Do you find this offensive?

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  • VanessaFaith
    VanessaFaith Posts: 171 Member
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    Maybe I don't see the whole picture, but my friends and family still eat the same old fattening things that I used to eat. I don't expect them not to continue their life in front of me... I made the choice to change my eating habits, that doesn't mean they have to (even if I wish they would, for their own good). I guess I don't really understand why it bothers you that they eat pizza or whatever in front of you... you changed, they didn't. I don't expect or even desire my friends to watch what they eat just because I'm sitting there... I plan on sticking to it whether they eat or not. Stand strong... you can do this!
  • beccau_20
    beccau_20 Posts: 191 Member
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    Sometimes I feel like the whole FOOD world is against me, but not my friends or family. It's my choice what to put in my body and I don't expect anyone to change their ways just for me. Except my husband. I do expect that he doesn't try to sabotage me, which he sometimes does. I don't mind if he eats those *bad* foods once in a while, I just want him to keep them out of the house so I don't eat them.
  • angelaclev
    angelaclev Posts: 95
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    But wouldnt it be self-centered of us to ask them to not eat what they want just because we dont eat that anymore... if you are going to go out with people who arent dieting then you need to be prepared... not everyone eats healthy. It would be the same for you to eat healthy in front of them knowing they really wanted pizza and couldnt because it would "offend" you.
  • mlb929
    mlb929 Posts: 1,974 Member
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    I'm somewhat confused as to why you would be offended? Frankly, why do you care? You should be proud of yourself for making a commitment to be healthy, get fit, and be a better you. You are stronger and better than them because you didn't just take the easy way out.

    My friends drink - I don't, never really had any desire to - not my thing. But it doesn't make me less of a friend, I'm still happy to drive them home, make fun of them when I'm sober at the stupid things they do, and I call them as I head out for a 13 mile run the next morning when they are hungover. Makes me feel pretty darn good about myself.

    Learn to view food as the same way. I'm thinking you are of the mindset that you are being deprived of something - or missing out - or being punished. All these views lead to failure in healthy eating. The choices are yours to make not theirs.

    Screw them :)
  • anewattitude
    anewattitude Posts: 483 Member
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    How they treat their bodies is their choice. As hard as it may be, true strength, in my opinion, comes from within. If you want it bad enough, and it sounds like you do, you will make the choices that are best for YOU, regardless of what others around you are doing.

    Best wishes. You can do it!
  • adamcf
    adamcf Posts: 126
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    I get where you're coming from. But think about why it's offensive to you. You have a problem with yourself eating like that because you now realize the discrepancy between eating like that and how we should eat. The problem isn't you or what your friends are doing against you. The problem is that they don't realize that discrepancy and you do. I see from your profile picture and quote on your profile, that you are likely a christian. I am too. Think about how we became believers. We realized a discrepancy between who we've made ourselves to be and who God made us to be. We've relied on food as our comfort when we should have relied on Christ. Jesus called us to love others so that they will know him too. Whether your friends are believers or not, we are still called to love them. If they are using food to replace that need for Christ, then they are the same as us. Love your friends and show them what God does for you by the way you eat. You may find yourself leading more people to Christ with your healthy living.
  • ilookthetype
    ilookthetype Posts: 3,021 Member
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    No, I dont think it is offensive at all. It comes a time when you need to make a choice. If you cannot handle beoing around it, dont be. I am big on the "suck it up attitude" today. Communicate to them that you dont want to be around those types of food, and if they blow you off well they arent that good if friends anyways!


    I agree whole heartedly.

    You made a choice to change the way you eat, they didn't. Did it bother you before?
  • kelsully
    kelsully Posts: 1,008 Member
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    Ranting/ Needing support:

    Ok so I find it offensive when my "friends" eat extremely fattening and unhealthy food in front of me all day. In fact it really grosses me out. I really dont want to see you cramming pizza down your face with grease dripping off of it, I have no desire to even attempt to speculate how many calories are in your cheesy bacon ranch fries, and I really don't want to know that's the best cake you've eaten in your entire life. As "friends" they know physically and emmotionally I'm 100% in this. I have to no other choice or option but to lose weight. So why do they continue to do this? Are the oblivious to the fact that it bothers me? Then when I do say something I'm some how being mean and cruel.

    Maybe I'm being crazy and blowing it way out! Do you ever feel like the whole world is against you?


    This is something you have to learn to live with. Unless you are certain they are eating like that in front of you because they think it is tempting you and that is funny or something than what they eat is no more your business than what you eat is theirs. I know that might sound harsh but they don't have to consider your feeling when ordering out...if that was the case no one would be allowed to eat steak or hamburgers or any kind of meat on a bone infront of me...I think meat is groteseque...If they are intentionally upsetting you then I would speak up...if they are eating like they have always eaten then don't be offended just keep doing what you are doing...you might rub off on them.....but don't preach your new choices...nothing turns people off faster than being preached to.
  • MrBrown72
    MrBrown72 Posts: 407 Member
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    Did they act that way and pig out before you decided to change? Chances are they are still the same as always and you never noticed as much when you were joining in, they may have added a little friendly teasing into the mix but that's pretty normal for most clicks and in my opinion not that bad.

    If this is the case, why should they change how they are just to suit you and what you've decided to become. When I quit smoking I certainly did not require my friends not to smoke in my royal presence or complain when they did. If it bothered me I moved. And yes some never passed up the chance to point out how good it was to be having a cigarette. Like I said though, this is my choice, my change, and my issue. I have not right to expect the social dynamic with my friends to be altered to suit me.

    So... what's wrong with your friends having their usual meal and enjoying it, even a bit more theatrically, as they always have?

    I suppose if I complained enough about my friends smoking they would of course stop inviting me (is what I would do) and that problem would be over. I don't do that, I like my friends as they are and if they do decide to make a change I'll support them but until then I'm all for them carrying on in the way they enjoy.

    I do however really enjoy pointing out the smaller cloths and non-smoking women I can pick up that they can't. It's all good friendly fun right?
  • kfjcc
    kfjcc Posts: 1
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    No, I don't find this offensive. Your weight loss is your own journey and, sorry for the bluntness, but you need to mind your own business and focus on yourself. You are well acquainted with your friends eating habits and most likely, pre-journey, enjoyed the same foods with them. Don't turn this into a blame game. Just focus on what you need to do for yourself -- this will make you stronger -- and either choose to socialize as always and ignore their choices, or, if this is too hard and distracts you from your own pursuits, then pass on socializing in restaurants. Suggest a walk or non-food mutual interest instead.
  • toots99
    toots99 Posts: 3,794 Member
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    No, you can't dictate your health by what they do. They shouldn't have to change their habits for your sake either. It would be a prob if they kept tempting you or you do lunch only at fast food places, but other than that I think you will find yourself constantly offended if you are bothered by others that much. Americans are a fat culture. People will continue to make their own choices. You should also try to make some friends that share your goals so that you have a balance. :)

    ^^ That.

    It might be different if I lived with a husband or family instead of by myself. But like she said, you can't tell them what to do, just like they can't tell you what to do.
  • YukonJoy
    YukonJoy Posts: 1,279 Member
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    It doesn't bother me whet do THEY eat. It only bothers me when my friends or my husband are pushing they not healthy food choices on ME.
    For example after 2 days of grilled chicken/ salad type of dinner my husband is whining and demands pasta for dinner. That bugs me a lot, because it forces me to eat bad or forces me to cook twice which is very time consuming.
    Also sometimes I go out with my friends and they teasing me about not want to drink , and once they even order me my favourite drink: baileys, which is super high in calorie.

    I have this exact same problem except if my "hubby" insists on a high calorie dinner I tell him he can make whatever he goddamn well wants for himself because I am making fish and brown rice and he usually concedes and eats whatever I make. Haha

    I do have that problem with social drinking though. My friends are REALLY REALLY obnoxious about drinking. If I say no to beer its like I told them I've given up going outside or something. "WHAT?!!?! OMG!! ITS JUST A BEER"

    LIKE F*** OFF, FATTY!!!!
  • pyro13g
    pyro13g Posts: 1,127 Member
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    You sound like the one being offensive. Their lives, who are you to expect them not eat what they want in front of you. They should expect you to eat like them also then. No win. Your only option is to change your friends.
  • juscallmeb
    juscallmeb Posts: 369 Member
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    I can understand how it may annoy you that they are doing it in front of you, but you can't force them to change their eating habits.

    I have plenty of friends/co workers that will eat whatever they want. They have never pressured me into eating what they are eating, so to me that's them making an effort and they don't ask me if I want any either. Another effort on their behalf.

    Your friends may support you in your journey but they may not want to do what you do just becuase you are doing it.
    Obviously they are your friend for a reason. You enjoy their company. If they are being rude about it, discouraging your efforts, then kindly say, no thank you, this is important to me.
    If they don't stop, then unfortunately you may have to not hang out with them until you are comfortable with them and the choices they make about food.

    I don't care to drink, but my friends still ask me to go out and have a good time. They don't pressure me into drinking or ask me why i'm not drinking. Nor do I comment on how much they drink or that they shouldn't. It's their choice.

    All in all, I just wouldn't eat with them. Do other things that don't involve food. Go walking, etc. Do active things and that may open their eyes to how much this really means to you. Remember, some people won't always "remember" that you are on a journey and making better choices, so letting them know a few times isn't a bad thing, just be kind about it. They may want to be there to motivate you and change their own habits because you inspired them.
    If you don't want to do any of that, don't be their friend. LOL :)
  • Nytram81
    Nytram81 Posts: 44
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    I also dislike food Nazi's who sit there and tell other people how many calories are in the foods that they are eating. Why would someone do that?? I'm the one who's made a choice to eat more healthier, i'm not going to force it down anyone else's throat.
  • 27strange
    27strange Posts: 837 Member
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    It used to aggravate me some to watch the guy next to me at work chow down on his 3/4lb deluxe burger, fries, and shake in the office. Having to smell it and see it tempted me. It was as if he was dangling it in front of my nose on purpose just wanting me to fail. Of course he had no ill-intentions at all..he was just enjoying his lunch his way.

    Since the weight is coming off and staying off I am losing the temptation for that greasy burger and fries. In fact, it makes me sick to see it and smell it. Since progress is occurring and I can see the physical progress with my body, its so much easier to deny myself that junk. When a sales dude brought in a bunch of bacon egg and cheese biscuits from hardees this morning my reaction was an easy "No, thank you" and that was that. I know I don't want nor need that 530 calories and all that fat. I am happy with my fruit. But if everyone else wants to partake, that is fine. No need for anyone to get offended. I will take care of me, you all can take care of yourselves mentality. Not reason enough to spoil a good working relationship or friendship over.
  • juscallmeb
    juscallmeb Posts: 369 Member
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    No, I don't find this offensive. Your weight loss is your own journey and, sorry for the bluntness, but you need to mind your own business and focus on yourself. You are well acquainted with your friends eating habits and most likely, pre-journey, enjoyed the same foods with them. Don't turn this into a blame game. Just focus on what you need to do for yourself -- this will make you stronger -- and either choose to socialize as always and ignore their choices, or, if this is too hard and distracts you from your own pursuits, then pass on socializing in restaurants. Suggest a walk or non-food mutual interest instead.
    agreed
  • Enigmatica
    Enigmatica Posts: 879 Member
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    I could NOT care less what anyone else chooses to eat because I'm proud of my own choices - and the results of those choices. If they want to eat crap that's their problem. I'm not going to poison myself for them.
  • YukonJoy
    YukonJoy Posts: 1,279 Member
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    I also dislike food Nazi's who sit there and tell other people how many calories are in the foods that they are eating. Why would someone do that?? I'm the one who's made a choice to eat more healthier, i'm not going to force it down anyone else's throat.

    True that. Someone told me the meal I was eating had like 1000 calories in it. My answer was "Yeah, 1000 caloiries of delicious". I eat clean and work out all week and I get one cheat meal. How dare you judge me!
  • mannyd1975
    mannyd1975 Posts: 120 Member
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    I think too many people try and interfere with others lifestyles as it is...................live and let live is what I say, if there is no direct harm to you, just let it be.....we need to remember we have choices too, dont force your beleifs on others. Would you ask a transvestite not to wear a skirt around you cause it makes you uncomfortable? SUCK IT UP...LIVE AND LET LIVE!

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