slimming world has made me want to starve
Replies
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Alatariel75 wrote: »Getawayfromthecake wrote: »thanks guys i know the post is long but i needed to vent. i know mfp is the way forward but i still feel i dont want them to win
They 'win' when you come back, week after week, and give them your money.
Exactly!2 -
If they make you feel the way you felt there is obviously something wrong. Quit paying them and focus on yourself. Log your foods but focus on yourself and your child. That is far more important than being miserable. Vote with your wallet. As others said, they "win" when you come back.2
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Thanks everyone. I decided to delete post as ive and soaked myself in the negativity for 4 days now. (it happened monday). The approach is obviously not helping. I lost 5 stone once, through this site. Eating healthy and loving myself. Dorina the slimming world consultant is still a big lady so if it's that amazing why isnt it even working for the consultant. I can do it again I'm sure.12
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Alatariel75 wrote: »Well, they do make money from keeping people around... encouraging them to eat unlimited pasta is a good way to make sure no one succeeds too quickly, lol...
Kind of like how some calorie tracking programs over estimate calories burned and under estimate calories consumed. Or kind of like how some group-x rooms have mirrors that are sort of like fun house mirrors... not obvious enough that you can really see but just enough that adds 5 LBS. Keeps you coming back...
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Getawayfromthecake wrote: »
I'm also really depressed and at rock bottom so comments like that just make m,e think what's the point in reaching out
Is it possible you are going through some postpartum depression? It kind of sounds like it to me. You might benefit from talking with your doctor about it, making sure you get as much rest as you can (sleep when baby sleeps!), and feeding your body the best you can nutritionally right now. I had PPD really bad with my first baby and it can really take a toll on you. If you think this might be the case for you, reach out to your husband, family, and doctors for support. Hang in there!1 -
goodasgoldilox wrote: »There are some comedy sketches about a slimming consultant like yours. The British comedian David Walliams (who performs with Matt Lucas) created a character called Marjorie Dawes. She is insensitive and foolish in equal measure!
Thanks - found more info, dear #OP , this should help:
"The FatFighters diets Marjorie promotes are generally counterproductive to her group. One diet used by FatFighters is the "Half-the-Calories" diet. This involves cutting food in half, therefore giving it half the calories and because it's half the calories a person can have twice as much.[5] Marjorie is also a great believer in diets that involve eating dust, as dust, of course, has no fat in it, so someone can have as much dust as they like.[6] In the Little Britain script book for series 2, there is a FatFighters diet sheet that includes meals involving dust such as 'Dustburger', 'Full English Dust' and 'Pain au Dust'. The sheet includes a message at the bottom that says "It's not easy, but good luck and remember - you are fat, loathsome scum".*[7] As a result of such dietary advice, the group members often find other methods to lose weight much to the disgust of Marjorie who regards them traitors.
Another aspect that challenges Marjorie’s suitability for her job is the fact she is overweight herself, although she does claim to be at her target weight, despite being approximately 15 stone and 8½ pounds (99 kg). This is easily explained when Marjorie's own eating habits are shown, often doing exactly what she tells the FatFighters not to do. During sketches, she will occasionally try to hide from the group and eat large amounts of food in the mistaken belief the group cannot see or hear what she's doing."5 -
ronjsteele1 wrote: »Getawayfromthecake wrote: »
I'm also really depressed and at rock bottom so comments like that just make m,e think what's the point in reaching out
Is it possible you are going through some postpartum depression? It kind of sounds like it to me. You might benefit from talking with your doctor about it, making sure you get as much rest as you can (sleep when baby sleeps!), and feeding your body the best you can nutritionally right now. I had PPD really bad with my first baby and it can really take a toll on you. If you think this might be the case for you, reach out to your husband, family, and doctors for support. Hang in there!
i am yes. i visited the doctor today. he just didnt seem to understand i was trying to explain, i said she is just so much hard work. his reply was ' thats babies im afraid and it only gets worse'
he did give me anti depressants but after researching the side effects i have decided not to take them. i was hoping for non medicated support maybe counselling support groups, that type of thing x my mums great though so ill just have to keep leaning on her.0 -
Please be kind to yourself. Leave SW and come back here. So many of us know what you are going through. We've been there, both with the weight and the postpartum depression. These two things are not mutually exclusive, which sucks joy out of spending time with your little on. This is such precious time. They truly grow so fast. Try to enjoy being a mother and worry about the weight later. It will come off. You said that you've done this before, so you will do it again. If you don't want to try meds yet, find things that work: taking a walk with baby, a new kind of tea to try, nap when baby naps, anything that will recharge you and give you energy. Take it one day at a time. Treat yourself the way you would treat a friend-with kindness and compassion. You're worth it
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Getawayfromthecake wrote: »ronjsteele1 wrote: »Getawayfromthecake wrote: »
I'm also really depressed and at rock bottom so comments like that just make m,e think what's the point in reaching out
Is it possible you are going through some postpartum depression? It kind of sounds like it to me. You might benefit from talking with your doctor about it, making sure you get as much rest as you can (sleep when baby sleeps!), and feeding your body the best you can nutritionally right now. I had PPD really bad with my first baby and it can really take a toll on you. If you think this might be the case for you, reach out to your husband, family, and doctors for support. Hang in there!
i am yes. i visited the doctor today. he just didnt seem to understand i was trying to explain, i said she is just so much hard work. his reply was ' thats babies im afraid and it only gets worse'
he did give me anti depressants but after researching the side effects i have decided not to take them. i was hoping for non medicated support maybe counselling support groups, that type of thing x my mums great though so ill just have to keep leaning on her.
Did you ask him for a referral for some talking therapy?1 -
I dont really know what resources exist so i assumed as he only suggested tablets that was the only optionTavistockToad wrote: »Getawayfromthecake wrote: »ronjsteele1 wrote: »Getawayfromthecake wrote: »
I'm also really depressed and at rock bottom so comments like that just make m,e think what's the point in reaching out
Is it possible you are going through some postpartum depression? It kind of sounds like it to me. You might benefit from talking with your doctor about it, making sure you get as much rest as you can (sleep when baby sleeps!), and feeding your body the best you can nutritionally right now. I had PPD really bad with my first baby and it can really take a toll on you. If you think this might be the case for you, reach out to your husband, family, and doctors for support. Hang in there!
i am yes. i visited the doctor today. he just didnt seem to understand i was trying to explain, i said she is just so much hard work. his reply was ' thats babies im afraid and it only gets worse'
he did give me anti depressants but after researching the side effects i have decided not to take them. i was hoping for non medicated support maybe counselling support groups, that type of thing x my mums great though so ill just have to keep leaning on her.
Did you ask him for a referral for some talking therapy?
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Hi,
It sounds like you are in a hard place. Please be kind to yourself and cut yourself some slack. It's okay to feel however you are feeling. I know that doesn't take anything away, but sometimes just allowing ourselves permission to feel how we do can help.
You might try and see if there are any mother/baby groups in your area. I know La Leche League here in Ireland has breastfeeding support groups for mums or perhaps even see if there are any MeetUp websites? I just Googled search and found NHS and other non-statutory groups that might be useful: https://www.google.ie/search?q=support+for+new+mom+suk&oq=support+for+new+mom+suk&aqs=chrome..69i57.5319j0j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8#q=support+for+new+moms+uk
Reach out because you are not alone. Tons of resources here as well: http://www.thespark.co.uk/read-the-spark/family/support-for-new-mums.html
You have so much going on in your life right now and you sound overwhelmed. Put the weight loss aside for the moment and focus on your overall wellbeing right now (the rest will follow).
Best of luck xx
Danika2 -
Having a baby is an EXTREME adjustment. At least, it was for me. I struggled for about the first year, but it definitely gets better. I did go on a low dose of medication that helped me. Also, I wish I would have accepted more help early on...would have made it a lot easier, I think.0
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Getawayfromthecake wrote: »
I dont really know what resources exist so i assumed as he only suggested tablets that was the only optionTavistockToad wrote: »Getawayfromthecake wrote: »ronjsteele1 wrote: »Getawayfromthecake wrote: »
I'm also really depressed and at rock bottom so comments like that just make m,e think what's the point in reaching out
Is it possible you are going through some postpartum depression? It kind of sounds like it to me. You might benefit from talking with your doctor about it, making sure you get as much rest as you can (sleep when baby sleeps!), and feeding your body the best you can nutritionally right now. I had PPD really bad with my first baby and it can really take a toll on you. If you think this might be the case for you, reach out to your husband, family, and doctors for support. Hang in there!
i am yes. i visited the doctor today. he just didnt seem to understand i was trying to explain, i said she is just so much hard work. his reply was ' thats babies im afraid and it only gets worse'
he did give me anti depressants but after researching the side effects i have decided not to take them. i was hoping for non medicated support maybe counselling support groups, that type of thing x my mums great though so ill just have to keep leaning on her.
Did you ask him for a referral for some talking therapy?
No. Go back, ask for talking therapy, it very much exists on the NHS2 -
Alatariel75 wrote: »Well, they do make money from keeping people around... encouraging them to eat unlimited pasta is a good way to make sure no one succeeds too quickly, lol...
Some of the syns don't make sense either you're only allowed 15 syns a day and things like avacado are classed as a syn alongside chocolate... i always thought avacado was very good for you. 1 avacado is 3 syns. porridge oats are limited to 35g and if you want more fibre it must by syned.0 -
Getawayfromthecake wrote: »ronjsteele1 wrote: »Getawayfromthecake wrote: »
I'm also really depressed and at rock bottom so comments like that just make m,e think what's the point in reaching out
Is it possible you are going through some postpartum depression? It kind of sounds like it to me. You might benefit from talking with your doctor about it, making sure you get as much rest as you can (sleep when baby sleeps!), and feeding your body the best you can nutritionally right now. I had PPD really bad with my first baby and it can really take a toll on you. If you think this might be the case for you, reach out to your husband, family, and doctors for support. Hang in there!
i am yes. i visited the doctor today. he just didnt seem to understand i was trying to explain, i said she is just so much hard work. his reply was ' thats babies im afraid and it only gets worse'
he did give me anti depressants but after researching the side effects i have decided not to take them. i was hoping for non medicated support maybe counselling support groups, that type of thing x my mums great though so ill just have to keep leaning on her.
Good for you for wanting to avoid the drugs. There are some things you can do nutritionally that will help. They are not fix alls, but will definitely help. Make sure you are getting a fairly good amount of Omega 3's, Vit. D, and B vitamins. Those three in particular are very helpful with mood and I found them exceedingly helpful with my PPD. Actually, to this day (15+yrs since my last baby), I still find those things helpful (especially during the winter). I was using 1 tbls of lemon flavored cod liver oil per day, 10,000ius of Vit. D3 (I still take this much daily), and a regular b complex vitamin. Being postpartum (and I'm assuming nursing????) your body's nutritional needs are going to be high. PPD is hard. Yes, babies are exhausting, but your doctor's response is not helpful! Do you have a friend that has a teenager that could maybe come over one or two afternoons a week so you can get some things done while she watches baby (for free - we called it "life lessons" for our kids)? Even if it's to allow you to clean house without having to worry about what baby is doing, etc. Definitely try and find some support among family and close friends that have little ones that understand.
Yes, children are hard work. But your doctor seems to have failed to impart to you they are also a blessing. I have 3 teens right now and I love it! They are so much fun to be with, they are sweet spirited, and very helpful. So the rewards for your hard work are worth it. Hang in there, momma. It DOES get easier as you get a schedule, baby gets a bit bigger (feeding schedules spread out a bit,etc.). There is a huge learning curve when you bring a new baby home. Allow yourself the time to adjust. (((hug))) You can do this.
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girlwithcurls2 wrote: »Please be kind to yourself. Leave SW and come back here. So many of us know what you are going through. We've been there, both with the weight and the postpartum depression. These two things are not mutually exclusive, which sucks joy out of spending time with your little on. This is such precious time. They truly grow so fast. Try to enjoy being a mother and worry about the weight later. It will come off. You said that you've done this before, so you will do it again. If you don't want to try meds yet, find things that work: taking a walk with baby, a new kind of tea to try, nap when baby naps, anything that will recharge you and give you energy. Take it one day at a time. Treat yourself the way you would treat a friend-with kindness and compassion. You're worth it
THIS ^^^^^^. Love this! 0 -
Honestly guys, the responses here are great. I'm not nursing (in many ways i wish I was especially since it is meant to burn 500cals a day but its not something my body allowed me to do) The logical side of me is aware that everything you are saying is true and im trying my best to focus on that side xxx0
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I haven't read your post because you have edited it but if you are unhappy at SW and you have an 11 week old baby I would suggest you give yourself a break - losing weight right away is not as important as your wellbeing and your little one having a happy mummy. You will still be swimming with hormones and putting yourself under pressure may be really bad for your mental health. I was pregnant 4 years ago but my baby was still born at full term - I obviously went through a really dark time but like you I refused to take anti-depressants and for me that was the right decision but if you feel like you are not getting better it might be worth considering. It is great that you have your mum around but also try to get yourself to some baby groups because you will probably find that lots of other mums are going through the same thing and it might help to talk to people in a similar position. Netmums is a good on-line resource too if you want to talk to other mums but can't face the groups. Sorry if I have got the wrong gist of your post xx0
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youre pretty much on the money. the slimming world consultant humiliated me in group because i have maintained for 3 weeks and accused me of eating too much and spoiling my baby. on top of my depression i have taken the experience very badly and its made me want to starve as i was genuinely following plan. im thinking more positively today and this is great advice xxJenPass1977 wrote: »I haven't read your post because you have edited it but if you are unhappy at SW and you have an 11 week old baby I would suggest you give yourself a break - losing weight right away is not as important as your wellbeing and your little one having a happy mummy. You will still be swimming with hormones and putting yourself under pressure may be really bad for your mental health. I was pregnant 4 years ago but my baby was still born at full term - I obviously went through a really dark time but like you I refused to take anti-depressants and for me that was the right decision but if you feel like you are not getting better it might be worth considering. It is great that you have your mum around but also try to get yourself to some baby groups because you will probably find that lots of other mums are going through the same thing and it might help to talk to people in a similar position. Netmums is a good on-line resource too if you want to talk to other mums but can't face the groups. Sorry if I have got the wrong gist of your post xx
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What a *kitten* consultant!! I have done SW successfully before (before I got married) and I am now doing it from home with the help of MFP to lose some more as I put weight back on during the first 2 years of my marriage. My SW consultant at the time was fab and I personally think the plan is a sound one. It's not dieting, it's just a way of monitoring your intake but to be honest, it's only calories in versus calories out like MFP is but MFP is more flexible.
I now have a 3 year old and when I was on MAT leave I made sure once we had got up and dressed in the morning I would get the pushchair out and do a couple of miles walk, I found the fresh air and exercise helped my mind set and made me feel good to be alive, it also helped with weight loss a little. Keep coming back if you need to chat, it's not easy being a mum of a new born, I'll friend request you but I won't be offended if you aren't up for it. x0
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