We broke up because...
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She took my requests too literal. When I asked her to hit me she socked me in the jaw! We were playing Blackjack for goodness sake!0
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She wouldn't say anything0
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Talked to much0
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she took a vow celibacy0
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Lol She never really tried to know me0
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I always thought we were racing.0
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she wanted me to dress like peter pan0
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she would never let me try on the wings0
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Had an affair with my lover behind my back?1
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she was always licking that damn lolypop0
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He's a diabetic and he had a problem with it0
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she hid my insulin from me
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He didn't follow his specific eating program either0
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Caught her looking in the neighbors window - frequently0
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Went to the islands for a "business trip" without me0
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was jealous he wasn't cc'd on those nudes!1
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He totally overreacted and broke up with me when I borrowed his phone to leave him a little something something that may or may not have accidentally been sent to his entire contact list.
Whoops! She broke up with me because I have serious bad computer lag time.1 -
Her HooHa was all over our Friend's Chat pages!
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Kept trying to handcuff me. Couldn't keep her work out of the bedroom.0
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delusional!0
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she would never say spoiler alert0
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She was so spoiled0
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