Open relationships

Too complicated for me.

I considered it briefly near the end of a previous relationship. I've always found human sexuality fascinating, so was reading up on polyamory (not quite "open"). I concluded that it wasn't for me, being an introvert, demisexual, and generally anxious. I'm currently in a monogamous marriage with a man of similar personality/preference. However, I could see how it could work for other personality types. I don't see anything wrong with it as long as all parties are aware and consent.

When I am in a relationship with someone, the thrill of it for me is giving my whole heart and sexuality to that one person. I would rather direct all of that love, emotion, and lust towards one person, more passionately, than to dilute those affections over a larger group of people. I believe when you love someone, and then give yourself to that one person sexually, it is like a gift of self...only certain people are worthy of that focused intensity, and if you are giving your all to that person -- you should be too spent to need to be looking for that exchange with other people. I have a lot of love in my heart and body as well...I just choose to focus it like a laser instead of a light show. If that makes sense, lol. That being said, I desire the same loyalty in return. I don't want diluted affections, I want to be wanted with every fiber of that person's being. It doesn't have to be intense all day, every day, obviously...I'm talking about during romantic or sexual encounters.

However, that just means it would never work for me. I don't judge what other people want to do in their personal lives, as long as everyone is on the same page. If both parties are fully aware and have thoroughly communicated any boundaries or expectations, and those are honored so that no one gets hurt...then, you do you! I think it is a complicated journey and even naturally polyamorous people can fall prey to feelings of betrayal or jealousy, if the framework of the agreement isn't deeply considered and respected. I hope that anyone who wishes to enter into an open relationship has or finds a partner with the same mindset and desires to help fulfill a stable foundation before inviting others in. After that has been established, then I suppose it is golden from there and the best of luck to you!

Whatever floats your boat, man. I personally couldn't do it. I could be in a closed triad (polyamorous) relationship, but an open one where my partners could sleep with and/or date whoever they wanted? Nope. Not for me.

But again, different strokes for different folks. Monogamy isn't for everyone. Actually, when you consider the sheer number of people who cheat on their partners, it's probably not for lots of people.

JackKopCh wrote: »

I just don't get it.... it's like the fun of being single mixed with a lot of the shackles of being in a relationship.... they just don't go together.

Right?

Well said.

Sorta like the worst of both worlds.

2011rocket3touring wrote: »

As I'm exploring celibacy while married, this doesn't sound bad...

Yeah, you need to nip that in the bud.

No suggestions other than a heart to heart talk.

I wish you well

Lol.. my opinion is "hoe".. But it's a great way to spread communal diseases!

To be clear though, being not-monogamous doesn't mean you're fecking 6 people a week. There is healthy place between "banging one person for the rest of your life" and "handing out the goods like the town slut"

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