Upset and need some kind words to offset horrible morning
Replies
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Yes I drink Sprite Zero (calorie free) most of the time. OB said it's fine because it still contains water and counts toward my fluid intake.
My Significant others have been helping out as best they can.
Yes, but Sprite Zero still contains artificial sweeteners like aspartame. San pellegrino Limonata is definitely a more healthy choice and sooooo delicious if you love lemon!0 -
MaddMaestro wrote: »Yes I drink Sprite Zero (calorie free) most of the time. OB said it's fine because it still contains water and counts toward my fluid intake.
My Significant others have been helping out as best they can.
Yes, but Sprite Zero still contains artificial sweeteners like aspartame. San pellegrino Limonata is definitely a more healthy choice and sooooo delicious if you love lemon!
Aspartame is not the devil...
Why should she stop drinking something she likes for something you like?7 -
MaddMaestro wrote: »Yes I drink Sprite Zero (calorie free) most of the time. OB said it's fine because it still contains water and counts toward my fluid intake.
My Significant others have been helping out as best they can.
Yes, but Sprite Zero still contains artificial sweeteners like aspartame. San pellegrino Limonata is definitely a more healthy choice and sooooo delicious if you love lemon!
Hi! I think you might find this thread of interest: http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1308408/why-aspartame-isnt-scary/p1
Elphie - you have so much love from people on this forum. I'm a quiet one but have been following your threads and am so rooting for you and baby. Sending many hugs.5 -
Didn't say I liked it, I said it was more healthy and it's delicious if you love lemon.ladyreva78 wrote: »
Aspartame is not the devil...
Why should she stop drinking something she likes for something you like?
Thanksanna_glassshoes wrote: »
Hi! I think you might find this thread of interest: http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1308408/why-aspartame-isnt-scary/p1
Elphie - you have so much love from people on this forum. I'm a quiet one but have been following your threads and am so rooting for you and baby. Sending many hugs.
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MaddMaestro wrote: »
Didn't say I liked it, I said it was more healthy and it's delicious if you love lemon.ladyreva78 wrote: »
Aspartame is not the devil...
Why should she stop drinking something she likes for something you like?
That does not invalidate the first half of my comment: why should she stop drinking something she likes?3 -
ladyreva78 wrote: »MaddMaestro wrote: »
Didn't say I liked it, I said it was more healthy and it's delicious if you love lemon.ladyreva78 wrote: »
Aspartame is not the devil...
Why should she stop drinking something she likes for something you like?
That does not invalidate the first half of my comment: why should she stop drinking something she likes?
Well, if I said I probably would only sound like her mom. Not really something she needs right now, is it?0 -
MaddMaestro wrote: »Yes I drink Sprite Zero (calorie free) most of the time. OB said it's fine because it still contains water and counts toward my fluid intake.
My Significant others have been helping out as best they can.
Yes, but Sprite Zero still contains artificial sweeteners like aspartame. San pellegrino Limonata is definitely a more healthy choice and sooooo delicious if you love lemon!
I don't buy into the fear mongering/paranoia against aspartame or any other artificial sweeteners.ladyreva78 wrote: »MaddMaestro wrote: »Yes I drink Sprite Zero (calorie free) most of the time. OB said it's fine because it still contains water and counts toward my fluid intake.
My Significant others have been helping out as best they can.
Yes, but Sprite Zero still contains artificial sweeteners like aspartame. San pellegrino Limonata is definitely a more healthy choice and sooooo delicious if you love lemon!
Aspartame is not the devil...
Why should she stop drinking something she likes for something you like?
Great-now I have a really weird image of Sprite Zero with devil horns lol.anna_glassshoes wrote: »MaddMaestro wrote: »Yes I drink Sprite Zero (calorie free) most of the time. OB said it's fine because it still contains water and counts toward my fluid intake.
My Significant others have been helping out as best they can.
Yes, but Sprite Zero still contains artificial sweeteners like aspartame. San pellegrino Limonata is definitely a more healthy choice and sooooo delicious if you love lemon!
Hi! I think you might find this thread of interest: http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1308408/why-aspartame-isnt-scary/p1
Elphie - you have so much love from people on this forum. I'm a quiet one but have been following your threads and am so rooting for you and baby. Sending many hugs.
Awww thank you.
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destruckto wrote: »There is a HUGE difference between criticism and continuing to harp on something after being told to stop/being extremely rude and butting in where you shouldn't.
There's no difference at all, actually, UNLESS the advice is TAKEN. If the advice is ignored, it behooves you to keep repeating the good word until the message sinks in. The only difference is that, for people who know how to take criticism, it generally only takes one application.
Yeah... no. If you give someone unsolicited advice and then continue to pester them about it, most people would be annoyed. That is a really good way to alienate your self from everyone/lose friends.2 -
Like others i have been following your journey. Can one of your SO's have a word with your mother? That they are concerned how your mum is upsetting you and how their concern is for the baby and their family?
Sometimes mums need to hear it from another than their own child2 -
dutchandkiwi wrote: »Like others i have been following your journey. Can one of your SO's have a word with your mother? That they are concerned how your mum is upsetting you and how their concern is for the baby and their family?
Sometimes mums need to hear it from another than their own child
They could, but stil doubtful that she'd listen.
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ladyreva78 wrote: »MaddMaestro wrote: »Yes I drink Sprite Zero (calorie free) most of the time. OB said it's fine because it still contains water and counts toward my fluid intake.
My Significant others have been helping out as best they can.
Yes, but Sprite Zero still contains artificial sweeteners like aspartame. San pellegrino Limonata is definitely a more healthy choice and sooooo delicious if you love lemon!
Aspartame is not the devil...
Why should she stop drinking something she likes for something you like?
Great-now I have a really weird image of Sprite Zero with devil horns lol.
And I need to clean my computer screen (and explain to my office mates why I started laughing nearly uncontrollably...
Imagine Sprite Zero with devil horns strolling into the office...0 -
Limit your contact with toxic family members. She keeps on, tell her she won't get to see her grandbaby. Case closed.
You cannot change her, you can only change how you react to what she does.0 -
Sorry Elphie...Its a mom thing...not a good thing we do I too am guilty at times. She probably knows how hard you worked at losing it in the first place and doesn't want to see you gain the weight back. But she needs to breathe and realize this is all part of the pregnancy which has been very hard on you. This too shall pass . Maybe you could just sit down with your mom and explain how its hurting your feelings and you know you don't want to gain weight but the doctor is watching and for now he doesn't want you to even think about it or stress yourself. Tell her weight gain stresses y ou out and your already stressed so lets save this conversation for after the baby. Then give her a hug. Hugs to you your getting close!!0
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ladyreva78 wrote: »ladyreva78 wrote: »MaddMaestro wrote: »Yes I drink Sprite Zero (calorie free) most of the time. OB said it's fine because it still contains water and counts toward my fluid intake.
My Significant others have been helping out as best they can.
Yes, but Sprite Zero still contains artificial sweeteners like aspartame. San pellegrino Limonata is definitely a more healthy choice and sooooo delicious if you love lemon!
Aspartame is not the devil...
Why should she stop drinking something she likes for something you like?
Great-now I have a really weird image of Sprite Zero with devil horns lol.
And I need to clean my computer screen (and explain to my office mates why I started laughing nearly uncontrollably...
Imagine Sprite Zero with devil horns strolling into the office...
Hahaha-sorry!!!Chef_Barbell wrote: »Limit your contact with toxic family members. She keeps on, tell her she won't get to see her grandbaby. Case closed.
You cannot change her, you can only change how you react to what she does.
Limiting contact is going to be hard since they moved on literally next door to us.
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ladyreva78 wrote: »ladyreva78 wrote: »MaddMaestro wrote: »Yes I drink Sprite Zero (calorie free) most of the time. OB said it's fine because it still contains water and counts toward my fluid intake.
My Significant others have been helping out as best they can.
Yes, but Sprite Zero still contains artificial sweeteners like aspartame. San pellegrino Limonata is definitely a more healthy choice and sooooo delicious if you love lemon!
Aspartame is not the devil...
Why should she stop drinking something she likes for something you like?
Great-now I have a really weird image of Sprite Zero with devil horns lol.
And I need to clean my computer screen (and explain to my office mates why I started laughing nearly uncontrollably...
Imagine Sprite Zero with devil horns strolling into the office...
Hahaha-sorry!!!Chef_Barbell wrote: »Limit your contact with toxic family members. She keeps on, tell her she won't get to see her grandbaby. Case closed.
You cannot change her, you can only change how you react to what she does.
Limiting contact is going to be hard since they moved on literally next door to us.
Ouch good luck with that. FWIW, We live in the next building from hubby's family. They are not my cup of tea to say the least (rude, racist, etc., etc.). We chose to limit contact. We didn't need that type of negativity around our family. What is going to happen once she starts being critical of your parenting choices? I hope you find some resolution.0 -
She herself is not a small woman and sometimes I just want to scream "yeah, I'm growing a baby, what's your excuse?"
Why don't you call her out on this? You can do it politely, but yes, ask her about her weight? Tell her you want your child to have a healthier grandmother. Maybe she will stop then. People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.3 -
Chef_Barbell wrote: »ladyreva78 wrote: »ladyreva78 wrote: »MaddMaestro wrote: »Yes I drink Sprite Zero (calorie free) most of the time. OB said it's fine because it still contains water and counts toward my fluid intake.
My Significant others have been helping out as best they can.
Yes, but Sprite Zero still contains artificial sweeteners like aspartame. San pellegrino Limonata is definitely a more healthy choice and sooooo delicious if you love lemon!
Aspartame is not the devil...
Why should she stop drinking something she likes for something you like?
Great-now I have a really weird image of Sprite Zero with devil horns lol.
And I need to clean my computer screen (and explain to my office mates why I started laughing nearly uncontrollably...
Imagine Sprite Zero with devil horns strolling into the office...
Hahaha-sorry!!!Chef_Barbell wrote: »Limit your contact with toxic family members. She keeps on, tell her she won't get to see her grandbaby. Case closed.
You cannot change her, you can only change how you react to what she does.
Limiting contact is going to be hard since they moved on literally next door to us.
Ouch good luck with that. FWIW, We live in the next building from hubby's family. They are not my cup of tea to say the least (rude, racist, etc., etc.). We chose to limit contact. We didn't need that type of negativity around our family. What is going to happen once she starts being critical of your parenting choices? I hope you find some resolution.
They literally just moved last month. Their old apartment was getting to be too expensive and they wanted to be closer for the baby.
When she starts to criticize our parenting choices, that is when we accidentally forget to give her a key after we change all the locks.3 -
She herself is not a small woman and sometimes I just want to scream "yeah, I'm growing a baby, what's your excuse?"
Why don't you call her out on this? You can do it politely, but yes, ask her about her weight? Tell her you want your child to have a healthier grandmother. Maybe she will stop then. People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.
I have in the past and it never ends well.0 -
MaddMaestro wrote: »Yes, but Sprite Zero still contains artificial sweeteners like aspartame. San pellegrino Limonata is definitely a more healthy choice and sooooo delicious if you love lemon!
It is also sooooo expensive. Probably about six times more per fl.oz than Sprite Zero. I don't know OP's financial situation, but I do know she'll have plenty of expenses when the baby comes. I suspect she'd rather spend her money on diapers than wasting it on overpriced water with lemons imported from Italy in fancy little glass bottles.
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MaddMaestro wrote: »Yes, but Sprite Zero still contains artificial sweeteners like aspartame. San pellegrino Limonata is definitely a more healthy choice and sooooo delicious if you love lemon!
It is also sooooo expensive. Probably about six times more per fl.oz than Sprite Zero. I don't know OP's financial situation, but I do know she'll have plenty of expenses when the baby comes. I suspect she'd rather spend her money on diapers than wasting it on overpriced water with lemons imported from Italy in fancy little glass bottles.
You are absolutely right. We wouldn't be able to afford it.0 -
I'm sorry you are going through this. My parents are a pain in the unwanted opinionated *kitten* also. I had to apologize to my mom just last night for verbally slapping her down. She is the guilt trip queen and likes to make everything about her. I snapped. She played wounded victim. I cooked down and took the entire blame for it. My dad is just an *kitten*. I will always be too fat, too poor, too ugly, too stupid and too lazy in his eyes. And he lives with me.. so I know the feeling of wanting to slap a parent down. It's hard gritting teeth and bearing with hateful people. I hope I won't become either of my parents when my kids are grown. So far so good. I am already one step ahead. I talk with my kids and admit my wrongs and ask their forgiveness then lecture them to grow up and be a better person than me then teach their kids to bear better person than them. Maybe we can break this cycle of self martyrdom.0
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I think family is important, but I'd move. Life is too short for this sort of *kitten* and this is an ongoing problem that will only get worse. We live 20 hours from my in-laws and 12 hours from my sister -- on purpose. My parents are totally fine and not intrusive, but I still won't live closer than a half-hour. It's better for our relationship, in both directions.1
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Wow! Your mother sounds a real peach! Try to rise above her comments.
Firstly, you are growing her grandchild - eat as well as you can. Both pregnancies, all I could eat was carbs, and little and often at that, or tons of fruit! I piled on weight, but I had two beautiful babies, so I don't mind (lost it using MFP).
Secondly, you have lost a lot of weight before, you can easily do that again.
Wishing you a good pregnancy and birth.0 -
@elph754 I hope you are feeling better today. Please just ignore the negativity most of us on here understand where you are coming from and it is ok to rant about it if you need to. I hope you have a great day and that you are getting along with your mom as best you can.
[Edited By MyFitnessPal Moderator]0 -
Firstly, congratulations on your incoming family addition - some great advice in this thread about letting negative comments from family go, sorry you've gone through that!
Now for the part I need everybody to read
I have cleaned this thread and really don't want to have to do it again - let's keep it in-line with the reason for posting and also with the Community Guidelines.
With respect,
Adam, MyFitnessPal Moderator0 -
I think family is important, but I'd move. Life is too short for this sort of *kitten* and this is an ongoing problem that will only get worse. We live 20 hours from my in-laws and 12 hours from my sister -- on purpose. My parents are totally fine and not intrusive, but I still won't live closer than a half-hour. It's better for our relationship, in both directions.
So much this...0 -
I've shared this story before. It twins up with your story.
My mother, now passed, had always struggled with her weight. She was always worried about my weight as well, and occasionally would say something about it. Not frequently, mind you, and not undeservedly. I did need to lose weight. But I'm pretty sure she was projecting, and seeing me overweight reflected badly on her.
When I finally lost weight "for good" she was very happy about it, but she started asking me more and more questions about my eating habits and my weight. I think she was sure I would "relapse." One year I was training for a difficult backpacking trip, and decided that my training was suffering because I was still eating in a bit of a deficit. So I started eating at maintenance, and a few weeks before the trip I even ate at a bit of a surplus. All intentional, and it worked pretty well.
We had a great but difficult trip (Philmont Scout Ranch, with my two older sons, for those who care). I sent my mom some photos. I was very proud of our accomplishment and was hoping to hear some words of praise. Instead, the very first thing she said was about one particular photo:
"Looks like you've put on some weight."
Through gritted teeth I informed her that discussions about my weight were out of bounds after that point. I still get agitated thinking about it now, three years later. I've forgiven her, and know she spoke out of her own insecurities. But it was irksome.
Here is the offending photo, from our approach to Mt. Baldy:
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I think family is important, but I'd move. Life is too short for this sort of *kitten* and this is an ongoing problem that will only get worse. We live 20 hours from my in-laws and 12 hours from my sister -- on purpose. My parents are totally fine and not intrusive, but I still won't live closer than a half-hour. It's better for our relationship, in both directions.
We don't have the means or budget to move right now.Makeitso39 wrote: »Wow! Your mother sounds a real peach! Try to rise above her comments.
Firstly, you are growing her grandchild - eat as well as you can. Both pregnancies, all I could eat was carbs, and little and often at that, or tons of fruit! I piled on weight, but I had two beautiful babies, so I don't mind (lost it using MFP).
Secondly, you have lost a lot of weight before, you can easily do that again.
Wishing you a good pregnancy and birth.
Thank you. And I keep trying to remind myself of that.@elph754 I hope you are feeling better today. Please just ignore the negativity most of us on here understand where you are coming from and it is ok to rant about it if you need to. I hope you have a great day and that you are getting along with your mom as best you can.
[Edited By MyFitnessPal Moderator]
Feeling a little better, but still a bit upset.AdamAthletic wrote: »Firstly, congratulations on your incoming family addition - some great advice in this thread about letting negative comments from family go, sorry you've gone through that!
Now for the part I need everybody to read
I have cleaned this thread and really don't want to have to do it again - let's keep it in-line with the reason for posting and also with the Community Guidelines.
With respect,
Adam, MyFitnessPal Moderator
I feel like I missed something, and glad I did. Sorry if it was something I said something that was part of the issue.
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Want to bang my head against a wall right now. So once again she comments how big I am getting at that the baby must be big because of how big I am.
As of tjatbis not bad enough, then she starts harping on how my hair isn't brushed and I'm still in PJs. Well duh-pjs are the only thing that still fit. Also, it takes almost all the energy I have just to get up and walk around... not spending time styling my hair. She she harps on about how I need to look good for my man (who is literally sitting next to me, biting His tongue because that wouldn't end well). She finally leaves and He goes-if there was an issue with what you are wearing or how you looked, Id be the first person to say something for obvious reasons.
She frustrates me. I told SOs that after baby is born, I need a party night (nightnournwith friends having fun/I don't drink). They agree lol.0 -
Man! Who says that to pregnant lady? I don't care what size you are, it should never be brought up unless it's a concern from your doctor. It sounds like she constantly spews a lot of negativity towards you. Just know that's HER crappy projection of herself, and not you. This a monumental moment in your life and you shouldn't let anyone who doesn't lift you up have a say in your wellbeing. Wishing you and the baby the best!0
This discussion has been closed.
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