Depression anyone?
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888Butterfly888 wrote: »For me therapy and medication help my depression.
I'd get lost in my own head without medication. My anxiety fuels my depression so bad. So I've been on Zoloft for as long as I can remember. And I still struggle a lot at times.0 -
888Butterfly888 wrote: »For me therapy and medication help my depression.
I'd get lost in my own head without medication.
Me too.
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Cutaway_Collar wrote: »You never see social workers and public activists being depressed or burnt out.
As a person that manages a team of 25 people that work with highly marginalized folks and many of them themselves Licensed Clinical Social Workers...nothing could be further from the truth.1 -
and I too, suffer from depression. Had a pretty significant breakdown in Summer of 2015. Doing better now. Its genetic in my family. My late mother suffered from it. I used to see someone but now I try to rely on diet and exercise and less alcohol and being mindful about certain things that could trigger me.1
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It comes on and off for me.. Started 18 years ago. It seems that anything can set me off and I wonder if I'm bipolar sometimes... It makes friendships really difficult because I've been so hurt before and worried that people won't like me once they get to know me... (I lost all my friends when it started). Even when I get close to someone I second guess everything.
Can anyone relate? Losing weight hasn't changed anything.
I can relate to you if you wanna talk pm me0 -
ridebikes_drinkbeer wrote: »and I too, suffer from depression. Had a pretty significant breakdown in Summer of 2015. Doing better now. Its genetic in my family. My late mother suffered from it. I used to see someone but now I try to rely on diet and exercise and less alcohol and being mindful about certain things that could trigger me.
Hey, sorry about your mom....Good 2 know things are better for you!
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It comes on and off for me.. Started 18 years ago. It seems that anything can set me off and I wonder if I'm bipolar sometimes... It makes friendships really difficult because I've been so hurt before and worried that people won't like me once they get to know me... (I lost all my friends when it started). Even when I get close to someone I second guess everything.
Can anyone relate? Losing weight hasn't changed anything.
with a side of french fries, please.
but on a serious note, most likely. I also wonder if i'm bi-polar lol but every time i bring it up at the doctor's office it just gets pushed to the wayside, like it's non-existent. It's also usually because I try to bring it up when I'm sitting in the doctor's office for a different reason, like migraine's lol I probably should be on meds. For real. hah. In the meantime, the past week has been one of the most difficult for me in a long time. Monday was the hardest. I did not want to get out of bed. I was in tears, i felt like everything was wrong. I just wanted to sleep. I dragged myself out of bed and to the gym. Of course, in tears the whole way even though I tried to pep talk myself and stop, I just couldn't. Not till I got there, cried for 15 minutes in the bathroom, sucked it up and told myself, "you're here. Get it done." I did cardio lol but it helped. A lot. I haven't had a day like that in a while. I can almost always feel a spiral coming on and what really sucks is that I can't do a damn thing about it and no one around me sees it, they just think i'm mood af when it happens. lol1 -
I hope you all are having an amazing weekend. Head up. We got this.1
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888Butterfly888 wrote: »For me therapy and medication help my depression.
I'd get lost in my own head without medication. My anxiety fuels my depression so bad. So I've been on Zoloft for as long as I can remember. And I still struggle a lot at times.
@TeachingT - I have had to change medications/levels several times. Right now I'm on a Zoloft/Welbutrin combo. For me, it seems like I need one med for the OCD and another for the depression. I know the two are completely unrelated, but it is always so startling for me to find out someone so beautiful like you suffers from depression/anxiety. Again, I totally know they are not related in any way. I guess it's just a sobering reminder that the source clinical depression is in the brain chemistry and can hit ANYONE.1 -
@inkedShimewaza how is the combo working out? I've only ever been on Zoloft. It's helped more than I could ever have imagined. You are too kind, thank you for the beautiful compliment.0
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I has made a big difference for me. To be honest, I generally feel like I am walking a tightrope with depression on one side and OCD on the other. Usually when I have one under control, the other starts getting out of control. The combo at least makes it manageable. I still have to be really careful about watching out for when I get into a downward spiral, but at least when I am on meds, I can identify it and get myself out of it. Ugh ... am I contradicting myself? I guess I am trying to say that it does help - actually alot - but it is still a struggle. If I hadn't gotten the combo/levels correct when I did, I wouldn't be here anymore. So, I guess that says something! LOL
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Yes. I've had depression since age 11. At the moment, I feel as if I have to be hospitalized for this, but there's no way I can do it because who will take care of the bills... There's just no winning.0
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drivennightrunner87 wrote: »i do think the right med(s)--or even (short to long-term) professional counseling--can help many too, especially if they're struggling with their weight/don't have a good relationship with food, lack of motivation...
True. As long as it is seen as a short term plan, except in some chronic cases. I did counseling, which helped.
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@Sinistrous - At one point my doctor wanted to hospitalize me too, but like with you - life made it not an option. Are you on any meds? If not, it sounds like you need to get a good doctor and work on finding something that works for you. Feel free to PM me if you ever need to talk!
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My anxiety and depression derive from trauma but there are a lot of good things being echoed here. Usually when I'm dealing with depression, I find that exercise is something I am unable to do with much effort or consistency. If you are able to keep active, whether it is just the simplest of tasks (going on a walk, taking a shower, house chores, reading, whatever gets you moving/focused, etc) you are battling and taking the fight to the depression!
Nobody is alone in this and although the light at the end of the tunnel isn't always visible, it is achievable and you can get better. You will get better if you keep fighting, taking a stand against depression1 -
Sinistrous wrote: »Yes. I've had depression since age 11. At the moment, I feel as if I have to be hospitalized for this, but there's no way I can do it because who will take care of the bills... There's just no winning.
Well best wishes.0 -
Me.
Hindsight is clear sight, so knowing what I know now leads me to believe that I have suffered with depression pretty much all my life. I also struggle with crippling anxiety and PTSD the latter due to an abusive childhood.
After my Dad passed away I spent time in Psych wards and those experiences pushed me close to suicide...I 'lost' 7 years of my life to being over medicated and having ECT. It was a harrowing time for everyone.
I too have lost 'friends'....illness particularly mental illness makes people antsy and often run a mile. Others have had the audacity to say things like - "There are others worse off than you." Or "If only you got out and did XYZ you would feel better." "It's all in your head." "Depressed? Oh! I know what you mean, I feel like that too." All of these trite comments served only to make me feel even worse and more isolated and hurt.
Somehow I got the strength to seek counseling and worked very hard at coming to a place of 'peace' over the past and for a long time the depression/anxiety did lift to a place where I was med. free. I used other strategies and tools...some more successful than others but truly it was always a fight between me and the black dog.
I have only recently gone back onto medication...I was utterly exhausted and have not been coping. Also, having Lupus, RSD and a myriad of really difficult chronic health issues, have done a real number on my physical health and have also affected my mind. Makes no difference whether I am having a 'good' day or not the war in my head is always there.0 -
Situational depression is very real. I had it 10 years ago and sought CBT for it and it definitely helped. I changed to a plant based diet five months ago and I rarely get depression now, also exercise really does help to manage stress levels that are sometimes brought on by situations in life.0
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inkedShimewaza wrote: »I has made a big difference for me. To be honest, I generally feel like I am walking a tightrope with depression on one side and OCD on the other. Usually when I have one under control, the other starts getting out of control. The combo at least makes it manageable. I still have to be really careful about watching out for when I get into a downward spiral, but at least when I am on meds, I can identify it and get myself out of it. Ugh ... am I contradicting myself? I guess I am trying to say that it does help - actually alot - but it is still a struggle. If I hadn't gotten the combo/levels correct when I did, I wouldn't be here anymore. So, I guess that says something! LOL
Well I am glad you got help. Depression is a scary and lonely place.0 -
HippySkoppy wrote: »Me.
Hindsight is clear sight, so knowing what I know now leads me to believe that I have suffered with depression pretty much all my life. I also struggle with crippling anxiety and PTSD the latter due to an abusive childhood.
After my Dad passed away I spent time in Psych wards and those experiences pushed me close to suicide...I 'lost' 7 years of my life to being over medicated and having ECT. It was a harrowing time for everyone.
I too have lost 'friends'....illness particularly mental illness makes people antsy and often run a mile. Others have had the audacity to say things like - "There are others worse off than you." Or "If only you got out and did XYZ you would feel better." "It's all in your head." "Depressed? Oh! I know what you mean, I feel like that too." All of these trite comments served only to make me feel even worse and more isolated and hurt.
Somehow I got the strength to seek counseling and worked very hard at coming to a place of 'peace' over the past and for a long time the depression/anxiety did lift to a place where I was med. free. I used other strategies and tools...some more successful than others but truly it was always a fight between me and the black dog.
I have only recently gone back onto medication...I was utterly exhausted and have not been coping. Also, having Lupus, RSD and a myriad of really difficult chronic health issues, have done a real number on my physical health and have also affected my mind. Makes no difference whether I am having a 'good' day or not the war in my head is always there.
That sounds awful. Don't even get me started on 'some people have it worse off' or 'happiness is a choice'. Heck I took the kids to see Trolls this week end and I just wanted to punch something.
The sad thing about friends I think is that the only people who really get it are often depressed too... and it can make for some rocky friendships!3 -
I HATE when People say "Happiness is a choice" etc. Wish it was that easy. Don't know that I will ever be truly happy, depression is always an obstacle.2
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I'm coming to terms with the idea of going back into therapy and possibly back on meds. I hate both of those things very, very much, but I'm also barely functioning these days. I've been in a downward spiral for the past couple of months. I can't focus on work. I cry a lot. Husband sat me down the other night and told me he sees that look in my eyes like I just want to not be here anymore, and he worries he's going to walk in and find me dead one day. I couldn't reassure him or tell him he was wrong.
It's been a hard year starting with the deaths of some family members, and in the past couple of months a lot of ugly things that I had pushed deep down inside were dragged back up. I'm exhausted and out of ways to cope. I just spent a weekend with a friend who started teaching at a new school this year, and it's been utterly miserable for her. She kept telling me the whole weekend how perfect my life was and how I had all these things she doesn't have (stable job I don't hate! substantial income! close friends I see regularly! completely amazing husband!), and she's right, and it just makes me feel even worse that I'm such a miserable mess.
I feel selfish and pathetic posting this when others in this thread are clearly going through so much more. But maybe by admitting all this somewhere so public, I'll start taking some steps to take care of myself.3 -
NO NO NO!!!! Don't feel that way! Well ... I can't tell you how to feel, but you get the idea. First, this community and specifically this thread is a support environment. We are all fighting our own battles and we are all supporting each other. So there is no need to feel bad about sharing and there is certainly no use in trivializing your own battle. There is no "I/he/she/they have it worse". Depression is not always a matter of "having it bad" or going through a bad situation. Certainly that can be related when you are talking about situational depression. But when it comes to chronic/clinical depression, not so much. In fact, trying to analyze it like that can make matters worse. Before I really understood chronic depression, I would think to myself "what the f@#$ is wrong with you? You have a good life." Of course, that would make me feel even worse - more worthless and more pathetic. It becomes a vicious cycle.chocolate_owl wrote: »I feel selfish and pathetic posting this when others in this thread are clearly going through so much more.
I'm not a doctor and obviously can't tell you that you need medication. But you definitely sound like you need to see a therapist who can help you figure out the best next steps. You are worth it. Make the investment in yourself!
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chocolate_owl wrote: »She kept telling me the whole weekend how perfect my life was and how I had all these things she doesn't have
yeah no; *kitten* that. it's not about you-versus-her, it's about you and your own life. that wasn't nice of her, it was just selfish and narrow.The sad thing about friends I think is that the only people who really get it are often depressed too... and it can make for some rocky friendships!
heh. i almost saw this and thought 'wanna be friends?'
because you get it.
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chocolate_owl wrote: »I'm coming to terms with the idea of going back into therapy and possibly back on meds. I hate both of those things very, very much, but I'm also barely functioning these days. I've been in a downward spiral for the past couple of months. I can't focus on work. I cry a lot. Husband sat me down the other night and told me he sees that look in my eyes like I just want to not be here anymore, and he worries he's going to walk in and find me dead one day. I couldn't reassure him or tell him he was wrong.
It's been a hard year starting with the deaths of some family members, and in the past couple of months a lot of ugly things that I had pushed deep down inside were dragged back up. I'm exhausted and out of ways to cope. I just spent a weekend with a friend who started teaching at a new school this year, and it's been utterly miserable for her. She kept telling me the whole weekend how perfect my life was and how I had all these things she doesn't have (stable job I don't hate! substantial income! close friends I see regularly! completely amazing husband!), and she's right, and it just makes me feel even worse that I'm such a miserable mess.
I feel selfish and pathetic posting this when others in this thread are clearly going through so much more. But maybe by admitting all this somewhere so public, I'll start taking some steps to take care of myself.
I feel the same way. I have good friends now, my husband loves me, we don't have many money problems and I'm a SAHM with two kids in school, which means that I have a lot of free time - I have it SO MUCH BETTER than probably 95% of the people out there. But I'm still not happy. I still feel worthless most of the time. I mean, I had no friends at all for years and met those amazing people 5 months ago, which I care about so much... but it also made me realize that having friends really didn't fix much of anything... I mean, it's not high school anymore and I can't bother them 10x a day every time I feel down, you know?
So I'm thinking that it's my marriage now... If I could afford it, I'd probably end up moving out and try to live on my own for a while... but I'm not sure it would help either? Maybe I'm just too needy and this is why I'll never be happy, because I'll never get what I need? Who knows.
Still need to find couple therapy for me and my husband though...0 -
Your depression sounds like it's mostly situational. Medications are a fix for the symptoms, but don't address the whatever existential issues are feeding your depression. Often there are negative beliefs and self talk that contribute (for example, you commented "when I get close to someone I second guess everything") -- and a therapist who uses a cognitive behavioral approach can be a great help in dealing with depression. He/she can help you learn techniques for dealing with it when it rears its ugly head, responding to negative self talk and replacing destructive messages you're sending yourself with more realistic ones.
You might find support resources that are helpful on David Burns' site (his "Feeling Good" is a self help classic for dealing with depression and anxiety):
https://feelinggood.com
Agree with this whole heartedly! I suffer from depression, and have been seeing a behavioral therapist, and it has done wonders! I have been given a whole new set of tools to utilize! I would strongly suggest finding one you like, oh, and google "thinking errors"0 -
chocolate_owl wrote: »I'm coming to terms with the idea of going back into therapy and possibly back on meds. I hate both of those things very, very much, but I'm also barely functioning these days. I've been in a downward spiral for the past couple of months. I can't focus on work. I cry a lot. Husband sat me down the other night and told me he sees that look in my eyes like I just want to not be here anymore, and he worries he's going to walk in and find me dead one day. I couldn't reassure him or tell him he was wrong.
It's been a hard year starting with the deaths of some family members, and in the past couple of months a lot of ugly things that I had pushed deep down inside were dragged back up. I'm exhausted and out of ways to cope. I just spent a weekend with a friend who started teaching at a new school this year, and it's been utterly miserable for her. She kept telling me the whole weekend how perfect my life was and how I had all these things she doesn't have (stable job I don't hate! substantial income! close friends I see regularly! completely amazing husband!), and she's right, and it just makes me feel even worse that I'm such a miserable mess.
I feel selfish and pathetic posting this when others in this thread are clearly going through so much more. But maybe by admitting all this somewhere so public, I'll start taking some steps to take care of myself.
I feel the same way. I have good friends now, my husband loves me, we don't have many money problems and I'm a SAHM with two kids in school, which means that I have a lot of free time - I have it SO MUCH BETTER than probably 95% of the people out there. But I'm still not happy. I still feel worthless most of the time. I mean, I had no friends at all for years and met those amazing people 5 months ago, which I care about so much... but it also made me realize that having friends really didn't fix much of anything... I mean, it's not high school anymore and I can't bother them 10x a day every time I feel down, you know?
So I'm thinking that it's my marriage now... If I could afford it, I'd probably end up moving out and try to live on my own for a while... but I'm not sure it would help either? Maybe I'm just too needy and this is why I'll never be happy, because I'll never get what I need? Who knows.
Still need to find couple therapy for me and my husband though...
I so get this! Is it that there is something wrong with the marriage or are you just trying to find the source of your unhappiness?0 -
inkedShimewaza wrote: »
NO NO NO!!!! Don't feel that way! Well ... I can't tell you how to feel, but you get the idea. First, this community and specifically this thread is a support environment. We are all fighting our own battles and we are all supporting each other. So there is no need to feel bad about sharing and there is certainly no use in trivializing your own battle. There is no "I/he/she/they have it worse". Depression is not always a matter of "having it bad" or going through a bad situation. Certainly that can be related when you are talking about situational depression. But when it comes to chronic/clinical depression, not so much. In fact, trying to analyze it like that can make matters worse. Before I really understood chronic depression, I would think to myself "what the f@#$ is wrong with you? You have a good life." Of course, that would make me feel even worse - more worthless and more pathetic. It becomes a vicious cycle.chocolate_owl wrote: »I feel selfish and pathetic posting this when others in this thread are clearly going through so much more.
I'm not a doctor and obviously can't tell you that you need medication. But you definitely sound like you need to see a therapist who can help you figure out the best next steps. You are worth it. Make the investment in yourself!canadianlbs wrote: »chocolate_owl wrote: »She kept telling me the whole weekend how perfect my life was and how I had all these things she doesn't have
yeah no; *kitten* that. it's not about you-versus-her, it's about you and your own life. that wasn't nice of her, it was just selfish and narrow.
Thank you both... I know the bolded, or used to know it at least. I suppose this mindset has always been my struggle, and perhaps my choice of self-flagellation.chocolate_owl wrote: »I'm coming to terms with the idea of going back into therapy and possibly back on meds. I hate both of those things very, very much, but I'm also barely functioning these days. I've been in a downward spiral for the past couple of months. I can't focus on work. I cry a lot. Husband sat me down the other night and told me he sees that look in my eyes like I just want to not be here anymore, and he worries he's going to walk in and find me dead one day. I couldn't reassure him or tell him he was wrong.
It's been a hard year starting with the deaths of some family members, and in the past couple of months a lot of ugly things that I had pushed deep down inside were dragged back up. I'm exhausted and out of ways to cope. I just spent a weekend with a friend who started teaching at a new school this year, and it's been utterly miserable for her. She kept telling me the whole weekend how perfect my life was and how I had all these things she doesn't have (stable job I don't hate! substantial income! close friends I see regularly! completely amazing husband!), and she's right, and it just makes me feel even worse that I'm such a miserable mess.
I feel selfish and pathetic posting this when others in this thread are clearly going through so much more. But maybe by admitting all this somewhere so public, I'll start taking some steps to take care of myself.
I feel the same way. I have good friends now, my husband loves me, we don't have many money problems and I'm a SAHM with two kids in school, which means that I have a lot of free time - I have it SO MUCH BETTER than probably 95% of the people out there. But I'm still not happy. I still feel worthless most of the time. I mean, I had no friends at all for years and met those amazing people 5 months ago, which I care about so much... but it also made me realize that having friends really didn't fix much of anything... I mean, it's not high school anymore and I can't bother them 10x a day every time I feel down, you know?
So I'm thinking that it's my marriage now... If I could afford it, I'd probably end up moving out and try to live on my own for a while... but I'm not sure it would help either? Maybe I'm just too needy and this is why I'll never be happy, because I'll never get what I need? Who knows.
Still need to find couple therapy for me and my husband though...
From my own experience, there has been no external factor that has made me happy. When I was in a bad relationship, I blamed that relationship. Then I got in a good relationship, and I still had a lot of downs that I blamed on friends, family, switching birth control (I still think this one is legit, 2 weeks until I can *finally* get in to see my gyno). A good relationship hasn't cured me or stopped other crappy things from happening. It makes things easier than they would be otherwise for sure, but no one person or circumstance can cause this or make it go away.
I don't think viewing yourself as "needy" is the right way to think about it. Your needs will never be met if you expect other people to fill all your voids. Getting to a place where you find worth in yourself might, though..? It's good you're looking into therapy for you and your husband, but are you doing anything just for you?0 -
Hi. I have severe depression and anxiety. Social anxiety to be exact. After I lost 60 pounds I got more confident but after I've started to eat more junk food again I got back in a depressed state. It is important to get the right endorphins to your brain0
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chocolate_owl wrote: »[Thank you both... I know the bolded, or used to know it at least. I suppose this mindset has always been my struggle, and perhaps my choice of self-flagellation.
i think the selfishness hurts. even if you don't internalize what they're laying on you, you still come home with the knowledge you just spent all this time in the presence of a person who takes that competitive mindset instead of the 'trying to get where you're coming from' one.0
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