Losing weight while you're in a relationship

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jeannine71
jeannine71 Posts: 66 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
Ok, so, is it just me?? I have the toughest time losing weight when I'm living with someone. My boyfriend isn't dieting or exercising at all....I moved a couple times in the past few years and don't have any friends to work out with....how do you do it? I try not to eat or drink as much as he does, but the temptation is ALWAYS there! I seem to give in almost every night - blowing the exercise and healthy eating I did all day. Any advice??
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Replies

  • abellante_0205
    abellante_0205 Posts: 368 Member
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    its hard!!! I tried to start my journey when i was engaged with my ex fiance (hes since then passed on)... but i was never committed to it so it didn't last! Try to talk to him, and see if he would support you by doing the same things you are.
  • pkarim
    pkarim Posts: 171
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    Tonight, after I was done eating all my healthy food and logging in my calories, my boyfriend came home with a huge array of chinese takeout. He brought enough for 4 people and we both ended up eating it all. This happens a lot and no matter how hard i try it is hard because he is a bodybuilder and he needs to eat so I feel like i need to eat with him. It happens but you just need to try and control yourself. Feel free to add me :)
  • joehempel
    joehempel Posts: 1,761 Member
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    You gotta get your mind right essentially.

    It's a willpower, mind over matter.

    Make healthy meals together, plan it for the week or something.

    It all boils down to HOW BAD DO YOU WANT IT?
  • ashlinmarie
    ashlinmarie Posts: 1,263 Member
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    You just have to stick with it. My husband eats like total CRAP. All processed foods and sugary things and drinks Mt. Dew like its water and I just have to stick to my own thing. Which is hard when he's like "Forget your diet and enjoy yourself". While he supports my decision to be healthy, he wishes I could just be happy at my current weight.

    It is much harder though. Whenever I got out of a relationship in the past, I seemed to drop 20 lbs very quickly. Now that I'm in one for the rest of my life, I know its going to be a struggle every day to be healthy for me and not "let myself go"
  • Becky1971
    Becky1971 Posts: 979 Member
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    Its very hard! Tell your self you can do it, you deserve it! And utilize MFP ALOT! Thats what gets me through it all!
  • mnsmith83
    mnsmith83 Posts: 128
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    easy answer: Just say no.

    You are the only person who is ultimately responsible for what goes in your mouth and how much your legs move. My mom is not dieting at all (though she easily has 200lbs to lose), and is constantly bringing ding dongs and cake and crap into the house. I just walk right by it. I don't want to undo my 5 weeks of hard work for 30 seconds of tasting something delicious! It's not worth it! My bf just got motivated to eat healthy and exercise too, but I only see him a couple days a week, so that isn't quite the same as your situation.

    You have to be accountable for you, and only you!
  • theflyingartist
    theflyingartist Posts: 385 Member
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    I am in the same situation! I can only offer one tip, and it will either work really well or it will annoy him... my boyfriend goes between the two (depending on how much he can take, haha!)
    But what I do is... talk to him about it! So I will measure my protein and fats, stuff he is interested in, and discuss it. Something like, "I've only got 41g to hit today on protein.. I could eat fish or try some lentils! What do you think?" And then we are cooking together, talking about protein and food, and I ask him a lot of questions about what he wants. So, for example, he is worried about cholesterol.. so we look it up, read about egg yolks on the food database on MFP, and we kind of plan out meals for him and I. It's all about integrating the relationship with the lifestyle!
    Good luck! :)
  • aarn6911
    aarn6911 Posts: 18 Member
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    No advice but I would love some on this topic as well! I am in the same boat except we don't officially live together I am just always at my boyfriends house and he eats like a horse! I want to know how people in relationships dont gain weight?!? My relationship is the reason I'm always on a diet!! Dont get me wrong I love him to death but I also want to look good for him and he's making that impossible!! I know i know self control right? Thats a lot easier said than done :sad:
  • LindseyDD
    LindseyDD Posts: 160 Member
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    I go through this every day! My husband isnt the most supportive when it comes to me wanting to be healthy and is constantly bringing home take out and ice cream. I am 100% committed to getting healthy and losing weight so I have not splurged at all in the last 4 months. The way I compromise is we do go out to dinner once a week but I plan ahead and find healthy eating choices online before we leave so I know exactly what I am going to be eating. Good luck it is tough, and this exact thing is what got me to this weight to begin with! It sucks!
  • lalalalyndsey
    lalalalyndsey Posts: 565
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    I have the same problem, but I've learned about a little thing called self-control. lol It's really hard and it doesn't work all the time, but you have to take responsibility for your eating and actions. I kept thinking it was my bfs fault that I wasn't losing weight, but really I only have myself to blame... he's definitely not the one who made me eat or drink! If you really want this, you'll have to fight that temptation! Sorry it's not much, but self-control is really the only way I've learned to deal.
  • bjohs
    bjohs Posts: 1,225 Member
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    I found a way to motivate my husband to get healthy with me. It won't work for everyone, but he is now down 37pounds and an exercising machine! LOL! If anything, my blog should give you a good laugh: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/bjohs/view/sex-weight-loss-117390.

    Hang in there! You will find a way to make a healthy lifestyle work!
  • SarahofTwins
    SarahofTwins Posts: 1,169 Member
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    You gotta get your mind right essentially.

    It's a willpower, mind over matter.

    Make healthy meals together, plan it for the week or something.

    It all boils down to HOW BAD DO YOU WANT IT?

    Exactly...once your mind is set everything else will follow.

    And trust me I know how hard it can be...my husband drinks sodas and brings home fast foods. :grumble:
  • TheKitsune6
    TheKitsune6 Posts: 5,798 Member
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    You gotta get your mind right essentially.

    It's a willpower, mind over matter.

    Make healthy meals together, plan it for the week or something.

    It all boils down to HOW BAD DO YOU WANT IT?

    ^^^ That

    You have ultimate control over everything you do. The sooner we take responsibility the sooner we make the changes that are necessary. Including saying "No thanks!"
  • deanadimples
    deanadimples Posts: 419 Member
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    Gawd, my BF not only doesn't eat healthy at ALL....he eats MASSIVE amounts. And he never gains. He has MAYBE 20 lbs he could lose.

    A typical meal at McDonalds? Big Mac Meal, Fish Filet AND 2 Double Cheeseburgers. If we go out for steak, it's a salad/breadstick, 10 oz steak AND a burger with fries. He's completely oblivious to the amount of calories and sodium he's eating. He eats out every meal for lunch and supper and on weekends he bowls professionally, so its eating out too.

    A couple years ago I was in a "biggest loser" type contest at a gym. During it, we were out of town and needed to get food. He just went to Taco Bell and just expected me to be able to eat whatever. Like I said...oblivious!

    Thank God we don't live together. He'd starve to death or I'd have to kill him! LOL
  • xraychick77
    xraychick77 Posts: 1,775 Member
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    yup..i'm there.

    i'm a healthy fit person who likes to work out and go do things..my mate is lazy and fat and eats crap. oh well. i just love her for her and do what i want..bless her thou..she brings home stuff she knows i like to eat..choc, ice cream etc..and i know its out of the sweetness of her heart..but dang..really?! its just will power..pure and simple.
  • lockermama
    lockermama Posts: 16
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    My husband has a lot more to lose than I do and he just doesn't pay attention to what he puts in his mouth (tries to "keep up" with our fit and exercise-prone teenager). I'm trying to set an example, and get him interested, kind of like theflyingartist posted above. Those are all good ideas. Good luck! It's hard to sit there and watch the Chinese food disappear, or not! But it gets easier with time. Hang in there!
  • Umeboshi
    Umeboshi Posts: 1,637 Member
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    I feel really lucky that my gf is going out of her way to support me most of the time. Luckily her junk food is stuff I'm uninterested in.. I hate mountain dew, little debbie cakes, jalapeno chips, and sausage sticks- all her favorite 'bad' stuff. :laugh: And she will also eat all my lower calorie foods so eating together isn't really a problem. It also helps that I announce my calories eaten/calories left to her and I think that makes her feel like she's having a victory too when I stay under because she helped :D (and it also makes her not want to encourage me to go over on calories). I second the suggestion of discussing nutrition and calories because that has definitely worked for me in getting her involved with this lifestyle change. :) Also try to get your partner involved in your exercise routine if you can as that is a great motivator and it's fun to have someone with you. Good luck and don't let any frustrations get to you!
  • KayaSamantha
    KayaSamantha Posts: 157 Member
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    I moved in with my boyfriend in September and gained 30lbs FAST! That was on top of the 20 extra I already had. Needless to say it's been rough trying to find motivation as I also moved away form everyone who I used to work out with. I have really relied on other people on this site to motivate me as well as myself. I also do the grocery shopping now and he has to eat his "crap" food out of the house. Add me as a friend and I'll try to help keep you motivated!
  • Angeloftheshore
    Angeloftheshore Posts: 227 Member
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    My husband and I sat down and talked through it. He needed to know how important it was to me, for me and for us to make our lives healthier. He used to guzzle a couple two liters of Mt.Dew a night. He does not gain weight as easily as I do and has a much more active day to day activity. After talking it all out "we" made the changes needed for our household. I suggest sitting down and talking it all out very seriously.
  • kayemme
    kayemme Posts: 1,782 Member
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    i pretty much have to control the food portion of our relationship. i cave occasionally, but mostly i won't allow certain items in the house. if he wants something, he can have it, just not at home.

    mostly he's pretty good about it, though.

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