Gym Instructor won't leave me alone.
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I've only been to the gym once since I posted and he wasn't there. If he makes me feel uncomfortable in any way I will speak to management tomorrow. I don't want to get anyone fired, but I don't want a man making me feel inferior and intimidated in a gym I've been at for nearly two years.
Thanks all.
You won't get him fired. You wouldn't be making a complaint about a frivolous thing. If he were to get fired, and that's a big maybe, it would be because he was already warned about this behavior/already on probabtion and he continued to do it anyway. He would be the one getting himself fired. Not you.6 -
I assume he is on probation period (unless that's only a uk thing) he has been there less than 3 weeks so they can prob just say it's not working out.
One alternative would be to maybe voice your concerns to a female trainer there if they have them and u would feel more comfortable doing that. Say you think he is being to pushy and it makes u uncomfortable but ur not the sort of person that's really assertive say you thought about going to management but you don't want to be seen overacting or get him in trouble if he is just being a pushy salesperson.
If the female trainer is a half decent person they would say something to him for you and if he is just a pushy pt will leave you alone (and feel embarished). If he isn't and he keeps it up go to management as he clearly has a problem0 -
Hon, if you complain and he gets fired, you can be assured you were not the only complaint.4
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I appreciate all comments from both sides. I am concerned I am over reacting but I didn't feel in a position not to do the exercises he asked me to. As I said I felt like I was being told off at school. When he asked me to do an exercise for him I said 'No, I can't do that I have *insert injury*' (even told him it ruined my dance career). He still pushed me to do it for him. I again, said 'really? I don't want to.' He then said, yea 'you look like you are scared you are going to fall over.'
He then tried to show me a wall stretching exercise which I knew would hurt. I said, no I physically can't do that, he insisted. Maybe I'm a wimp, but I felt pressured.
The second time I was lying on the floor just finished and he offered to help me with something. I said no, and that I didn't really want to try. He still insisted I tried. I did one rep, and said 'sorry, I'm pretty knackered'. And he backed off a bit but he still kept going on. I also wasn't comfortable doing an exercise that mostly involved my crotch!
The other twice I have seen him watching me (through the mirror I'm not looking for him) and my friend said, don't worry there is no WAY he will approach you twice.
You have to pay for personal training services at my gym, the only time the staff are milling about is when they are cleaning. I've never had anyone chat to me before.
I agree that he was being unprofessional by not picking up on your reluctance. However, some guys do not understand No unless it is clear and unambiguous. Going along with his suggestions sends mixed messages.
I recommend you watch Terminator 2 and the next time you are in a situation like this channel up some Linda Hamilton as she's breaking out of the hospital attitude
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Wear Earphones!!!1
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If you have been clear and said "no thank you I am fine", and he continued to push it then yes absolutely mention it to the management. Unfortunately as women we tend to get men that want to help us, without considering it might make us uncomfortable and without asking us if we even want it! Many times they don't realize they are making us feel weird but if it IS making you uncomfortable then it needs to be mentioned you deserve to feel comfortable at the gym.0
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Couple of thoughtsI've only been to the gym once since I posted and he wasn't there. If he makes me feel uncomfortable in any way I will speak to management tomorrow. I don't want to get anyone fired, but I don't want a man making me feel inferior and intimidated in a gym I've been at for nearly two years.
Thanks all.
- you said you know your stuff, so don't be self conscious and let his actions bother you (hard to do maybe but try it on)
- remember he's a wolf hunting for clients, so he can get paid. Such trainers are not on salary.
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He should have picked up on your hints but, at the same time, you shouldn't have gone through with routines you know would be painful because it sends a signal to him that you really can do the things he's asking..because you did do them. IMO it's unfair to go to management about his behaviour until you've told him in no uncertain terms that you don't want his help and you also don't cave and do the exercises anyway.3
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I don't wear earphones during my weights routine because I have nowhere to put my phone, although it would be funny to ignore him when they are clearly not plugged in to anything!
I'm not a weak or shy person, he made me feel intimidated! I'd much prefer a women's only workout area, men in general looking at us is bad enough, without the instructors joining in.1 -
He is trying to flog his services, he's put posters up everywhere charging £1 a session!0
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He needs to be told, if not by you, his management. You have a regime that works for you - full stop. He needs to back away...0
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Wireless earphones.1
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Alatariel75 wrote: »Hon, if you complain and he gets fired, you can be assured you were not the only complaint.
^^^Yep!2 -
I don't wear earphones during my weights routine because I have nowhere to put my phone, although it would be funny to ignore him when they are clearly not plugged in to anything!
I'm not a weak or shy person, he made me feel intimidated! I'd much prefer a women's only workout area, men in general looking at us is bad enough, without the instructors joining in.
I do this when I work out at the Y. The wire just dangles or gets tucked into my bra. I don't care if anyone sees that it isn't plugged in - it's just a signal that I'm not open to idle chit chat.2 -
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If he's making you uncomfortable, I have no doubt, time to notify the management. If that doesn't work, drop a weight on his toes.0
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Tell him you are a Beachbody coach and would just LOVE to talk to him about Shakeology. He'll never come near you again.
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He is trying to flog his services, he's put posters up everywhere charging £1 a session!
it sounds like being absolutely clear that he's overstepping would actually be doing him a favour in the long term. his 'bedside' manner definitely sounds as if it needs some work.
on the demoralization thing . . . it reminds me of getting my hair cut. doesn't matter who i go to or what the real story is, people who make a living selling product necessarily have to look for something that's 'wrong' just so they can create a reason why you should buy the solution from them. iow, it's just opportunistic negging. it's not based in objectivity, is the point - so there's no reason to over-internalize it.
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Wireless headphones is the equivalent of an ostrich putting its head in the sand and won't solve the problem of the OP being aware that he's staring at her. If he's making her feel uncomfortable, its not unreasonable to assume that he's making other gym goers uncomfortable as well. Sharing her concerns with management will likely be a much more effective approach.Wireless earphones.
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I'd much prefer a women's only workout area, men in general looking at us is bad enough, without the instructors joining in.He is trying to flog his services, he's put posters up everywhere charging £1 a session!
What gym is this? Doesn't sound that nice, clearly management are happy with his hard sell PT as they allow the posters. Have you thought about trying another gym not just because of this trainer but if you don't feel comfortable in the workout area anyway due to the men that are in there. All gyms tend to have a different atmosphere so maybe see if there is an alternative you would prefer.2 -
any update to this?0
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rainbowbow wrote: »In all fairness, I am wondering if you are doing something wrong and may injure yourself. You say he mentioned that he thought you were going to fall over.
Here's the deal, if i see someone in the gym performing exercises wrong repeatedly, I will definitely do the same thing and come up and offer to help. If you continue to do it wrong I will probably also stare slack jawed and cringe. I feel personally responsible as a trainer to stop horrible form.
Now... Is it possible that you are actually being defensive and blowing this out of the water?
I am not trying to side with him, i'm just wondering because if you injure yourself on their premises they are liable. If you are performing exercises dangerously and he DIDN'T say something, that would be a bad call on his part. Tell him you don't want his advice and that will be the end of it. If not, Obviously go to a manager, but I assume the manager will speak with said employee and they will discuss liability together.
We had to ban this guy who wanted to come into the weight lifting section and perform what I can only call "crossfit" because he was just being dangerous.
I initially had the same thought until he pressured her do additional movements for no apparent reason, like the wall stretch and adding weight for her glute bridge when she said she didn't want to. For me, that extends far beyond being concerned about someone's form.
Oh please. Any workout is dangerous if you do it incorrectly, not just Crossfit. That's the point of a good coach. If you injure yourself, you're the idiot who wasn't taught correctly and/or didn't care enough to learn.0 -
Whats wrong with your crotch angle? I would politely ask him to not speak to you again and if he continues go to a manager0
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I can't believe it has been three months since I first posted this. To be honest, I started going to the gym at a time when I knew he wouldn't be there, and *touch wood* he hasn't bothered me since. There was an incident where he came over, and bothered all of the women around me, I just sat completely still until he went away. Funny, in the 5 minutes he was there, every single one of them suddenly finished their workout, I guess it wasn't just me. He caught me on the stairs once, and talked about his lunch, that's about it! I'll be moving gyms in the summer when I move house
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A bunch of people here keep saying to say something like thanks for your help but no thanks. Don't say that you are not thankful he is harnessing you. Say "Please go away I do not want you training me or interrupting my workout". If he speaks again repeat that word for word. Third time you need to say it turn and go to front desk and ask to speak to manager about trainer not leaving you alone. If he tries to hand you a weight don't grab it even if that means weight falls to the ground.0
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I disagree with the people saying to complain to management.
IF you are very direct with him and he doesn't then leave you alone, then and only then would I go to management. But before you do that, the fair thing to do is be very direct with him. Say something like "I appreciate your attempt to help, but I really strongly prefer to work out alone and uninterrupted. I do exercises in a specific way because of injuries I have and instruction from a great physical therapist I am working with (say this whether true or not...sometimes the polite lie prevents a lot of problems in situations like this.) I know you mean well, but I am asking you not to attempt to correct my form or interfere in my workouts. This just throws me off and is counterproductive."
I generally have a problems with people who immediately run to somebody higher up (potentially risking somebody's job) without first making a serious attempt to work out the issue directly with the person. BUt if you do this...you must be clear...and he STILL persists...then yes, you definitely should complain to management.0 -
I can't believe it has been three months since I first posted this. To be honest, I started going to the gym at a time when I knew he wouldn't be there, and *touch wood* he hasn't bothered me since. There was an incident where he came over, and bothered all of the women around me, I just sat completely still until he went away. Funny, in the 5 minutes he was there, every single one of them suddenly finished their workout, I guess it wasn't just me. He caught me on the stairs once, and talked about his lunch, that's about it! I'll be moving gyms in the summer when I move house
wow seriously?
what is wrong with looking at him and telling him straight up...NO.
end of discussion and enforcing that no...
I get that people aren't as 'take no bs' as me but come on...2 -
What do I do? I've never seen him come up to anyone else, and there was a lady next to me really struggling with an exercise and he didn't help her. I feel uncomfortable and embarrassed, if I wanted a personal trainer, I would hire a woman!
Caveat: Haven't read 122 replies.
You're tried being nice. Tell him to *kitten* off, and if he talks to you again go to gym management using the magic words "hostile environment", "harassment", and "stalking".0 -
It's ok for a trainer to go up to you once in a while when working out but what you're saying sounds like harassing now. Guy trainers like to flirt sometimes because he knows he can get more women clients I've seen it before. Trainers have to go by code of ethics. I'd definitely file a complaint! Members should go to trainers for the most part unless someone is doing something wrong where he or she can possibly cause an injury then a trainer can go up and help with tips.0
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