For the guys on MFP: is this his way of jokingly flirting or just chit chat
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JstTheWayIam wrote: »Well he's obviously flirting... even if he is joking, it's still flirting.
The real question is... Is he off putting.
However that's something that only you can answer... Sounds to me like he is off putting, just to aggressive.
This. He's flirting, seeing if you'll take the bait. I don't think he sounds creepy, but I'm kind of a flirt too (albeit a female one). It really comes down to if/how he makes you uncomfortable.
If you just think you're on different pages, mention the boyfriend. If you get a really bad vibe that he's going to appear in the back seat of your car, have a talk with HR.
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I've dealt with this before, and sometimes it becomes a total game for the guy, they love the chase so unless you are super clear that you are not interested or available, he will keep working at ya until he gets what he wants. It's typical player behavior. lol I guess it just depends if its bothering you or not. If it is, I would try to avoid him as much as possible, and maybe somehow let him overhear you talking about another relationship or someone else you are interested in. If that doesn't stop him, you might just need to spell it out to him to back off. Don't worry about hurting his feelings, he will be fine. Good luck & don't let it get into your head too much.1
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James is attempting to seize ownership and control of you. It is NOT flirting. It is NOT chit-chat. It is life and death dangerous.2
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Speaking as a senior administrator of a university where we are hyper-aware of this sort of thing, the guy's behavior is inappropriate for a workplace. He thinks its flirting, I consider it harassment. If you don't like it, it is best to let him know that it is unwelcome. Once you do that, if he continues to do it then it is unquestionably harassment. Either way, let your boss know that it is happening and that it is unwelcome, and document that you have done so (for example, tell your boss via email and save a copy of the email). Your emotional well-being is more important than the risk of being considered rude for defending yourself from unwanted advances.3
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Please don't threaten to shoot your coworker for flirting with you poorly ... I agree with JohnnyPenso. Seems the most sane and reasonable thing to do. He isn't stalking you. He's trying to see if you're interested, though awkwardly.1
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ajthompson_5 wrote: »Hi, I am not one of the men on MFP. I am a 49 year old mom and grandmother. After reading your post I can't help but let you know that if I were in your position, the next time he approached me I would say, "Stop, before you say another word," and I would hold up my phone, "I am going to record every word you say. I have had enough. You are freaking me out so please leave me alone. Another word and I am going to file harassment charges AND, if you decide to get upset and try something anywhere at anytime because you are angry, just a word of advice, I am always packing!" Then I would walk away and avoid him at all cost. Especially in the parking lot, especially if it is at night. Be smart.
Well that escalated quickly.6 -
ajthompson_5 wrote: »Hi, I am not one of the men on MFP. I am a 49 year old mom and grandmother. After reading your post I can't help but let you know that if I were in your position, the next time he approached me I would say, "Stop, before you say another word," and I would hold up my phone, "I am going to record every word you say. I have had enough. You are freaking me out so please leave me alone. Another word and I am going to file harassment charges AND, if you decide to get upset and try something anywhere at anytime because you are angry, just a word of advice, I am always packing!" Then I would walk away and avoid him at all cost. Especially in the parking lot, especially if it is at night. Be smart.5
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I don't understand what the big deal is here. I always pull out my gun when I walk in any parking lot. Hoodlums, bangers, and the ever dangerous Girl Scouts.
None of them should be in the parking lot or on my lawn.5 -
KrazyDaizy wrote: »I don't understand what the big deal is here. I always pull out my gun when I walk in any parking lot. Hoodlums, bangers, and the ever dangerous Girl Scouts.
None of them should be in the parking lot or on my lawn.
I threaten the life of any man who looks at me. Obviously.2 -
KrazyDaizy wrote: »I don't understand what the big deal is here. I always pull out my gun when I walk in any parking lot. Hoodlums, bangers, and the ever dangerous Girl Scouts.
None of them should be in the parking lot or on my lawn.
MURICA
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Let me start this post by saying I'm not interested in any of my coworkers I am currently seeing someone but I would like to know the answer to this :
I work with this guy named James who talks to me some times not all of the time ..today we worked together just me and him ... and he asked me when was my 21st birthday and I told him it's coming up in August and he said
"if you ever want someone to smoke or drink with them I'm your guy" he said I like to turn up and I laughed and said I'll keep that in mind... a few hours later James went to the bathroom and my team leader moved me to the other side of the warehouse so once we went to break James walked up beside me and said "so you just left me at this side of the warehouse by myself "?
I said "our team leader moved me to help out with the other side And he said "how are we gonna make this relationship work if you leave and don't tell me when or where you going" and he said we"re supposed to be like this (he pushed his hands together ) and I said we are like that And then he said how are we going to have a glass and you don't tell me when to put the water and ice in I laughed because I was confused and walked to break
Once I came back from break I walked past him and he asked me "where are you going now?" I said I'm going back to the side of the warehouse I was moved to " and he said "I was about to talk to you and I said I gotta go" then he smiled rolled his eyes and said bye
He does flirt with me sometimes and take stuff off of my work desk
Is James attractive? If so, it's just harmless flirting. If not...restraining order time.6 -
You know, if you can't even tell if it's flirting or chit chat, it probably doesn't rise to the level of sexual harassment.3
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ajthompson_5 wrote: »Hi, I am not one of the men on MFP. I am a 49 year old mom and grandmother. After reading your post I can't help but let you know that if I were in your position, the next time he approached me I would say, "Stop, before you say another word," and I would hold up my phone, "I am going to record every word you say. I have had enough. You are freaking me out so please leave me alone. Another word and I am going to file harassment charges AND, if you decide to get upset and try something anywhere at anytime because you are angry, just a word of advice, I am always packing!" Then I would walk away and avoid him at all cost. Especially in the parking lot, especially if it is at night. Be smart.
That escalated quickly.0 -
I feel for you, OP, I was just in a similar situation. My male coworker kept asking me how my day was and casually mentioning the weather but it made me super uncomfortable. I went to my district manager who didn't think my concern was an overreaction at all and I am in the process of getting a restraining order. Good luck and carry pepper spray!!*
*Disclose to your workplace you have it on you and I'm sure it will be ok to use if necessary.2 -
ajthompson_5 wrote: »Hi, I am not one of the men on MFP. I am a 49 year old mom and grandmother. After reading your post I can't help but let you know that if I were in your position, the next time he approached me I would say, "Stop, before you say another word," and I would hold up my phone, "I am going to record every word you say. I have had enough. You are freaking me out so please leave me alone. Another word and I am going to file harassment charges AND, if you decide to get upset and try something anywhere at anytime because you are angry, just a word of advice, I am always packing!" Then I would walk away and avoid him at all cost. Especially in the parking lot, especially if it is at night. Be smart.
Wow, I wish I didn't live in California. We are not allowed to have guns here or else I would take your advice for my own situation. Do you think mentioning I have a Taser and/or mace will be just as effective?0 -
_riddikulus_ wrote: »I feel for you, OP, I was just in a similar situation. My male coworker kept asking me how my day was and casually mentioning the weather but it made me super uncomfortable. I went to my district manager who didn't think my concern was an overreaction at all and I am in the process of getting a restraining order. Good luck and carry pepper spray!!*
*Disclose to your workplace you have it on you and I'm sure it will be ok to use if necessary.
Is there more to this story because asking how was your day and casually mentioning the weather is chit chat, not harassment. From the way you wrote it, it does sound like over-reacting.
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_riddikulus_ wrote: »I feel for you, OP, I was just in a similar situation. My male coworker kept asking me how my day was and casually mentioning the weather but it made me super uncomfortable. I went to my district manager who didn't think my concern was an overreaction at all and I am in the process of getting a restraining order. Good luck and carry pepper spray!!*
*Disclose to your workplace you have it on you and I'm sure it will be ok to use if necessary.
You should have shot him on the spot.4 -
I have a boyfriend please step away you have 10 seconds to comply5 -
_riddikulus_ wrote: »I feel for you, OP, I was just in a similar situation. My male coworker kept asking me how my day was and casually mentioning the weather but it made me super uncomfortable. I went to my district manager who didn't think my concern was an overreaction at all and I am in the process of getting a restraining order. Good luck and carry pepper spray!!*
*Disclose to your workplace you have it on you and I'm sure it will be ok to use if necessary.
I NEVER DID ANYTHING SOCIAL UNACCEPTABLE AND I STAND BY THAT!
You just don't know what you missed
My darling, you were meant for me even though you don't agree, I will be there for you.3 -
I hate that you feel the need to talk bad about me everywhere but any time I try to call your phone you don't answer, you're obviously still thinking about me if you will go and lie to people on the internet0
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LiftingRiot wrote: »_riddikulus_ wrote: »I feel for you, OP, I was just in a similar situation. My male coworker kept asking me how my day was and casually mentioning the weather but it made me super uncomfortable. I went to my district manager who didn't think my concern was an overreaction at all and I am in the process of getting a restraining order. Good luck and carry pepper spray!!*
*Disclose to your workplace you have it on you and I'm sure it will be ok to use if necessary.
Is there more to this story because asking how was your day and casually mentioning the weather is chit chat, not harassment. From the way you wrote it, it does sound like over-reacting.
See above... still think I'm overreacting?! That was very rude and judgmental of you to say without knowing me or my struggles.2 -
Struggles? Love should be easy and simple but you make everything difficult0
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Why won't you answer my PM's, I can see you read them and you are posting here!1
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Whatever0
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Escloflowne wrote: »Struggles? Love should be easy and simple but you make everything difficult
You are just a speed bump on my journey to awesome. Don't let the truth hurts you too much.1 -
_riddikulus_ wrote: »Escloflowne wrote: »Struggles? Love should be easy and simple but you make everything difficult
You are just a speed bump on my journey to awesome. Don't let the truth hurts you too much.
So you'll ride over me at some point?0 -
Escloflowne wrote: »_riddikulus_ wrote: »Escloflowne wrote: »Struggles? Love should be easy and simple but you make everything difficult
You are just a speed bump on my journey to awesome. Don't let the truth hurts you too much.
So you'll ride over me at some point?
If she won't, I will...0 -
_riddikulus_ wrote: »LiftingRiot wrote: »_riddikulus_ wrote: »I feel for you, OP, I was just in a similar situation. My male coworker kept asking me how my day was and casually mentioning the weather but it made me super uncomfortable. I went to my district manager who didn't think my concern was an overreaction at all and I am in the process of getting a restraining order. Good luck and carry pepper spray!!*
*Disclose to your workplace you have it on you and I'm sure it will be ok to use if necessary.
Is there more to this story because asking how was your day and casually mentioning the weather is chit chat, not harassment. From the way you wrote it, it does sound like over-reacting.
See above... still think I'm overreacting?! That was very rude and judgmental of you to say without knowing me or my struggles.
Its coming into focus... I was on the fence with this one... I was confused, you didn't seem the type that guys like. I get it now though.0 -
LiftingRiot wrote: »_riddikulus_ wrote: »LiftingRiot wrote: »_riddikulus_ wrote: »I feel for you, OP, I was just in a similar situation. My male coworker kept asking me how my day was and casually mentioning the weather but it made me super uncomfortable. I went to my district manager who didn't think my concern was an overreaction at all and I am in the process of getting a restraining order. Good luck and carry pepper spray!!*
*Disclose to your workplace you have it on you and I'm sure it will be ok to use if necessary.
Is there more to this story because asking how was your day and casually mentioning the weather is chit chat, not harassment. From the way you wrote it, it does sound like over-reacting.
See above... still think I'm overreacting?! That was very rude and judgmental of you to say without knowing me or my struggles.
Its coming into focus... I was on the fence with this one... I was confused, you didn't seem the type that guys like. I get it now though.
What does that even mean?
Clearly she's
But more importantly, she has boobs.
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