Judgemental people on MFP

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  • sexforjaffacakes
    sexforjaffacakes Posts: 1,001 Member
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    I don't think people were disgusted at her weight, I think they were more disgusted by the salad itself. And if you put videos of youtube of yourself stuffing your face/making a ridiculous recipe, you are asking for it. Youtube is a public site where people aren't looking for support, just attention!
  • katberz
    katberz Posts: 123
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    I saw the video and the salad looked like it could feed at least 20 people, which makes it around 340 cals per serving. No that's not great but it's certainly not the heart attack in a bowl some people were making it out to be. To be honest, I think some of the people commenting weren't horrified so much by the salad but rather the size of the woman making it, which says way more about them than anyone or anything else.
  • megruder
    megruder Posts: 216
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    I couldn't make it past page 2 on that thread. It is a further example of why I both loathe and love the Internet, as it seems to bring the worst and the best out of people usually not coming from the same individual. For me it is hard to read and see the hate and self-righteousness that spews from some individuals and I think that is why I've pretty much isolated myself within small groups of people when I'm on a social site such as this one. I actively search out those people that bring positive energy into my virtual life and ignore those that do not. It's not easy, but I saves me from worrying what has happened to us as a society.

    Edited to add: I would argue that just because someone has posted something on the Internet it doesn't give ANYONE the right to demean, criticize or shame another human being. We all have the right to be acknowledged as human beings and sometimes that means wanting some attention. There is nothing wrong with wanting attention as long as he or she is not attempting to gain attention through self-destructive or illegal behaviors.
  • Mother4Jesus
    Mother4Jesus Posts: 38 Member
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    It seems to me that alot of people forget from where they came. SOrry to hear it.
  • Schwiggity
    Schwiggity Posts: 1,449 Member
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    I like how everyone is trying to justify the recipe. Why do you care so much about what people think about a public video? The recipe was disgustingly unhealthy no matter how many servings were in it. The woman was also morbidly obese, and that cooking wasn't helping, and despite what anyone says about being "fat and happy" when you get winded after going up one flight of stairs, you're not happy. I don't care what she does to her body, but everyone needs to get off their high horse, acting like every person they've thought nothing but happy thoughts about every person they've come across in their life.
  • ajbeans
    ajbeans Posts: 2,857 Member
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    everyone needs to get off their high horse, acting like every person they've thought nothing but happy thoughts about every person they've come across in their life.

    Sure, I think nasty stuff about people sometimes. We're all human, we all do it. But we DON'T all talk about it in such a public manner that that person could find it or hear it. That's the issue.
  • Schwiggity
    Schwiggity Posts: 1,449 Member
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    everyone needs to get off their high horse, acting like every person they've thought nothing but happy thoughts about every person they've come across in their life.

    Sure, I think nasty stuff about people sometimes. We're all human, we all do it. But we DON'T all talk about it in such a public manner that that person could find it or hear it. That's the issue.

    You really think she thinks her recipes are healthy? Nobody is that naive.
  • katberz
    katberz Posts: 123
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    I like how everyone is trying to justify the recipe. Why do you care so much about what people think about a public video? The recipe was disgustingly unhealthy no matter how many servings were in it. The woman was also morbidly obese, and that cooking wasn't helping, and despite what anyone says about being "fat and happy" when you get winded after going up one flight of stairs, you're not happy. I don't care what she does to her body, but everyone needs to get off their high horse, acting like every person they've thought nothing but happy thoughts about every person they've come across in their life.

    It's funny you're telling people to get off their high horse when you seem to be nearly touching the sky there yourself.
  • ajbeans
    ajbeans Posts: 2,857 Member
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    everyone needs to get off their high horse, acting like every person they've thought nothing but happy thoughts about every person they've come across in their life.

    Sure, I think nasty stuff about people sometimes. We're all human, we all do it. But we DON'T all talk about it in such a public manner that that person could find it or hear it. That's the issue.

    You really think she thinks her recipes are healthy? Nobody is that naive.

    When did I say that? My issue was not with people criticizing the recipe, although I have seen that stuff served at potlucks numerous times in my life. The point of macaroni salad is not to be healthy, which is why I try not to eat it anymore. My issue was with people making fun of her appearance.
  • suzycreamcheese
    suzycreamcheese Posts: 1,766 Member
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    maybe if she did find it or hear it, it might encourage her to look at her weight and her diet?
    I dont think that would be the worst thing in the world.
    the slim chance that she might read a derogatory comment about her weight, when shes actually at the stage when she cant open a bag of carrots or talk properly without getting out of breath, its probably the least of her worries
  • jaretspencer
    jaretspencer Posts: 19 Member
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    You know life is to short to worry about the little minded people that are judgmental the will always try to bring you down. I"m to busy to deal with that so its mind over matter I dont mind so they dont matter.
  • oBirdieo
    oBirdieo Posts: 148
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    I clicked through a few of her videos and she doesn't allow comments on any of them, which tells me that the woman is fully aware of a) what she looks like, b) her poor choices when it comes to food, and c) what people think of her. NO comments allowed = she's either in denial or flat out doesn't care.

    I think it's strange that some people seem to think that fat people don't judge other fat people. I'm fat and I totally judge other fat people. Hypocritical? Yes. Human nature? Yes. Am I trying to do something about it? Yes.
  • Kayamooh
    Kayamooh Posts: 45 Member
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    Your words should always be sugar coated since you never know when you will have to eat them... lol

    That's a great saying - and very true!!
  • songbyrdsweet
    songbyrdsweet Posts: 5,691 Member
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    I clicked through a few of her videos and she doesn't allow comments on any of them, which tells me that the woman is fully aware of a) what she looks like, b) her poor choices when it comes to food, and c) what people think of her. NO comments allowed = she's either in denial or flat out doesn't care.

    I think it's strange that some people seem to think that fat people don't judge other fat people. I'm fat and I totally judge other fat people. Hypocritical? Yes. Human nature? Yes. Am I trying to do something about it? Yes.

    I agree. When I was overweight I tended to be more judgmental because I was very self-conscious and noticed in others what I didn't like about my own body. Everyone judges, it's simply a comparison of yourself to another person. I think you can objectively look at that video and say that salad is very high in calories, the woman is morbidly obese, and you can hear her breathing heavily on the video. Whatever you do with that information is your own business. I didn't say anything on MFP, but I had my own judgments and thoughts about it.
  • portexploit
    portexploit Posts: 378 Member
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    I read the post more carefully, and I watched the video and read the original topic on this macaroni salad. The original post of the salad, I am pretty sure she was being sarcastic. I read one page of the comments. They do have a point, I don’t think they criticized the member, they made their comments. Maybe on page 2 or 3 it was worse. I personally do like macaroni salad, I never thought of it but I can consider it a favorite food. I rarely do eat it. I really don’t see a problem with anything. The only problem I do see is the constant bickering in the forums, which is pretty pathetic, we’re all supposed to support one another, not bring each other down.
  • Mbelzner10
    Mbelzner10 Posts: 39
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    Wish there was a like button on here.
  • _Sally_
    _Sally_ Posts: 514 Member
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    I with you... I think people not only forget where they came from but have a fear of going back there again. Your words should always be sugar coated since you never know when you will have to eat them... lol

    Agreed. Most bullies, etc are motivated by FEAR and their own insecurities. Says more about them than what they are actually commenting on.

    We are all on our own journeys. Best to tune all that stuff out and not read those threads. It is also not representative of the majority of folks on MFP. You can choose to have a good experience on MFP or focus on the negativity and take it personally.

    When you are kayaying, should you focus on the rocks that could trip you up or the open water that will provide you smooth passage? Keep your eyes focused and aim for the open water ahead and you will reach your destination!
  • pumpkinmoccasin
    pumpkinmoccasin Posts: 316
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    I think there's a lot of people (myself included) that watching that video made sad for the woman because she clearly doesn't care about the dangerous condition she's in (having someone film her, putting notations of exactly how many calories is in the entire bowl, and disabling comments on youtube means she knows the reaction it's going to get out of people)... It's obvious she was really struggling and as people trying so hard to make an effort to change their lives, some people might be angered by this blatant disregard of healthfulness that she's displaying... That's why I think some people were quick to judge on that thread. I'm not justifying some of the things that people said that were downright mean, just trying to give logical reason why people would say such things...

    The internet's anonymity brings out the worst in otherwise good-natured people, especially if they're steered in that direction. I think the thread was posted harmlessly intentended as a shock to MFP users to have a look at where they might have come from and it spiraled out of control... But that's me trying to see the good intentions of people, falliable as they are.
  • Thriceshy
    Thriceshy Posts: 707 Member
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    I refused to even read the thread. There are some really wonderful people here. And there are a few real gits, people who seem to be missing that tact and sensitivity chip. People who seem to feel better about themselves when they're knocking others down. People who should know better than to attack others for size--especially here, you know?

    Next time you see a thread like that, just walk on by. Let the meanies have their feeding frenzy and stick to the friendlier places.

    Kris
  • SkateboardFi
    SkateboardFi Posts: 1,322 Member
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    Theres a big big difference between someone morbidly obese whos actually trying to make positive lifestyle changes and helping themselves, and someone morbidly obese posting a video of themselves making something so disgustingly fatty and sugary that it would make most people vomit. A big difference.

    A lot of people here get their diets HEAVILY criticised. To their face. Its not uncommon. A lot of people here get comments that their BMI is low, theyre going to be repulsive to men. I actually very rarely see any criticisms of people who are overweight, and quite right too.
    On the other hand, you put yourself out there on a youtube video like this, and you are ASKING for peoples opinions. Not all are going to be nice. Its not some utopia we live in. There are also gonna be people out there who think she looks amazing. After all, isnt there that chick who gets paid for people to watch her eat online. Theres a huge market for BBW porn etc, whatever floats your boat. There are also gonna be people that think it doesnt look nice, and shock horror, there are going to be people that make fun to a certain extent.
    If me, or anyone else was following her round the internet, or approaching her in public to tell her what i thought of how she looked, then that would be really bad and out of order, but to comment on someone - IN JEST, whos not even here, and chances are shes not going to see it. Its a pretty minor crime in the grand scheme of things. Ive read some pretty mean comments on here by people many many times about people they consider too thin. I read it ALL THE TIME, and yes i notice, because a lot of the things they say are repulsive, are things i have, and things i dont actually like about my body, whereas noone would say to an overweight person, well you need to lose a bit more, your BMI is a bit repulsive etc. In actual fact i think people are VERY sensitive towards overweight people. Maybe thats why the vast majority of people are so complacent about their weight, even when its got into the heart attack/diabetes/stroke waiting to happen stage.

    exactly.

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