i feel fat and ugly
PeachesNcreamgal
Posts: 357 Member
I am crushing on this really hot dude who coaches kids in the park where I run but he will never look my way coz hes a handsome hunk with a great personality and I'm a fat rhino. Sure he could be a dullard but boy is he hot and why would he want a fatso like me. I am feeling really depressed and losing my motivation to workout because whats the point? Just wanted to rant a bit and get it off my chest. Thanks!
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Replies
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well if you don't have a reason to do it, no one else can make you...
regardless of your weight, i think you need to work on your self esteem, and realise that being thin doesn't automatically make life perfect and amazing and always sunshine and rainbows...6 -
True I agree with you. I was thin till 20 and suicidal as *kitten*.0
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a crushed a dude for a long time. He dated a super skinny girl while I was fat. I lost 100 pounds, he broke up with the skinny girl and is dating a heavier gal. /shrug. its not what I am on the outside.
btw, i did not lose the weight FOR him, its just coincidence. We are super good friends and I just find the whole thing humorous and ironic.4 -
Is that you in your profile photo? Is it current?1
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Are you kidding me? @singingflutelady. That is a Bollywood actress. I admire her body I want to look like that
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Sorry I am not familiar with Bollywood actresses so I didn't recognize her.2
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Would you really want to be with someone who only noticed you once you lost the weight anyways? I personally would not.8
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Of course you're not! If I looked that way I wouldn't be here lol1
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PeachesNcreamgal wrote: »Of course you're not! If I looked that way I wouldn't be here lol
well that's a sweeping generalisation.. there are people here for many reasons, both lean and overweight.1 -
PeachesNcreamgal wrote: »I am crushing on this really hot dude who coaches kids in the park where I run but he will never look my way coz hes a handsome hunk with a great personality and I'm a fat rhino. Sure he could be a dullard but boy is he hot and why would he want a fatso like me. I am feeling really depressed and losing my motivation to workout because whats the point? Just wanted to rant a bit and get it off my chest. Thanks!
Adopt the position of positive thinking.
Maybe he's looking for someone who's positive and fun loving?
Believe it or not, you can't read his mind and maybe he's not as superficial as you assume.3 -
The real issue besides low self esteem is that my fatness is making me jealous, bitchy and insecure!! And all for a silly good looking guy. I cant concentrate on my workout! Actually I can't concentrate on anything!1
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TavistockToad wrote: »PeachesNcreamgal wrote: »Of course you're not! If I looked that way I wouldn't be here lol
well that's a sweeping generalisation.. there are people here for many reasons, both lean and overweight.
Agreed. I am talking about myself not other thin healthy people who use this site to maintain their looks0 -
PeachesNcreamgal wrote: »Are you kidding me? @singingflutelady. That is a Bollywood actress. I admire her body I want to look like that
is that katrina kaif in your pic? its hard to see1 -
Yeah!! I love her abs!! I Put this pic to make me work harder1
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PeachesNcreamgal wrote: »Of course you're not! If I looked that way I wouldn't be here lol
I'm 125 lbs and feel fat and ugly at least 70% of the time. You know it's all in your head right? Don't expect being thin to solve all your problems. But it sounds like you at least have enough self loathing to get on with this and get healthy? I'd hold onto that!!5 -
PeachesNcreamgal wrote: »Of course you're not! If I looked that way I wouldn't be here lol
lol...I assumed the photo was you as well, and was going to ask if you have body image issues...instead it sounds like you're just hard on yourself. My advice is to either bite the bullet, go up to him one day and say hi, or forget about him altogether as he hasn't given you any signs of interest. But I wouldn't suggest hitting on someone just because they are 'hot' (dullard or not). Hot can be fun, but it doesn't last, and usually is full of empty promises anyways.2 -
Well, if it helps, I was over 300 pounds when I was with a very good looking guy (rugby player). How you look rarely dictates the kind of relationships you have, now if the way you look affects the way you feel and act, that's a different story. You'll never know what this guy is into until you do.2
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I'm painfully shy and I will never approach him. I just want to stop feeling this attraction towards this guy. I know he's got nothing to do with me . Obviously he Doesn't give two *kitten* about me. So I just want to get over him. I need to snap out of it.
I am just feeling jealous and insecure. Basically I am developing a major inferiority complex because there are prettier chicks than me in the park and the *kitten* is eyeing them all
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I suggest you stop going to that park for awhile, then. Give your mind something else to focus on. Find another park, with stairs and things to climb, and start spending that time working on you instead. (Stop worrying about who is prettier, it'll eat you up alive as there will ALWAYS be someone prettier..no matter what we look like)3
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I was the thin girl and I was the fat girl.if he is looking and staring at the thin pretty girls then its possible he is a shallow person. you really dont want someone like that.you could always go up and say hi and go from there.I got more attention when I put on weight compared to when I was thin. stop being so hard on yourself, work to become the best you you can be and go from there. never be jealous of any other women as you dont know them,just because they are pretty and thin on the outside doesnt mean anything. thin and pretty doesnt make the person2
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PeachesNcreamgal wrote: »I'm painfully shy and I will never approach him. I just want to stop feeling this attraction towards this guy. I know he's got nothing to do with me . Obviously he Doesn't give two *kitten* about me. So I just want to get over him. I need to snap out of it.
I am just feeling jealous and insecure. Basically I am developing a major inferiority complex because there are prettier chicks than me in the park and the *kitten* is eyeing them all
News flash.... There's always someone prettier than you...2 -
CharlieBeansmomTracey wrote: »I was the thin girl and I was the fat girl.if he is looking and staring at the thin pretty girls then its possible he is a shallow person. you really dont want someone like that.you could always go up and say hi and go from there.I got more attention when I put on weight compared to when I was thin. stop being so hard on yourself, work to become the best you you can be and go from there. never be jealous of any other women as you dont know them,just because they are pretty and thin on the outside doesnt mean anything. thin and pretty doesnt make the person
He's not shallow, he just likes a particular body type perhaps, everyone does. I like tall and dark men, if you're under 6ft I'm not interested... That's just my type. Doesn't make me shallow, it's just what I'm attracted to physically.1 -
TavistockToad wrote: »CharlieBeansmomTracey wrote: »I was the thin girl and I was the fat girl.if he is looking and staring at the thin pretty girls then its possible he is a shallow person. you really dont want someone like that.you could always go up and say hi and go from there.I got more attention when I put on weight compared to when I was thin. stop being so hard on yourself, work to become the best you you can be and go from there. never be jealous of any other women as you dont know them,just because they are pretty and thin on the outside doesnt mean anything. thin and pretty doesnt make the person
He's not shallow, he just likes a particular body type perhaps, everyone does. I like tall and dark men, if you're under 6ft I'm not interested... That's just my type. Doesn't make me shallow, it's just what I'm attracted to physically.
Well Asian, mostly indian men have a type and that's thin and beautiful. If you're not a thin woman they'd rather *kitten* a dog. Its a cultural thing. Most of you are American and come from a diverse culture where black white thin or fat doesnt make a person but it's not the same here !!0 -
PeachesNcreamgal wrote: »TavistockToad wrote: »CharlieBeansmomTracey wrote: »I was the thin girl and I was the fat girl.if he is looking and staring at the thin pretty girls then its possible he is a shallow person. you really dont want someone like that.you could always go up and say hi and go from there.I got more attention when I put on weight compared to when I was thin. stop being so hard on yourself, work to become the best you you can be and go from there. never be jealous of any other women as you dont know them,just because they are pretty and thin on the outside doesnt mean anything. thin and pretty doesnt make the person
He's not shallow, he just likes a particular body type perhaps, everyone does. I like tall and dark men, if you're under 6ft I'm not interested... That's just my type. Doesn't make me shallow, it's just what I'm attracted to physically.
Well Asian, mostly indian men have a type and that's thin and beautiful. If you're not a thin woman they'd rather *kitten* a dog. Its a cultural thing. Most of you are American and come from a diverse culture where black white thin or fat doesnt make a person but it's not the same here !!
I'm not American and I'm not from a diverse culture. It's the same everywhere, different people have different preferences no matter where they live, but the voice for a certain body type can be louder than others. Have you never seen an overweight Indian woman happily married? Regardless, you can easily change "fat", but changing "feeling fat and ugly" is going to require some serious work.1 -
well yeah that could be too. but its possible hes shallow too. I dont know but any fit men I know (not on this site) are pretty shallowTavistockToad wrote: »CharlieBeansmomTracey wrote: »I was the thin girl and I was the fat girl.if he is looking and staring at the thin pretty girls then its possible he is a shallow person. you really dont want someone like that.you could always go up and say hi and go from there.I got more attention when I put on weight compared to when I was thin. stop being so hard on yourself, work to become the best you you can be and go from there. never be jealous of any other women as you dont know them,just because they are pretty and thin on the outside doesnt mean anything. thin and pretty doesnt make the person
He's not shallow, he just likes a particular body type perhaps, everyone does. I like tall and dark men, if you're under 6ft I'm not interested... That's just my type. Doesn't make me shallow, it's just what I'm attracted to physically.
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PeachesNcreamgal wrote: »TavistockToad wrote: »CharlieBeansmomTracey wrote: »I was the thin girl and I was the fat girl.if he is looking and staring at the thin pretty girls then its possible he is a shallow person. you really dont want someone like that.you could always go up and say hi and go from there.I got more attention when I put on weight compared to when I was thin. stop being so hard on yourself, work to become the best you you can be and go from there. never be jealous of any other women as you dont know them,just because they are pretty and thin on the outside doesnt mean anything. thin and pretty doesnt make the person
He's not shallow, he just likes a particular body type perhaps, everyone does. I like tall and dark men, if you're under 6ft I'm not interested... That's just my type. Doesn't make me shallow, it's just what I'm attracted to physically.
Well Asian, mostly indian men have a type and that's thin and beautiful. If you're not a thin woman they'd rather *kitten* a dog. Its a cultural thing. Most of you are American and come from a diverse culture where black white thin or fat doesnt make a person but it's not the same here !!
you'd be surprised. I live in the south where a lot of the thin men have heavy/overweight/obese wife or girlfriends, you have people here who do think what you look on the outside matters,but you will get that all over the world. it happens here too.I had boys who would make fun of me in school,even though I was not thin I wasnt fat,I got called fat often(thats another thread).But yeah the only thing you can do is either say hi to him or just go on with life and be the best you can be.maybe you could be friends with him? ask him for pointers on things?1 -
amusedmonkey wrote: »PeachesNcreamgal wrote: »TavistockToad wrote: »CharlieBeansmomTracey wrote: »I was the thin girl and I was the fat girl.if he is looking and staring at the thin pretty girls then its possible he is a shallow person. you really dont want someone like that.you could always go up and say hi and go from there.I got more attention when I put on weight compared to when I was thin. stop being so hard on yourself, work to become the best you you can be and go from there. never be jealous of any other women as you dont know them,just because they are pretty and thin on the outside doesnt mean anything. thin and pretty doesnt make the person
He's not shallow, he just likes a particular body type perhaps, everyone does. I like tall and dark men, if you're under 6ft I'm not interested... That's just my type. Doesn't make me shallow, it's just what I'm attracted to physically.
Well Asian, mostly indian men have a type and that's thin and beautiful. If you're not a thin woman they'd rather *kitten* a dog. Its a cultural thing. Most of you are American and come from a diverse culture where black white thin or fat doesnt make a person but it's not the same here !!
I'm not American and I'm not from a diverse culture. It's the same everywhere, different people have different preferences no matter where they live, but the voice for a certain body type can be louder than others. Have you never seen an overweight Indian woman happily married? Regardless, you can easily change "fat", but changing "feeling fat and ugly" is going to require some serious work.
Women in India get rejected for being fat or dark or ugly. I am 28 y/o and have reached "marriageable" age and get rejected a lot coz of my weight. Oh well We don't have a predominantly dating culture like western countries. I have read in papers how "physically imperfect" women are harassed by their in laws for the stated reasons. Some get burnt alive or the luckier one divorced if they dont meet the high standards set for us looks wise.0 -
PeachesNcreamgal wrote: »amusedmonkey wrote: »PeachesNcreamgal wrote: »TavistockToad wrote: »CharlieBeansmomTracey wrote: »I was the thin girl and I was the fat girl.if he is looking and staring at the thin pretty girls then its possible he is a shallow person. you really dont want someone like that.you could always go up and say hi and go from there.I got more attention when I put on weight compared to when I was thin. stop being so hard on yourself, work to become the best you you can be and go from there. never be jealous of any other women as you dont know them,just because they are pretty and thin on the outside doesnt mean anything. thin and pretty doesnt make the person
He's not shallow, he just likes a particular body type perhaps, everyone does. I like tall and dark men, if you're under 6ft I'm not interested... That's just my type. Doesn't make me shallow, it's just what I'm attracted to physically.
Well Asian, mostly indian men have a type and that's thin and beautiful. If you're not a thin woman they'd rather *kitten* a dog. Its a cultural thing. Most of you are American and come from a diverse culture where black white thin or fat doesnt make a person but it's not the same here !!
I'm not American and I'm not from a diverse culture. It's the same everywhere, different people have different preferences no matter where they live, but the voice for a certain body type can be louder than others. Have you never seen an overweight Indian woman happily married? Regardless, you can easily change "fat", but changing "feeling fat and ugly" is going to require some serious work.
Women in India get rejected for being fat or dark or ugly. I am 28 y/o and have reached "marriageable" age and get rejected a lot coz of my weight. Oh well We don't have a predominantly dating culture like western countries. I have read in papers how "physically imperfect" women are harassed by their in laws for the stated reasons. Some get burnt alive or the luckier one divorced if they dont meet the high standards set for us looks wise.[/quote]
And for not the first time in the last week, I am so grateful to be born and living where I am. I feel for you xo3 -
To quote RuPaul, "If you can't love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?"
Your problem is not the guy in the park or your society (although they may both be problematic). The guy in the park hasn't even had the opportunity to reject you. You beat yourself down and then resented him for it! People can be cruel, but our own imagination can be so much crueler, especially when driven by shame and self-pity.
My advice is to let go of that negativity and stop being a victim. You deserve better than that! Treat yourself the way you want to be treated. Expect to be liked for who you are. Show the world that *you* know that you are worth knowing and liking, because you have so much to offer.
And talk to the guy! The worst that is likely to happen is no worse than you have already done to yourself. If it goes well, you win! If he rejects you because of your looks, then you will know that he isn't worth knowing and you can get over him. The shame of that isn't half as bad as the shame of believing you aren't worthy of even talking to him in the first place.11 -
Why not start a conversation? Your attitude about yourself will probably be more unattractive to him regardless of how you look, or your weight.1
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