Weightloss and Co-Workers
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It is not rude for you to refuse something that you don't want and/or doesn't fit your dietary goals. It IS rude (frightfully so) for someone to continue to push it on you after you have politely declined. Stop worrying about being rude. You aren't the one being rude in this scenario. Just say no thanks, and continue saying no thanks until she gets the message.3
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kksmom1789 wrote: »I work in an office at our local city hall lately it's been extremely slow so i'm not as active moving around the office as normal I stopped walking over the summer due to the extreme heat and I have a heart condition. I have a co worker that is notorious for bringing "treats" everyday and always handing me candy and when i politely decline she says oh hush put it in your drawer for later and I usually eat it later I gained 20lbs from Jan 2015 to Oct 2015 that I know was from her treats (she started Dec 2014). I lost 25lbs though from Oct 2015 to Oct 2016 but another example is today I ate a really healthy lunch I was super proud of my calorie intake today she came back from lunch and she had to run errands on her lunch and she asked if I wanted to share a pizza I politely declined again well the pizza came and she forced a piece on me and then because i'm addicted to food I ate another piece and she only ate 1 piece and was super full. I just don't know how to deal with the constant struggle at work with "treats" I don't want to rude just want to lose this 50lbs
No one is forcing you to eat it. Take some self responsibility and just don't eat it.8 -
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If I found myself in your situation, OP, I would first try to make the hopefully well-intentioned coworker an ally by explaining to her *exactly* why I was unable to accept her food gifts. I'm not big on lying, especially in situations like this where the truth rings truer.
Then if subsequent incidents occurred, I would immediately say, "No thank you" before I could even consider (and drool over) whatever she was offering next.
Then based on the continuing circumstances (because if it *does* continue, I would definitely start to question her intent) I would have no issue escalating my polite responses all the way up to the point of "What part of 'No, thank you' are you having a difficult time understanding?"
You should never permit (or blame) anyone else for what you choose to consume.3 -
There are always chocolates and biscuits and cakes etc that people bring in at my workplace.
I've been countering and having my own alternate snacks so when it's, 'go on have a piece of cake', I can say, 'oh no thanks, I have fresh blueberries and almonds instead'.2 -
AS someone who hates to throw away food, just tell her how serious you are about taking care of your health. If that doesnt work, and she's not considering your feelings, just put the pizza in the fridge with a note that says, "up for grabs!" Or if there there happens to be homeless people nearby, give the food to them.
I did this a while back. I was having lunch at McAlister's Deli and they brought me a big piece of cheesecake that I didn't order and was not going to eat. I didn't want to waste it though so I got a to go container and took it with the intention of giving it away. When I pulled out, there was a guy on the corner with a sign saying he was looking for work so I gave him gave him the cheesecake and wished him luck.5 -
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kksmom1789 wrote: »Thank you again! my co worker and I have also said sometimes it does feel like she is trying to sabotage this whole weight loss thing i'm trying to do. this just happened a minute ago she ordered that frozen cookie dough from a fundraiser for another co worker in another department and she gave me half of the cookie dough and was like I know how much you like cookie dough I did take it and said my kids would love the cookies tonight during our family movie. she is really active a 4 time black belt and teaches a karate school with her husband 2x a week
I'm curious if you had some of the cookies...0 -
Several of my neighbors often get together and we would drink wine and just munch. We were doing this about 1x a month. I finally said..I can't come I can't eat.. they reply was well only have a little. I stopped going as I know I can't have a little and if I do just have a little I'll come home and have a lot. So for me its just say no thank you I am dieting, and sadly probably for the rest of my life. Meaning I am eating healthy now and trying to live longer.2
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Several of my neighbors often get together and we would drink wine and just munch. We were doing this about 1x a month. I finally said..I can't come I can't eat.. they reply was well only have a little. I stopped going as I know I can't have a little and if I do just have a little I'll come home and have a lot. So for me its just say no thank you I am dieting, and sadly probably for the rest of my life. Meaning I am eating healthy now and trying to live longer.
I hope moderation is a skill you will be able to utilize at some point, because food is everywhere and feeling like you have no option other than to cut yourself off from social situations for the rest of your life is so very sad.
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Right?? Oh my god whykschwab0203 wrote: »It seems it it someone's birthday in my office at least once a week...so that means cake.
Why must they celebrate and bring goodies Q_Q I don't want them up in my face!! I'm a hoarder and I can't help myself. It's hard because I'm an active secretary and I see them multiple times walking by. And each time I steal something. The hoarding must end! Ugh.
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kksmom1789 wrote: »Thank you again! my co worker and I have also said sometimes it does feel like she is trying to sabotage this whole weight loss thing i'm trying to do. this just happened a minute ago she ordered that frozen cookie dough from a fundraiser for another co worker in another department and she gave me half of the cookie dough and was like I know how much you like cookie dough I did take it and said my kids would love the cookies tonight during our family movie. she is really active a 4 time black belt and teaches a karate school with her husband 2x a week
You need to stop accepting food from her. Every time you accept you send a message that it is really okay to keep doing this even if you decline at first. If it is a problem for you to have these foods then you need to be very clear about no more food and say no every single time. It doesn't matter how fit she is or if you like cookie dough. If you say no that needs to be respected the first time.
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kksmom1789 wrote: »Thank you again! my co worker and I have also said sometimes it does feel like she is trying to sabotage this whole weight loss thing i'm trying to do. this just happened a minute ago she ordered that frozen cookie dough from a fundraiser for another co worker in another department and she gave me half of the cookie dough and was like I know how much you like cookie dough I did take it and said my kids would love the cookies tonight during our family movie. she is really active a 4 time black belt and teaches a karate school with her husband 2x a week
You need to stop accepting food from her. Every time you accept you send a message that it is really okay to keep doing this even if you decline at first. If it is a problem for you to have these foods then you need to be very clear about no more food and say no every single time. It doesn't matter how fit she is or if you like cookie dough. If you say no that needs to be respected the first time.
Exactly! It's like a toddler asking for a treat at the check out counter. If you say no and then they pitch a fit and you give in, guess what? They're going to try that much harder next time because they have learned that "no" just means "push harder". OP - you need to be firm. Polite, but firm. Keep saying no thanks until she backs off. Get up and leave the room if need be. But don't give in after saying no and then wonder why she pushes harder the next time you say no. History has taught her than she just has to keep asking and eventually you'll cave.
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I will definitely try harder on letting her know about my goals our office only consists of 5 people and we are all very close and tight it's really more like a family so she definitely knows about my goals and restrictions she just thinks I'm too hard on myself
I accepted the cookie dough because my kids would love cookies I'm not going to restrict them and I did eat 3 but I logged them in so don't worry
Thank you for the advice I will definitely keep letting her know to the point where I'm annoying2 -
kksmom1789 wrote: »I will definitely try harder on letting her know about my goals our office only consists of 5 people and we are all very close and tight it's really more like a family so she definitely knows about my goals and restrictions she just thinks I'm too hard on myself
I accepted the cookie dough because my kids would love cookies I'm not going to restrict them and I did eat 3 but I logged them in so don't worry
Thank you for the advice I will definitely keep letting her know to the point where I'm annoying
You are setting your self up for failure. Tell them.
Best of luck1 -
You won't lose the pounds until you lose the victim mentality.
If she insists after you've politely said no thanks, she is being rude.
If the physically puts it into your hands or on yor desk, throw it in the trash at once. Yes, while she can see it.7 -
I read a post from a man who sat his family down and told them that he wanted support during his weight loss efforts and to please not try to tempt him with food and going off his plan.
I've responded to many posts like yours..saying to throw the food away..
But.. being direct..up front.. they have no choice but to respect your direct and sincere request.2 -
Say no and stop accepting the food. This may be harsh but take some personal responsibility. No one is forcing food down your throat. You're choosing to eat the food instead of declining.1
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One thought I had is that you aren't consistent in saying no. If you say no but then say yes, she doesn't have any reason to believe you mean it. So be consistent, no means no.1
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I think I'm just more sneaky and maybe less guilty about wasting food. I'll sometimes accept a little sliver of cake at work birthday morning tea and say I'll have it later then simply throw it away. I even gone as far as to comment afterwards how tasty it was! If this colleague kept forcing food on me and wouldn't take no thank you for an answer I would have no worries about binning it. One of the things I decided in my weight loss journey was not to eat anything I did not want to and not to eat anything that wasn't absolutely tasty as it could be2
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