Gym Instructor won't leave me alone.
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singingflutelady wrote: »Hahaha! Great responses. I felt like I was over reacting a bit, but as my friend pointed out, I'm very sick of men thinking it's ok to be in my personal space and make me feel uncomfortable.
I understand how frustrating and annoying this is! For the longest time there was a powerlifter at my gym who thought he was my squat trainer and constantly told me I had to squat *kitten* to grass (I go to just below parallel and can't do *kitten* to grass without butt wink). Since the rack is in the powerlifting area I avoided it every time I saw him (thankfully I only saw him 20% of the time).
My kitten (I love that) is nowhere near the grass, due to injury, but I still feel the burn, that was one of the things he was trying to make me do. He said 'you look like you are going to fall over' and I wanted to cry.
My form deteriorates when I am being stared at as I get very nervous so I also made some dumb mistakes I never ever normally do. It was very awkward as I lift heavy and it's hard to avoid squats! Luckily I started going at a different time and stopped seeing him (I'm now taking a break from the gym because of illness) but every time I went I did a quick trip around the gym to see if he was there!0 -
What would work for me might not work for you. Based on your other posts, I'm certain of this. That said, I'd tell him rather loudly - so that the other gym goers could hear - something along the lines of, 'considering you've proven several times that you don't know what you're talking about, F off.'1
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Some of the things you have said makes me wonder if this guy is dangerous. The things he has said to you are demeaning and his obvious zeroing in on someone who is meek and unlikely to push him away makes me wonder. Sometimes as hard as it is a strong offence is better than a strong defence. If you can't do that you need to talk to managment just to protect not only yourself but all the women who are training there. He may be harmless but he may not be as well. It sounds to me like he's coming on to you at the very least. Quota or not that's not ok. You deserve to feel safe at your gym.10
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I'm not sure how much of it is just him being a little too pushy, trying to flog his personal training service.
He's been writing things on the facebook group offering help 'come and ask me' etc. I didn't ask for anything. He was quite calm when he talked to me, but it felt like a teacher telling me off.
I'm torn between wanting to be left alone, and wondering if I am over-reacting. I look a lot younger than I am, but I'm quite tall, and can give a hell of a death stare haha!
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ajwcyclist2016 wrote: »I'd just tell the management. The first time fair enough but once you've said you're fine that's should be it
I would speak to the management as well assuming you told him his advice was not welcome nor wanted.1 -
Go get management. Period. You should not have to tell him more than once, or drop hints or hope he just goes away. No one has the right to force themselves into your space or your routine like that.
You also stated he's new. You aren't. Management likely knows you and appreciates your business, and you'll likely be saving them from future headaches if this is this idiots MO. He's just a guy, and not a very smart one at that, from the sounds of it. Go straight to management.3 -
It would annoy me. If he is any good people he trains would recommend him through word of mouth0
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Problem is not just him watching you, but the effect it has on your daily routine. It already starts before you go to the gym, worrying if he will be there, distraction at the gym, even if he is not there you worry he might come in, and it might start taking over your life. If you are not able to ignore him you either take steps and get it sorted, or lose your focus on why you are going2
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He needs to be fired. He is a stalker not a trainer.9
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Thanks everyone, he wasn't in today so I managed to work out without being watched, I was totally distracted with worrying he might come in, so I kept forgetting how many reps I'd done. I'm going to make a complaint next time a manager is in.
Absolutely make a complaint -you pay for your gym membership and you should not be made to feel uncomfortable by ANYONE let alone the staff.6 -
I'm not sure how much of it is just him being a little too pushy, trying to flog his personal training service.
He's been writing things on the facebook group offering help 'come and ask me' etc. I didn't ask for anything. He was quite calm when he talked to me, but it felt like a teacher telling me off.
I'm torn between wanting to be left alone, and wondering if I am over-reacting. I look a lot younger than I am, but I'm quite tall, and can give a hell of a death stare haha!
It's not overreacting to want to be left alone. This guy either has no ability to read people or he doesn't care that you don't want his instruction. If it is the first (no ability to read people), telling him straight up that you are not interested in his advice so he needs to stop giving it to you is likely going to lead to him saying "oh, okay" and then he'll leave you alone. If it is the second, saying the same thing will lead to him making a rude remark, at which point you should talk to management. If he approaches you again, hold up your hand and say "Stop. I don't want to hear it so take it elsewhere" and then turn around and get to work.
Being kind doesn't mean being a doormat.8 -
I'm not sure how much of it is just him being a little too pushy, trying to flog his personal training service.
He's been writing things on the facebook group offering help 'come and ask me' etc. I didn't ask for anything. He was quite calm when he talked to me, but it felt like a teacher telling me off.
I'm torn between wanting to be left alone, and wondering if I am over-reacting. I look a lot younger than I am, but I'm quite tall, and can give a hell of a death stare haha!
It's not overreacting to want to be left alone. This guy either has no ability to read people or he doesn't care that you don't want his instruction. If it is the first (no ability to read people), telling him straight up that you are not interested in his advice so he needs to stop giving it to you is likely going to lead to him saying "oh, okay" and then he'll leave you alone. If it is the second, saying the same thing will lead to him making a rude remark, at which point you should talk to management. If he approaches you again, hold up your hand and say "Stop. I don't want to hear it so take it elsewhere" and then turn around and get to work.
Being kind doesn't mean being a doormat.
exactly!!!
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Anyone who insists on telling you to do exercises that are detrimental to your health is not a qualified instructor. I had an instructor provide unsolicited assistance to me before but it was pretty brief. Then again, I'm not a pretty young female either. Report him.3
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Stop being polite and stop engaging him. Ignore him or tell him to leave you alone. He probably sees you looking around for him and takes it as a sign to come over.5
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Here's a line I like to use with people like that: I smile and say in a very positive voice, "Thanks for your concern, but you're being a bit too helpful right now. I'd like to just finish my workout in peace."
Next time around, I would say, "Look, perhaps I was not clear the last time we talked. Why don't we go talk to the manager and get clear about this."
Third time, though, I would go "Full retard." If I choose to get angry, the object of my anger knows it in no uncertain terms.8 -
You could drop a weight on his foot and then giggle-7
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I'm not sure how much of it is just him being a little too pushy, trying to flog his personal training service.
He's been writing things on the facebook group offering help 'come and ask me' etc. I didn't ask for anything. He was quite calm when he talked to me, but it felt like a teacher telling me off.
I'm torn between wanting to be left alone, and wondering if I am over-reacting. I look a lot younger than I am, but I'm quite tall, and can give a hell of a death stare haha!
is this guys name Biglouie, and did he tell you to eat peanut butter and avacods?
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Tell him to get lost, period.0
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Here's a bit of a different way to handle it. It's a bit passive aggressive, but may get the point across without conflict. Go in one day and arrange to work with a FEMALE PT. Tell her that the other guy thought you were lifting wrong but you wanted advice from a female so is there something you need to fix on your form. You can mention that you felt a little creeped out by him if you want to.
Then if he sees you a different day and tries to correct you, you can fall back on so and so said this was how to do it. Plus, if there is something wrong with your form, you can get it addressed in a safer way (the guy could be correct, but a douche).
But, in my mind you need to do something about it as it sounds like it will keep you from going back. If you don't then you will be looking for a different gym soon.
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I'm not sure how much of it is just him being a little too pushy, trying to flog his personal training service.
He's been writing things on the facebook group offering help 'come and ask me' etc. I didn't ask for anything. He was quite calm when he talked to me, but it felt like a teacher telling me off.
I'm torn between wanting to be left alone, and wondering if I am over-reacting. I look a lot younger than I am, but I'm quite tall, and can give a hell of a death stare haha!
You are NOT over-reacting. If he is making you uncomfortable he needs to stop.
Those guys only make money if they find people to pay for their advice. Some are very pushy. If they aren't pushy they might not make any money but that's not your problem, they need to know when to back off.1
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