I give up. Seriously ...can't do this.
Options
jackiedruga
Posts: 18 Member
I'm 52, and while not seriously overweight (5'3, 134) Menopause has not been kind to me. 3 years ago, I went from a mobile moving about job to my dream career of being a writer full time. During this time I entered menopause., stopped moving about and gained a lot of weight, especially that damn back and tummy fat. I carry a tire around my middle.
I'm healthy, the doc says I fall into the normal weight range, just need to exercise and lose the tummy.
I can't do this. I weigh my food, watch my calorie intake, walk every day now for two hours. 3x a week I exercise (Sit ups, dance, etc) I never consume more than 1100 cals a day and average 1050. I rarely do sweets, ever, hate candy, avoid cheese, and drink black coffee and water (I don't log these).
I eat very little because I get full so fast. In this third MFP round 35 days later, I have lost 7 pounds but only 1.5 inches. I look in the mirror and hate what I see. I see no change. I buy big clothes to cover everything.
What is making this worse for me is my friend, same age 52 started MFP 18 months ago, but since January, she has lost 65 pounds (240-169). She doesn't exercise, works part time, ends her night with a high cal sweet treat and accredits her weight loss to fat free dressing and not exercising to avoid muscle weight gain. She shares her food diary with me as motivation. I couldn't possibly consume what she does. The last week alone, her snacks were as much as my daily intake, yet she still lost 3 pounds. She's defying all logic to me.
I know it's not a competition, but it's hard to go to dinner with someone who eats a whole steak, potato, salad with ranch and desert and boasts weight loss while i have grilled fish and a salad and fight to keep from gaining.
I just wanna say screw it and quit and buy bigger clothes.
Sorry for the long rant, this is the most discouraged I have felt in so long. I got a text she lost more weight, while I skipped most of Thanksgiving dinner to stay under calories.
Any advice or am I just overreacting and emotional. Damn menopause.
I'm healthy, the doc says I fall into the normal weight range, just need to exercise and lose the tummy.
I can't do this. I weigh my food, watch my calorie intake, walk every day now for two hours. 3x a week I exercise (Sit ups, dance, etc) I never consume more than 1100 cals a day and average 1050. I rarely do sweets, ever, hate candy, avoid cheese, and drink black coffee and water (I don't log these).
I eat very little because I get full so fast. In this third MFP round 35 days later, I have lost 7 pounds but only 1.5 inches. I look in the mirror and hate what I see. I see no change. I buy big clothes to cover everything.
What is making this worse for me is my friend, same age 52 started MFP 18 months ago, but since January, she has lost 65 pounds (240-169). She doesn't exercise, works part time, ends her night with a high cal sweet treat and accredits her weight loss to fat free dressing and not exercising to avoid muscle weight gain. She shares her food diary with me as motivation. I couldn't possibly consume what she does. The last week alone, her snacks were as much as my daily intake, yet she still lost 3 pounds. She's defying all logic to me.
I know it's not a competition, but it's hard to go to dinner with someone who eats a whole steak, potato, salad with ranch and desert and boasts weight loss while i have grilled fish and a salad and fight to keep from gaining.
I just wanna say screw it and quit and buy bigger clothes.
Sorry for the long rant, this is the most discouraged I have felt in so long. I got a text she lost more weight, while I skipped most of Thanksgiving dinner to stay under calories.
Any advice or am I just overreacting and emotional. Damn menopause.
1
Replies
-
It's not menopause but your calorie tracking. Do you use a food scale to weigh you solid foods?7
-
You're overreacting.
7lbs in 35 days is more than a lb a week - that's excellent progress. 1.5 inches is a bloody decent loss in that time. When you're at a healthy weight, it comes off slower - many people at that weight would be looking at a 0.5lb loss a week.
Your friend is losing faster and can eat more because she is bigger and has a higher TDEE. It's easier and faster losing weight when you have a lot to lose - you're already at a healthy weight. And you said it - it's not a competition.
Stop comparing yourself to your friend - it's apples and oranges and it's clearly getting to you.
42 -
Be patient and stop feeling sorry for yourself.8
-
I use a food scale, I am very meticulous about weighing items. The only time I don't weigh is when I consume,let's say a single serving of popcorn, I'll scan it.0
-
as counter-intuitive as it sounds when I upped my calories (I have a h, m, l day that I rotate though) - I started slowly losing weight
have you calculated your BMR and TDEE? what do they tell you? 1100 calories seems really low in general3 -
Okie dokie! Keep going, it comes off slower at your weight. Patience is needed now.6
-
if you open up your diary - people on MFP who are good at that kind of thing can take a look and see if they see any issues3
-
deannalfisher wrote: »as counter-intuitive as it sounds when I upped my calories (I have a h, m, l day that I rotate though) - I started slowly losing weight
have you calculated your BMR and TDEE? what do they tell you? 1100 calories seems really low in general
BMR and TDEE? Gonna say no, because I don't know what that means. I will look into how I measure those. 1100 calories is low and I did read an article that someone had to up their calories to lose weight.1 -
BMR - basal metabolic rate - the bare minimum calories your body needs to survive excluding any exercise
TDEE - total daily energy expenditure - there are lots of different calculators out there1 -
Alatariel75 wrote: »You're overreacting.
7lbs in 35 days is more than a lb a week - that's excellent progress. 1.5 inches is a bloody decent loss in that time. When you're at a healthy weight, it comes off slower - many people at that weight would be looking at a 0.5lb loss a week.
Your friend is losing faster and can eat more because she is bigger and has a higher TDEE. It's easier and faster losing weight when you have a lot to lose - you're already at a healthy weight. And you said it - it's not a competition.
Stop comparing yourself to your friend - it's apples and oranges and it's clearly getting to you.
My first 8-10lbs came off pretty quickly, maybe 2 months once I got serious. The last lousy 4-6lbs took much longer. That was measuring, eating 1500-1800 calories a day with a 2400 or so TDEE (Total daily energy expenditure) and it got a little depressing to be honest. But I've since settled in, am extremely active at 57 years old and just finished replying to a thread of my own thanking folks here for their support
Stay with it, modify your program with advice gotten here, as needed, and try to not be so hard on yourself. You're likely doing better than you think and are just operating under some unrealistic expectations.5 -
jackiedruga wrote: »deannalfisher wrote: »as counter-intuitive as it sounds when I upped my calories (I have a h, m, l day that I rotate though) - I started slowly losing weight
have you calculated your BMR and TDEE? what do they tell you? 1100 calories seems really low in general
BMR and TDEE? Gonna say no, because I don't know what that means. I will look into how I measure those. 1100 calories is low and I did read an article that someone had to up their calories to lose weight.
Ya, don't up your calories just yet. Open your diary first. You may be making errors.2 -
I used TDEEcalculator.net to calculate and it gave 1424 for maintenance (assuming sedentary/limited working out)
https://tdeecalculator.net/result.php?s=imperial&g=female&age=52&lbs=134&in=63&act=1.2&f=14 -
You've made excellent progress. Why would you quit when you've done so well?
As already said, your friend has far more weight to lose, so will lose faster. When she's as close to her goal as you are to yours, things will change. Don't compare yourself to her. And if her progress is discouraging you, then stop paying attention to it.
The best thing I can tell you about permanent weight loss is to be patient. We all want quick results, but it doesn't happen like that. You will reach your goal if you keep working towards it. You're doing well now, so just keep at it.13 -
While I'm fairly new at this (5 months) my friend, who lost 70 lbs told me my calories were too low. I started at 1200 so I upped them & started losing wt. I think 7lbs is good! It's not good to compare. Many ppl on here have lost more than me (25lbs) in the same amount of time. If you're loosing it's progress2
-
I second both the posters above. (@queenliz99 & @Alatariel75)
Eat what MFP recommends to lose . 5 lbs a week. There is no reason whatsoever that you should be eating under 1200 cals a day.
Exercise- both cardio and weights. Exercise plus a calorie deficit, less stress and adequate sleep will help to reduce visceral fat.
Women once they enter the menopausal phase can start to retain more visceral and less subcutaneous fat due to hormonal changes and an increase in testosterone.
Have a check up- visceral fat can excaserbate IR and other hormonal related illnesses.
Some kind of weight resistance exercise plus adequate protein is important as one ages and becomes naturally more sedentary as muscle and bone density is lost more easily and is harder to regain.
I am 63 now but lost 30 lbs during menopause and have kept it off for 6+ years.
You can do it- just do it in a sensible fashion putting your health and well being first.
Cheers, h.
( success pics in my profile)
Oops a 5 min distraction by a 6 yo can add a lot of posts to a thread.10 -
THANK YOU GUY SO MUCH.
If my TDEE is 1424, then I need to come in under that to lose, right?
I really appreciate your support, this is a bad day for me and this helps.4 -
-
Increasing your calories to somehow "boost" weight loss is not scientific.
nope, not scientific, but there is anecdotal evidence - personally, I think its because I ate a lot more than I thought so when I started logging it was eye opening - but working with a dietician helped too
1 -
Maybe you should try a progressive lifting programme, it will help you lose inches, it will make you feel stronger and fitter, it will maintain those precious lean muscles and will lift you mentally. You wont bulk up or look like a man that isn't possible without extreme training.
I came on here about 4 years ago and lost 35 pounds and combined keeping to my calorie goals and lifting heavy and I felt amazing. Sadly I have had some health issues which are giving me problems and I quit smoking and put on a lot of the weight I lost but I am back on track now and will lose it again.
I only mention my own problems to say that we all go through the "I can't do this anymore" But you know what? We can do it, you can do it.
Make yourself physically stronger and you may find that mentally you become stronger as well.
Also if you are going through the menopause then yes it can make you a bit emotionally unstable maybe a supplement like Menopace might help level you out a bit. I found it really helpful when I was suffering from raging menopause.
Chin up chick you can do this.6
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 391.4K Introduce Yourself
- 43.5K Getting Started
- 259.7K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.6K Food and Nutrition
- 47.3K Recipes
- 232.3K Fitness and Exercise
- 390 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.4K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 152.7K Motivation and Support
- 7.8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.2K MyFitnessPal Information
- 22 News and Announcements
- 922 Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.3K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions