The diet sabatogers
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FreyasRebirth wrote: »If someone was tampering with my food behind my back or knowingly lying about what they were feeding me, I don't think I could ever eat in their presence again.
Same here. I don't want to eat something that has been secretly tampered with either!7 -
When I was single, I was living with a roommate who became disabled and depressed. She also had a narcissistic streak and our relationship became co-dependent. I didn't realize how thoroughly I was being manipulated (into giving up my life and basically becoming her unpaid caregiver, bookkeeper, benefactor, etc) at the time, but I honestly think that any time she saw me taking some sort of control over my life, she saw it as a threat. I started dieting and suddenly she'd tell me that I "just HAD to have a piece of the cake her mother sent over." If I told her I didn't want any, thanks (her mom was a great baker and I didn't trust myself to stop at a small amount), she'd give me that strawman: "You mean you're NEVER going to have cake again?" And she'd carry on about how I was going to develop a ED, that it wasn't 'normal' not to have cake once in a while, that it was going to be wasted because her meds made her lose her appetite, etc etc. And I lived with her and I usually gave in. Which made me feel guilty for 'blowing my diet' which had me eat more which... you get the picture.
I realize that she had her issues and it wasn't a healthy situation for either of us. And she's been out of my life for years. But whether she was projecting HER unhealthy ideas about food (she'd had some mental health issues and told me she was borderline anorexic), whether it was a control thing, whether she genuinely meant well... I don't know anymore. I'm just glad it's no longer an issue.5 -
JaydedMiss wrote: »yeah shes definatly something.... LOL
Seriously - this is sitcom material.2 -
I don't like attention drawn to myself, so I just say, no thank you & it doesn't bother me. I don't even talk about my weight loss but my best friend really annoys me, because every time I see her, she spends alot of time giving me advice & says "they say this is good to do" or "when I went to WW, they said to do this" I just say, oh, but after a while it irritates me so much, i tell her, who are they? & what I'm doing is working for me. I change the subject2
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Look_Its_Kriss wrote: »Jealousy does make people do some crazy things..
Although one theory is... you know how people eat some cake and instantly think that piece of cake is going to make them gain 5 pounds? lol maybe she thinks thats how butter works and its making her grumpy and jealous cause its not working.
Or maybe she actually thinks lots of butter is good for weight loss. I had a lady tell me 4 months ago that I should eat a stick of butter a day to loose weight because butter is a "good fat" and would aid in weight loss. She was serious too. I don't know where she read that but she honestly believed that a stick of butter a day would make you loose weight.
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hah just got home and now im laughing. Im glad my aunt amuses you guys, She drives me crazy every sunday xD2
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I think it isn't good to assume people's intentions. Unless they have said something directly negative like "this diet is stupid" or "you're never going to lose weight" then I think it's best to give them the benefit of the doubt. They might just offer you things because they don't want you to be left out. Or they don't want to be in the akeward position of telling you *not to eat something (you teach for a treat because you've carefully planned for it and they trying to be supportive remind you "that has a lot of sugar"). As a bystander you can be kind of screwed either way... I've learned that ultimately it is up to you. Of course a spouse/SO has to take some special consideration because you share living space, but even then it's up to you.2
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Before I started dieting, people offered me food. They were trying to communicate that they care, and I appreciated it, plus sometimes it's delicious. When I started dieting, people kept offering me food. I really doubt their intentions have changed, and the food is still sometimes delicious. Just because I decided to change something about my food habits, it doesn't mean other people would also be changing how they have always handled food around me. Assuming malicious intent is counterproductive and is often far removed from what is really happening (except in very few cases). When we are doing something that we perceive as a challenge and other people are making it even more of a challenge, it inflates that inward sense of everything being against us, but that's all it is, just an inflated sense that may have no basis in reality.
How I personally handle it? I either say no thank you, take the food and eat it, or take it and keep it for later. As for "diet advice" I smile and nod then go home and continue doing my own thing. In most cases people are doing these things with kind intentions, and on the off chance they aren't, I'm not going to give them the satisfaction of a reaction.7 -
I'm sure there are real saboteurs out there, but I haven't encountered any. The people in my life who try to push food at me are doing something entirely separate from sabotage. I should know, because I'm that person, too! I want the people I love to eat good food and be happy, and I think they deserve treats!
I don't get my feelings hurt when they say "no thanks" for whatever reason, and I don't think I have hurt anyone's feelings when I say "no thanks".4 -
I am forced to admit I have been a bit of what you might call a saboteur this weekend, inviting my parents and siblings round and feeding them lardy food (there was chocolate pudding involved. Also home made cookies).
But here's the thing: we all know the score. We're all on mfp, and we encourage each other in good choices more often than we collude in "bad" ones. They don't have to eat any of it if they don't want to, just like I don't have to eat the fried clootie dumpling and bacon when I go round their house. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. And sometimes, you just want to feed people nice things and they want to eat them, and blame doesn't really have any part in it.
But then I'm not secretly rubbing butter on their food
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Look_Its_Kriss wrote: »Pudding
I eat a pudding cup every single day.. lol
It's my soulmate.
It was sponge pudding rather than custardy pudding. But anything which bears the name "chocolate pudding" is deserving of praise in my book.0 -
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Look_Its_Kriss wrote: »I love all pudding... cept blood pudding.
Bread pudding is my favorite in sponge type form, i mash banana into it sometimes too and make banana bread pudding
Blood pudding? As in black pudding? Mmmmmmmmm! I can't eat as much as I once could. Me and suet have a tragic, bittersweet relationship, similar to Heathcliff and Cathy. But every now and then, with a bit of bacon - awww yeah.2 -
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Diets FAIL. Sorry, but you can't be sabotaged since people don't force food in your mouth. And sweets and calorie dense foods can have a place in any weight loss program because really it's still about CICO.Maybe not for everyone, but many have a friend or loved or even a coworker who constantly tries to purposely tank your diet/life style change by offering sweets when they know you are watching what you eat, or making something really fattening and telling you its not that fattening or making excuses for you to eat unhealthy or leaving out unhealthy things or make negative comments about why its unhealthy to diet or offer dieting advise that is bound to fail.....how do you handle the diet sabatogers in your life?
The failure rate for just about any DIET program is 90%. And that's usually because it's not a diet that someone can adhere to for LIFE. So honestly, if you cannot do whatever DIET you are on for life, then it's one you shouldn't be doing. That's why calorie counting is one of the best ways to lose weight because it doesn't limit WHAT you can eat. Just HOW MUCH you should eat.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
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Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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Look_Its_Kriss wrote: »I had to google black pudding since ive not heard it called that.. but yes lol
Mind you i have never actually TRIED it.. so my dislike is simply observational at this point..
The ingredients are kind of why i am just assuming i don't.. lol
It's just offal. I know some people don't eat offal at all, under any circumstances, but if you're not one of those, if you would eat chicken livers, for example, why not black pudding? I mean, even a pork chop - it's all bits of dead animal at the end of the day, isn't it?
You need a good one, a poorly spiced, underseasoned, dry black pudding is like eating earth. But when it's good, it's great. Stornoway black pudding is the ultimate.0 -
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Look_Its_Kriss wrote: »Well.. my thing about livers vrs pork chops is... one wasn't filtering things out of the animals body for a while lol
But no, not a liver eater, in fact when it used to be on the menu at the nursing home i worked at, i kept the lid on the pan, the smell alone was absolutely atrocious
I don't actually like liver myself, to be honest. I used it as an example because so many people will eat eg chicken liver pate but then get all blerk about other offal dishes without trying them, which puzzles me.
The only context I eat liver in is haggis, which tastes of onion and oatmeal and spices, you can't really taste the offal (I know because I've made it with mushrooms subbed for the offal and it tasted exactly the same, my vegetarian brother was convinced I was pulling his leg).0 -
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I have this happen very often. It as if they are constantly trying to entice you to give in to unhealthy food. I simply tell them truth, I have a goal I am trying to reach and that my health is very important to me. I appreciate and thank you for thinking about me though. I have learned once you let them know two or three times and don't back away from it, they tend to stop for a while.0
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@Look_Its_Kriss you are quickly becoming on of my favourites here, just saying.
But @jaydedmiss, you've been a favourite for a while now, and I want you to start a thread titled "What did my Aunt do to my food this week". I will seriously pay to read this.
If I ever re-think my not having friends here, you two are at the top of the list.
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Tacklewasher wrote: »@Look_Its_Kriss you are quickly becoming on of my favourites here, just saying.
But @jaydedmiss, you've been a favourite for a while now, and I want you to start a thread titled "What did my Aunt do to my food this week". I will seriously pay to read this.
If I ever re-think my not having friends here, you two are at the top of the list.
Just smiled so hard LOL. you to. Ill definatly start writing down the things she says, I see her every sunday i can come back and tell y'all weekly ;D Shes never at a loss for bad opinions and stupidity. 4 -
JaydedMiss wrote: »Tacklewasher wrote: »@Look_Its_Kriss you are quickly becoming on of my favourites here, just saying.
But @jaydedmiss, you've been a favourite for a while now, and I want you to start a thread titled "What did my Aunt do to my food this week". I will seriously pay to read this.
If I ever re-think my not having friends here, you two are at the top of the list.
Just smiled so hard LOL. you to. Ill definatly start writing down the things she says, I see her every sunday i can come back and tell y'all weekly ;D Shes never at a loss for bad opinions and stupidity.
Told you once. Old enough to be your father so stop flirting with me LOL
(Yeah, I know you aren't but give the 51 yr old gray haired dude his fantasy)
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Yeah, I worked out a fair bit today and am on my 3rd glass of wine (*kitten* I had the calorie room) so feel free to ignore me. 0
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i wormed my way into being kriss's only friend. im a loner ;D1
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