I'm struggling to really get into it.
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It sounds from the original post like you're trying to do too much too soon, especially on the exercise front. Maybe concentrate more on the food side for right now, on hitting your mfp numbers every day. Getting that calorie deficit going is what's gonna move the scale. Hang in there, keep a positive attitude. It'll take some time but it's very doable.0
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trigden1991 wrote: »RunRutheeRun wrote: »If you want it badly enough you'll make the necessary changes to get there.
I was going to write exactly this!
Hmm yeah that is not true. Try telling this to the crowds of overweight and obese people in the world who cry themselves to sleep, refuse social interaction, refuse a love life and become depressed/suicidal because they hate the way they look. They don't want it enough, huh?
Wanting something is in no way the same as being able to do it. I want to be a millionaire, I WANT to be taller, I WANT to do and be all kinds of things but it takes more then that. You don't magically gain the ability to reach your goals just because you want it.
I understand how someone like you who is already successful at weight loss could believe it was all down to the fact you wanted it so badly. But I'm afraid that isn't the case. You posses skills that you have used to reach your goals. Maybe that's knowledge, determination, high self esteem, motivation or something else. It's most likely a unique combination of many things. But you didn't succeed ONLY because you wanted to.trigden1991 wrote: »RunRutheeRun wrote: »If you want it badly enough you'll make the necessary changes to get there.
I was going to write exactly this!
Hmm yeah that is not true. Try telling this to the crowds of overweight and obese people in the world who cry themselves to sleep, refuse social interaction, refuse a love life and become depressed/suicidal because they hate the way they look. They don't want it enough, huh?
Wanting something is in no way the same as being able to do it. I want to be a millionaire, I WANT to be taller, I WANT to do and be all kinds of things but it takes more then that. You don't magically gain the ability to reach your goals just because you want it.
I understand how someone like you who is already successful at weight loss could believe it was all down to the fact you wanted it so badly. But I'm afraid that isn't the case. You posses skills that you have used to reach your goals. Maybe that's knowledge, determination, high self esteem, motivation or something else. It's most likely a unique combination of many things. But you didn't succeed ONLY because you wanted to.
I do see your point to some extent, but overall that's a pretty disempowering message.
I have bags of empathy for frustrated fat people, as I am fat myself and have often been frustrated/despairing about it, but the truth is that the times I've got up and taken action have been the times that I've wanted it badly enough.
You learn the skills you need to lose weight. And this message, though it seems squashy and lovely, would actually be more likely to lock me deeper into the fat prison than to help me get out of it.
Sure, there are things in life we have no control over. You're fat right now, for whatever reason, and you can't change the past. But staying fat? That's definitely something you have a choice about.1 -
trigden1991 wrote: »RunRutheeRun wrote: »If you want it badly enough you'll make the necessary changes to get there.
I was going to write exactly this!
Hmm yeah that is not true. Try telling this to the crowds of overweight and obese people in the world who cry themselves to sleep, refuse social interaction, refuse a love life and become depressed/suicidal because they hate the way they look. They don't want it enough, huh?
Wanting something is in no way the same as being able to do it. I want to be a millionaire, I WANT to be taller, I WANT to do and be all kinds of things but it takes more then that. You don't magically gain the ability to reach your goals just because you want it.
I understand how someone like you who is already successful at weight loss could believe it was all down to the fact you wanted it so badly. But I'm afraid that isn't the case. You posses skills that you have used to reach your goals. Maybe that's knowledge, determination, high self esteem, motivation or something else. It's most likely a unique combination of many things. But you didn't succeed ONLY because you wanted to.
That mentality is exactly how people become, and stay, obese.
Sincerely,
Your formerly 400 pounder3 -
If you have been on here a while... you know that you can have that cake/fizz and still lose weight.
However, something really is holding you back. It isn't love of cake/fizz. Eating too much cake won't satisfy you. You already know that doing it over and over isn't working. You are still going to want more AND you will want not to have eaten it.
So what is it? What leads you to excess? (Actually, the cake itself might not be completely innocent here. Sugary food messes with your own blood sugar and does lead to cravings.)
You do want to lose weight and change... and yet it seems that some part of you isn't quite ready.
Your 'Mojo' has retreated in the face of this mysterious 'something' that is holding you back.
What is it about losing weight - or the changes in life-style you will make to do it - that is difficult to face?
I'd say that you need to sort this out first.
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You just need to move your arns and legs and turn that brsin off. You may not think youre worth it, but you afe. Treat yourself like you would treat a child, cause your decisions aren't presently in your best interest1
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when you hate it badly enough, and want it badly enough, youll do it.1
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One day you wake up and all the excuses stop and all the self loathing stops and all the mess in your brain stops and YOU JUST MAKE IT HAPPEN. When you get to THAT point then nothing and no one will stop you from getting to your goal. Or....at least that's what happened to me. Happy Days to u0
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This is a great post. I just got back on here. I had lost 25lbs and then over 2016 put it back on and then some. I knew what I was doing every time I over ate or put "bad" food in instead of "good" food. I just couldn't get over whatever it was in my brain that took over. I realized very recently that I was sabotaging myself at every turn and then feeling very sorry for myself afterwards. I'm not sure exactly what has changed other than I think I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired and being miserable. I'm the only one who can do anything about my weight and how I look so if I want to feel better and yes look better than I'd better get on it. Depression is a killer with weight loss, I've got that issue also. You can do it, stop beating yourself up over what you used to look like and start focusing on what you can look like again. Good luck. Lots of people here are in your corner rooting for you.0
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goodasgoldilox wrote: »If you have been on here a while... you know that you can have that cake/fizz and still lose weight.
However, something really is holding you back. It isn't love of cake/fizz. Eating too much cake won't satisfy you. You already know that doing it over and over isn't working. You are still going to want more AND you will want not to have eaten it.
So what is it? What leads you to excess? (Actually, the cake itself might not be completely innocent here. Sugary food messes with your own blood sugar and does lead to cravings.)
You do want to lose weight and change... and yet it seems that some part of you isn't quite ready.
Your 'Mojo' has retreated in the face of this mysterious 'something' that is holding you back.
What is it about losing weight - or the changes in life-style you will make to do it - that is difficult to face?
I'd say that you need to sort this out first.
You're so right.
I guess its not really the losing weight, its fear of what happens when I do. I'm studying atm. Nearly at the end of my course and then I will be starting a business and I'm scared. I'm scared of starting a business when I'm fat. I have no confidence and when I'm working I will have to be out in the big wide world where everyone can see my fat.
On the other hand I'm thinking that when I do lose weight I'll have to start a business and thats scary as hell.
I guess I'm in limbo. But I am going to lose the weight. 100%.
And some people suggested that you have to love yourself to lose the weight. I thought about it and thats exactly it Last time I did this I loved myself, this time I feel like I'm trying to destroy my body, Im working against rather than with. I will work on loving myself and stop trying to be so all or nothing.0 -
trigden1991 wrote: »RunRutheeRun wrote: »If you want it badly enough you'll make the necessary changes to get there.
I was going to write exactly this!
Wanting something is in no way the same as being able to do it. I want to be a millionaire, I WANT to be taller, I WANT to do and be all kinds of things but it takes more then that. You don't magically gain the ability to reach your goals just because you want it.
Please reread what you wrote and realise how absurd it is! Being tall or a millionaire are completely different to weight loss.
Weight gain/loss is directly proportional to your calorie intake. Everyone has a choice of what to eat, what portions to eat and most are fortunate enough to be able to exercise.
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