How to deal with judgement?

I just *kitten* about it to my husband then move on. My mom constantly brings up my weight and weightloss. While it tends to be mostly good I get highly irritated by it due to our history especially concerning weight. But it's better to just deal with it and move on unless it's really hostile or rude. Then I just tell them their opinion is unnecessary and they can feel free to not say anything next time.

WTG with your loss so far, there will always be people who come across as mean spirited, weather they mean to or not. Just remember they are not perfect, so they may not realize how their comments make you feel unless you tell them. Tell them in a way that you would want to told if you stepped over the line.

I just say "I got this" and if needed because they go on with their unwanted comments I say it 2 more time, slower and in a lower tone.
Try it first time with a smile. after that put on your serious face and look them in the eye. 99% effective.

Relser wrote: »

jrulo16 wrote: »

Is it possible that this person honestly cares/is interested about your progress and isn't even noticing you are eating "bad" food?

Yes, I had to re read the OP a few times. Is he being a jerk about it? Putting the OP down? Smacking food out of her hands? Did she talk about dieting a lot while doing it, so it's a normal conversation now, rather then 'keeping tabs'?

And for someone who is quite sensitive about her own body, she is pretty quick to be dismissive of his. You never know what is happening that a person keeps secrete- a friend of mine can eat whatever she wants and stays rail thing- because she has issues with her stomach/guts processing foods- you couldn't tell from her every day behavior that she is ill.

Exactly.

marykt2016 wrote: »

This is one of the worst parts of losing weight, I think. It isn't something you can do privately...At some point, people will notice and start kind of inserting themselves into your process.
What has helped me most through my past few months, for my life in general, is telling myself as often as I can that the only person I'm doing this for is ME. And no else can tell me what to do with my body. Personally, I plan for Starbucks or a soda here and there because I know I can't just cut it out or I'll be miserable; that's MY choice.

You do you, boo. It's hard when others feel like they have a say in your journey. Find support and love. Congratulations on your loss! Keep reminding yourself that it's all for you

^^^ the bolded times 1,000
mostly i think people are well meaning, but it's hard for anyone to be 100% empathetic to the process and to know what to say all the time. and a lot of us are really sensitive about our weights still (maybe always) so it's easy to mis-step around us.

my mom pulls the "are you still on a diet" every single time i put something in my mouth around her. or even if she sees a cookie in my house she'll grill me about it. another friend, while lamenting about how no matter what she does she can't lose weight, told me that with everything i do i should be losing a lot faster. that one flabbergasted me for a minute, maybe longer because she repeated it several times even as i explained to her that i was losing at the rate i planned.

there are those that will say things that are deliberately demeaning and hurtful, and mfp always has threads about friends who ditched people once they lost weight. imho, these are the people who aren't even thinking about you or your process, they are the ones that are only thinking of themselves in relation to you. they used to have something they felt superior about, and as they lose that edge they tend to lash out or distance themselves. when people show you who they are, believe them. losing them will make you feel lighter just like losing the weight does.

There is a lot of feedback coming your way but I wanted to add a perspective. I have been in the scenario that you described and in my case, your right! He was "reminding" me not to eat the food that I chose to it. Clearly I am eating it and know the consequences of doing so. I'm not a moron!
He was checking me.
I don't bi*** about how hard it is to stay fit and then hypocritically sit down to gorge myself at dinner. I didn't ask for his input.
He stays trim and I don't. He hasn't earned the right to understand where I'm coming from.
I work my a** off everyday and count calories all freaking day- he doesn't. He smugly says, "are you still on a diet?" I say,"why the f*** do you care?" He shuts up.

If he was "just looking out for me" and being kind *cough BS**then he is pansy enough to forgive me for misreading his intentions.
If he was all up in my business like he wants to be a smart a** then he is smart enough to know he needs to govern himself and not this grown woman.

Do I sound defensive? I am.
Do his words hurt my pride? Yes.
Is he right? No.

winejunky143 wrote: »

When I started this journey I didn't have much weight to lose. I don't have a success story to share. I'm not noticeably thinner with clothes on. But like you I feel pushed by others to lose weight.
I've been body shamed by my family most of my life. My sister is much thinner than I am. To the point of being unhealthy. Growing up she always told me how fat I was. Every day she told me I was fat. She moved out first and I had a few years of peace. Now I recently moved out with a family member who is even worse.. I run every day for an hour after work and when I get back from my run exhausted and covered in sweat he says things like "it must suck to work that hard and still be so fat."
After so many years of mental and emotional abuse I don't think I will ever be happy with my body image. I will always believe I'm fat. The relentless bullying has lead to eating disorders and depression.
I know how you feel. There's a lot of us that do. I know how much it hurts to be constantly criticized and made to hate your own body. I'm not sure how to overcome this so I can't help you there..
I recently put up a poster next to the mirror in my room that says "if you wouldn't say it to a friend don't say it to yourself." This helps me from criticizing my own body. Maybe this could help you too?

Horrible rude and unsupportive, abusive people happen, sometimes they are our family members. I feel your pain. He needs to go, as far away from you as possible.

Older brother...

Ever heard of skinny fat? You see a skinny person that lives on beer and chips and candy bars ECT? Their insides are still taking a toll on their health..Fatty liver, diabetic, hardening of the arteries....The same health problems we can get only it don't appear on the outside..I wouldn't let any human judge me... I'm doing this for me...That person may think they are being supportive for you but just going about it wrong..You need encouraged.. Were here for you..50 pound loss is no joke...That's FANTASTIC!!!!! You just keep on doing your thing..Don't let them bring you down.....It's a long process..And a life change..Even dr oz said one thing at a time...If you love icecream add to it some whole fruit....If you like cookies add some whole oats and nuts..So you can cheat yet get some nutrition from it....I understand.