Depression anyone?

Francl27
Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
edited November 13 in Chit-Chat
It comes on and off for me.. Started 18 years ago. It seems that anything can set me off and I wonder if I'm bipolar sometimes... It makes friendships really difficult because I've been so hurt before and worried that people won't like me once they get to know me... (I lost all my friends when it started). Even when I get close to someone I second guess everything.

Can anyone relate? Losing weight hasn't changed anything.
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Replies

  • DeficitDuchess
    DeficitDuchess Posts: 3,099 Member
    edited October 2016
    Do you know if your depression's a chemical imbalance or via trauma? Mine's traumatic, I am struggling with premature menopause because I never had children yet & now it's unrealistic, that I'd be able to find someone (I am currently single), build a relationship with them; for approximately a couple of years at least & then still have the ability, to even try; to have any!
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
    edited October 2016
    DeficitDuchess wrote: »
    Do you know if your depression's a chemical imbalance or via trauma? Mine's traumatic, I am struggling with premature menopause because I never had children yet & now it's unrealistic, that I'd be able to find someone (I am currently single), build a relationship with them; for approximately a couple of years at least & then still have the ability, to try; to have any!

    It definitely started when I started working and life got hard.. then a divorce, losing friends, losing my father, infertility... so yeah, I don't think it has much to do with hormones (although PMS makes it worse).

    I totally understand yours though... it sucks.
  • inkedShimewaza
    inkedShimewaza Posts: 538 Member
    Hey there. Yep - I have severe chronic depression along with severe OCD. Mine is definitely a chemical imbalance. I am on medication for it and, in general, the meds make a big difference. But situational stuff definitely can send me on a downward spiral if I am not careful.
  • DeficitDuchess
    DeficitDuchess Posts: 3,099 Member
    Francl27 wrote: »
    DeficitDuchess wrote: »
    Do you know if your depression's a chemical imbalance or via trauma? Mine's traumatic, I am struggling with premature menopause because I never had children yet & now it's unrealistic, that I'd be able to find someone (I am currently single), build a relationship with them; for approximately a couple of years at least & then still have the ability, to try; to have any!

    It definitely started when I started working and life got hard.. then a divorce, losing friends, losing my father, infertility... so yeah, I don't think it has much to do with hormones (although PMS makes it worse).

    I totally understand yours though... it sucks.

    It seems you were stretching yourself, too thin; taking on too much responsibility & it became traumatically stressful. Possibly decreasing anything unnecessary & seeking help/counseling, to learn new avenues; to cope with necessary hardships!

    For me I am trying to develop, a new purpose to live; since that was my purpose!
  • DeficitDuchess
    DeficitDuchess Posts: 3,099 Member
    inkedShimewaza wrote: »
    Hey there. Yep - I have severe chronic depression along with severe OCD. Mine is definitely a chemical imbalance. I am on medication for it and, in general, the meds make a big difference. But situational stuff definitely can send me on a downward spiral if I am not careful.

    I have OCD via my handwriting, it just has to look perfectly done; if it's something I plan to keep like a label!
  • inkedShimewaza
    inkedShimewaza Posts: 538 Member
    My OCD is pretty all encompassing if I'm not medicated. It's almost impossible to function.
  • DeficitDuchess
    DeficitDuchess Posts: 3,099 Member
    inkedShimewaza wrote: »
    My OCD is pretty all encompassing if I'm not medicated. It's almost impossible to function.

    I am glad that medication, is helping you with your OCD; that's actually quite rare that it has any effect! Obviously typing/printing makes my OCD practically obsolete, otherwise I'd go through a forest; just writing a grocery list!
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
    I'm really glad I don't have OCD. I feel for you guys... Mental illnesses suck!
  • cee134
    cee134 Posts: 33,711 Member
    I know exercise can help with depression.
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
    cee134 wrote: »
    I know exercise can help with depression.

    Yeah I wonder sometimes how it would be if I didn't exercise. It probably wouldn't be pretty.

    I heard that music helps too... so maybe that's why my walks with my music are so helpful. It's when I start thinking that it can turn ugly.
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  • dc8066
    dc8066 Posts: 1,439 Member
    cee134 wrote: »
    I know exercise can help with depression.

    That, and music. Sometimes I just have to toughen up and wait 'till depression episode runs it's course. Some people take meds, I can't tolerate them because of the side effects or contraindications. It is very hard sometimes
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
    Francl27 wrote: »
    Can anyone relate? Losing weight hasn't changed anything.

    Yup. For me losing some weight was secondary to better eating and exercise, which both help me to have less issues with depression and control anxiety. The weight loss itself does help me feel more confident generally, but won't change depression. And even exercise and better eating only help control my bouts with it all. Nothing will rid you of it, which has been a challenge for me to except.

  • inkedShimewaza
    inkedShimewaza Posts: 538 Member
    DeficitDuchess wrote: »
    inkedShimewaza wrote: »
    My OCD is pretty all encompassing if I'm not medicated. It's almost impossible to function.

    I am glad that medication, is helping you with your OCD; that's actually quite rare that it has any effect! Obviously typing/printing makes my OCD practically obsolete, otherwise I'd go through a forest; just writing a grocery list!

    Yeah .. it took a while to find the right combo and, even with meds, it is a struggle. Sometimes I forget how much the meds actually do help and try going without for a spell. Always ends in disaster!
  • inkedShimewaza
    inkedShimewaza Posts: 538 Member
    Francl27 wrote: »
    I'm really glad I don't have OCD. I feel for you guys... Mental illnesses suck!

    Yup! It has almost taken everything from me on multiple occasions.
  • NorthCascades
    NorthCascades Posts: 10,968 Member
    I've struggled with depression at times. I'm doing pretty good now, but I can relate.
  • inkedShimewaza
    inkedShimewaza Posts: 538 Member
    Francl27 wrote: »
    Can anyone relate? Losing weight hasn't changed anything.

    If your depression is related to a chemical imbalance, losing weight won't help. Losing weight does help my self-esteem and there is definitely a link between my self-esteem and my depression but not a causality - if that makes any sense. For example, my depression WAS under control for a while. Then my wife informed that that she doesn't 'want' me anymore because of my weight gain. That sent my self-esteem plummeting which has triggered some issues with my depression. But my depression is not as bad as it has been in the past - thanks to my meds.

  • zcb94
    zcb94 Posts: 3,678 Member
    I've fought depression for the past three years because of a difficult physical/medical situation. The only thing that will help me is getting out of/recovering from the problem.
  • gafford101
    gafford101 Posts: 10 Member
    I can relate...i hide my depression from everyone but my spouse and even he doesnt know the full extent of it....i should win an oscar for my life performance. ...mine is triggered from my pcos, lack of energy, infertility, debt, lack of solid friends and hurtful past relationships/ trust, and not feeling like i am reaching my potential....i can't take meds bc i am trying to get pregnant despite my infertility....i try getting Excercise but my mood usually stops me from getting there. ..
  • roamingtiger
    roamingtiger Posts: 747 Member
    I have bipolar disorder, and I just wanted to say that there's a lot more to it than just being "set off"...
  • vingogly
    vingogly Posts: 1,785 Member
    edited October 2016
    Your depression sounds like it's mostly situational. Medications are a fix for the symptoms, but don't address the whatever existential issues are feeding your depression. Often there are negative beliefs and self talk that contribute (for example, you commented "when I get close to someone I second guess everything") -- and a therapist who uses a cognitive behavioral approach can be a great help in dealing with depression. He/she can help you learn techniques for dealing with it when it rears its ugly head, responding to negative self talk and replacing destructive messages you're sending yourself with more realistic ones.

    You might find support resources that are helpful on David Burns' site (his "Feeling Good" is a self help classic for dealing with depression and anxiety):

    https://feelinggood.com
  • 888Butterfly888
    888Butterfly888 Posts: 3,203 Member
    I have depression too.
  • inkedShimewaza
    inkedShimewaza Posts: 538 Member
    LiftingLady5 wrote: »
    Wrong. Burnout and depression amongst social workers is a growing problem.

    Agreed. Also, the whole notion of "helping someone who has it worse" may be applicable if a person has situational depression. For chronic depression caused by brain chemistry, it is completely unrelated and does not have much if any impact. Chronic depression has nothing to do with "having it bad" or "thinking you have it bad".
    That is a misconception/stereotype that gets me insanely angry when I hear it.

  • 888Butterfly888
    888Butterfly888 Posts: 3,203 Member
    Yes, I have heard burnout and depression amongst social workers is a growing problem.
  • dldrucker
    dldrucker Posts: 90 Member
    I struggle with depression, attributable to both genetic and environmental factors. One of the things that always gets to me is how people who have never experienced clinic depression think they know what it is about. For me, there are some physical and cognitive factors. I find it hard to move, and I can't concentrate, and I find this more difficult than just being sad. I also crave carbs, which makes sense since carbs help produce serotonin. I find music helps a great deal and, to the extent possible, doing something that keeps my mind engaged. Oddly, I get more of a lift from interacting with people I don't know or don't know well - like ordering a coffee and sitting a few minutes at a coffee shop - than being with friends when I'm depressed. Perhaps the "acting as if" helps elevate my mood, even if I'm faking it.
  • llaurenmarie
    llaurenmarie Posts: 1,260 Member
    Manic Depression/Bipolar

    I'm really not good at managing it yet but I find I have much less "swinging" when I try to manage sugars and/or stick to fruit only. Any sugar alcohols or substitutes are not my friends /: It sucks but I am happy to find some relief and know that it does help, even if I slip and binge=can almost positively recognize what triggered it.

    When Halo Top was first introduced I was ecstatic that it was so "low cal", then a month later I couldn't understand why my moods were so unpredictable/bouts of hopeless and suicidal thoughts. As soon as I stopped eating it my emotions leveled out. Whether it's correlated or not... I am just way more aware now.
  • 888Butterfly888
    888Butterfly888 Posts: 3,203 Member
    For me therapy and medication help my depression.
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