Furious! Off topic...just need to vent somewhere

Francl27 · January 2017

OP, the tablet thing would be a total deal breaker for me, even if my kids wasn't involved. I hate losing stuff and if someone put me through that on purpose... nope, nope, nope.

But yeah, either way the issue between him and your son isn't going to get better with marriage. And at 8 he really doesn't need 'tough parenting' from someone who isn't even his father.

Also I'd remove that picture of him in your avatar at least.. lol.

Miz_T · January 2017

If you get married, things WILL get worse. Find another man that treats you AND your son with dignity and respect.

Heartisalonelyhunter · January 2017

OP, I'm going to offer a different perspective.

Being a step parent is *kitten* hard. It's even harder when you are expected to fulfill many parental duties (as you say your fiancé is) because the real parent is unwilling or unable to do them. There is a line that has to be drawn but it's very difficult to know where to draw it. So he can take your son to games like a dad, but he can't discipline him because he's not his Dad. You see the disconnect?
I'm not excusing him hiding the iPad but I do think you have to be very clear what you want from him when it comes to your child. Being a step parent is pretty much a thankless task most of the time and it's frustrating for all parties. Evidently everyone commenting here and telling you to leave him would be absolutely wonderful at parenting someone else's child and would never make a wrong move. How amazing.
So talk about it with him. Why is he so harsh on your child? What does he want. Do you want him to back off completely or continue fulfilling fatherly duties when it suits you. Also talk to your son. How does he feel?

fordster99 · January 2017

lstrat115 wrote: »

kschwab0203 wrote: »

I just told him the following:

My children come first and I would put everything on the line for them. I will not allow you to determine how I raise my children. I really don't care much about what you think of my son anymore. After that disgusting display yesterday, I'm not even sure you are capable of having an opinion worth listening to. We need to put everything on hold (trying to buy a house/ marriage plans).

Good! Stick to this. You need to see major change before even considering a future together

It sounds to me that the guy you are considering marrying is very immature. Being jealous of the biological dad, hiding your son's tablet, saying things like he is "kitten" and like his dad. Who does that? My husband's stepdad came into his life when he was 8 years old and his stepdad was similiar to your fiance and he despises his stepdad and his mother for not putting him before a man. You need to make sure that you do the best for all of your kids and being with a man who chooses to berate your son rather than lift him up and encourage him doesn't sound like a role model I would want in my son's life.

Furious! Off topic...just need to vent somewhere

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