Is it impossible to lead a fulfilling life when you're fat?

I heard somewhere that changing your eating habits are like changing any other habit. For some, food is an addiction. I don't smoke, but I did hear this in reference to smoking, as well.

Before you can give something up, you need to really appreciate it. Don't do it out of habit, do it out of love. If you only eat food you really love, take the time to enjoy it! enjoy every bite, every flavor, every texture. Don't just eat because it's there. If you see some doritos don't just throw a handful in your mouth. Go ahead, eat the doritos, but ENJOY THEM. you'll eat less and you'll feel more satisfied if you hit your craving. If you don't love it, don't eat it.

Yes... one day at a time. Stop thinking about forever, that' can be overwhelming.

and it's not that you CAN'T have those foods, they aren't "forbidden" - you can! Just not every single day and in moderation when you do.

Find ways that you can add other things to your life that you enjoy so that food isn't the sole purpose of living. It should be PART of living (an enjoyable part) but there should also other parts of your life to enjoy as well.

The answer is you do not have to deny yourself all of those things to be fit and healthy. Sure you can't eat them daily, but a treat every now and then or while on vacation will not make a huge difference. We get fat and stay fat by consistently eating over the calories our bodies need. When you go on vacation you will not eat the most fattening and high calorie things the whole time you are on vacation. You'll probably have a meal or two where you indulge completely but then eat healthy the rest of the time, that's what normal weight people do. Don't look at this like a death sentence for your best friend food Ellie, you are making healthy changes which will make your life better. That way food will become a fun companion when you have something special but a means to nourish your body other times. We can do this!:flowerforyou: Good luck on your journey!

Amy:bigsmile:

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http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/6556-the-answers-to-the-questions

i honestly feel that i enjoy those things more when i have worked hard all week paying attention to my diet and exercise so that i may have an outting or social event were i can indulge. every thing is bestin moderation even moderation. I'm new to this community but have battled with the scale being both under and over weight. now i just want to stop batteling and live. my best wishes are to you!


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I completely agree with everything arewethereyet said! Choices and moderation. You can still LIVE and live out loud. Enjoy this life.

Like songbyrd, I've read almost all your posts too. I think some people might be able to live a fulfilling life when they're heavy - but I don't think you're one of them. I think you will be happier when you've grabbed hold of your life and take charge. You're on your way - keep going!

Don't wait until you have health issues (like I did) and then feel regret. Keep leaning on us. We will help carry you. One day you won't need us. Working toward that freedom will be truly liberating.

I'm sure it's been suggested, but when I start thinking about food, I get on the treadmill, grab a big glass of water, start cleaning or reading; anything that will help me get another focus.

We're all cheering for you!

What's more memorable? The dingy pond outside your bedroom window or the frothy shores of your summer home?

You can eat everything you mentioned...just in moderation. And savor every last bite! For so many years I inhaled food, enjoying the sensation of eating more than the food itself. And I HATED myself for it--for how I'd have the best intentions, then they'd buckle and die and I'd tell myself "Just one more Bad Girl day"...for years.

Now, if you cannot control yourself around tempting foods, then you might cut them out for just a little while--just until you've found the strength and confidence to say "Just a bite," or "Ehh, I'm full."

This past summer, even though I was "dieting," I know I would have gone berserk over my stepdad's holiday sweets. I would have said "Screw it, it's the HOLIDAYS!" But throughout this first semester of college, when I have been able to define my own dining choices, I realized that I COULD say no...and more importantly, it was an easy no, not a teeth-gritting, battle of good vs. evil no.

Granted, I'm not entirely "healed." When I was upset about something and happened to have a cookie, I was ready to claw someone's eyes out for a few more. But I realized that this would accomplish NOTHING. I would be giving into my demons, the ones that were sooo close to being exorcised. I refused to have another cookie and I DID it. The pride I felt totally killed any remorse over only having 1 cookie.

You can do it! It might take a little time for your demons to leave, and it might take a few trials, but trust me, it'll happen.

Here is my thought and what I say comes from my own struggles with whether to diet or not to diet -
If you are not in a place where you want to diet then don't.

Otherwise it is going to be counter-productive. Don't do it because you think that you should. Its just a way of punishing yourself. It sets you up for failure.

To answer your question - yes you can live a fulfilling life when you are fat. Especially if you are fit and fat. Now, some people may say that is incompatable. I don't. You can be physically active and overweight and your health will be much better than those who are fat and get no physically activity. In fact there have been recent studies which say it is more important to be physically active than to lose weight (although doing both is best).

If you are not in a place where you are focused on losing weight then don't diet. It is important to not to get into a dieting then binging cycle. You may want to concentrate not on losing weight but on getting healthy. Make sure to incorporate phyiscal activity and try to moderate the foods you enjoy (e.g. alternate between a beer and a glass or water, have 2 beers instead of 5). You may find yourself feeling a lot better about life and healthier. You may then be ready to diet and focus on losing weight or you may be happy as you are.

There were a lot of years where I thought I should be dieting but my heart wasn't in it. There was a lot of half-hearted attempts that never worked. The point where I allowed myself to say that I didn't want to diet and stopped was the first step to getting healtier. I started dancing and walking and gardening - all things I love and I've done them now just about every day for over 18 months. The difference that it made was huge. I then got to a place where I wanted to lose more weight, so I am doing it. I don't feel like I am punishing myself when I choose something healthy over else something I would have wanted to eat because it is my choice to do it. That is not to say that my choices are always perfect because sometimes I choose to deviate from the diet or I choose to kick my butt with exercise afterwards to make up the calories.

If you do want to diet and lose weight, as other people have said, it can be done and you can have things you like to eat. You will have to moderate some things. Exercise calories are a godsend when you want something that would have maxed out your daily allotment of calories. You are also allowed to not be 100% all time and have a day off now and then as long as you don't overdo it.

The thing is that you are not a victim of a diet. You need to make your choice about whether you want to do it or not. Then follow through knowing that it is your choice.

I just want to say, after being on a lifestyle change for so long, instead of dieting if that makes sense, yes.

I have struggeled with eating for emotional reasons as far back as I can remember, and had other eating problems that I have overcome.
Sometimes eating is just eating, lots of other times it is not.

It took me realizing why I was emotional eating to begin to change my habits.

Now, 8 months into a healthy lifestyle change, I realize a party or BBQ is not about the food, its about the people you get to hang out with. Even now, I eat junk sometimes, but I actually feel better when I am eating healthier and exercising.

A vacation is about relaxing, if it is with someone, about spending time with them not the food.

You see what I mean? I have gone through a stage where I was totally obsessed with food, and it has taken me a few years to realize that I was filling up my mind with food to forget the rest of the stuff.

I didn't get a chance to read all the replies but I did skim the one where a girl mentioned don't start to lose weight until you are ready. For me it was the same with quitting smoking (7 months down woo). Not until I was in the right mindset did I even bother to try.

Anyways I just want to offer you a hug:flowerforyou: and best of luck in your journey!

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girl you got it and know what its about,last 4 months i lost 41 pounds total,and i feel like you,working to hard to go back in bad habits.

I also can't handle greasy foods like I used to. My stomach changed along with my habits.

Yep, if you manage to stay strong at it for a while, your body will change - it will tell you when it's full, it will tell you "yeaky, this is fatty and disgusting", it will tell you "yesterday you binged, I am sure you don't wanna do it again today" (tummy hurts), it will tell you "by the time you come to desert, you'll be full, so you might wanna have that later; not just now".

I DO understand so well how it's like to think about food all the time. I noticed that when I'm careful with what I eat, I think more about it. Plan it more. I would say that if you invest real energy in it, you gain from it. Example: spend a bit more time shopping: instead of just rushing for chips, because you feel the urge, just think a bit longer about the best (healthy+tasty) way to cook that broccoli. Go get all the ingredients. It's good to spend that much time: you're getting something healthy to fuel your body. And then, when you come home, resist the urge to throw yourself on the couch and munch on the chips, but start by cooking that broccoli. This is my own experience - I tend to still do the first more often, and regret it, but learn to go for the second instead, for the afterwards feeling - not only full and satisfied, but also happy with myself. Proud that I did something good to myself. Something healthy.

So yeah, as contradictory as it may be, it's maybe just part of the game. You will find your way, because you want it! Being low is part of the struggle. Yet, it's best to question it all the way, and hate it at times, then to regret it afterwards, when you can't change it. Plus, you've come all this way, it's worth pushing it a bit longer. You don't know how long. But try just a bit longer.

We don't have yesterday (it's gone), you don't have tomorrow (not there yet, and not predictable), but we have TODAY (by which we make it up for yesterday and we influence the tomorrow).

:flowerforyou:

What stuck out most to about your post is how food seems to equal happiness. I have been there and still am to a certain extent. I still overeat, I guess the difference now is that I'm overeating on healthier food when I do. Still not good behavior but it does keep me thinner than I would be eating McDonalds.

I know ads on TV don't help. They have you believe a cheeseburger, coke, and fries will make your day, if not improve your life.

I think the only time I've really modified my diet is after reading books on the subject.

The one that woke me up is Fast Food Nation. It is very well written and goes into how food marketing is killing us, literally. I've bid farewell to liquid sugar (coca cola) and fast food and don't even miss it that much.

I agree with the previous post that the focus must be on today, pat yourself on the back each step of the way when you make your goal. You can do it!

I find your post interesting. I didn't read all of the replies so forgive me if I am repeating what others have said. I have lost 56 lbs to date. I plan on losing more. Last night I had a cinnamon bun for dessert. Friday night, My guy and I had pizza. During christmas I went out with friends and had wings. Last summer I had ice cream at least once a week. What you're not realizing is that you can do all of those things an not be fat. I get the distinct impression that you're making excuses for yourself "everyone else has ice creammm..." Well that's not always true, but even if it is, nobody is stopping you from having some, just have a single scoop. I feel your pain, I used to buy a tub or 2 of ben and jerry;s and eat it all in one sitting.

I think you can still do ALL of the things you're scared you can't, you just need to take control of yourself, and your emotional issues so that having a treat is having a treat and not a huge binge. I think you're doing really well so far, and thinking ahead like this iss probably more harmful than helpful. Take things one day at a time, deal with emotional issues 1 day at a time.

You can absolutely lead a wonderful, fulfilling life as an overweight person. But you are not overweight, nor was I when I started out. Emotionally you can be very fulfilled as an obese person, but to feel truly fulfilled I want to have children, and run and play with them. I want to play sports and plan birthday parties and travel. I want to hike and horseback ride and swim in the ocean. I want to be healthy and not worry about diabetes and heart disease and cancer more than a healthy individual should. I think you need to do this for yourself. When I was obese I didn't feel happy doing much at all.... You may feel happy while you're eating, but do you feel happy when you do anything else?

Is it food that really makes life fulfulling? If it is, maybe you should start asking yourself what you are really hungry for...

Have your ice cream on the beach, your beer when you are out with friends, and whatever else is you want... but have less of it! Nothing should be off limits. Also, when you learn to start loving healthier food, some of the old stuff loses its appeal and you will wonder why three plates at the buffet was ever a good idea!

It isn't about food. Whatever it is that you are looking for won't be found in a pint of ice cream. Figure out what it is that you are really worried about giving up or why you need to focus on food in the first place. Find things you love other than food and fill your life with those things. Pretty soon, it won't be a battle to avoid food, it will be finding the time to fit a healthy meal in when you are so busy with so many other fabulous things.

Hang in there! Message me any time if you would like. :flowerforyou:

I think the answer is simple... you should totally enjoy everything that you do no matter what. However, if your concern is that endulging in certain foods that "come with the territory" of certain activities, and your goal is to lose weight and be healthy then I think the answer is simple: You just need to work as hard as you play, plain and simple. What I mean is that if you say go to mexico and go to a buffet, first off dont just sti there and stuff your face (this is what I would want to do hehe) eat what you need of what you want, add up the calories and then at least burn 3/4 of them off with excercise. Dont forget that places like all inclusive resorts (and I know this was just an example) ALWAYS include a workout facility, and if they dont... put on the running shoes and sweat. It sounds like you're getting really flustered over this like you cant enjoy food anymore which just isn't the case. You just have to work harder if you do endulge.... so really that's the problem not the eating. Can you go through the rest of your life working harder when these situations do arise, and they will. You know it and I know it, that's just life.