SAHM, weightloss seems overwhelming, but very unhappy with body so looking for support. Anyone else?

I am hoping to find motivation and help from others who find themselves in similar circumstances and better yet, those who have found ways to accomplish their goals in such circumstances.

I have never even posted in a discussion group, let alone started one, so this is a huge step for me. I'm a mom of a 6,3 and 2 yr old. I generally keep to myself and don't open up to people. Trying to get my life on a better track now though. Been seeking help for depressive episodes and social anxiety. I'm a military wife living over seas and a stay at home mom. We have moved 7 times in our 7 yrs of marriage which makes staying in a routine extremely difficult, and keeping friends and support group even more difficult.

I am 29, 5"3' and 168 lbs which is revolting to me. I use to be very active and fit and never let anything get me down. I was of athletic build. I was also a very self motivated person with a lot of drive and determination. I know I must still have that in me some where but I'm so tired and stressed and lonely that I'm having a hard time finding it again. I love to workout as I find it is a stress reliever and it makes me feel good. But I have 2 main problems right now:

1. I constantly have a 2 and 3 yr old with me and its difficult to find the time to exercise. I prefer to exercise without them because then it actually works as a stress reliever. But I don't live near any family nor do I have any friends to take them. My kiddos are always fighting or getting into some kind of trouble which is constantly interrupting my workout so I just end up more frustrated then when I started.

2. I push myself too hard when I exercise and burnout and have back pain. I want to do the intense workouts but have a hard time accepting that my body is different and can't handle that right now. Slow and steady was never a strong point for me. I like to throw myself into things at 100% or I don't feel like its worth the effort. I believe in always putting my best out there. So I am trying to accept that doing things slower and simpler is still exercise and I am going to be starting physical therapy for my back. I'm looking forward to what the therapist has in store for me. But it's going to take a lot to accept that just walking is enough exercise for me.

I want to lose 20 lbs by end of April, which I think is a realistic goal. Longterm I hope to get down to 130 which means losing almost 40 lbs.

I find that I eat out of stress (commonly linked to motherhood) and find comfort in diving into my secret stash of chocolate. I read way too much about what you are suppose to eat and what not to eat and all these do's and don'ts of healthy weight loss. I find myself reading it all but not acting on anything. Where do I start? Macro tracking seems to make sense to me, but is it impossible to do when you are trying to feed a group of kids that are picky eaters? I can't make seperate dinners for me and my kids all the time. I know I need more protein, but I'm a little bit picky and tend to not like to eat very much of the protein type foods. I need tips for how to get more protein in.

How do you other mothers do it? How do you manage to eat healthy when your kids are picky and how do you get the exercise in when you constantly have your little ones with you? How much do you exercise? How do you find support? My husband is gone a lot and could care less about health and fitness so he is no support at all.

Am I the only one? Sure feels like it. It would be helpful just to know there are others in similar circumstances ...