Do you find this offensive?
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judging from your picture i'm sure you find tons of things offensive. get over it
Yowch.0 -
Sounds like the real problem is that you don't respect what THEY are doing.0
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Wow, I think you are trippin hard..... Leave ppl alone, and let them eat what they want... "Glorify God" that way..... Weird..........0
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If YOU make a choice to change YOUR eating habits, why is it offensive that people make their own choice to eat what they choose. Is the whole world supposed to cater to your newfound healthy lifestyle? Sorry, but that sounds a bit childish to me. Live your life. Let others live theirs. Otherwise, you're imposing un-necessary drama on yourself.0
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You're the one on the diet. What other's eat, friends or not, is their business not yours. Getting upset over it makes absolutely no sense to me.0
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If your friends do this, then maybe start planning social stuff that doesn't involve restaurants or eating.
Good luck!
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I understand where you are coming from, but i also agree with the the below post. You are making the choice to eat healthier and make a better lifestyle for you, and you only ( i hope anyway) and while thier undying committment, and nonstop support and jump on the bandwagon would be amazing and welcomed, most likely it is not going to happen. I say this from experience. I have been on this "journey" of losing weight for 5 years, and let me tell you, when i was thinking crap, i have over 100lbs to lose and these a-holes think it's okay to eat pizza in front of me?....it set me back...but they do have the right to. They might go run 12 miles in the morning every morning and not share that with everyone. To each thier own, you just need to be strong in the fact that you are making better strides for yourself. I know it does suck tho. When you are warming up a lean cuisine and side of steamed veggies, and they frying fish sticks and tator tots ( haha, actually that sound horrid but its the first thing i came up with) anyway, just be strong in why you are doing this. Eventually it wont become so hard, and i think they'll come around to see that it's not worth it to "tempt" you if they do, and that you are sticking to your guns. It's hard- and it gets harder, no lie. i am on my last 13 -20lbs, and have been, for almost a year...TRUST ME ITS HARD...but you have plenty of support here, and you CAN do this!No, I dont think it is offensive at all. It comes a time when you need to make a choice. If you cannot handle beoing around it, dont be. I am big on the "suck it up attitude" today. Communicate to them that you dont want to be around those types of food, and if they blow you off well they arent that good if friends anyways!0
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Nope, not offensive.
It sounds like you are really focussed on your weight loss journey, but this doesn't give you any entitlement to control what everyone else eats or to be derogatory about their food choices. I'm guessing you may have eaten the odd pizza or two yourself in order to become overweight - I know I have!0 -
I don't find that offensive at all. They are eating what they are "used" to. Doing as they choose. It's not on their mind. For me trying to lose weight and eat healthy is a battle that I fight every day. I have a ton of things that I have to do and think about to stay on track. Your friends are most likely not even doing 1 little thing to try and change their habits, they are just plain old 'living'. Because of my choice to be Vegan (for 3 years now!) I'd NEVER expect one person in my group of friends or family to stop shoving dead cows in their mouths. I only cringe if I imagine taking a bite. I could care less what they do. Also I haven't eaten fast food in 3 years, I get a weak stomach if I hear about it, see it or smell it, etc. but I'm not offended. I roll my eyes sometimes because I think how can people be so ignorant to put that poison into their bodies. I care for people and want them to change, but if they aren't willing, their choices don't offend me. I am sure none of your friends wish to make you feel bad, the world is totally against us. People are always offering me doughnuts, junk, etc. I simply either throw it away when they aren't looking or deny it, etc. Good luck to you!0
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I don't think it's very nice that people are telling the OP to stop being judgmental, yet some people are clearly judging her based on the profile picture and her signature. All she did was ask a question, and while you may not agree with her, there's no need to be harsh for no reason.0
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I don't think it's very nice that people are telling the OP to stop being judgmental, yet some people are clearly judging her based on the profile picture and her signature. All she did was ask a question, and while you may not agree with her, there's no need to be harsh for no reason.
Thanks.
Yeah I guess this site isn't really the place for support I thought it was. Amazing.0 -
I don't think it's very nice that people are telling the OP to stop being judgmental, yet some people are clearly judging her based on the profile picture and her signature. All she did was ask a question, and while you may not agree with her, there's no need to be harsh for no reason.
Thanks.
Yeah I guess this site isn't really the place for support I thought it was. Amazing.
It is a great place for support...but just like in real life, some people can be less than nice.0 -
I don't think it's very nice that people are telling the OP to stop being judgmental, yet some people are clearly judging her based on the profile picture and her signature. All she did was ask a question, and while you may not agree with her, there's no need to be harsh for no reason.
I have to agree with this,yes it seems like she was being pretty judgemental to her friends but I dont see why her religion was brought into it.0 -
I don't think it's very nice that people are telling the OP to stop being judgmental, yet some people are clearly judging her based on the profile picture and her signature. All she did was ask a question, and while you may not agree with her, there's no need to be harsh for no reason.
I have to agree with this,yes it seems like she was being pretty judgemental to her friends but I dont see why her religion was brought into it.
Yup I agree that was uncalled for and totaly off the subject0 -
Why should what your friends choose to eat bother you so much? You can only control what goes into your mouth, not other peoples and I don't think it is rude of anyone to eat whatever they want to eat...stupid maybe....but not rude.0
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What I find annoying and offensive is when I eat with others and they make their choices and I make mine. THEN they note that I am eating less or choosing healthier options and they feel free to judge and call my choices "lame" or "weak" or something equally stupid. As if being a glutton is a strength. Hogs. Bah!0
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a few thoughts.
regarding the original question. you have made a life change, and that is great, however; your co-workershave NOT decided to make any changes and should have the rights to eat whatever they want to. I realize that some "ex" people go completely overboard, ex-smokers that go NUTS when they see someone smoking, ex-drinkers that condemn anyone that decides to have a glass of wine after work, and finally the former over-eaters (who are addicted to food) that think that the whole world must change to suit your new choices. It is simply foolhardy, or amazingly self-important, to assume that others will change because I made a change in my life. I have work related meetings where we are in detailed engineering meetings all day, with breakfast and lunch provided. I acknowledge that I will not have choices that fit neatly into my eating plans, so I make sure that I am prepared and bring my own food. Yes, i am surrounded by guys eating greasy pizza, but I do not make a scene, I eat in peace and I can assure you that 90%+ of the people in the room did not know, or care, that I brought in something else to eat. I think that if the draw of the food they are eating is creating an intense emotional response, then you may need to see a therapist to get a better understanding of your emotional relationship with food. I do NOT mean that as a jab in any way, and frankly do not understand why mental health would be treated as an insult in the first place. Mental health and our emotional responses to things/events in life play a huge role in addictions to food, drink, sex, etc.. I personally love the saying "there is something about that guy that I really dont like about myself". it underscores that strong emotional responses to a total stranger, or what another person is eating, are not very healthy. Food really should be treated as fuel, and not be surrounded by emotion. I am a native of New Orleans, and grew up with the "food is love" culture. I still love good food, and I am very passionate about cooking, but I have modified some of the unhealthy emotional linkages to food, and can enjoy a good meal without overeating or using food as a drug.
My second comment is that the people on MFP, taken as a whole, are good and caring people that are all sharing a common goal. I have seen a few threads were people are very abrupt in their answers and then people whine that they were expecting "support". The reality is that someone giving you a REAL answer, without sugar coating anything, is the real support. The people that just say something to make you feel better and allow you to continue bad habits are called enablers, and they are not doing you any favors. I have seen cases where someone responding takes a personal jab, and I do not feel that is called for, but I think those cases are pretty rare and it seems that the overall community of users tend to discourage that type of behavior. The people that call you on something, telling you exactly how they see it are your friends even if it might hurt to hear it at first.
to directly answer your questions/statements:
1) I have no desire to even attempt to speculate how many calories are in your cheesy bacon ranch fries, and I really don't want to know that's the best cake you've eaten in your entire life.
-GOOD.. why on earth would you want to be concerned about their food in the first place. makes no sense.
2) As "friends" they know physically and emmotionally I'm 100% in this. I have to no other choice or option but to lose weight. So why do they continue to do this?
- they continue to eat the foods that they wish to eat, when they want to eat them. They have absolutely NO reason to modify their diets or behaviors.
3) Are the oblivious to the fact that it bothers me?
-perhaps oblivious, or they have thought it through and come to the conclusion that they do not have a reason to change behavior just to cater to your desires.
4) Then when I do say something I'm some how being mean and cruel.
- In a word.. YES. you are telling other people, that have not come to an inflection point in their life that would demand a radical change in their eating habits, that they should change because you order it done by your decree. Its none of your business what I eat, if you HATE broccoli and I happen to love it.. tough dookie, i will still eat what I want.
5) Maybe I'm being crazy and blowing it way out!
-crazy might be a strong word to use, but you are blowing this out of proportion. you really need to get a handle on your emotional relationship with food, and I suspect that you also have some control issues as well.
6) Do you ever feel like the whole world is against you?
-no. i have never felt this way. I can honestly say that the whole world has no clue who I am and could really care less about what I want to eat, etc. i am a VERY important person in the lives of my close friends, and family, but like all other humans, I am of little meaning otherwise (and I am 100% ok with that).
I really want the OP, and everyone on MFP, to get to your health goals but we must all realize that we can only stay healthy if we are healthy in mind, body and soul. I have personally battled with a dysfunctional relationship with food, and when i started to work on that and fix those underlying problems, the weight just started to fall off.0 -
At first, it would annoy me. My friends, co-workers, and family eat whatever they want, whenever they want. It wasn't until I mentioned it to them that they didn't realize that it was affecting me. If I don't communicate with someone about what I think or feel, I can't expect them to know exactly what I'm thinking or feeling. It doesn't make them a jerk or oblivious. I can't expect everyone I know to start eating like me or exercising like me. I guess my will power has grown but if I'm not eating it, it's not my problem. But I will gladly let someone know how many calories they're consuming in one sitting0
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I agree with you. I try and try and I live with my BF and her boy-firend. She cooks very southern and is a fantastick cook. When she says dinner is made I hate having to tell her over and over that I am trying to lose weight and am eating what a bought.. Her comment is "whatever makes you happy". I am very worried about her she is also overweight actually more then me. Don't get me wrong I am losing for me. I just was hoping to get her onboard.
Now when they keep asking if I want a donut or cookie, cake ect. I simply say " No Thank and Thank You for your SUPPORT". Man it sucks. Cuz I know that the things I can't have are two rooms away. If they stay in the house after 3 days I announce that I am throwing it out. They tend to dissapear. LOL
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No one is under any obligation to change their lifestyle because you have. do you think you were being offensive when you were eating poorly? Seriously, sometimes the people on this site are so sanctimonious. If you don't like what others are eating, then don't eat with them.0
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