I am sick of ''you look fine'' comments (before/after pics)
GirlBossGoals
Posts: 49 Member
Literally, I can't even take ''you look fine'' anymore. I have always been size 6 put on weight because of my careless life and take away binge, I jumped into size 12/14 and I certainly didn't look ''fine''. I was tired, couldn't concentrate and had no motivation to life.
Despite that I may have appeared ''fine'' looking because they never seen me in anything tight (no bodycon dresses) just very side jumpers, oversized t-shirts etc. so no one could tell. I am petite girl, and no one really realised ...
The one thing that annoyed me the most is people saying ''you look fine'' while i was getting worse and worse and if I mentioned, that I want to start eating healthy or exercise- people would say - ''but what for?' you look fine- while the hypocrites would post themselves 2 days later on FB that they need to lose weight!! So wait a second, I have to stay unhealthy, sick and not looking great while you have the right to lose weight?
I am seriously sick of it. i stopped mentioning to anyone and just did my own way, still to hear ''but you looked okey before'' like these days being overweight is something normal...
Don't you realise that posting picture on social media with unhealthy burger or pepperoni pizza will get more likes than picture of a healthy salad? People want to promote unhealthy lifestyle? Why???
I managed to get down of the main weight and get into size 10 but with muffin tops and tummy
and now (picture after taking literally today) I am I think size 8!
I am finally eating healthy, I am getting more energised- but I need to strat exercising more.
I am getting there to get really healthy body and remove annoying muffin tops etc. I just hate when people talk to me about it- instead of saying- oh wow- you did well, they come and moan- why I did?? is it me or is this stupid? shall I stay how I was because I am fine? and should i love my tired and unhealthy body??? Why people feel it's okey to come to me and say thing like that at all? I don;t even ask them to!I don't asked them their opinion whether they think I should or shouldn't lose weight. Why they think it's okey to comment on someones body???!!!
Picture below after I managed to drop from size 12/14 ( and here around size 10 on left and 8 on right)
Despite that I may have appeared ''fine'' looking because they never seen me in anything tight (no bodycon dresses) just very side jumpers, oversized t-shirts etc. so no one could tell. I am petite girl, and no one really realised ...
The one thing that annoyed me the most is people saying ''you look fine'' while i was getting worse and worse and if I mentioned, that I want to start eating healthy or exercise- people would say - ''but what for?' you look fine- while the hypocrites would post themselves 2 days later on FB that they need to lose weight!! So wait a second, I have to stay unhealthy, sick and not looking great while you have the right to lose weight?
I am seriously sick of it. i stopped mentioning to anyone and just did my own way, still to hear ''but you looked okey before'' like these days being overweight is something normal...
Don't you realise that posting picture on social media with unhealthy burger or pepperoni pizza will get more likes than picture of a healthy salad? People want to promote unhealthy lifestyle? Why???
I managed to get down of the main weight and get into size 10 but with muffin tops and tummy
and now (picture after taking literally today) I am I think size 8!
I am finally eating healthy, I am getting more energised- but I need to strat exercising more.
I am getting there to get really healthy body and remove annoying muffin tops etc. I just hate when people talk to me about it- instead of saying- oh wow- you did well, they come and moan- why I did?? is it me or is this stupid? shall I stay how I was because I am fine? and should i love my tired and unhealthy body??? Why people feel it's okey to come to me and say thing like that at all? I don;t even ask them to!I don't asked them their opinion whether they think I should or shouldn't lose weight. Why they think it's okey to comment on someones body???!!!
Picture below after I managed to drop from size 12/14 ( and here around size 10 on left and 8 on right)
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Replies
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They are saying that you looked fine because you looked fine to them. I'm looking at your before picture and other than needing a larger size of capri pants, you did look fine, average, okay, not particularly overweight or skinny. Just fine. Totally fine. Perfectly fine.
At some point in time you invited conversation about it (" if I mentioned, that I want to start eating healthy or exercise...") so the people you talked to about it talked about it. The vast majority of people who complain about people commenting on their weight loss or fitness or diet or exercise program are people who in some way indicate to other people that they want to discuss it. There's a tiny group of people who just randomly out of the blue start badgering others about this stuff. Most people are pretty self-involved and don't bring it up unless others do.
Anyway, congrats on your weight loss.24 -
You look fine in both photos.14
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Well done, OP!
Now, you look fiiiiiiiiiiine
(Ha)9 -
When I stopped abusing alcohol my social interactions changed quite a bit. Maybe spend more time with people who feel the same way about fitness as you do? For example, spend more time here rather than FB?8
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What others think of you is none of your business.
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It's always the burgers and pizza that take the brunt of all the anger.
Sad times we live in.20 -
ps - I'd be happier with the After body as well, but you said people didn't see you in tight clothes so I'm sure to them you did look fine at the Before weight (which you said is a size 10 and not your highest size of 12/14.)2
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Perhaps your definition of "fine" is different than theirs.10
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It is how you feel. Others don't live inside of you to tell you what is best for you and you only.4
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GirlBossGoals wrote: »Don't you realise that posting picture on social media with unhealthy burger or pepperoni pizza will get more likes than picture of a healthy salad? People want to promote unhealthy lifestyle? Why???
Because "healthy salads" tend to look pretty boring. You want likes on your food pics, post pics of yummy looking food. A salad *can* look yummy while still being healthy, but I'm not going to "like" a picture of a bowl of lettuce. A burger is more likely to look yummy (as long as it's homemade or from a good restaurant).
I have Facebook friends who regularly post healthy recipes that get plenty of likes. But they're posting yummy looking healthy recipes. It's the "yummy" part that matters not the healthy/unhealthy part.6 -
Omg! You just nailed it. I looked identical to your before picture. My body shape was very similar to yours. I wasn't obese but I didn't have a super hot body. My boyfriend is the one tells me I look "fine" why do you need to lose weight, you're not fat. Whattt? I'm not happy with how look, why can't I get support from anyone? Like you, I've made a decision to get in shape regardless of anyone says. Keep it up, girl!6
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kshama2001 wrote: »When I stopped abusing alcohol my social interactions changed quite a bit. Maybe spend more time with people who feel the same way about fitness as you do? For example, spend more time here rather than FB?
Yes!
Thats what this site needs, more people that make yet another "I hate" thread.
PS: glad yo hear you have stopped abusing alchohol. That's not an easy task.
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Cherimoose wrote: »What others think of you is none of your business.
One of my favorite sayings, and began steps towards not caring what others are saying.0 -
kshama2001 wrote: »When I stopped abusing alcohol my social interactions changed quite a bit. Maybe spend more time with people who feel the same way about fitness as you do? For example, spend more time here rather than FB?
...PS: glad yo hear you have stopped abusing alchohol. That's not an easy task.
Thanks! I attribute my success to Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and yoga, both of which help me manage food issues as well.
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sometimes other people can see things we cant. especially when it comes to our bodies. we are our own worst critics.so to them you may have looked fine and not overweight.but to you you may think OMG Im FAT or even obese. not saying you do but it happens1
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kshama2001 wrote: »kshama2001 wrote: »When I stopped abusing alcohol my social interactions changed quite a bit. Maybe spend more time with people who feel the same way about fitness as you do? For example, spend more time here rather than FB?
...PS: glad yo hear you have stopped abusing alchohol. That's not an easy task.
Thanks! I attribute my success to Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and yoga, both of which help me manage food issues as well.
Quite a ride you have been on. Kudos!0 -
Maybe, just maybe, these people were trying to boost your self esteem and showing a care and love for you by showing they love you regardless of what you think of yourself?
My best friend is unhappy with her weight but I still tell her she looks beautiful because to me she is always beautiful, for who she is not the outside packaging. She'll lose when she's ready, just like I did.
Your anger needs to not be directed at them for just trying to be nice, affirmative people to their friends. And their feelings about themselves are not a reflection of you or dismissive of you either. It's not all about you.
And yes, you did look fine and now you look even finer. But that affirmation should come from yourself, not outside forces.27 -
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VintageFeline wrote: »Maybe, just maybe, these people were trying to boost your self esteem and showing a care and love for you by showing they love you regardless of what you think of yourself?
My best friend is unhappy with her weight but I still tell her she looks beautiful because to me she is always beautiful, for who she is not the outside packaging. She'll lose when she's ready, just like I did.
Your anger needs to not be directed at them for just trying to be nice, affirmative people to their friends. And their feelings about themselves are not a reflection of you or dismissive of you either. It's not all about you.
And yes, you did look fine and now you look even finer. But that affirmation should come from yourself, not outside forces.
This. The polite thing to say when someone brings up that they are trying to lose weight is some variation on - "don't be silly, you are perfect the way you are". Did you expect them to say, "Thank goodness, you were really letting yourself go"? You probably did look fine to them.
Also, most people don't eat or cook the food pictures they post. It's food porn. It's like pictures of hot celebs or islands on the other side of the world. People don't post that stuff trying to tempt you into getting fat.
You do you, and do it for you :drinker:8 -
theres a difference in appearing healthy and feeling healthy..if you dont feel good then you are not fine..your figure is beautiful but if your not treating the inside then the outside does not matter...keep doing what makes you "feel" fine and healthy and good and dont listen to anyone else = )0
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You posted a thread with pictures so you are kind of inviting the whole world to give their opinion even though you say you don't want comments. Maybe you kind of do want comments about your progress just not those comments.
Your appearance in the first photo- the only very noticeable overweight part is your waist/upper hip area. If you were not wearing tight or revealing clothing it likely would not be noticeable at all. You would look fine. Your starting point probably wasn't obvious to others.
Second photo- yes, you look a healthier weight. Your clothes fit better. You are not very athletic looking but are slimmer. Your size and appearance would be fine for many people.
I don't know why people are commenting to you but you can shut it down.
Don't bring it up in conversation or post about it on social media. Just do it quietly.
If someone starts asking you about your weight loss just say you are fine and change the subject.
It is your body. I hope you get to a happy healthy place. Well done on your loss.
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I just wanted to say you look amazing, I can see you made some massive changes in your body. I can see how you didn't like how you looked before - but that yo most people you looked "fine". I think because you had an average, everyday sort of body, if that makes sense.
You have a wonderful shape! Very sensual.3 -
I don't know how you looked before, but you look "fine" in both pictures above. And, by "fine", I don't mean "OK". I mean "fine" as in really hot.2
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You do you. I hate telling people especially family that I am trying to lose weight and I really need to. Some people feel free to make comments I don't appreciate. If you turn down food they act like "poor you" and if you eat it then you get the "is that on your diet". You can't win. You do look fine in both but can see the difference. You look healthy and as long as you are happy you just can't worry about what others think.
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My husband tells me i look too skinny (i lose weight super quick from my rib cage and up, but my belly stays the same), my family says i look fine too. I do NOT speak about weight or calories to any of them anymore.
OP would you prefer them to say "Hey fatty, it's time you lost some of that weight you've piled on" ? You'd probably be just as mortified lol
My golden tip is to keep your dieting and body woes to yourself. Honestly, no one really cares anyway
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GirlBossGoals wrote: »The one thing that annoyed me the most is people saying ''you look fine'' while i was getting worse and worse and if I mentioned, that I want to start eating healthy or exercise- people would say - ''but what for?' you look fine- while the hypocrites would post themselves 2 days later on FB that they need to lose weight!! So wait a second, I have to stay unhealthy, sick and not looking great while you have the right to lose weight?
A lot of how people react depends on how you say something. If you say "I feel so tired all the time; I need to eat healthier so that I'll have more energy", people aren't going to discourage you. If you say "I don't fit into my favourite dress any more", people will usually be supportive of efforts to fit into it again.
But if you say "I'm so fat" (especially if you say it to people who are significantly heavier than you and are going to make the obvious comparison and conclude that you are also saying that they are fat), you're more likely going to be told you look fine - especially if you do actually look fine. As you yourself noted, they couldn't see through your clothes. Aside from which, while you look better in the second pic, you do actually look fine in the first one.8 -
I don't know why you need validation that bad from the people around you to start eating healthy and exercising. I doubt they are maliciously telling you that your body looks fine so you stay fat while "they get the right to lose weight". Take the compliment (bc honestly you didn't look bad in the first pic) or just don't talk about your weightloss journey with people who you don't feel will motivate you. I keep my mouth shut when I'm losing weight because I don't want comments, and if I talk about it and I don't like what they say I stop engaging.6
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SusanMFindlay wrote: »GirlBossGoals wrote: »The one thing that annoyed me the most is people saying ''you look fine'' while i was getting worse and worse and if I mentioned, that I want to start eating healthy or exercise- people would say - ''but what for?' you look fine- while the hypocrites would post themselves 2 days later on FB that they need to lose weight!! So wait a second, I have to stay unhealthy, sick and not looking great while you have the right to lose weight?
A lot of how people react depends on how you say something. If you say "I feel so tired all the time; I need to eat healthier so that I'll have more energy", people aren't going to discourage you. If you say "I don't fit into my favourite dress any more", people will usually be supportive of efforts to fit into it again.
But if you say "I'm so fat" (especially if you say it to people who are significantly heavier than you and are going to make the obvious comparison and conclude that you are also saying that they are fat), you're more likely going to be told you look fine - especially if you do actually look fine. As you yourself noted, they couldn't see through your clothes. Aside from which, while you look better in the second pic, you do actually look fine in the first one.
I gotta agree with this. If people are telling you you look fine the way you are, it's generally in response to you saying something negative about yourself in a non-constructive way.
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