What makes you so damn special?
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My kids know better they ask me did you put spinach in here? My only option is to lie0
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I started hiding things in their smoothies now1
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I Just pick the tomatoes off of a sandwich instead of requesting a whole new sandwich. I'm chill like that1
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You mean like when you sign up on an app or something and they ask are you a human? Giggles2
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I feel a strange urge to send money0
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Indeed0
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I can grow a mustache.
Eat your heart out fellas4 -
I'm a rocket scientist. But honestly, you can't throw a rock in this town without hitting a rocket scientist. So it really isn't that special. Just another engineering job.2
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How about half eaten brownies ?0
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Oh...per my daughter, I am fantastically efficient at ruining teenagers lives2
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So.... sexting. ^1
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My boss tells me I am in charge of disgruntled patients because I have a special way of telling them to eff off and they think I am paying them a compliment.5
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