Divorced Hangout

_A_Real_Mouthful wrote: »

marriage is a beautiful thing honestly. everybody should do it at least twice.

littlemissbgiff wrote: »

Divorce is not a death sentence. It's another chapter. Best decision I have ever made. Doesn't mean it was easy but it was worth it.

GymRatSF wrote: »

littlemissbgiff wrote: »

Divorce is not a death sentence. It's another chapter. Best decision I have ever made. Doesn't mean it was easy but it was worth it.

I second this. I am less sad about the divorce than I am the number of years I lost hoping things would change but never did.

newmeadow wrote: »

maeld51 wrote: »

@newmeadow

Thanks for listing all of my possible options, even if they seemed sarcastic and purposefully grim.

I "put out" before I was married and I've "put out" since I've been divorced.
He doesn't fit into any of your categories.

I already had my knight in shining amour,
I married him.
Not looking for another.

I keep going back and reading your post and it makes me wonder why you did not list one single positive comment.
I'm sorry if you've experienced any of your examples.

I like men.
I think there are many more options than you mentioned.

My advice to myself and anyone else who cares to hear it is, never give up if that is what you want.

50 ain't old people!!!!

It actually wasn't sarcastic or purposefully grim. I don't personally put out before marriage, because I've done that, it was a mistake and I'm not doing it anymore.

But were I offered a marriage proposal I would absolutely consider a man from options 8, 4, 3 and 2 if I he had courted me for a minimum of one year, accepted the terms of no sex before marriage and proved himself to be a person who was trustworthy and principled and intellectually on par with me.

I added options 5, 6 and 7 because I understand most women aren't as socially conservative as I am. Here in Chit Chat these options are bragged about and flouted by a lot of women who thinks it's great and celebrate it. Hence, there are options for everyone.

I added option 1 because some 50+ year old women are gorgeous and fit and appear quite young. Your profile photo shows blond hair, pleasant bone structure and unlined eyes so you may well fit into this category. But it's hard to tell without a complete photo. You choose to keep it private and it's none of my business.

Of course it's possible that you or I or any of us in the same age bracket will meet a 50+ year old man who with no potbelly, who's looking for a 50+ year old woman, who isn't financially supporting his grown sons and daughters plus his grandchildren, who's gainfully employed or comfortably retired, who doesn't get drunk or have a history of getting high, who will treat you like gold, who isn't bitter and hardened, who will still be virile and sexually competent, has no health issues and will always call when he says he will and doesn't have a mentally imbalanced ex who sends scary texts and slashes tires.

But the odds for such a win aren't good and we aren't getting any younger. Hence the options. And I don't think it's a question of positivity versus negativity. Just values and we all have different ones. I'm more on par with Dr. Laura Schlesinger take on the matter. You mentioned her so I thought you were on the same page. Apparently not, so nevermind.

littlemissbgiff wrote: »

Charlotte318 wrote: »

Well not divorced yet but I am afraid it is coming to that. Married 7 years together for 12. My husband does not seem to want to open up to me and when things get really bad he seems to run elsewhere. I want my family but I don't know if it's fixable as he always refuses counseling and is now shutting me out altogether. Many of you have been through terrible situations and I feel for you. I think my fear is starting over

Change is always scary and hard. But just because something is hard doesnt mean it is bad. Overcome your fear and take care of you and your family, what ever that looks like.