helpful or just mean

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  • rs604
    rs604 Posts: 18 Member
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    he is either having sex with someone else or gay. it is not about you being fat.
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 17,959 Member
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    He's either a massive jerk, or had a moment of VERY poor judgment. Either way, neither of those ultimatums are reasonable in the least.
  • deputy_randolph
    deputy_randolph Posts: 940 Member
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    I'm pretty sure that no matter your BMI, you could find sex elsewhere. That's a dumb threat if you ask me.
  • MacaronStyle
    MacaronStyle Posts: 35 Member
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    DTMFA

    Someone who gives weight loss ultimatums isn't the kind of person I would want to have sex with. That isn't sexy at all.
  • canadianlbs
    canadianlbs Posts: 5,199 Member
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    tamera_g wrote: »
    Thanks to everyone for the advice! Today he's been super nice to me and extra helpful around the house. It's like he thinks I will forget what he said if he is nice enough.

    yeah, that sounds abusive. overstep, kiss up, wait until 'forgiven', rinse and repeat.

    and if never 'forgiven' then get started on building a grievance about how should be 'forgiven' and you're therefore a *kitten* and the real problem here.

  • hotcoffee692
    hotcoffee692 Posts: 167 Member
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    Agreeing with everyone who said this is controlling and manipulative. http://www.theduluthmodel.org/pdf/PowerandControl.pdf
  • kbmnurse
    kbmnurse Posts: 2,484 Member
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    Dump him.
  • Verity1111
    Verity1111 Posts: 3,309 Member
    edited January 2017
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    Stella3838 wrote: »
    TavistockToad wrote: »
    He's having sex with someone else

    I'd be inclined to agree. Most dudes won't easily give up sex if they get it on a somewhat regular basis. Otherwise, it's a d*ck move.

    This isn't true. Not all men are sex crazy or even have a high sex drive. That's just a myth. However, I would be inclined to worry about cheating just because of how he's treating you. This particular man does sound very particular and shallow.... Just wow. He isn't attracted to you as you are? Then why is he with you because it is dangerous to be married to someone you don't find attractive - it leads to affairs.
  • Verity1111
    Verity1111 Posts: 3,309 Member
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    2016ItStartsToday wrote: »
    If you can get the creep to pay for a tummy tuck, I'd do it. Maybe afterwards, you'd have more confidence in YOU and then the only extra weight to lose would be him....Just saying

    Good idea lol
  • Sara1791
    Sara1791 Posts: 760 Member
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    TavistockToad wrote: »
    He's having sex with someone else

    Yep. The only reason to be that *kitten* is to try to get someone to dump you.
  • tamera_g
    tamera_g Posts: 128 Member
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    My husband and I talked this weekend and it was a big misunderstanding. He truly believed that he was helping me because he would be sacrificing something too.
    He can be totally clueless about some things and I think this was one of them. Thank you for all your comments.

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