The empty chair beside me.
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I had a similar experience which motivated me to get serious. I was 254lbs at 5'4 and knew i was big, but not that big, right? Crowded train in the way home from work, and i had an empty seat next to me. The only one i could see. But it remained empty the whole trip. People preferred to stand. It can't have been the first time it happened but it was the first time i noticed. Now I'm 180lbs and still dropping. You CAN do this!!
As for other posts, OP remember - no matter their size or their ability to fit into seats, some people have the grace and tact of a flung brick.8 -
Incredibly touching, and sad too. We have all been there in some way, shape or form. We've all had our moments in our lives when we reach rock bottom. Sometimes, we need to be on the bottom before we can climb up! Add me on as a friend if you like - You will do WONDERFULLY WELL, Prediction for 2017!1
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Also I remember one time at a WW meeting, a woman said there is safety in being the fat girl. That hit home with me. Horrible!0
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I get this. I so do! For me it's my office chair! I am afraid I'll be the shape of it! You've got this
And this is an amazing community! 1 -
Been there done all of that. I used to suffer with sleep apnoea and fall asleep at the cinema. I upset a lot of people with my snoring. Not any longer, I went from 329lb to 147lb in 15 months (via some serious health issues). Believe me when I say if I can do it almost everybody can. Feel free to add me as a friend on here, if not I wish you well for the future :-)
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The_Movie_Chair wrote: »The seat beside me was empty. Nobody wanted to sit there and the realization that I am now one of the very big people hurt.
Girl’s night out. The ladies are my friends, we like each other and we meet once a month. This was the first time we went to the movies together. ‘Let’s spread out,’ one said when she realized she would have been the one sitting beside me. She climbed up a row and sat behind me instead. I don’t blame her. I don’t think I ever noticed how big I am until yesterday in the movie theater. Nobody would be comfortable beside me, I need so much space.
I had been looking forward to the film but didn’t enjoy it at all. I couldn’t concentrate. I thought about the empty seat and what it stands for. I am big! I am obese! Some even might call me fat.
The seats in the movie theater are bigger now than they have been years ago; still, I hardly fit in. My arms have to be on the armrest, there is no space left. ‘I wouldn’t want to sit beside myself either,’ I thought and I felt such a mix of emotions. I felt like crying, I felt hurt, I felt disgust and anger toward my lifestyle and my bad eating habits.
I came home furious with myself. I don’t exercise. I hardly walk, I drive everywhere. I can't walk far and I need to sit down all the time. My husband went to bed and I stayed up. I sat there in the dark and thought about my life. I am at a crossroad now. Either I continue doing what I am doing, and I am willing to deal with all the health consequences it will bring, or I start to change things.
I felt sorry for myself for a while, there were some tears and then I got angry.
In the middle of the night, I started to clean out the pantry and the freezer. Made room in the fridge, threw things out left and right.
I don’t know when I signed up here first. I think it was 3 years ago. Sometimes I come here and check out the success stories, or look up meals, but I never come back the next day. Today I came back, changed my name to The_Movie_Chair because I never want to forget how I felt yesterday.
The empty seat in the movie theater will be my motivation. I am not sure how to ask for support and friends but I hope it will find me. Nothing is fun alone. Today I started.
I don't know you, but I am very proud of you and support you in making necessary health changes. Always love that chair that's your motivation!!!
And, I feel you 100%! I remember when I was really down on myself for being 220 pounds. Because of my weight, nobody liked me, they didn't want to sit next to me, my family was ashamed of me, and I was just plain old worthless.
Until I realized........
(and, here's another perspective)
Because of my weight, I didn't like me.
Because of my weight, I was embarrassed to sit next to other people.
Because of my weight, I avoided my family because of my own shame at being so overweight
Because of my weight, I had labeled myself as worthless, therefore I behaved as if I were worthless.
In other words, I projected out to others behavior what I was feeling at the time.
In even more words, perhaps your friend's words and actions at the movie may have had nothing at all to do with you. There could have been other reasons.
I found out for myself that all that hard word of gaining self-esteem started before I lost the weight, and improved even more as I got healthier..
You know what the good thing is? You took those feelings of yours and channeled them into working toward a healthier you. That takes moxy!
You can do this!!!!9 -
You said you are at a "crossroads" well coming back to mfp and releasing your feelings tells me you chose the direction of health and wellness for yourself. Cleaning your pantry was the first step, you are on the right path. You got this, I believe in you.3
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Your story really touched me too. Sounds like you've had an ah-ha moment. You can do this. Believe in yourself, stick with it and you'll reach your goals. Come here for support and tracking. I'm rooting for you!1
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I was down last night and today you all lifted me up. It was a good day. May it be one of many to come. I appreciate the support.9
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The_Movie_Chair wrote: »I was down last night and today you all lifted me up. It was a good day. May it be one of many to come. I appreciate the support.
It's amazing what happens when we reach out to others...they reach back and our lives are never the same.
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I found your heartfelt story so very moving. Looking forward to seeing your victories.2
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I love threads like these; they restore my faith in humanity.
I know you can do this! You have a very powerful motivation and will be your own success story!1 -
The_Movie_Chair wrote: »I was down last night and today you all lifted me up. It was a good day. May it be one of many to come. I appreciate the support.
Not "may" but will. There will be many more to come. Very glad to help. Keep us posted on how you're doing, won't you? You're in my thoughts.2 -
I proudly announce my first loss of 7 lbs. I am still here :-) :-) :-)12
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The_Movie_Chair wrote: »I proudly announce my first loss of 7 lbs. I am still here :-) :-) :-)
You rock chica!! Keep crushing it!!
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The_Movie_Chair wrote: »I proudly announce my first loss of 7 lbs. I am still here :-) :-) :-)
Great job! You are going to kill it!!1 -
That was an amazing post....I log in everyday. I just re-joined. It's tough, I've yo-yoed my ENTIRE life and I understand the struggle. Please feel free to add me, I'd love to chat and be inspiration for each other!!!1
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You have definitely come to the right place, this community is filled with wonderful people who are here to support each other. I am so glad you have reached out to us because we are all here for you! If anyone wants help, someone to talk to, or a accountability friend, just add me Good luck to all!! 1
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The_Movie_Chair wrote: »I proudly announce my first loss of 7 lbs. I am still here :-) :-) :-)
Yay!1 -
You really have come to the right place. MFP will work for you if you work it and the people here are amazing.
Remember, we are doing a marathon not a sprint. Be patient with yourself and your body. You will succeed, just take each day at a time. You've got this!!!1
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