Judgemental people on MFP

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  • bunchesonothing
    bunchesonothing Posts: 1,015 Member
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    I don't care what she does to her body, but everyone needs to get off their high horse, acting like every person they've thought nothing but happy thoughts about every person they've come across in their life.

    Agreed.

    I don't have to sugar coat my words, any of them, because no matter what anyone has to say about them, I stand by them.

    I really didn't say anything in that thread, but people are people. We all have judgments about other people. We are ALL judgmental. Someone is no less judgmental because they keep their mouth shut. You just know less about who they are and what they are thinking. I like someone more when I know how I stand with them. That being said, don't be a jerk, but there is nothing wrong with saying that that girl was not healthy, and that her food choices might have lead to it.

    People are so sensitive now, that when someone dares speak the truth, they are a jerk.

    And I also think that too many people take what others say about others, as though they are saying it about themselves. Read what is said... Don't read into things. It makes things 10x more offensive sounding.
  • TheBraveryLover
    TheBraveryLover Posts: 1,217 Member
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    I just read that thread after reading the comments in this thread. I skipped it cause the subject, initially, didn't interest me. Someone made fun of the woman's face - from a 35 year old poster at that! Wow. These people. LOL Anyway, all you can do is laugh and skip the immaturity.
  • suzycreamcheese
    suzycreamcheese Posts: 1,766 Member
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    i also think some people have no sense of humour.

    Most good comedy is taking the p1ss out of someone or another
  • RangerSteve
    RangerSteve Posts: 437
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    While there are some people who just don't care about themselves, they still shouldn't be judged. At the least offer them some encouraging advice. But if somebody still chooses to eat themselves to death then I just accept that as "their" decision. Most people judge anyway because of their own insecurities. I used to work with a guy who was into bodybuilding & he said he refused to be seen with a girl who wasn't in great shape. Now if that doesn't sound insecure.

    Completely false. The problem with your logic is that it assumes people who live their life how they want don't affect the rest of us. I took the EMT course awhile back and I remember my ride along and ER time veeeery well. Constant heart issues from obese people, obese people with breathing problems, obese people with diabetic problems, obese people falling over and not being able to get up. This costs tax-payers a fortune. Lots and lots and lots of money.

    Sure, live your life how you want but the minute you start affecting my quality of life because you don't want to take personal responsibility for yourself, well, we have a problem.
  • rgprn
    rgprn Posts: 66 Member
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    As best you can, try to avoid such as that! Often people don't think before they start spewing out all their knowledge! Some people
    are just mean. You know your heart and you know your challenges. Take it day at a time and get encouragement from the select few on this site that ENCOURAGE you. I have 30 #s to lose and that seems so monumental to me. When I see people w/100+ to lose I have the greatest admiration for them! Im in awe of those that are trying and even more so at those that succeed. You be one of those....not so you wont be one of those that people look down on, but for your own health and self respect. I certainly hope
    I said the words the way my heart is feeling them. BTW if you haven't looked at Miss South Carolina's story of weight loss...google her. I can't even remember her name, but if you don't find it, friend me and I'll get the information. What an inspiration. Good luck to you and God bless!!
    Rosa from TN
  • RangerSteve
    RangerSteve Posts: 437
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    OK no I have never been overweight so maybe I am not sensitive in that regard.. but I am not overweight because I have never let myself get to that point. Maybe I feel I can say this because I have never gotten there, and because well lets face it I have a big mouth (Yeah I said it.. whatever.) because when I see something wrong I can't help myself soo...

    Oh, cool. A thin person come to tell all us fatties that we aren't capable of being functional members of society. Marvy.

    Funny, according to you, we're fat even though we could "easily" choose not to be, but you "can't help" but run off at the keyboard and insult folks? Really? You're just helpless to keep those fingers still?

    Hey, if I can keep from going over 1,600 calories a day, you can keep from beating us down with your ill-considered opinions about who we are and why we're how we are. If your post was meant to be "supportive," I cringe to think what would spring from your keyboard with less kindly intentions.

    Kris

    Did you ever read what she wrote? Someone who is at an advanced stage of obesity can't function in normal society. Go on a bus, a plane, a car, through normal doors, etc. Things have to be altered in order to accommodate people at that stage. No one is saying being overweight makes you a non-functioning member of society but being obese to the point where you can't function like a human being does.

    I didn't watch the salad video by the way so I have no idea how obese the person was.
  • rgprn
    rgprn Posts: 66 Member
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    I just opened the thread about the 6805 cal salad and watched the video. I then read the comments on the thread. I had to stop on the third page because of some of the comments from people here. I am morbidly obese. Yes, I am doing something about it now, but I've done something about it before, got 'normal' and ended up here again. All I could think when I was reading those posts is "That's what people think about me". You know what? That doesn't spur me on to lose weight, that upsets me and although it won't, as I'm feeling strong, could send me (and others) straight for the cookie jar (or should I say the 6805 calorie salad, as obviously that's what all fat people stuff down their gullet for breakfast, eh?).

    No-one knows anything about that poor woman but so many are judging her. I think some people forget how easy it was to gain weight in the first place once they start their 'healthy lifestyle' and act all holier than thou.

    Just makes me very sad.

    Edited to add: I'm not posting this to say, oh woe is me, you hurt my feelings, (I'm over that already!) but rather that we should maybe stop and think about how our 'words' can affect others, we're all in this together, aren't we? Some people are very fragile and that could send them running for the hills.
  • rgprn
    rgprn Posts: 66 Member
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    duplicate
  • brit49
    brit49 Posts: 461 Member
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    I don't think people were disgusted at her weight, I think they were more disgusted by the salad itself. And if you put videos of youtube of yourself stuffing your face/making a ridiculous recipe, you are asking for it. Youtube is a public site where people aren't looking for support, just attention!




    I was not disgusted at her weight, I thought it was a unhealthy choice of a salad , even i serving. We are all in the same boat. Very hard weight loss journey
  • suzycreamcheese
    suzycreamcheese Posts: 1,766 Member
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    I didn't watch the salad video by the way so I have no idea how obese the person was.

    if you go on youtube and search for Simply Sara -- Wanda's Macaroni Salad
  • HopefulLeigh
    HopefulLeigh Posts: 363 Member
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    I think people are forgetting that this woman wasn't an innocent mfp member, she is a woman making a spectacle of herself on the internet. Dyou think people watch her videos for those lovely wholesome recipes? or because it's a fat lady making incredibly disgusting fatty food? You have the right to judge anyone that posts videos on youtube, that's what they're there for. It's like saying you can't judge models or tv stars because it might hurt their feelings - I think people are being more harsh about the poeple judging that woman, than the people were that judged the woman in the first place!

    ^^ Exactly.

    Did I judge "SimplySara"? Yes, I did. She is morbidly obese, making ridiculously unhealthy foods and is putting herself out there on Youtube to be judged. From all appearances, she is not doing anything to help her weight.

    As for the statements that that recipe probably contains 20 servings, do you really think that she's following proper serving sizes? It doesn't look like it.

    Have I forgotten where I've come from? No. At 14, I weighed well over 200 pounds. Even my health teacher made snide comments to me. I was gross. I was fat. And I did something to remedy it. So yes, I absolutely judge, but that doesn't mean that I forget where I was. I judge myself the most harshly.
  • Soziberry
    Soziberry Posts: 115
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    I have just watched the video and I am shocked plus a little sad. This lady maybe extreme but typical of most people who have no clue about food. I think since losing weight, it does make us more observant to everyone elses eating habits. I often look in someone elses shopping cart to see what they buy/feed their families with. I am not surprised with the overweight shopper but many skinny people also have extremely poor diet and they eat all sorts of processed crap but only eat 1 meal a day so stay slim. We all need educating, where are everyone when these things are on TV? Jamie Oliver, Biggest Loser and many others? Are they just choosing to ignore "preachers" or don't see themselves as being in need to change?
  • Monica_has_a_goal
    Monica_has_a_goal Posts: 694 Member
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    Well I'm going to throw in my two cents.. I come here to lose weight and If I post anything, I take the good and leave the bad for someone else to handle. I don't allow people to get to me since I KNOW why I"m here! To cry, laugh. and Work hard together! I don't have time for the inconsiderate comments since, like stated before, we have all been there! Every last one of us who's trying to lose weight knows how it is to be out of control with our own eating habits.

    I'm sorry if anyone has hurt your feelings. Please accept my apology on their behalf.

    Everyone here loves to encourage or at least that has been my awesome experience. I hope yours is a lil better everyday! :flowerforyou:
  • Painten
    Painten Posts: 499 Member
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    I saw the original thread and i saw the video. I also looked at a couple of her other videos. There were a couple that didn't look too bad to me.

    Strangely enough the only video that offered calorie information was that pasta dish. Seemed a bit weird to me, almost like it was meant to provoke.

    Also noticed that all comments had been disabled on all of the vids she's obviously had negative comments previously.
  • myofibril
    myofibril Posts: 4,500 Member
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    All this...over a salad? If it was a nice salad nicoise I could have understood but this is ridiculous.

    Everyone gets judged, both positively and negatively, by the way they look. That's the way of the world.

    In my opinion if the views of random, in reality completely unimportant, people on the internet effect your emotional state to a significant degree then your issues run much deeper than your simple physical appearance. You can train your body to be stronger, more robust and more resilient to attack. Why therefore do so few people do the same with their minds and emotional states?

    Treat MFP as a virtual dry run of the real world. Is everyone going to be nice and complimentary to you in RL? No. That won't change even if you slim down. Best get some practice in...
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
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    You can train your body to be stronger, more robust and more resilient to attack. Why therefore do so few people do the same with their minds and emotional states?

    THIS! :smile:

    I was picked on - A LOT - having four older brothers and being a geeky little wimp with weird hobbies as a kid. After a while, I became immune to it. Either someone is clueless and ignorant when they say something offensive, in which case, I'm not going to take it to heart because it's not meant personally. Or they are actually trying to be offensive, in which case, they're just great big poopie-heads and not worth feeling bad about.

    I learned that at 13, and I was a very sensitive, emotional kid.
  • Andythefitfamilyman
    Andythefitfamilyman Posts: 420
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    everyone needs to get off their high horse, acting like every person they've thought nothing but happy thoughts about every person they've come across in their life.

    Sure, I think nasty stuff about people sometimes. We're all human, we all do it. But we DON'T all talk about it in such a public manner that that person could find it or hear it. That's the issue.

    Youtube is a public site.. she PUT herself in the public eye. No one says that we shouldn't criticize Antoine Dodson or "David Goes to Dentist" or whatever overnight celebrities are out there.. it's okay when it's funny but it's not okay to talk about it when there's a problem that someone has?!

    OK .. Yes some of the comments on that post were mean to say and out of order and could have been phrased differently to not hurt people but I'm going to say this .. facts are facts. We're all adults. We need to grow up and accept the truth. Yes she is MORBIDLY obese and yes it's NOT ok to let yourself be that way. Some of you should stop reading now if you can't handle this...

    IT IS NOT POSSIBLE FOR SOMEONE TO BE A FUNCTIONAL MEMBER OF SOCIETY AT THAT STAGE IN THEIR HEALTH. Go ahead judge me for saying this. (That's right.. you're judging. You're human.) But let's face it.. we are all here because we realize that. Whether you want to say it out loud or not. I have been judged for being tiny. I am not underweight.. the general public has just gotten fatter.. the more fat you have on your body, the more sluggish you become to the point that you cannot even open a bag of carrots without huffing and puffing?! It doesn't only hurt you, it hurts everyone around you - your family, friends, society.. etc. While medical society could be working on finding a cure for cancer, they are working on finding a cure for obese people to eat less - something one could easily do themselves. Your family and friends will feel bad for you, instead of seeing the real joy of being around you. What do you think she does for a living.. cooks? Sits at home collecting disability? One day she will. One day she'll be living off of OUR tax dollars. What do you think her function was in life? Do you think she really is enjoying life to the fullest?

    OK no I have never been overweight so maybe I am not sensitive in that regard.. but I am not overweight because I have never let myself get to that point. Maybe I feel I can say this because I have never gotten there, and because well lets face it I have a big mouth (Yeah I said it.. whatever.) because when I see something wrong I can't help myself soo...

    Kudos for everyone that has come to MFP for help in making sure they can take control of their lives. We have seen the light and are working on bettering ourselves but maybe it's time for someone to let HER know that what she has done to herself is not safe and is NOT ok. A macaroni salad like that can and never will be considered healthy. It's 6,800 calories of mostly processed food. While some may say it's an innocent meal or even a meal for multiple people, its glutony, disgusting, and the door to sooo many more issues. It's a clear disrespect for your own self.

    I really hope she IS a member of MFP and finds this post. As a matter of fact.. I don't mind if someone prints this out and sends it to her because it's something that she needs to hear.
    Dont worry my fav New Zeelender ill never judge you, even you though i would trust you in a dark ally! lmao
  • justimogen
    justimogen Posts: 76
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    Thank you for putting into words what I think many of us may have been feeling. I know that this particularly struck a chord with me:

    "I am morbidly obese. Yes, I am doing something about it now, but I've done something about it before, got 'normal' and ended up here again. All I could think when I was reading those posts is 'That's what people think about me'."

    Apparently, one of the only parts of me that is NOT thick is my skin. :tongue: Time and time again, I read threads and realize that the reality of the way some people view me, on the basis of my appearance alone, is even worse than I'd imagined.

    Sometimes, just to get myself out of the house, I try to convince myself that no one will even notice me or care one way or the other about my size, since my presence has no impact on them. Unfortunately, I guess I now have to come to the realization that that's just not the case. Even though I mind my own business, keep a steady job, am insanely neat, clean and organized and just plain don't get in anyone else's way other than to help people when needed, I will be criticized for my size. I guess I just need to be thankful that I finally seem to have found a way to better myself and this is only temporary. With that said, I don't think I will ever forget what it feels like to be here and will try to be as sensitive to others with issues as I can be.
  • Angellore
    Angellore Posts: 519 Member
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    maybe if she did find it or hear it, it might encourage her to look at her weight and her diet?
    I dont think that would be the worst thing in the world.
    the slim chance that she might read a derogatory comment about her weight, when shes actually at the stage when she cant open a bag of carrots or talk properly without getting out of breath, its probably the least of her worries

    At the times when I have been on a distructive bent, not interested in going anything to lose weight, if I head read comments like that about myself I would have just used it as an excuse to have another massive binge. It certainly wouldn't have encouraged me to do anything about it.
  • sleepytexan
    sleepytexan Posts: 3,138 Member
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    OK, well I just watched that video and I don't see why people are so up in arms about it being 6805 calories. It's not like that's for 1 serving! If you figure a 1/2 cup serving size, that's 32 servings, so 212 calories! Isn't that like any macaroni salad in the store? (I don't know for sure, but it seems reasonable to me).

    Anyway, it sounds kinda good to me, although it looked a bit soupy so you could reduce some of the liquid.

    Really! So what if someone wants to eat a 1/2 cup or whole cup of that salad! I would eat it and it is ok in moderation. Actually not as bad as that 775-calorie burger I ate the other day.

    blessings.

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