Forced into eating a cupcake

graysmom2005
graysmom2005 Posts: 1,882 Member
edited September 30 in Health and Weight Loss
I TRIED! My girlfriend's daughter had her birthday at a Japanese hibachi grill tonight. I was good and did NOT have the hibachi, but ordered sushi instead. Still the calorie count was high..ish. BUT then she brought an onslaught of cupcakes. One for everybody. EVERYONE had one...so unless I was going to be Debbie Downer I had to have one to. I didn't know the exact calories so I found the closest I could find with MFP. 440 calories! I had to walk the dog for an hour tonight just to get green. I didnt want the cupcake! I felt peer pressure from the table. UGH. Annoyed!
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Replies

  • RaeannePemberton
    RaeannePemberton Posts: 382 Member
    U went thru way too much guilt for that cupcake. Live a little. It's okay to enjoy food by choice. It's also okay to politely pass on cake etc. do u eat a cupcake or hibachi everyday... One a week.... Twice a week? Me neither.... Keep the big picture in mind. Not trying to be judgmental just want u to be okay with ur indulgence.... I know that for me if I don't let myself enjoy it.... The guilt and non joy leads to a binge etc. So I either have pride that I didn't partake. Or I enjoy every single morsel. :-) just my two cents.
  • Just_Bethy
    Just_Bethy Posts: 272
    Guilt doesn't burn calories so I don't waste time on it...!!! Enjoy the cup-cake..this isn't a diet its for LIFE and ..Cake Happens!! Its all good mama!!!
  • brookepenni
    brookepenni Posts: 787 Member
    Sorry but I dont believe you had to eat the cupcake - everyone has a choice. You were with friends - im sure they'd understand. Just my 2 cents.
  • voluptas63
    voluptas63 Posts: 602 Member
    I hate it when people hold me down and force a cupcake into my mouth. HATE IT!!

    ... Personally I would've planned my day around something I knew was coming (A birthday dinner) :) track it and mooooooove on.
  • dad106
    dad106 Posts: 4,868 Member
    It's a cupcake.. at a birthday party.. that only happens once a year.. I think you'll be all right.

    As the other poster said, not trying to be judgmental but saying that you were forced to eat a cupcake seems bit a extreme... You didn't have to have it, or you only could have had half of it. If you're friends know about you trying to eat healthier and lose weight, I'm sure they would have understood.
  • suzooz
    suzooz Posts: 720 Member
    Don't be too hard on yourself -- cake happens. You have burned off the extra calories by walking the dog -- and I'm sure you both enjoyed it!

    Next time, rather than feel guilted into something -- either enjoy every bite of it . . . or politely say "no thank you." Believe it or not, people will understand. Unless it's your mother-in-law! :laugh:
  • melizerd
    melizerd Posts: 870 Member
    You have to decide one way or another what you want more, the cupcake or the workout.

    IMO ONCE and awhile going over because you ENJOYED a cupcake is totally fine. BUT don't say anyone forced you to do it. No one held a gun to your head and shoved it in your mouth. ONLY YOU decide what you put in your body. I have plenty of times been the only one to turn down dessert because I didn't WANT it. So if you're going to beat yourself up over ONE cupcake, then don't do it next time. If you feel like "oh it's one cupcake and I haven't indulged in a long time" then have one.

    I went to a wedding this past weekend. Had a blast, and chose to drink ZERO alcohol, even though other than the pregnant women I was the only one to not have a single glass. I'd rather have a small slice of wedding cake than glasses of alcohol. Turns out on Monday morning I had gained no weight. I ate smart, danced, and had FUN, lived my life.

    No one forces me to eat anything. Only *I* choose what I put in my body, drop the excuses.
  • MiloBloom83
    MiloBloom83 Posts: 2,724 Member
    Next time tell them you will eat it later, take it home, have somone else eat it or just throw it away. Cupcakes suck! It's called Birthday CAKE for crying out loud! If i'm going over on calories, it's going to involve some kick *kitten* cake!
  • RaeannePemberton
    RaeannePemberton Posts: 382 Member
    Next time tell them you will eat it later, take it home, have somone else eat it or just throw it away. Cupcakes suck! It's called Birthday CAKE for crying out loud! If i'm going over on calories, it's going to involve some kick *kitten* cake!

    Fo sho'nn
  • dad106
    dad106 Posts: 4,868 Member
    Next time tell them you will eat it later, take it home, have somone else eat it or just throw it away. Cupcakes suck! It's called Birthday CAKE for crying out loud! If i'm going over on calories, it's going to involve some kick *kitten* cake!

    You obvi. have not hopped on the cupcake wagon. I had a S'more Cupcake from Crumbs Bakery in Chicago on Sunday that was quite amazing. Plus there is a mocha brownie/chocolate peanut butter one from a local bakery that are kick *kitten*.. and I will def. indulge if that is on the menu.

    And for gravy's sake, if you find me so amazing to friend me, put a message along with it:)
    Totally unrelated, but saw this in another posters signature and thought it was the cutest thing ever :)
  • 27strange
    27strange Posts: 837 Member
    I would have "accidentally" dropped or knocked that cupcake on the floor then stepped on it again by "accident" trying to reach for it. "Oops!", I would say, "what a bummer that cupcake looked so moist and delicious, thanks for making one for everyone."
  • bellinachuchina
    bellinachuchina Posts: 498 Member
    Next time tell them you will eat it later, take it home, have somone else eat it or just throw it away. Cupcakes suck! It's called Birthday CAKE for crying out loud! If i'm going over on calories, it's going to involve some kick *kitten* cake!

    That would've been my plan. I'm a total *Debbie Downer* when it comes to people offering me calorie ridden foods. If they are easily offended, I'll bring it home for my Husband to eat lol. But most of the time, I say "No thank you."
  • megskin15
    megskin15 Posts: 94
    ahh crap I forgot about the mini cupcakes I ate today.... I totally didn't log that..... man now I'm gonna be red... :( haha oh well
  • suzooz
    suzooz Posts: 720 Member
    Next time tell them you will eat it later, take it home, have somone else eat it or just throw it away. Cupcakes suck! It's called Birthday CAKE for crying out loud! If i'm going over on calories, it's going to involve some kick *kitten* cake!

    You obvi. have not hopped on the cupcake wagon. I had a S'more Cupcake from Crumbs Bakery in Chicago on Sunday that was quite amazing. Plus there is a mocha brownie/chocolate peanut butter one from a local bakery that are kick *kitten*.. and I will def. indulge if that is on the menu.

    And for gravy's sake, if you find me so amazing to friend me, put a message along with it:)
    Totally unrelated, but saw this in another posters signature and thought it was the cutest thing ever :)

    SMORES cupcake? Where's that bakery? I live near Chicago . . .
  • webdiva1
    webdiva1 Posts: 326 Member
    Heck -- annoyances and frustration aside, look at how you responded: you went for an hour-long walk to work off the calories. Good for you!

    Life happens. You made your friends happy AND you burned the cals. Plus, you got ideas for how to maybe handle the same sort of thing next time. At the end of the day, seems like a win-win-win to me.

    :)
  • MiladyMetal
    MiladyMetal Posts: 184 Member
    As Marie Antoinette once said, "Let them eat cake...", well my update to that quote is, Let THEM eat cake! Yes, I believe when ppl are surrounded by their peers even as we age we still have this need to follow the crowd and I think that is what happened sort of with you as well as maybe a part of you might have wanted some too. Either way, tomorrow is another day to start afresh and you exercised and don't pop cupcakes all day I hope is safe to assume then no worries! ;)
  • tweety170
    tweety170 Posts: 167
    Heck -- annoyances and frustration aside, look at how you responded: you went for an hour-long walk to work off the calories. Good for you!

    Life happens. You made your friends happy AND you burned the cals. Plus, you got ideas for how to maybe handle the same sort of thing next time. At the end of the day, seems like a win-win-win to me.

    :)

    Agreed.
  • Sweetlux
    Sweetlux Posts: 222 Member
    I know how you feel. I just piled 500 empty calories into my piehole ( it was pie) no one forced me, I just had a moment of weakness. I know what you mean though. When someone offers you something it's almost rude to decline! Especially a birthday cupcake. :) I'll be thinking of you while I run :)
  • LisaMarieee
    LisaMarieee Posts: 176 Member
    Sorry but I dont believe you had to eat the cupcake - everyone has a choice. You were with friends - im sure they'd understand. Just my 2 cents.
    This, really. Unless she shoved it down your throat, you have no reason to complain. You did not HAVE to eat it, you willingly made the choice to do so. Just get over it and move on, it's only one little cupcake and it's not going to kill you.
  • Sweetlux
    Sweetlux Posts: 222 Member
    Don't be too hard on yourself -- cake happens. You have burned off the extra calories by walking the dog -- and I'm sure you both enjoyed it!

    Next time, rather than feel guilted into something -- either enjoy every bite of it . . . or politely say "no thank you." Believe it or not, people will understand. Unless it's your mother-in-law! :laugh:
    Ha ha! Cake happens.
  • Lleldiranne
    Lleldiranne Posts: 5,516 Member
    One cupcake on a special occasion (birthday qualifies) once in a while is not going to sabotage your weight loss. Even if you were over by the whole 440 calories, that won't even equate to a lb.
    Next time, you could remove some of the frosting (there's a LOT of calories there) or eat just one bite. I bet nobody would notice. But in the mean time, stop obsessing so much over the green numbers :wink:
  • laddyboy
    laddyboy Posts: 1,565 Member
    The fact that you are feeling the guilt from eating it shows how committed you are to your fitness. A treat once in a while is actually a good thing to kick the metabolism up.
    When I'm in a situation like that I have a 2 bit rule. 2 bites and that's it.
  • CARNAT22
    CARNAT22 Posts: 764 Member
    One cup cake wont push you off the rails - it's done now - and you got back in the green so no real harm done?
  • mikeyrp
    mikeyrp Posts: 1,616 Member
    A few pieces of advice:

    1) There is always a middle way - I would have cut it in half - enjoyed the half I ate and asked if anyone else wanted the other half - if you do this before tasting it everyone will be happy.

    2) Don't beat yourself up over a one day of being a couple of hundred calories over: The way I see it, if you're under or on maintenance then no harm done - even if you are a little over then you're probably fine for the week. I bet you don't feel bad - or even notice when you are 100 calories under: they add up you know!

    3) If you know something like this is coming up, save 100 calories a day through the week leading up to it: then you have 600 guilt free calories to 'spend' at the party.
  • Persipan
    Persipan Posts: 85 Member
    I wouldn't dream of going to a birthday party and not eating cake!

    This weekend was my parents' ruby wedding anniversary, and I went away with my family to celebrate. I decided I'd have a break and not worry about what I was eating, within reason, rather than spend the weekend being all "no, I can't possibly" about everything - it's not every day your parents have been married for forty years, and I wanted to enjoy it. I spent basically a day and a half making reasonably sensible choices where the option was there, but otherwise eating things and enjoying them. (We were in Devon, so there was quite a lot of cream involved... And tempura prawns. And roast potatoes. And pastries.) I reckoned that at worst I would have put on 1-2lb, but in fact when I weighed myself I hadn't put on any weight at all and have already lost another lb since then.

    Next weekend is my friend's birthday, and I'm spending all day tomorrow making (hopefully) the most amazing cake with his wife, and I'll be eating some of that too, dammit! The world won't end, and I think this is more about making long-term sustainable changes rather than being too absolute. I'm most certainly not going to spend the rest of my life never eating anyone's birthday cake again; I just need to learn to eat a sensible-sized piece and balance it out with healthy foods.
  • Ilovedrinkingtea
    Ilovedrinkingtea Posts: 597 Member
    Yeah people don't always understand when you say that you're dieting, they'll frequently say well-meaning stuff like "oh you don't really need to lose weight, you look fine", blah blah. It's easy to lose patience with them. I always hate it when people try to insist you have something you don't want to eat. It is tricky.

    Sometimes though it's ok to relax a little, there's no point in feeling masses of guilt, just log the damage in your diary and move on.

    I feel your pain though, yesterday I ate 440 cals of junk and felt disappointed with myself, the cake I had was ok but not that amazing!!!

    xx
  • Vhovell
    Vhovell Posts: 286
    I wouldn't worry about it! It's a cake, you enjoyed it, you exercised...sorted! I agree about the taking it home and hey even if you do want it i'm sure one little cupcake won't make a huge difference...if you said you had 5 or 6, then maybe!

    I wouldn't worry and concentrate on now, which is a completely now day

    Chin up :o)
  • SeanMurphy
    SeanMurphy Posts: 62
    My opinion, a splurge day once in a while (and you seem worried about it enough that it rarely, if ever, happens) can only help to keep your cravings from becoming irresistible, and also will keep your metabolism guessing and keep it from readjusting to a lower caloric intake. I tend to take one day every two weeks and throw caution, lightly, to the wind.
  • jfinnivan
    jfinnivan Posts: 360 Member
    You didn't say if you enjoyed it. Was it good?
  • Princessa1982
    Princessa1982 Posts: 82
    I too have been in this position too many times in the past. In the past I ALWAYS ate the cupcake...

    Now i have come to a realization.
    I am overweight, obviously, that is no lie, people see it every single time they look at me. Saying I am exercising and watching what I eat is not being Debbie Downer, it is being responsible and taking care of myself. If you do not take control of yourself and lose the fear of being judged and questioned about your own personal choices, you will never succeed at weight loss and a healthy lifestyle. You are the only person you have to answer to in your life (about your own health that is). If you feel yoru friends would judge you or be let down because you would not eat a cup cake, they really are not good friends to have anyway.

    That all being said, I have made the decision to life my life as I am on this weight loss quest. I stay on track most of the time, but I will not skip a BBQ or social event anymore, because when all this weight is gone, I want to have a life then as well. I log 90% of the time, but do not log for events or bbq's, parties etc. I watch my portions at these events, but for the most part it is not a big deal. I mean, i only have 1 a week usually anyway, so it is usually my cheat day, i know when it is coming so it will keep me on track for the days leading up to it!

    You have to eat yummy foods sometimes, otherwise you WILL binge and you will not succeed. I read an article once before (i will search for it) about how eating whatever you want for a meal or two once a week or so is actually a good thing for your body, it keeps it from getting used to the calorie deficit!!!!!!

    But, the long and short of it is, the only person who forced you to eat the cupcake was you. It is something we all deal with at one point or another and you owe it to yourself to work on it so you do not feel like you have to eat it next time!
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