I failed ... ughhh

TryingToMakeTheRealMe
TryingToMakeTheRealMe Posts: 27 Member
edited November 14 in Fitness and Exercise
So... i had been doing some time on my elliptical.. had some snow to shovel.. but i completely ruined my whole christmas. Tried to make myself follow my plan. And i did. But then i failed. Like all the way failed. Didnt log for a few days, ate whatever. Im so mad at myself. And my husband doesn't understand. Hes always been skinny lol.. and ive always been, well. Me.

I just need to stay on track. And all. But why cant i!??!?!?!?! Ughhhhhh help.... i need a personal trainer for food and exercise!!! Lol
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Replies

  • Savagedistraction
    Savagedistraction Posts: 312 Member
    edited December 2016
  • maeveodm
    maeveodm Posts: 1 Member
    I failed too!! :( I didn't care at all over the holidays and also stopped keeping tracks a couple of months ago and gained a stone! I feel really low. Oh well, time to start over (and actually a stone more than where I was before).
  • Cylphin60
    Cylphin60 Posts: 863 Member
    For me, a ruined Christmas would mean I'd had a rubbish time, avoiding food and festivities, and generally felt miserable because I was restricting myself.

    You have not failed.you haven't ruined anything. You did "life". Start again now, keep logging and move on.

    And this.
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,615 Member
    So... i had been doing some time on my elliptical.. had some snow to shovel.. but i completely ruined my whole christmas. Tried to make myself follow my plan. And i did. But then i failed. Like all the way failed. Didnt log for a few days, ate whatever. Im so mad at myself. And my husband doesn't understand. Hes always been skinny lol.. and ive always been, well. Me.

    I just need to stay on track. And all. But why cant i!??!?!?!?! Ughhhhhh help.... i need a personal trainer for food and exercise!!! Lol

    My plan was to stop logging for about 2 weeks over Christmas. It is, after all, Christmas! :)

    But I'm still exercising because I love exercising.

    Sometime in early January, but not on January 1 - that's too cliche, I will start logging again. :)
  • robdowns1300
    robdowns1300 Posts: 152 Member
    I gained 4.9 pounds from Friday morning to Monday morning. By this morning, (Thursday), it was all back off again. Logging & CICO is a lifestyle & it works. Don't beat yourself up, stick with it & you'll be fine.
  • jagodfrey08
    jagodfrey08 Posts: 425 Member
    Meh. So you had an off week. Suck it up, brush it off, and get back on the train. I traveled, logged, worked out, operate, and retained some serious fluid this past week. Just get right back into your previous routine and don't let this minor off week set you back completely. Remember, weight loss and healthy lifestyles are marathons not sprints. Just get back into your routine and don't let it shake you.
  • basoranno
    basoranno Posts: 135 Member
    I gave in to all of the sugary goodies Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Didn't exercise. Felt like crap Sunday night. Monday I was back on track! It happens. You don't fail as long as you pick yourself up and get back to it. You can do it! Just stay positive and things will work out!
  • singletrackmtbr
    singletrackmtbr Posts: 644 Member
    What they all said. Personal trainers are always a great idea but using them for motivation won't work long term. You supply the motivation and goals, they'll give you the tools. Good luck!
  • valwalter
    valwalter Posts: 7 Member
    You didn't fail...it's a temporary setback which everyone experiences. It's harder to stay focused over the holidays - too much temptation. Remember - a setback is a setup for an awesome comeback! :)
  • Docbanana2002
    Docbanana2002 Posts: 357 Member
    edited December 2016
    You will be more successful if you let go of the all or nothing mentality. I've done all the "all the way failures" that you describe, multiple times, sometimes on repeat, sometimes worse than you describe, and somehow managed to lose 110 pounds and keep it off for over a year now and even run multiple races like a half marathon last spring and a triathlon this summer. Your problem is not that you failed miserably, it is that you have unrealistic expectations about how perfect a real life "successful at being fit" person must be, and it is setting you up to give up in despair. Your husband didn't get skinny by always being perfect and if you get skinny and healthy and fit, you won't get there by perfection either. You will get there by perseverance over the long haul. You'll have days where you are on fire with motivation, and breaking fitness records, and eating to a level of nutritional perfection that would make a dietitian smile, then on other days you will want to sit around on the couch eat a whole cake. :) That's okay. It happens to all of us mortals. Most days I'm somewhere in between those extremes, not on fire to run a marathon but getting some exercise anyway, not being nutritionally "perfect" but working some treats into a generally healthy diet and living within my calorie budget.

    The trick to success not perfection, but consistency. Forgive yourself for being a normal mortal who isn't always on the plan and settle for being generally on track-- ideally on track more hours of the day than not--and you will make gradual progress in the right direction. You'll have occasional setbacks too....and the quicker you dust yourself off and get back in the race, the better. No self defeating thoughts! Just learn what you can learn from the experience and move on with the usual plan (I've learned not to keep whole cakes in my house..... and that my most destructive setbacks often come after periods of extreme deprivation and so It is best to take things slow and steady.)
  • Joanna2012B
    Joanna2012B Posts: 1,448 Member
    esjones12 wrote: »
    You never actually fail until you stop trying.

    Today is a new day. Make it the best day you can.

    Do your best. Forget the rest.

    This right here!!
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
    It's not a failure- it's a pause- you have today to do the things.

    stop looking at it as a failure- and just do the things.

    It's not so black and white. If you stop looking at it as "pass or fail" you'll find more success.
  • Berkgal33
    Berkgal33 Posts: 71 Member
    For me, a ruined Christmas would mean I'd had a rubbish time, avoiding food and festivities, and generally felt miserable because I was restricting myself.

    You have not failed.you haven't ruined anything. You did "life". Start again now, keep logging and move on.

    This exactly. I just came back from 10 days in the Caribbean. I didn't log or "work out" for the first time in almost a year and I regret NOTHING. I'm back logging and back to the gym with wonderful memories.
  • CafeRacer808
    CafeRacer808 Posts: 2,396 Member
    As someone much smarter than me once said, the road to progress rarely follows a straight line. There are twists and turns, and sometimes you even end up going backwards for a while. If you embrace that notion and continue to stay the course, progress will be achieved.
  • maeveodm wrote: »
    I failed too!! :( I didn't care at all over the holidays and also stopped keeping tracks a couple of months ago and gained a stone! I feel really low. Oh well, time to start over (and actually a stone more than where I was before).

    @maeveodm i was really down, like really bad yesterday. Makes me mad. I make progress, good progress. Then bammmm. I fail. And when i fail i legit like terribly fail. I guess at least its good to be able to start over tho right?
  • For me, a ruined Christmas would mean I'd had a rubbish time, avoiding food and festivities, and generally felt miserable because I was restricting myself.

    You have not failed.you haven't ruined anything. You did "life". Start again now, keep logging and move on.

    @livingleanlivingclean thank you for that!! That was much needed!!!!
  • mskimee wrote: »
    I gained 5 delicious pounds over Christmas. Oh well, back on it this week. It'll be gone soon enough. We didn't fail, we just enjoyed ourselves as happens in life. I'll do the same next Christmas. And the next. In fact, new years day will probably be a calorie laden disaster. Oh well.

    @mskimee very true very true! I think sometimes i just hold myself to so many standards. This is like the only thing i fail at. Taking care of my eating and health. Urghhhhh.
  • Run_Fit wrote: »
    You went crazy for a few days, but it doesn't equal failure. You only fail when you quit.

    @Run_Fit thats a great way to look at it!!!
  • nutmegoreo
    nutmegoreo Posts: 15,532 Member
    mskimee wrote: »
    I gained 5 delicious pounds over Christmas. Oh well, back on it this week. It'll be gone soon enough. We didn't fail, we just enjoyed ourselves as happens in life. I'll do the same next Christmas. And the next. In fact, new years day will probably be a calorie laden disaster. Oh well.

    @mskimee very true very true! I think sometimes i just hold myself to so many standards. This is like the only thing i fail at. Taking care of my eating and health. Urghhhhh.

    Then stop looking at it as pass/fail, and look at it in shades of grey and a learning experience. What would you say to a friend who is in your exact position? Would you tell them they are a failure? Why do you deserve to be treated with any less respect than that which you would treat a friend? You don't need to answer these questions, but do think about them.
  • You will be more successful if you let go of the all or nothing mentality. I've done all the "all the way failures" that you describe, multiple times, sometimes on repeat, sometimes worse than you describe, and somehow managed to lose 110 pounds and keep it off for over a year now and even run multiple races like a half marathon last spring and a triathlon this summer. Your problem is not that you failed miserably, it is that you have unrealistic expectations about how perfect a real life "successful at being fit" person must be, and it is setting you up to give up in despair. Your husband didn't get skinny by always being perfect and if you get skinny and healthy and fit, you won't get there by perfection either. You will get there by perseverance over the long haul. You'll have days where you are on fire with motivation, and breaking fitness records, and eating to a level of nutritional perfection that would make a dietitian smile, then on other days you will want to sit around on the couch eat a whole cake. :) That's okay. It happens to all of us mortals. Most days I'm somewhere in between those extremes, not on fire to run a marathon but getting some exercise anyway, not being nutritionally "perfect" but working some treats into a generally healthy diet and living within my calorie budget.

    The trick to success not perfection, but consistency. Forgive yourself for being a normal mortal who isn't always on the plan and settle for being generally on track-- ideally on track more hours of the day than not--and you will make gradual progress in the right direction. You'll have occasional setbacks too....and the quicker you dust yourself off and get back in the race, the better. No self defeating thoughts! Just learn what you can learn from the experience and move on with the usual plan (I've learned not to keep whole cakes in my house..... and that my most destructive setbacks often come after periods of extreme deprivation and so It is best to take things slow and steady.)

    @Docbanana that was very amazing. Kinda made me feel like you were in my brain a little. And you hit the nail right on the head!
  • I really beat myself up over this whole christmas thing. Like really did. Lol but all the replies really made it a lot better. I love the support from everyone and all the encouragement!!! I stayed on track today and was kinda under!! I had double the amount of clients today, so i was all over the hospital and all!!! Thank you all. Making this a lot easier and all the words and advise are so awesome!
  • nutmegoreo wrote: »
    mskimee wrote: »
    I gained 5 delicious pounds over Christmas. Oh well, back on it this week. It'll be gone soon enough. We didn't fail, we just enjoyed ourselves as happens in life. I'll do the same next Christmas. And the next. In fact, new years day will probably be a calorie laden disaster. Oh well.

    @mskimee very true very true! I think sometimes i just hold myself to so many standards. This is like the only thing i fail at. Taking care of my eating and health. Urghhhhh.

    Then stop looking at it as pass/fail, and look at it in shades of grey and a learning experience. What would you say to a friend who is in your exact position? Would you tell them they are a failure? Why do you deserve to be treated with any less respect than that which you would treat a friend? You don't need to answer these questions, but do think about them.

    @nutmegoreo i know you said i dont neeeeed to answer. But i kinda felt like I wanted to lol thats a great way to look at it. Many of my friends have kids and are busy busy. They dont seeeeeeem to have the issues i do. Most of my females friends dont have problems losing weight. At all. And some friends tell me its genetic. And yeah, medical wise i get it. But. I. Want. To. Break. The. Cycle. And i want it sooooo bad. So i feel i hold myself to unrealistic goals sometimes. Weighed myself today. Down 1.2 pounds. And i was actually happy. I stress hitting a plateau because it always happens with me. I did start my prepping again. And having healthier things within reach the last day or so. Trying. Not failing. Thats how i should look at it. Just ugh lol
  • nutmegoreo
    nutmegoreo Posts: 15,532 Member
    I get it. I've been there. It took a long time to retrain my brain. To accept that as a human, things happen. As long as I stuck to my plan more often than I didn't, I knew I would see progress. All I'm saying is to be kinder to yourself and stop considering it failure. Rough days happen. As I gave myself permission to be human and to have things that I had forever told myself were forbidden, I started to actually want them less often. I still had them, but I planned for them, and they became an acceptable part of my routine.

    I still enjoy time out with my friends. I can plan on the fly. In fact, I rarely preplan my day, because I have decided to give myself permission to have higher and lower days. Sometimes you just have a day where you feel more hungry. It's okay. Because that one day will not undo all the other days where you are hitting your targets. I logged my stupidly high calorie days, and realized that in the end, they may have slowed me down for that week, but sometimes they didn't and they certainly don't stop overall progress.

    It takes time and patience, but reframe your thinking. It will lift a weight off of your shoulders, like you won't believe.
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