For the guys on MFP: is this his way of jokingly flirting or just chit chat
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Ahh to be young and naive. I miss those days. (not really)2
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You said you are currently seeing someone? Casually mention him the next time he hints at you two hanging or demanding to know where you are headed. Just laugh if he mentions glasses of water or smoking or something ridiculous and say you will have to get the ok from your boyfriend or "yeah, don't think my man will be kosher with that but hey, I'll ask to make sure!"
It will gently let him down and tell him that you aren't available at the time. If he tries to convince you to leave him, just tell him you are flattered but for now you are in a happy place.
I've dealt with both the complete creepy stalker and the socially inept. The stalker doesn't quit. He keeps pushing his agenda like a throw back cave man. Those types have zero respect for you. And when they ask "why did you leave " .. they mean it and want to train you to seek permission first. This guy sounds disturbing. I've never known a socially inept boy ask questions like that.. only the control freaks.
Please tell me you are one of those women that if a guy did get abusive, you aren't the boohoo cowering type. Take .. him.. out. Never let anyone bully you. You are an adult not a little girl anymore so don't let them control you like a parent.2 -
Well he's obviously flirting... even if he is joking, it's still flirting.
The real question is... Is he off putting.
However that's something that only you can answer... Sounds to me like he is off putting, just to aggressive.2 -
Not a guy. His "flirting" seems creepy to me and doesn't seem like you are having fun with it.
Does he know you are involved with someone and not interested? I'd make that clear right away.
I'd also make it clear that the behavior is making you uncomfortable and ask him to stop.
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Not a guy. His "flirting" seems creepy to me and doesn't seem like you are having fun with it.
Does he know you are involved with someone and not interested? I'd make that clear right away.
I'd also make it clear that the behavior is making you uncomfortable and ask him to stop.
No he doesn't know but I wanted to say something without coming off as rude or anything0 -
Ok - but you might have a bigger problem on your hands than simply putting an end to some unwanted flirtation. Just be careful with "James"...Ahh to be young and naive. I miss those days. (not really)Cerealsensei wrote: »He's jokingly flirting to see if you'll take the bait.JohnnyPenso wrote: »The answer would be the same regardless of the situation. Just tell him you don't want him to get the wrong idea, you have someone else and you're not interested and you want to keep your relationship on a professional level. There's no need to embarass him at this point so do it in private and do it politely but firmly, no joking around or laughing or hinting that if you weren't with someone you'd date him etc.ClubSilencio wrote: »LMAO. Esteemed MFP gentleman here.
It's both. He has nothing to lose; he's at work trying to entertain himself and make the time pass easier. But if you take him up on his offer, he's one step closer to the knickers. It's whatevs to him.
ajthompson_5 wrote: »Hi, I am not one of the men on MFP. I am a 49 year old mom and grandmother. After reading your post I can't help but let you know that if I were in your position, the next time he approached me I would say, "Stop, before you say another word," and I would hold up my phone, "I am going to record every word you say. I have had enough. You are freaking me out so please leave me alone. Another word and I am going to file harassment charges AND, if you decide to get upset and try something anywhere at anytime because you are angry, just a word of advice, I am always packing!" Then I would walk away and avoid him at all cost. Especially in the parking lot, especially if it is at night. Be smart.
Thanks for all of the answers you guys!!
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Not a guy. His "flirting" seems creepy to me and doesn't seem like you are having fun with it.
Does he know you are involved with someone and not interested? I'd make that clear right away.
I'd also make it clear that the behavior is making you uncomfortable and ask him to stop.
No he doesn't know but I wanted to say something without coming off as rude or anything
You could attempt to casually throw it into a conversation. Like, the weekend is coming up so if he asks you what your plans are you could say, "my bf and I are going to ______."
Thank u good idea0 -
Sounds like he's flirting.1
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JstTheWayIam wrote: »Well he's obviously flirting... even if he is joking, it's still flirting.
The real question is... Is he off putting.
However that's something that only you can answer... Sounds to me like he is off putting, just to aggressive.
This. He's flirting, seeing if you'll take the bait. I don't think he sounds creepy, but I'm kind of a flirt too (albeit a female one). It really comes down to if/how he makes you uncomfortable.
If you just think you're on different pages, mention the boyfriend. If you get a really bad vibe that he's going to appear in the back seat of your car, have a talk with HR.
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I've dealt with this before, and sometimes it becomes a total game for the guy, they love the chase so unless you are super clear that you are not interested or available, he will keep working at ya until he gets what he wants. It's typical player behavior. lol I guess it just depends if its bothering you or not. If it is, I would try to avoid him as much as possible, and maybe somehow let him overhear you talking about another relationship or someone else you are interested in. If that doesn't stop him, you might just need to spell it out to him to back off. Don't worry about hurting his feelings, he will be fine. Good luck & don't let it get into your head too much.1
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James is attempting to seize ownership and control of you. It is NOT flirting. It is NOT chit-chat. It is life and death dangerous.2
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Speaking as a senior administrator of a university where we are hyper-aware of this sort of thing, the guy's behavior is inappropriate for a workplace. He thinks its flirting, I consider it harassment. If you don't like it, it is best to let him know that it is unwelcome. Once you do that, if he continues to do it then it is unquestionably harassment. Either way, let your boss know that it is happening and that it is unwelcome, and document that you have done so (for example, tell your boss via email and save a copy of the email). Your emotional well-being is more important than the risk of being considered rude for defending yourself from unwanted advances.3
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Please don't threaten to shoot your coworker for flirting with you poorly ... I agree with JohnnyPenso. Seems the most sane and reasonable thing to do. He isn't stalking you. He's trying to see if you're interested, though awkwardly.1
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ajthompson_5 wrote: »Hi, I am not one of the men on MFP. I am a 49 year old mom and grandmother. After reading your post I can't help but let you know that if I were in your position, the next time he approached me I would say, "Stop, before you say another word," and I would hold up my phone, "I am going to record every word you say. I have had enough. You are freaking me out so please leave me alone. Another word and I am going to file harassment charges AND, if you decide to get upset and try something anywhere at anytime because you are angry, just a word of advice, I am always packing!" Then I would walk away and avoid him at all cost. Especially in the parking lot, especially if it is at night. Be smart.
Well that escalated quickly.6 -
ajthompson_5 wrote: »Hi, I am not one of the men on MFP. I am a 49 year old mom and grandmother. After reading your post I can't help but let you know that if I were in your position, the next time he approached me I would say, "Stop, before you say another word," and I would hold up my phone, "I am going to record every word you say. I have had enough. You are freaking me out so please leave me alone. Another word and I am going to file harassment charges AND, if you decide to get upset and try something anywhere at anytime because you are angry, just a word of advice, I am always packing!" Then I would walk away and avoid him at all cost. Especially in the parking lot, especially if it is at night. Be smart.5
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I don't understand what the big deal is here. I always pull out my gun when I walk in any parking lot. Hoodlums, bangers, and the ever dangerous Girl Scouts.
None of them should be in the parking lot or on my lawn.5 -
KrazyDaizy wrote: »I don't understand what the big deal is here. I always pull out my gun when I walk in any parking lot. Hoodlums, bangers, and the ever dangerous Girl Scouts.
None of them should be in the parking lot or on my lawn.
I threaten the life of any man who looks at me. Obviously.2 -
KrazyDaizy wrote: »I don't understand what the big deal is here. I always pull out my gun when I walk in any parking lot. Hoodlums, bangers, and the ever dangerous Girl Scouts.
None of them should be in the parking lot or on my lawn.
MURICA
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