19yo and At least 400lbs--looking for some support

So this is my first post here. I've had a MyFitnessPal account for some time now. Every once-and-awhile I'll get into a small fitness tinge, but nothing really major at all. I'll start off with giving you all a concise version of my story.

I'm from a mid-sized town called Paducah, KY. About exactly halfway between St. Louis, MO and Nashville, TN. You may have heard of it, but probably not.

I'm 19 years old, graduated high-school by the skin of my teeth, and dropped out of college after my freshman year, partly because I was somehow suddenly awful at math (even after being in honors math classes between 6th and 11th grades), but also partly because I just felt I didn't need it. Now, three months and countless ventures and countless anxiety induced restless nights later, I'm currently a web designer and videographer for a local marketing startup, and the future is looking bright. In almost every way really, except for my health.

I've always been big, but I think I got lucky and always had it pretty easy throughout life from a social standpoint. Never really bullied at all; In fact, quite the opposite. In my high school I was in student government, ran pep-rallies, etc. When I got to college at Northern Kentucky University in Greater Cincinnati, I pledged one of the most well-known fraternities on campus in my spring semester and was the first-ever unanimous vote-in in the chapter's 36-year history. I was vice-president of the economics club and worked for the IT department on-campus. Needless to say, I've always been known, and being very recognizable, as a bigger guy, definitely helped.

But it never really helped me lose weight, for some reason. In fact, it may have hurt me.

I've never really felt pressured to change, at all. I've been known as the "big guy" my entire life. My pediatrician growing up told me that it was the craziest thing she'd ever seen. I was the first patient that she'd ever had that was massively overweight, but in perfect health internally. That was the case all the way up until about 2 years ago when I was diagnosed with high blood pressure. At this point, a normal doctor, not a pediatrician, and she was definitely concerned. I believe at the time I was close to 450lbs. Going to college really helped, surprisingly. With how much walking was required to get around campus, It was probably inevitable. I haven't really been to the doctor in a while, but I would say I dropped close to 25lbs within a couple of months of being on-campus, living independently of my family.

I definitely think that aspect helped a bit as well. Whenever I would try to begin eating healthy, I would essentially have to eat by myself because nobody else in the family wanted to eat the things that I was cooking that were much healthier for me. This would essentially lead to my mom being mad because household food costs were rising (cooking 2 different meals every meal, basically), and we would all go back to our old ways of eating, which, most of the time, were rather unhealthy.

I know the basics of getting healthy: More out than in, track your macros, and don't be sedentary.

As a web designer and videographer, that's not the easiest thing in the world to do. When I'm not out filming, I'm sitting in front of a computer editing footage or designing webpages.

I'm looking to make changes, lifelong changes, NOW, before it permanently affects my lifespan more than it already has. But I KNOW I can't do them without some sort of support network. I've tried doing things on my own in the past, and the longest it's lasted was maybe a few weeks, and never resulted in anything at all.

One of my biggest weaknesses is that I love food. I'm definitely a foodie. When I was little, instead of watching cartoons, I would watch Food Network. Instead of playing outside until dinner was ready, I would come in and watch my mom or grandma cook. I'm definitely well above average skill-wise for someone my age as far as cooking abilities go.

Lately, I've been just not feeling well at all. Very tired and down, definitely some bouts of depression and just not wanting to talk to people at all. It has some due in part to being 250 miles from most of my friends now that I've dropped out of college, but also to do definitely in part with my diet. I know that if I can get my diet right, everything will start falling back into place.

I want to start with what goes in, because I know as big as I am, my RMR is higher than average, which means that I can lose lots of weight very quickly in the beginning without even changing my activity levels at all. I also know that If I eat right, my energy levels will rise, which will give me more and more energy and motivation to get up and go exercise, even if it is just walking a mile or two.

I just needed to get my story out there, and I need some sort of support group of people that can hold me accountable, because self-accountability is definitely not one of my strong suits at 19.

Thanks for taking the time to read this.

Talon Lister