Gym Instructor won't leave me alone.

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  • gdsmit1
    gdsmit1 Posts: 137 Member
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    You mentioned that he's new and he pimps his services on FB. It could be that he's just getting into the personal trainer thing and is trying to build his clientele. But it's obvious that he can't take a hint. You are going to have to tell him point blank that you want to be left alone or you'll go to management. Then follow through with management if it continues.

    Of course, he may be hitting on you. Then that's a real issue if he's affecting the people in the gym with his personal love interests.

    You should not have to feel uncomfortable going to the gym. He needs to leave you alone.
  • z85zz
    z85zz Posts: 17 Member
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    I appreciate all comments from both sides. I am concerned I am over reacting but I didn't feel in a position not to do the exercises he asked me to. As I said I felt like I was being told off at school. When he asked me to do an exercise for him I said 'No, I can't do that I have *insert injury*' (even told him it ruined my dance career). He still pushed me to do it for him. I again, said 'really? I don't want to.' He then said, yea 'you look like you are scared you are going to fall over.'
    He then tried to show me a wall stretching exercise which I knew would hurt. I said, no I physically can't do that, he insisted. Maybe I'm a wimp, but I felt pressured.
    The second time I was lying on the floor just finished and he offered to help me with something. I said no, and that I didn't really want to try. He still insisted I tried. I did one rep, and said 'sorry, I'm pretty knackered'. And he backed off a bit but he still kept going on. I also wasn't comfortable doing an exercise that mostly involved my crotch!
    The other twice I have seen him watching me (through the mirror I'm not looking for him) and my friend said, don't worry there is no WAY he will approach you twice.
    You have to pay for personal training services at my gym, the only time the staff are milling about is when they are cleaning. I've never had anyone chat to me before.
  • gdsmit1
    gdsmit1 Posts: 137 Member
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    I missed the part about him pressuring you to do something even though you told him you didn't want to and that you had an injury. In that case I'd go to management. He's risking your safety and he's risking a lawsuit for the gym if you get hurt by an employee basically forcing you to do an exercise.
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
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    I'm really curious as to what he was talking about an exercise using your crotch.

    Mostly because your crotch doesn't exercise.

    The only think I can think of is doing a bridge lift- which isn't a crotch exercise- it's for your hamstring/glutes.

    But I'm interested in hearing it.
  • z85zz
    z85zz Posts: 17 Member
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    He was telling me to do a glute bridge with a heavier bar bell. I meant he knelt next to me so his head was far too near my crotch. Yes the crotch doesn't get exercised but it is heavily involved in that one!
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
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    It's an excellent exercise.

    I still think him pressing you is wrong- but in this case regarding your "crotch exercise"- meh. I think you're putting to much emphasis on it.
  • z85zz
    z85zz Posts: 17 Member
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    Yes I've been doing it for years without any help.
  • 3bambi3
    3bambi3 Posts: 1,650 Member
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    Op, don't embellish, just tell him 'no' and then continue to do your routine. Under no circumstances do any exercise he asks you to do. Also, I'd approach management about him being overly-pushy and not listening to you when you told him about your physical limitations.
  • Kimo159
    Kimo159 Posts: 508 Member
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    I'm going to preface this with letting you know that I feel bad for you and this is a crappy, uncomfortable situation. This is how I would deal with it: I would go into the gym and forget about him, assuming he doesn't come up to you again, then it's all good. Stop trying to see where he is and giving yourself unnecessary anxiety over the situation. If he comes up to you again tell him point blank something to the effect of "I appreciate that you're trying to help me but I'm not looking for a personal trainer and would prefer to work out on my own, please leave me alone". If he insists tell him you'll take it to management. This makes it crystal clear that you don't want him coming up to you and giving you advice. I'm a firm believer in trying to resolve situations on my own first and getting management involved when that doesn't work. But, I'm a pretty straight forward person so I understand that you might not be comfortable or want to do what I would necessarily do in that situation.
  • 3bambi3
    3bambi3 Posts: 1,650 Member
    edited January 2017
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    rainbowbow wrote: »
    In all fairness, I am wondering if you are doing something wrong and may injure yourself. You say he mentioned that he thought you were going to fall over.

    Here's the deal, if i see someone in the gym performing exercises wrong repeatedly, I will definitely do the same thing and come up and offer to help. If you continue to do it wrong I will probably also stare slack jawed and cringe. I feel personally responsible as a trainer to stop horrible form.

    Now... Is it possible that you are actually being defensive and blowing this out of the water?

    I am not trying to side with him, i'm just wondering because if you injure yourself on their premises they are liable. If you are performing exercises dangerously and he DIDN'T say something, that would be a bad call on his part. Tell him you don't want his advice and that will be the end of it. If not, Obviously go to a manager, but I assume the manager will speak with said employee and they will discuss liability together.

    We had to ban this guy who wanted to come into the weight lifting section and perform what I can only call "crossfit" because he was just being dangerous.

    I initially had the same thought until he pressured her do additional movements for no apparent reason, like the wall stretch and adding weight for her glute bridge when she said she didn't want to. For me, that extends far beyond being concerned about someone's form.
  • z85zz
    z85zz Posts: 17 Member
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    I was cautious of falling because I was doing an exercise I avoid because of injury. If I was doing something wrong he wouldn't have tried to encourage me to lift a heavier weight. I also work out regularly next to the other PTs (they usually work out before their shift) and they've never said a word. I think I'm quite experienced compared to a lot of women in there.
    I think this is going a bit round in circles now. I appreciate everyone's input. I just feel I felt uncomfortable for a reason.
  • z85zz
    z85zz Posts: 17 Member
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    He never mentioned my form just wanting me to 'do more'.
  • fitoverfortymom
    fitoverfortymom Posts: 3,452 Member
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    sarko15 wrote: »
    rdl81 wrote: »
    sarko15 wrote: »
    Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
    You are a kind person. I would raise a sheetstorm that some people would almost get fired. My experience with this was in an Equinox where a trainer was getting to sign me up for Equifit and personal training. Second time I was a little buggered with the unsolicited advice. Third time, I went an a tirade, his manager came to me and apologized. He disappeared for a week. He came back and would never be in the same area as I was.

    You are not being helped. You are being harassed. Stand up for yourself and talk to the management.
    Not disagreeing with your comment about her being kind, but making excuses for a harasser shouldn't be considered "kind," I'm sorry. It might not look like he's doing it to anyone else, but he probably is. All these creeps do. By reporting him, you might also be helping another woman at the gym who also feels mortified by this man. Don't be kind or make excuses for this man, because regardless of his reasons, they're inappropriate. If I were a member of your gym and saw that, I'd go right up to him and yell in his face to leave you alone, honestly.

    Wow! So you assume he only talks to women and not guys?!

    Here is bombshell he works in a gym as a gym instructor it's his job to instruct/help the gym members and sell pt he needs to talk to "people" to do that.

    If you made it very clear your not interested then I agree with everything above if you haven't then you should make it crystal clear once and then if he does it again then complain.

    I mean, I (and you) only have the information OP gave, and she said she told him no, twice. So if you want to defend someone who, gym instructor or not, was out of bounds (seriously, unsolicited advice I understand, but no trainer should ever mention my crotch. Ever.) that's your decision. But I firmly believe that if someone feels uncomfortable, they should speak up. And telling management won't necessarily get the guy fired, it'll cause them to look into it farther. And if this guy has a clean record, he's perfectly safe. But she's a paying member of the gym, she has a right not to be made feel uncomfortable.

    Zero percent of anyone who is not my husband gets to comment about my crotch. It would be considered harassment for *anyone* else to comment about it without consent.
  • VioletRojo
    VioletRojo Posts: 596 Member
    edited January 2017
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    Zero percent of anyone who is not my husband gets to comment about my crotch. It would be considered harassment for *anyone* else to comment about it without consent.

    He didn't comment on her crotch, OP felt he was too close to it.
    z85zz wrote: »
    He was telling me to do a glute bridge with a heavier bar bell. I meant he knelt next to me so his head was far too near my crotch. Yes the crotch doesn't get exercised but it is heavily involved in that one!

  • rosnz
    rosnz Posts: 91 Member
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    I would tell him your intent " please leave me alone, I prefer to exercise alone and I do not want your advice. If you don't I will have to speak to the management because this constant pestering when I have asked you to stop is unprofessional" Facts and cards on table. Then if he continues you have much stronger case to management.
  • MoveitlikeManda
    MoveitlikeManda Posts: 846 Member
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    id seriously want to tell him to f**k off,

    i think maybe you are being too polite and where as my reaction would be too rude you need to find a middle ground, be assertive and if he trys to make you do something that you know will hurt again really stand your ground.

    he dont know you or your requirements so has no right to MAKE you do anything

    may next tell him, "im fine as I am thanks" and if he continues "Im sure there are people here who want you help so go and help them, leave me alone" and if he dont get the message a nice loud "no thank you" and walk away.

    if you continue to have issues with him tho defo leave a thing in the comments box (which should mean a manager will talk to him) if that dont work id speak to management in person
  • ajwcyclist2016
    ajwcyclist2016 Posts: 161 Member
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    At the end of the day you day I'm pretty sure you are capable of asking for help or advice if needed or wanted. Just go do your routine and enjoy.

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