"When a person tells you that you hurt them you don't get to decide you didn't." -Louis CK.
Heather_MXP
Posts: 48 Member
Just a thought for those who were insisting that the gal who felt bullied wasn't actually bullied.
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Replies
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If disagreeing with someone hurts their feelings that is not bullying8
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Is this really a thread? Should it maybe be in the debate section?7
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Being supportive is not mutually exclusive with agreeing with someone. She was offered good advice, that was done in a polite manner, and she felt bullied because no one thought it was a great idea.7
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@Heather_MXP have you actually read the post in question? that quote has nothing to do with bullying. Disagreeing with someone doesn't mean you are bullying them7
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ashliedelgado wrote: »Being supportive is not mutually exclusive with agreeing with someone. She was offered good advice, that was done in a polite manner, and she felt bullied because no one thought it was a great idea.
I saw the thread she was referring to. She was accused of being a troll and more than one person posted something to the effect of, "This is the dumbest thing I've heard all day."
People showing concern for her choices wasn't what hurt her feelings.1 -
Heather_MXP wrote: »ashliedelgado wrote: »Being supportive is not mutually exclusive with agreeing with someone. She was offered good advice, that was done in a polite manner, and she felt bullied because no one thought it was a great idea.
I saw the thread she was referring to. She was accused of being a troll and more than one person posted something to the effect of, "This is the dumbest thing I've heard all day."
People showing concern for her choices wasn't what hurt her feelings.
People could have phrased it nicer but it is a ridiculous idea and when something so ridiculous comes up it is expected some will question the posters validity.3 -
Heather_MXP wrote: »ashliedelgado wrote: »Being supportive is not mutually exclusive with agreeing with someone. She was offered good advice, that was done in a polite manner, and she felt bullied because no one thought it was a great idea.
I saw the thread she was referring to. She was accused of being a troll and more than one person posted something to the effect of, "This is the dumbest thing I've heard all day."
People showing concern for her choices wasn't what hurt her feelings.
Saying an idea is dumb isn't bullying and it is showing concern. If they weren't concerned they wouldn't have said anything2 -
There was no bullying in that thread, but apparently it's okay to poke fun at a young pregnant girl.
Sigh.2 -
Just because something wouldn't hurt your feelings doesn't mean it wouldn't hurt the feelings of another person. We have no idea what other people are dealing with. That particular person was suffering the loss of a child. But who cares. If it doesn't meet YOUR particular standards, then she doesn't have any right to her feelings. Sure.1
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Heather_MXP wrote: »ashliedelgado wrote: »Being supportive is not mutually exclusive with agreeing with someone. She was offered good advice, that was done in a polite manner, and she felt bullied because no one thought it was a great idea.
I saw the thread she was referring to. She was accused of being a troll and more than one person posted something to the effect of, "This is the dumbest thing I've heard all day."
People showing concern for her choices wasn't what hurt her feelings.
I said that, and I stand by it.4 -
ashliedelgado wrote: »Being supportive is not mutually exclusive with agreeing with someone. She was offered good advice, that was done in a polite manner, and she felt bullied because no one thought it was a great idea.
People seem to have a way different concept of bullying these days. Everyone who disagrees (especially if the idea is not healthy) is called a bully because they disagree and are trying to save her from medical and mental health issues.3 -
What is this even about?
I feel left out, and I believe that when someone tells you you made them feel left out you don't get to decide you didn't.
j/k ;-) But I am nosy.3 -
anyone got a link to the thread?1
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Heather_MXP wrote: »Just because something wouldn't hurt your feelings doesn't mean it wouldn't hurt the feelings of another person. We have no idea what other people are dealing with. That particular person was suffering the loss of a child. But who cares. If it doesn't meet YOUR particular standards, then she doesn't have any right to her feelings. Sure.
Hurting someone's feeling does not make the action bullying. Her feelings can be hurt and people accept that but that doesn't mean the other people are being bullys1 -
Heather_MXP wrote: »Just because something wouldn't hurt your feelings doesn't mean it wouldn't hurt the feelings of another person. We have no idea what other people are dealing with. That particular person was suffering the loss of a child. But who cares. If it doesn't meet YOUR particular standards, then she doesn't have any right to her feelings. Sure.
She didn't mention that in the thread, she mentioned that afterwards. Still not bullying. Also it's way more hurtful to blindly support her doing something that is potentially dangerous. I rather be thought of as the "mean" person who cared about someone doing something dangerous than the white knight who supports dangerous activities4 -
lemurcat12 wrote: »What is this even about?
I feel left out, and I believe that when someone tells you you made them feel left out you don't get to decide you didn't.
j/k ;-) But I am nosy.
Someone's feelings were hurt. The end. Or should have been.
PS...Im not condoning hurting peoples' feelings; I just think words on a computer screen shouldn't hold this much power.2 -
You seem to be conflating unintentionally hurting someone's feelings and bullying. The latter comes with intent, while the former does not. Also, how someone internalizes and emotionally responds to a difference of opinion is on them, not the person who disagrees with them.9
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CafeRacer808 wrote: »You seem to be conflating unintentionally hurting someone's feelings and bullying. The latter comes with intent, while the former does not. Also, how someone internalizes and emotionally responds to a difference of opinion is on them, not the person who disagrees with them.
Especially when they only provide half the relevant info.6 -
JustMissTracy wrote: »lemurcat12 wrote: »What is this even about?
I feel left out, and I believe that when someone tells you you made them feel left out you don't get to decide you didn't.
j/k ;-) But I am nosy.
Someone's feelings were hurt. The end. Or should have been.
PS...Im not condoning hurting peoples' feelings; I just think words on a computer screen shouldn't hold this much power.
Just a note the thread got closed by the moderators because of the vcld content.2 -
Tacklewasher wrote: »Especially when they only provide half the relevant info.
Indeed.0 -
singingflutelady wrote: »JustMissTracy wrote: »lemurcat12 wrote: »What is this even about?
I feel left out, and I believe that when someone tells you you made them feel left out you don't get to decide you didn't.
j/k ;-) But I am nosy.
Someone's feelings were hurt. The end. Or should have been.
PS...Im not condoning hurting peoples' feelings; I just think words on a computer screen shouldn't hold this much power.
Just a note the thread got closed by the moderators because of the vcld content.
And I can understand that. From what I'm gleaning, she was eating 800 cals a day in liquid. Unless she was morbidly obese, I can't see any doctor being in their right mind recommending that. But I'm not bullying, just my opinion.0 -
My very first post on these forums I was told my idea and thought process was "fanciful thinking", "silly" and I believe "broscience".
It hurt a little BUT if I don't accept feedback I'm not growing or moving forward.
I failed time and time again to maintain my weight loss partially because I went on super restrictive diets.
I'm eternally grateful for what some call "mean" or "snarky" posts as I have learned and continue to learn not only about maintaining my weight loss but also why I failed in the past.
But that's just my experience.11 -
JustMissTracy wrote: »singingflutelady wrote: »JustMissTracy wrote: »lemurcat12 wrote: »What is this even about?
I feel left out, and I believe that when someone tells you you made them feel left out you don't get to decide you didn't.
j/k ;-) But I am nosy.
Someone's feelings were hurt. The end. Or should have been.
PS...Im not condoning hurting peoples' feelings; I just think words on a computer screen shouldn't hold this much power.
Just a note the thread got closed by the moderators because of the vcld content.
And I can understand that. From what I'm gleaning, she was eating 800 cals a day in liquid. Unless she was morbidly obese, I can't see any doctor being in their right mind recommending that. But I'm not bullying, just my opinion.
Any doctor who oks that diet should be under review by the medical board2 -
We don't get to decide whether or not someone else is hurt, but we can use discernment to determine whether or not that means we should adjust our actions.
I'm not taking a position on that thread in particular, but all hurt feelings aren't equally indicative of "bullying" or a sign that behavior needs to be changed.
I may be hurt if my husband tells me he doesn't really care for my chocolate cake. But does that mean he should lie and tell me that he loves it?5 -
janejellyroll wrote: »We don't get to decide whether or not someone else is hurt, but we can use discernment to determine whether or not that means we should adjust our actions.
I'm not taking a position on that thread in particular, but all hurt feelings aren't equally indicative of "bullying" or a sign that behavior needs to be changed.
I may be hurt if my husband tells me he doesn't really care for my chocolate cake. But does that mean he should lie and tell me that he loves it?
Sadly in modern society people have begun to take disagreement as an aggressive behavior towards them5 -
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No Hi-Jacking, Trolling, or Flame-baiting
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