Big Black Women
meekamathers
Posts: 3
As an African-American female the decision to lose weight is contradictory to my communities ideal image of a woman. I feel resistance when I want to be healthy and feel support if I want to be heavy.
As a little girl I was told to gain weight, teased for my small frame, and often berated for just being a normal sized child. I dreamed of when I was going to get hips and a bubbly butt at the age of 10. Family and media encourages an unhealthy weight for Black females and criticize White women for any extra weight. Britney Spears is labeled 'sloppy' for looking, well...average, on stage. Jessica Simpson is labeled fat and ugly after performing a few pounds heavier than her teenage weight. Meanwhile, Beyonce is described as a goddess or vixen and is clearly overweight. However, I don't want it for myself. Healthy should be encouraged for ALL woman.
I am loosing weight because it's not right and it's not healthy having extra weight. I am loosing weight because I am not going to grunt, push, or tuck any part of myself to fit into a pear of jeans. I refuse to be in denial. I refuse to be a hypocrite, stating being a big black woman is how I want to be and then wear tights all of the time to conceal flabby legs.
I understand the push back I may receive from this post. I can predict the statements of " My husband/boyfriend loves my curves." I go do the club and men love my figure" and of course "I am big and beautiful."
Let me be clear.
A woman can be beautiful and be over-weight, but don't tell me she is beautiful BECAUSE she is overweight.
Lastly, it makes me wonder why Black women are pushed to be big? Why are unhealthy foods such as BBQ chips and massive 99cent sugary drinks pushed in corner stores of every Black community; meanwhile items like no-fat, low-sugar frozen yogurt and healthy hummus and pita chips in suburbs.
I am going to be a Black woman with curves- those curves will all be in the right places.
As a little girl I was told to gain weight, teased for my small frame, and often berated for just being a normal sized child. I dreamed of when I was going to get hips and a bubbly butt at the age of 10. Family and media encourages an unhealthy weight for Black females and criticize White women for any extra weight. Britney Spears is labeled 'sloppy' for looking, well...average, on stage. Jessica Simpson is labeled fat and ugly after performing a few pounds heavier than her teenage weight. Meanwhile, Beyonce is described as a goddess or vixen and is clearly overweight. However, I don't want it for myself. Healthy should be encouraged for ALL woman.
I am loosing weight because it's not right and it's not healthy having extra weight. I am loosing weight because I am not going to grunt, push, or tuck any part of myself to fit into a pear of jeans. I refuse to be in denial. I refuse to be a hypocrite, stating being a big black woman is how I want to be and then wear tights all of the time to conceal flabby legs.
I understand the push back I may receive from this post. I can predict the statements of " My husband/boyfriend loves my curves." I go do the club and men love my figure" and of course "I am big and beautiful."
Let me be clear.
A woman can be beautiful and be over-weight, but don't tell me she is beautiful BECAUSE she is overweight.
Lastly, it makes me wonder why Black women are pushed to be big? Why are unhealthy foods such as BBQ chips and massive 99cent sugary drinks pushed in corner stores of every Black community; meanwhile items like no-fat, low-sugar frozen yogurt and healthy hummus and pita chips in suburbs.
I am going to be a Black woman with curves- those curves will all be in the right places.
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Replies
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Wow, very interesting post. A lot to think about. I never realized some of the things you mention, but they make total sense. I like what you had to say, very thought-provoking. Good luck on your journey!0
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Well said. I grew up the same way.0
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welcome to mfp! being married to a Haitian man i have struggled with some of those issues. my black family/ friends say i look great, big and beautiful; all my white family/ friends give bad looks and question how much i've gained . . . go figure. now i try not to worry about what people around me are saying, and i'm listening to my doctor, the facts and how much better i feel. we are at higher risks for many diseases that are completely avoidable if we controlled our diet and exercised more.
i think its terrible that the junk food is soooo cheap and the good food choices seem out-of-reach for many because of the prices. congrats on your progress already and again, welcome!0 -
Hi! I'm a big black woman who has never wanted to be. It's funny that you bring up others views on black women and their size. My own doctor says I am healthy, but I am definitely overweight!0
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Wow, very interesting post. A lot to think about. I never realized some of the things you mention, but they make total sense. I like what you had to say, very thought-provoking. Good luck on your journey!
I agree 100%. I had never thought of these issues... and I think that more people need to see this as well. I wish you the best of luck in your journey towards health and wellness, and good for you for standing up for yourself!0 -
I think you make really, really good points on a topic I'd never given much thought to. I hope that you reach your goals and can be a role model for other girls who feel conflicted about health vs. conforming to their community's expectations. Actually, regardless of your weight loss success, I think your attitude is exemplary.
(But I was totally expecting that this was a post by some misinformed-about-MFP guy looking for cybersex.)
-LP0 -
I don't think Beyonce is overweight.0
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wow this was very interesting! thanks
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I love your post!!! You told the truth girl!!!! NUFF SAID!!!!0
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I didn't like being skinny I was always told to gain weight. And I'm white. I longed for hips as well.
I don't think Beyonce is overweight though.
But, i can't say I know the black perspective, because I am not.0 -
awwwwww yeeeeahhh, u go girl!
I love the rant
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I don't think Beyonce is overweight.0
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I feel your pain. I'm 5'1 and 147 lbs. my family can't seem to understand why I need to lose weight. My mother even accused me of wanting to be like "those skinny white girls". I know that it is a double edged sword, I just want to be on the healthy side of the sword. I don't want disease to take me over and I want my children to learn healthy habits. It is so very difficult in our community where "good" food involves so much fat. Anyway, you can do this, we can do this. Thanks for sharing your story its encouraging to not feel so alone in this battle.0
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I don't think Beyonce is overweight.
Same here.:ohwell:0 -
I don't think Beyonce is overweight.
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I Don't think Beyonce is over weight either. Good luck on your weight loss journey.0 -
Lastly, it makes me wonder why Black women are pushed to be big? Why are unhealthy foods such as BBQ chips and massive 99cent sugary drinks pushed in corner stores of every Black community; meanwhile items like no-fat, low-sugar frozen yogurt and healthy hummus and pita chips in suburbs.
It's not just black women honey. I live in a poor community and there are more unhealthy foods available than healthy foods. It's all about cost. Pasta is cheap and unhealthy, therefore; it is plentiful.
You have the right mindset and that is what will make you a winner. Or...should I say in this case - a looser.0 -
I always wondered why it was "acceptable" to be larger if you were a black woman, but taboo if you were a white woman. I am a white woman, and I have never been tiny. I was comfortable and looked good at 180lb, but many people of my race commented that I needed to lose weight. I can't even count how many times I have heard "You'd be so pretty if you lost a little weight". I thought to myself, I am pretty even at 180lb, this is how I am comfortable and most important, I am healthy.
On the flip side, black men were always attracted to me, and actually liked the way I looked.
This subject has always confused me. My goal, and the goal of every woman (white, black, asian, hispanic, etc) should be to maintain a weight that is both healthy and makes them feel good about themselves. At 180lbs, I was both healthy and felt good. Us women have it hard having to deal with the constant critiques of others and horrible representations of how women should be in the media.
You do YOU, if you feel you want to lose weight and knwo that you will be improving your health and the way you feel about yourself, YOU DO THAT! We will always be here on MFP to support you and encourage you!0 -
beyonce isn't overweight - she went through a period of being VERY curvy but even then she wasn't overweight, when I weigh 150 pounds I look pretty chunky but I'm within a healthy weight. And now she's lost a lot of that, I doubt she is anywhere NEAR the upper range for her weight.
And Jessica Simpson was not a few pounds over her teenager weight, she was over 200 easily - but you do have a point here as I personally thought she looked good still, she is incredibly lucky to pack on weight in a curvy weigh, even though I could see she was very heavy she carried it fantastically. I think if she had been black she wouldn't have gotten nearly as criticized for it.
anyway tell your friends and family they are nuts, there is nothing that looks better than being healthy. And if your healthy body doesn't come with a bubble butt, oh well.0 -
I don't think Beyonce is overweight.
I don't either, although her weight fluctuates fairly often as do many normal women's weights. I think when a stage performer goes up or down people pay way too much attention. Maybe she just wasn't on tour and dancing 5 hours a day when she goes up those apparently important 5 lbs. If she were your coworker and not a performer, no one would notice her weight fluctuations. Of course, she wouldn't spend as much time in public barely dressed if she were your coworker either.
I remember reading an article years ago about a study whose conclusion was that African-American women don't tie their self-esteem as closely to their weight as do caucasian women of similar ages. OP's post just reminded me of that article. Not being AA myself, I don't know if that study was accurate or not. Interesting though!0 -
amen sista! you won't receive any backlash from me! i definitely think there's a cultural difference in the standard of beauty. as black women, stereotypically we are all 'supposed' to be 'thick' and heavier than others, i was also teased for my small frame and STILL get crap from others because i work out and watch what i eat. i think it all started with songs like 'baby got back' and the like. there's nothing wrong with celebrating our curves, but our history is laced with 'traditional african american' cuisine that's known for causing diabetes and high blood pressure (i.e. pork, fried foods etc). and yes, i've noticed the separation of healthy vs. unhealthy food. it's interesting how most organic and wholesome foods tend to be pricier while processed foods are more bargain-friendly. and because we live in a capitalistic society, supply and demand stands, meaning that lower income neighborhoods are more prone to unhealthy foods being placed near or within them, while the more expensive stuff is reserved for upper/middle class. i would say that food availability would be more applicable to economical status.0
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I do agree that there is a double standard when it comes to what is considered acceptable in terms of size for black women vs. white women, but I am part of a community of black women who do want to be healthy, who are not in favor of being overweight, and who embrace a more healthy lifestyle. I was 260 lbs and lost down to 180, but I was never criticized for wanting to lose weight, I had nothing but cheers of support from family and friends. I think when women want to lose weight to embrace a superficial image of beauty, thats when its criticized. I realize and accept I will never be a petite size 2 or 4, and this just fine w/ me. I'm happy at my present weight which is 185 and a size 10/12. That may be considered overweight by society's standards, but I am actually more healthy and fit than many people smaller than I am.
I personally have never seen a case where a heavy black woman is preferred over a heavy white woman. From what I have experienced, heavy black women catch alot more flack about weight than heavy white women. I think the reason black women handle being overweight alot easier, is because we come from a background where we have heavy family members and heavy friends, so we don't stand out, where alot of times white women tend to be thinner in general, so when a white woman is heavier it's more obvious. Also, white people have always been celebrated as being diet and exercise conscious and the black race, not so much. Now that is rapidly changing as w/ the black race having statisically higher incidences of diabetes, hypertension, and heart disease, we are embracing more healthy living.
Weight, diet, fitness, should never be a race issue, but due to how alot of us have been raised, taught, and exposed to, there are some color lines. All of us should embrace healthy living, not fit in to ideal weight standards, or anyone's standards, but because it benefits our health and quality of life.0 -
I think you're missing an important point - many Black women naturally have curves. Beyonce is not overweight. You can have a huge *kitten* and have abs. Look at Serena Williams. It's should never be acceptable to have a gut and chow down on fried chicken all day; belly fat is dangerous, but for those women who naturally have *kitten*, hips, thighs, and breasts no matter how hard they work out and diet, they should embrace who they are. You sound really resentful for not being one of those women. It's true that there are many misguided beliefs when it comes to diet and exercise in the Black community, but a lot of that has political and social underlying factors. Why do most McDonald's commercials target Black audiences? Research and do your history. It's not our fault, but it's definitely time for us to stop being the victim and do something about it.0
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i mean we see this all the time don't we? even mo'nique wrote a book on 'why skinny *****es are evil'...0
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Ok, I understand where you're coming from, I'm a big black woman and proud of it girl!
...But am I proud of bein jiggly? Hell No! Thats why I'm on this site, to tone up, to be healthy, and not be considered overweight. I have to disagree with you when you said Beyonce is overweight. Look at her stomach, arms, back. She has no fat there. So she has big thighs. I agree with everyone, black women tend to have bigger curves, so she has hers toned to the MAX and I'm sure if she wanted skinny thighs she would be eating a lot unhealthier. Just sayin, She's my role model.
There are a lot of southern white people who are overweight as well. Mexicans too! EVERYONE stuggles with weight in ALL races and creeds.
Sorry that you were brought up to believe that bigger is beautiful. It happens to so many young african americans. As research develops, and we become more knowledgeable about weight and health, maybe someday things will change. But for now, it's so easy for people to grab McDonalds on their way home from work because it's easier and cheaper in this recession.
Eating healthy has a lot to do with money. Why is it chips and soda are on sale at the grocery store 2 for 1 but strawberries and organic veggies are always expensive? Why is it that every Thanksgiving there is always TONS of leftover food at my Aunt's house? There are so many factors that go along with race and stereotypes of being BIG and black.
As long as you're healthy and comfortable with your body, you do your thang girl. 0 -
WOW the responses on this were unexpected and are welcome! I do want to clarify the Beyonce issue so it doesn't become the focus. Nobody on the web, including myself, will ever know her weight. (In fact, she even lied about her age, giving herself a 6 year age drop that wasn't even revealed to around 2006!)I think you're missing an important point - many Black women naturally have curves. Beyonce is not overweight. You can have a huge *kitten* and have abs. Look at Serena Williams. It's should never be acceptable to have a gut and chow down on fried chicken all day; belly fat is dangerous, but for those women who naturally have *kitten*, hips, thighs, and breasts no matter how hard they work out and diet, they should embrace who they are. You sound really resentful for not being one of those women. It's true that there are many misguided beliefs when it comes to diet and exercise in the Black community, but a lot of that has political and social underlying factors. Why do most McDonald's commercials target Black audiences? Research and do your history. It's not our fault, but it's definitely time for us to stop being the victim and do something about it.
I will agree with everyone and say she is curvy, VERY curvy. The fact that people strongly state that she isn't overweight MAY be a product of our image of what overweight looks like. I use the term overweight as described through the BMI scale. So, if she is 5'7 (give or take, I can't prove height either) she would be considered overweight at 160 pounds or above. So if all those curves can be in 140 or 159 pounds, okay. But that really isn't the point of the post.
There is no evidence, research, or data or really anything to support your statement that Black women are "naturally" overweight. Our bodies (when I say our I mean White, Black, Latina, Asian, ALL) are not designed to be overweight. People who are overweight are more likely to incur high blood pressure, high levels of blood fats, and LDL cholesterol -- all risk factors for heart disease and stroke. Notice I wrote overweight not just obese. That information is derived from the CDC 2010 report. And if you believe Black women are still just naturally bigger, why would deaths from heart disease and stroke are close to twice the rate for Blacks as compared to Whites? That's right, death. African American bodies aren't designed for extra weight. It is not natural it's not biology to be big and die early. It's multiple society factors, including that McDonalds commercial, including statements like its natural for Black women that put us in a dangerous mindset. Knowing it's a choice makes us the opposite of a victim, but a person in control. I hold no resentment towards big black women, or curvy black women. Resentment of other implies I don't know. Well, I was overweight so the experience is there. The tone you hear is not resentment, but a person knowledgeable about her surroundings, her society, and her body. That's a tone of a person resisting what others say is 'natural'.
Thanks to all the comments! Good luck in everyone's healthy journey.0 -
you should start a blog0
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you should start a blog0
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Eurocentric standards of beauty say that one must be thin in order to be beautiful. However, in the history of our culture, being overweight was a symbol of beauty and wealth.
As far as Beyonce goes, I can't say I know her body fat percentage, but she definitely isn't pressured to be stick-think like some of her pop-singing counterparts.
African-Americans have a rich culture in food that dates back hundreds of years, all the way to our beginnings in America. It's not just common for us to eat fatty foods, it's ritualistic. Mac and cheese isn't mac and cheese without the loads of cheese. This is really the only way we know to stick to our culture and keep hold of the little identity that we have in common with our ancestors.
Then, look at the Italians eating their pasta and the Japanese eating their rice, and ask why WE are getting bigger at a faster rate than other ethnicities and races...
Food deserts. Lots of blacks live in food deserts. This means that there is probably a convenience store closer to them than a grocery store. That is definitely true for me. I won't go into systematic racism, food stamps and WIC, government subsidies... but we have to find a way to change our eating habits while still holding on to some things from the past, like pride and strength.0 -
I may be mistaken, but I believe certain ethnicities and populations actually genetically are pre-disposed to having a higher body fat percentage.0
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WOW the responses on this were unexpected and are welcome! I do want to clarify the Beyonce issue so it doesn't become the focus. Nobody on the web, including myself, will ever know her weight. (In fact, she even lied about her age, giving herself a 6 year age drop that wasn't even revealed to around 2006!)
I will agree with everyone and say she is curvy, VERY curvy. The fact that people strongly state that she isn't overweight MAY be a product of our image of what overweight looks like. I use the term overweight as described through the BMI scale. So, if she is 5'7 (give or take, I can't prove height either) she would be considered overweight at 160 pounds or above. So if all those curves can be in 140 or 159 pounds, okay. But that really isn't the point of the post.
DEATH TO BMI. It is unnecessary. If you are 10-20 above what the BMI chart shays you should be, that weight could be muscle. If you are 100 pounds heavier that what the chart suggests, you probably don't need a chart at that point to tell you that you need to lose weight. Better indicators are yoour hip to waist ratio (at which Beyonce probably fares pretty well) and your body fat percentage (where she may also do well, but could probably use a bit of toning). But, I still see your point; no one is calling her fat, but they're calling size 4 models fat.0
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