My husband is losing weight faster than me - I feel like giving up :(
mrsshanatimmer5360
Posts: 6 Member
What do you do when your partner is out shining you in a journey the two of you started together ?
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Replies
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Remember that men ALWAYS lose faster and stop comparing. What's giving up going to prove?14
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Don't be silly, never give up.
And be happy for him! 4 -
Have you the same amount to lose?
Have you the same muscle mass, activity levels, exercise regime and calorie allowances?
Have you the same hormonal shifts?
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Give him a high five!9
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By the way, I totally get your frustration. My husband isn't even trying to lose weight and has dropped 16lbs and is now in the healthy BMI range, just because I changed up what we eat at dinners, and got a dog. I've been fluctuating up and down like mad and he's been dropping 1.5lbs a week like clockwork. It's maddening in a way, but what's the alternative?8
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It isn't a competition.
You do realise that due to the male physical makeup ie typically more muscular, that males have a higher metabolism and generally do lose weight at a higher rate than females?2 -
Be happy for him. The next time you "outshine" him in something, I hope you'll get the same treatment.4
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Men do lose quicker, they have more muscle mass. Don't give up on his account, you do YOU! it might take you longer but the perseverance will be worth it 4
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There are a vast number of variables that could be at play here,. The biggest is that men lose weight faster/more consistently than women.
Remember that weight loss is done for YOU and not for anyone else or as a challenge.3 -
comparison is the thief of joy...25
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All of what everyone here said. Enjoy the journey together, celebrate the triumphs together and support each other through the lows together. You can do this.2
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15 -
I find it frustrating too. However, I use him getting into shape as motivation to work harder. I don't wanna be the frumpy gf.1
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In September, my hubby started day shift, for the first time in our 23 years together. Since then, he has lost five pounds, as he doesn't go to fast food restaurants anymore.
I have gained back five of the 80 I had lost, because I'm now making huge meals every night, instead of only on the weekends. The struggle is real, folks!
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Stop comparing and focus on yourself.
You are never going to lose at exactly the same rate as someone else especially someone of a different age, weight, height, gender and activity level. The point is to do your best to get to your goal.
My dh lost more and faster than me. I just sigh and go back to concentrating on me. I've made good progress.0 -
mrsshanatimmer5360 wrote: »What do you do when your partner is out shining you in a journey the two of you started together ?
What type of medication do you take compared to him?0 -
Men lose faster because they are larger, have different fat storage genetics, and different hormones (that testosterone helps a lot).
Just be happy for him and try not to compare. You will get there, it just takes longer for us ladies. 2 -
DONT DONT DONT GIVE UP!!
Everyone's journey is different, and often men are able to lose quicker for a variety of reasons. Focus on you and only you. There are so many of us in your shoes but to stop because someone else is losing faster is not the answer. Every. little. drop. is. weight. loss. and. SUCCESS! You got this pal, please don't give up.2 -
Don't give up! It's hard to see someone else (apparently) putting in the same work and getting more for it, in any context, but that's life and comparing yourself to other people is a recipe for misery. Stay focused on yourself and your goals, keep working at it, and celebrate your progress AND your husband's at whatever pace it comes. Remember, it's not a race, it's a shared journey.
People are apparently pretty poor at estimating how much they are eating. If you aren't seeing the progress you expect, you might try more carefully logging your food, including weighing everything.3 -
Also make sure you're doing all the right things- caloric deficit, eating enough protein and fiber, exercise - especially weight lifting... besides the size, hormones & genetics advantages men have, they tend to naturally gravitate towards diets and behaviors that cause quicker and better results...
When men try to lose weight they tend to drop the high calorie carbs and fatty snacks and increase their protein, and they go to the gym to hit those weights. This is what you should do too. But for some reason women tend to reduce their protein because they think of it as heavy or fatty, and do a bunch of cardio because they think it burns more calories- technically it does during the actual exercise, but lifting weights and strength exercises have an overall better effect due to after burn and preservation of lean mass and metabolism. So if you want to lose weight eat and workout like a typical guy
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Work out harder and tighten up your Calories In vs Calories Out.
How often are you exercising? For how long? What kind of exercise?
If you can follow a TV program or read a magazine then you are not "exercising" hard enough.
If you don't need to stop & catch your breath and let your heart rate slow periodically then you are not "exercising" hard enough.
Cleaning the house or playing with the kids/pets does not count as exercise.
Do you even know what your BMR, TDEE or body fat percentage is?
What are you doing now for diet? What is your deficit at in MFP? What are your macros?
40% carbs, 40% protein and 20% fat is a decent place to start.
I'll bet you are not getting even 0.8 grams of protein per pound of body weight now, which is the minimum I would target.
Track everything more carefully. How long have you been at it?
You should not expect any real results for 3 to 4 weeks after you make a change.
Use the MFP app and open it up if you want help with your diet.
Move to a weight training workout with HIIT cardio on the off days.
StrongLifts5x5 or Thinner Leaner Stronger is a decent place to start.
No, lifting weights will not make you "bulky". Don't start with that BS as an excuse for not doing the work.
Stop comparing yourself to him and using it as an excuse to feel sorry for yourself.
How about feeling proud of him for what he has accomplished instead?
Use your spouse as an inspiration for improving yourself and working harder.
Obligatory:
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Stop with the comparisons...especially comparisons with the opposite sex. Men tend to lose weight faster and in a more linear fashion than women...we have higher calorie requirements and thus we can eat more and still lose weight and/or maintain larger deficits due to higher requirements...also, men don't have the hormonal fluctuations like women which leads to greater fluctuations from water retention/release...
Stop comparing yourself to a man...2 -
JustMissTracy wrote: »In September, my hubby started day shift, for the first time in our 23 years together. Since then, he has lost five pounds, as he doesn't go to fast food restaurants anymore.
I have gained back five of the 80 I had lost, because I'm now making huge meals every night, instead of only on the weekends. The struggle is real, folks!
What question is this an answer to? lol
This was not an answer per se. I was sharing. I was letting her know that I deal with a similar situation, where he's losing and I'm suddenly gaining. Not that complicated. Why do you ask?2 -
I like to reverse things, and then see how I would feel. If you were losing faster than him, how would he treat you and better still, how would you expect to be treated and how would you treat him if you were 'winning'?
Celebrate both of your accomplishments and leave no space for negative thinking. He is your partner for life, respect that and enjoy this journey together.0 -
Please be THRILLED that your husband is losing weight! It's awesome that you can do this together and you have a partner for this journey. My hubby is great, but many ladies here would LOVE for their hubby to lose weight with them. Slap yourself in the head and knock some good sense into it, girl! (meant to be postive & fun comment)1
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cwolfman13 wrote: »Stop with the comparisons...especially comparisons with the opposite sex. Men tend to lose weight faster and in a more linear fashion than women...we have higher calorie requirements and thus we can eat more and still lose weight and/or maintain larger deficits due to higher requirements...also, men don't have the hormonal fluctuations like women which leads to greater fluctuations from water retention/release...
Stop comparing yourself to a man...
Were you trying to make the OP's point? 0 -
JustMissTracy wrote: »JustMissTracy wrote: »In September, my hubby started day shift, for the first time in our 23 years together. Since then, he has lost five pounds, as he doesn't go to fast food restaurants anymore.
I have gained back five of the 80 I had lost, because I'm now making huge meals every night, instead of only on the weekends. The struggle is real, folks!
What question is this an answer to? lol
This was not an answer per se. I was sharing. I was letting her know that I deal with a similar situation, where he's losing and I'm suddenly gaining. Not that complicated. Why do you ask?
Cos it didnt answer the OPs question. Struck me funny
I think you just like to be difficult, judging by this and other comments made by you on many threads.3
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