Do you find this offensive?

chubbychristianchick
chubbychristianchick Posts: 217 Member
edited September 29 in Motivation and Support
Ranting/ Needing support:

Ok so I find it offensive when my "friends" eat extremely fattening and unhealthy food in front of me all day. In fact it really grosses me out. I really dont want to see you cramming pizza down your face with grease dripping off of it, I have no desire to even attempt to speculate how many calories are in your cheesy bacon ranch fries, and I really don't want to know that's the best cake you've eaten in your entire life. As "friends" they know physically and emmotionally I'm 100% in this. I have to no other choice or option but to lose weight. So why do they continue to do this? Are the oblivious to the fact that it bothers me? Then when I do say something I'm some how being mean and cruel.

Maybe I'm being crazy and blowing it way out! Do you ever feel like the whole world is against you?
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Replies

  • anulle2009
    anulle2009 Posts: 580 Member
    I would be annoyed. I get annoyed when people rant and rave above a new crash diet they are trying.. because in the end they are gonna complain about the weight gain once they stopped. I would say to this "friend" that you would appreciate it if she took her pizza eating bacon ranch french fry stuffing butt somewere else LOL.. or maybe a nicer way.
  • Laurayinz
    Laurayinz Posts: 930 Member
    I think friends should respect what you're trying to do, even if they're not doing it themselves. While they probably won't change their habits when you're around, they shouldn't make you feel bad. They sound like jerks, imo.
  • JennaM222
    JennaM222 Posts: 1,996 Member
    No, I dont think it is offensive at all. It comes a time when you need to make a choice. If you cannot handle beoing around it, dont be. I am big on the "suck it up attitude" today. Communicate to them that you dont want to be around those types of food, and if they blow you off well they arent that good if friends anyways!
  • bobbybdoe
    bobbybdoe Posts: 472 Member
    I know that feel bro. My mother and my father always talk about wanting to lose weight, but always bring fast food in the house. It pisses me off a lot because they know how much I hate that stuff now.
  • CrazyAdventure
    CrazyAdventure Posts: 113 Member
    Unless you've told them it bothers you, they probably are oblivious. But just as they need to respect the fact that you are trying to lose weight, you'll have to remember that they are not and while they may not be making good decisions, you still are. You can't control others' actions, just your own.
  • chevy88grl
    chevy88grl Posts: 3,937 Member
    You know what I've learned? People are very self centered. They may care about you and realize you're on this journey, but honestly... they still want to eat their greasy pizza, discuss the "best cake ever" and such. They are focused on their life and the fact that they still enjoy these things. I think until you walk down the weight loss road - you won't be very understanding to how the other person feels.

    I spent months and months having to politely decline offers from people at work - candy, cookies, pop, etc. I kept saying "no thank you" even through their snide comments, rude words and glares. I did this for ME and not for THEM. If they want to eat that stuff - fine. *I* do not want to eat it.
  • mhig011975
    mhig011975 Posts: 181
    Not really, Because I'm not the one eating it. They are making that choice all by themselves. Plus it's their body, they can do what they want.
  • Setof2Keys
    Setof2Keys Posts: 681 Member
    No, you can't dictate your health by what they do. They shouldn't have to change their habits for your sake either. It would be a prob if they kept tempting you or you do lunch only at fast food places, but other than that I think you will find yourself constantly offended if you are bothered by others that much. Americans are a fat culture. People will continue to make their own choices. You should also try to make some friends that share your goals so that you have a balance. :)
  • inskydiamonds
    inskydiamonds Posts: 2,519 Member
    I think part of learning to eat healthy also involves learning to be around people who aren't and learning to be in situations where you sometimes have to make the decision between caving and not.

    With that being said, I don't think it's fair for you to get angry at your friends who haven't made the decision you have to alter their eating around you. You can't expect them to change their habits when they aren't ready to do so. We all know how hard making that change is.
  • madworld711
    madworld711 Posts: 29
    I sometimes find myself getting angry when I see my husband eat this stuff. But, deep down I know that it's not logical to expect him to never eat what he wants when we're together. I can't expect other people to deny certain foods because I am onto healthy eating. So, it's more myself that I get annoyed with because deep down I want that "best cake ever" or that super greasy pizza.
  • Amo_Angelus
    Amo_Angelus Posts: 604 Member
    No I don't, in fact I'd go the other way actually. I find it really offensive that people judge based on what they're eating. Why hould someone eating a pizza offend you? Maybe you eating a salad offends them? Grow up and get over yourself, you can't tell other people what to eat and why the hell should you? It' their life. You eat what you want and let them eat what they want. It's not like they're forcing you to eat it! And if you don't like it, go eat on your own, I expect that if someone eating a pizza offends you that much, you'll be eating mot of your meals alone anyway.
  • souperficial
    souperficial Posts: 122 Member
    Just as they're not controlling your life, you're going to have to not control theirs. Sure, their choices may not match well with yours, but it's your body you're worried about, not theirs.
  • Heather75
    Heather75 Posts: 3,386 Member
    Why is what you want to do more important than what they want to do?
  • ejmcam
    ejmcam Posts: 533 Member
    Well, to be fair....are they trying to get you to eat it also? because that would be offensive to me.....but if they are just doing their thing and living their lives as they always have, I would have to say that maybe you are being to sensitive. Just from my own experience, I am the one who decided to make this change in my life, and I dont really expect other people to change how they eat/live or whatever (even if I secretly think they need to)
  • Marig0ld
    Marig0ld Posts: 671 Member
    I feel you...I find myself avoiding people who eat like that. If I'm ever at a party or anything and I bring a dish, I will bring a yummy dessert that is a WW recipe or something like that, one where you almost can't tell it's "light." People are usually shocked by how good it is. I hope you can convince your friends that you don't have to eat deep fried double bacon ranch whatevers in order to have a good time! Lol.
  • aehartley
    aehartley Posts: 269 Member
    I don't really get annoyed... My partner dons't eat clean, I do... Most of the time we end up cooking diffrent things ( in the same kitchen- together) ... we ahve just agreeded to disagree. No skin off my back that she dosn't want to eat that way. Nore does she need too... I just say to eat there own,
  • Ashley_Panda
    Ashley_Panda Posts: 1,404 Member
    I don't think so. Don't like it? Don't look. It's your life style change not theirs.
  • rtmama
    rtmama Posts: 403 Member
    People eating is a part of life, and if you are in it for the long haul, you are going to run into situations like this a lot. You might as well start dealing with it now. It's not going to get any better!
  • BethanyMasters
    BethanyMasters Posts: 519 Member
    I know how you feel.
    I work at a pizza place and I have to watch people eat garbage all day. We are located right next to a Mcdonalds and I have to see my 400 pound shift manager eat Mcdonalds and Pizza 3+ times a day.

    But my boyfriend made a good point that to them it's probably really annoying for them to watch me eat a yogurt cup, a piece of fruit an a half sandwich for lunch every day.
  • Cindy311
    Cindy311 Posts: 780 Member
    Are you offended or jealous? You can't expect everyone to stop their eating habits just because you've changed yours.
  • tgumeebee
    tgumeebee Posts: 43 Member
    There are many saboteurs in our daily life. We just have to keep our own and stay motivated.
  • sspetersen
    sspetersen Posts: 11 Member
    I hear what your saying, but at the same time your friends are probably not at the same place in life with weight or weight loss that you are. Really losing weight takes a committment and a level of self analysis that you can't force on people. It would be nice if they were more supportive by eating healthier foods with you, but from my experience unless they have or are trying to lose weight themselves, they probably don't even realize that they may be offending you by eating like that in front of you.

    At the same time, this post makes me wonder, are you committed to being a healthier you? If so, don't let what they are eating effect you, it only effects them. Get excited about the food you do eat and remind yourself earnstly what they unhealthy foods they are eating does to your body if you eat it. I ask myself all the time, "Is the 3-4 minutes of pleasure from eating that jelly filled donut worth the 60min bike ride to burn those calories?" If yes, then do it! If no, skip it this time :)
  • morganhccstudent724
    morganhccstudent724 Posts: 1,261 Member
    No, I dont think it is offensive at all. It comes a time when you need to make a choice. If you cannot handle beoing around it, dont be. I am big on the "suck it up attitude" today. Communicate to them that you dont want to be around those types of food, and if they blow you off well they arent that good if friends anyways!

    Well said...
  • MsKeelah919
    MsKeelah919 Posts: 332 Member
    No, I dont think it is offensive at all. It comes a time when you need to make a choice. If you cannot handle beoing around it, dont be. I am big on the "suck it up attitude" today. Communicate to them that you dont want to be around those types of food, and if they blow you off well they arent that good if friends anyways!

    This right here. Thats how the universe works. You say you want something, then tempation rears its head (sometimes in the form of commercials, lunch parties at work, or family and friends) to see if YOU are serious about your desire. There will be gluttony goodness all around for the rest of our lives. This challenge is to CHOOSE not to partake. Good luck! And I'm sure they feel bad as well, because now that you're on your journey you are becomign the food police. I think its easy to do when you first get into this lifestyle. I catch myself all the time, trying not to let people know how much damage all that fried food is doing to them. But I must rmember, it wasnt that long ago that I happiily partook as well... :)
  • airind
    airind Posts: 31
    No one can make you feel a certain way, not even you. You feel how you feel, but you can choose how to react.
    If your friends are not going on a diet with you, it is not fair to expect them to stop eating how they'd like just because you can't. You are choosing to let it bother you - why not instead acknowledge your feelings, figure out why you feel that way (are you subconsciously jealous perhaps?) and move on. I would not be happy if someone expected me to change all my habits just because they did, and if this was the way they have always been around you, then really you are the change and the one that needs to shift their thinking, not them.
    There's nothing wrong with a little education and encouragement to make healthier choices, but in the end you are in charge of you and no one else.
  • YukonJoy
    YukonJoy Posts: 1,279 Member
    It doesn't offend me at all when other people eat junk food. To each his own. What does tick me off is when my boyfriend brings home food I have SPECIFICALLY told him not to bring home for me, like cider or my favorite junk food,

    Yesterday he brought me home a subway cookie...which he had obviously saved special for me all day, so how can I be mad? He thinks he is being a good boy by bringing me home all these treats and spoiling me. He will figure it out soon enough if I just keep saying "No, thank you. But I do appreciate it".

    Ok....I ate 1/4 of the goddamn subway cookie. Damn, I'm not perfect :tongue:
  • marindak
    marindak Posts: 168
    I don't find this offensive at all. I have lunch and spend time with others who indulge in fatty foods and unhealthy behaviors, but I don't mind, thats their life. and who am I to judge what they do or not do. I don't expect them to judge me either. Thats friends.
    My life is my life and I'll do what i please with it because in the end im the only one that matters. I don't have time to worry about what others are doing. :bigsmile:
  • chubbychristianchick
    chubbychristianchick Posts: 217 Member
    Your boyfriend has a great point. Maybe I need to start looking at it this way.
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
    I don't think it's rude, I think it's their body and their plate. When I go out to eat with friends I worry about what's on my plate, not what's on theirs. Honestly I think it's rude for someone to think that their diet should dictate the diets of others not living in their home. Now, it they're trying to tempt you and egg you on to eat whatever it is that they're shoving in their pie hole with the whole "oh, you don't know what your missing out on" and "come on, you know you want some" that's rude, but the simple act of eating what you want around your friends is not.
  • staciekins
    staciekins Posts: 453 Member
    It's a catch 22. If you ask them to stop, then they have to change their ways which is unfair to ask. You can't expect them to change just because you did. They would have to walk on eggshells so as not to aggravate you and that can put a strain on your relationship. But it bothers you if they don't. It use to bother me too but I realized that it's MY lifestyle change and I don't want to be THAT friend that constantly ridicules everyone on their eating habits. My opinion (and it's blunt so forgive me.) Get over it. Ignore it. You do get use to it. And eventually it actually stops bothering you and then all those times you DIDN'T eat what they are or refuse that piece of cake, it's like a victory for you to be proud of.
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