Weight loss for 19 year old girl

fitnessfreak2537
fitnessfreak2537 Posts: 9 Member
edited November 16 in Health and Weight Loss
Hello everyone,

I am 19 years old. I am 5'7" and 140 pounds. I eat about 750-1100 calories a day and 30 grams of fat. However, I keep gaining weight instead of losing weight. I am on a swim team and practice for 2.5 hours a day and I run constantly. Why am I not losing weight. I have been battling this for three years.
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Replies

  • fitnessfreak2537
    fitnessfreak2537 Posts: 9 Member
    I track it on this app. I have my daily calorie limit set at 850 and it ranges between 750-1100. I track every single calorie, I obsess over it, it consumes my mind, so I know it is accurate. But I am just so ugly and so fat and I hate myself because I used to be so much thinner- weighing approximately 121 lbs and now I can't seem to get back down to that. I feel suffocated and trapped and I don't know what to do. I hate myself. I hate how fat I am and what I look like. I try to limit my eating but I can't and then I beat myself up relentlessly for failing .
  • mitch16
    mitch16 Posts: 2,113 Member
    You really need to talk to someone about this--whether it's your parents, your coach, or your doctor... You are legally an adult, but you need to take the first step in getting this sorted out before it becomes dangerous.
  • malibu927
    malibu927 Posts: 17,562 Member
    There are so many things in your post and reply that worry me, OP. Please speak with a professional.
  • fitnessfreak2537
    fitnessfreak2537 Posts: 9 Member
    usmcmp wrote: »
    You need to talk to a doctor about how you see yourself. Eating 850 calories and having 2 hours of swim practice per day is destructive. At 19 years old you are in the process of destroying your body and that will have long term consequences. Please go seek help.
    https://myfitnesspal.desk.com/customer/portal/articles/1575987-eating-disorder-resources
    misskarne wrote: »
    OP, please book an appointment with a health professional IMMEDIATELY. You need to get help with your incredibly disordered thinking.
    I track it on this app. I have my daily calorie limit set at 850 and it ranges between 750-1100. I track every single calorie, I obsess over it, it consumes my mind, so I know it is accurate. But I am just so ugly and so fat and I hate myself because I used to be so much thinner- weighing approximately 121 lbs and now I can't seem to get back down to that. I feel suffocated and trapped and I don't know what to do. I hate myself. I hate how fat I am and what I look like. I try to limit my eating but I can't and then I beat myself up relentlessly for failing .

    All of this is deeply troubling. 140 lbs is right in the middle of a healthy weight range for someone who's 5'7". Your very low calorie diet is both unhealthy and it's not providing you with nearly enough calories to fuel your swimming workouts, which is also very unhealthy. Equally concerning are the thoughts you have about yourself and your weight.

    You're on a path that is both physically and mentally/psychologically destructive. Please speak to your doctor or a qualified therapist as soon as possible.
    mitch16 wrote: »
    You really need to talk to someone about this--whether it's your parents, your coach, or your doctor... You are legally an adult, but you need to take the first step in getting this sorted out before it becomes dangerous.
    It pains me to hear people speak so negatively about themselves.
    We have so many people in our lives who try to tear us down... But the only person who shouldn't be tearing you down is you. Self Love is a hard thing to learn OP and if i could see my 19 year old self the things i would tell her now as a 31 year old.. You are Young, and undoubtedly beautiful inside and out and smart and a person with qualities like that should definitely take charge of herself and learn to acknowledge and appreciate these things early on even if it means finding someone to talk to and teach you how to see these things.
    malibu927 wrote: »
    There are so many things in your post and reply that worry me, OP. Please speak with a professional.


    ^^^ thank you for the concern everyone. I am ashamed to get help and I don't want to become even fatter than I already am by going to therapy and being forced to eat more. I have to lose at least 25 pounds.

  • JZygmunt72
    JZygmunt72 Posts: 262 Member
    edited March 2017
    OP it gets better. I took the same path as you when I in grade 11. I lost weight unhealthily similar to you, and i gained it back within 3 months . and then some. Ive been losing weight now moe slowly, and its more exciting that way. I really do hope you can seek help, and even tell a friend, maybe start with going with a friend to the doctor to make it less scary. I know its hard but you can do it. im not saying I dont have ups and downs still, I do very much but i recommend that you go get help
  • mitch16
    mitch16 Posts: 2,113 Member
    edited March 2017
    5'7" and 115 is a BMI of 18.0. That's not healthy for most people, let alone an athlete. Take a look at the women who competed in swimming events in the last Olympiad--none of them had a BMI that low.

    Get help.
  • malibu927
    malibu927 Posts: 17,562 Member
    edited March 2017
    Losing 25 pounds would put you into the underweight category and you're already at a healthy weight. Getting professional help is nothing to be ashamed of.

    Rather than lose weight, what about doing a body recomposition to focus on losing fat and gaining muscle? You eat at maintenance and start a progressive lifting program such as Stronglifts 5x5.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    I track it on this app. I have my daily calorie limit set at 850 and it ranges between 750-1100. I track every single calorie, I obsess over it, it consumes my mind, so I know it is accurate. But I am just so ugly and so fat and I hate myself because I used to be so much thinner- weighing approximately 121 lbs and now I can't seem to get back down to that. I feel suffocated and trapped and I don't know what to do. I hate myself. I hate how fat I am and what I look like. I try to limit my eating but I can't and then I beat myself up relentlessly for failing .

    You need to speak to your parents or doctor about having disordered eating.
  • nickiphillips1
    nickiphillips1 Posts: 114 Member
    As a swimmer, I remember when I was in high school, I wouldn't eat lunch so I could be skinnier at swim practice. Swim workouts are tough. Most doctor's offices have dietitians that can help you get the right balance of what to eat to help you swim better. This will help you get the right balance of proteins and carbohydrates for your muscles. Then you will learn what foods turn to sugar and fat in your body. There are certain foods that can help your nails get stronger and your hair as well. I would try to find a doctor and ask about a dietitian. Not all foods are equal and this way you can make the best of your calories.

    When you don't eat enough calories or the right calories, your body will store its own fat and go into protection mode. You cannot lose weight this way. This isn't what you want either. Take a step in the right direction. It will help your swimming and your weight.
  • kenyonhaff
    kenyonhaff Posts: 1,377 Member
    As a former competitive swimmer....I trained with a team that produced an Olympian in my team...you can't be competitive on that few calories.
  • nickiphillips1
    nickiphillips1 Posts: 114 Member
    @Look_Its_Kriss
    I was trying a different approach to try to get through to this girl. She isn't responding to anything anyone is saying.
  • This content has been removed.
  • fitnessfreak2537
    fitnessfreak2537 Posts: 9 Member
    Erinswim92 wrote: »
    I am a swimmer and a coach, please do not think of yourself as fat. Number 1 reason: you are at a normal weight for your height. Number 2 reason: Much of your weight, especially if you are practicing and running comes from your muscle mass, and trust me as a swimmer this is NOT something you want to lose. If you are swimming and running you should be eating more calories than you are to maintain a healthy weight that will help you with your swimming and other activities. If you were to look at swimmers who are healthy and fast, their caloric intake for the day exceeds those of other sports activities. I would encourage you to talk to a therapist, they are professionals that can help you.
    @nickiphillips1 I understand that.. thats why i said not to negate anything positive you were trying to do..
    However there are a lot of people who lurk boards and it's very important at the end of the day that not only you.. the OP but everyone else participating in these discussions gets real, valid information, scare tactics with misinformation can often push a person further into the hole they are in.. if shes already been starving herself in attempts to lose weight she might also believe that its too late now and she really messed up. When in reality she hasn't yet, she has TONS of opportunity here to take hold and change her views on herself to see the beautiful person she is.

    The reason why it's important to correct for the lurkers is because people pick and choose which information they take in and which they don't.. if there is nothing correcting information given, most peoples deduction is that the information must then be valid, they accept it as valid and then go on to share this information with others..
    @Look_Its_Kriss
    I was trying a different approach to try to get through to this girl. She isn't responding to anything anyone is saying.
    kenyonhaff wrote: »
    As a former competitive swimmer....I trained with a team that produced an Olympian in my team...you can't be competitive on that few calories.
    As a swimmer, I remember when I was in high school, I wouldn't eat lunch so I could be skinnier at swim practice. Swim workouts are tough. Most doctor's offices have dietitians that can help you get the right balance of what to eat to help you swim better. This will help you get the right balance of proteins and carbohydrates for your muscles. Then you will learn what foods turn to sugar and fat in your body. There are certain foods that can help your nails get stronger and your hair as well. I would try to find a doctor and ask about a dietitian. Not all foods are equal and this way you can make the best of your calories.

    When you don't eat enough calories or the right calories, your body will store its own fat and go into protection mode. You cannot lose weight this way. This isn't what you want either. Take a step in the right direction. It will help your swimming and your weight.

    @nickiphillips1
    Please do not take this as me trying to negate the positive effect you are trying to have on the OP but some of your information is misinformed and i feel like not only the OP could benefit from this correction but also yourself as well.

    There are no certain foods that get specifically turned into fat, fat is made when you eat more calories then you burn and the body then turns it to fat to be stored for later use, we gain weight because we keep eating in a calorie surplus, thus never getting to the point of using that stored energy.

    Also there is no such thing as starvation mode or protection mode, the body does not store fat this way, if this was the case there would be no anorexics, eating less does not cause the body to store fat, Weight loss will happen with less calories. too few calories often means nutrient deficiencies and it can also mean lean muscle loss resulting in a lower BMR, having a lower then normal BMR can cause weight gain if you ate a normal amount of calories as someone else at the same age, weight and height. But this is not starvation mode either, this is just simply the result of not giving your body what it needs and your body using itself to get it. This does not happen based on a few times of eating too little, this is from a prolonged period of time of under eating.
    As a swimmer, I remember when I was in high school, I wouldn't eat lunch so I could be skinnier at swim practice. Swim workouts are tough. Most doctor's offices have dietitians that can help you get the right balance of what to eat to help you swim better. This will help you get the right balance of proteins and carbohydrates for your muscles. Then you will learn what foods turn to sugar and fat in your body. There are certain foods that can help your nails get stronger and your hair as well. I would try to find a doctor and ask about a dietitian. Not all foods are equal and this way you can make the best of your calories.

    When you don't eat enough calories or the right calories, your body will store its own fat and go into protection mode. You cannot lose weight this way. This isn't what you want either. Take a step in the right direction. It will help your swimming and your weight.
    usmcmp wrote: »
    You need to talk to a doctor about how you see yourself. Eating 850 calories and having 2 hours of swim practice per day is destructive. At 19 years old you are in the process of destroying your body and that will have long term consequences. Please go seek help.
    https://myfitnesspal.desk.com/customer/portal/articles/1575987-eating-disorder-resources
    misskarne wrote: »
    OP, please book an appointment with a health professional IMMEDIATELY. You need to get help with your incredibly disordered thinking.
    I track it on this app. I have my daily calorie limit set at 850 and it ranges between 750-1100. I track every single calorie, I obsess over it, it consumes my mind, so I know it is accurate. But I am just so ugly and so fat and I hate myself because I used to be so much thinner- weighing approximately 121 lbs and now I can't seem to get back down to that. I feel suffocated and trapped and I don't know what to do. I hate myself. I hate how fat I am and what I look like. I try to limit my eating but I can't and then I beat myself up relentlessly for failing .

    All of this is deeply troubling. 140 lbs is right in the middle of a healthy weight range for someone who's 5'7". Your very low calorie diet is both unhealthy and it's not providing you with nearly enough calories to fuel your swimming workouts, which is also very unhealthy. Equally concerning are the thoughts you have about yourself and your weight.

    You're on a path that is both physically and mentally/psychologically destructive. Please speak to your doctor or a qualified therapist as soon as possible.
    mitch16 wrote: »
    You really need to talk to someone about this--whether it's your parents, your coach, or your doctor... You are legally an adult, but you need to take the first step in getting this sorted out before it becomes dangerous.
    It pains me to hear people speak so negatively about themselves.
    We have so many people in our lives who try to tear us down... But the only person who shouldn't be tearing you down is you. Self Love is a hard thing to learn OP and if i could see my 19 year old self the things i would tell her now as a 31 year old.. You are Young, and undoubtedly beautiful inside and out and smart and a person with qualities like that should definitely take charge of herself and learn to acknowledge and appreciate these things early on even if it means finding someone to talk to and teach you how to see these things.
    malibu927 wrote: »
    There are so many things in your post and reply that worry me, OP. Please speak with a professional.


    ^^^ thank you for the concern everyone. I am ashamed to get help and I don't want to become even fatter than I already am by going to therapy and being forced to eat more. I have to lose at least 25 pounds.

    No, you need to get better, not lose more weight

    Thank you for all your responses. I have been so busy I haven't been able to respond. I hope you can all understand that I cannot just change how I view myself in one night and I can't go to therapy, I don't have time or the money to pay, and I am not going to ask my parents for the money or tell them I need therapy. I will be fine. I just need to continue to work out and lose all the weight. Thank you for the concerns though.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    Erinswim92 wrote: »
    I am a swimmer and a coach, please do not think of yourself as fat. Number 1 reason: you are at a normal weight for your height. Number 2 reason: Much of your weight, especially if you are practicing and running comes from your muscle mass, and trust me as a swimmer this is NOT something you want to lose. If you are swimming and running you should be eating more calories than you are to maintain a healthy weight that will help you with your swimming and other activities. If you were to look at swimmers who are healthy and fast, their caloric intake for the day exceeds those of other sports activities. I would encourage you to talk to a therapist, they are professionals that can help you.
    @nickiphillips1 I understand that.. thats why i said not to negate anything positive you were trying to do..
    However there are a lot of people who lurk boards and it's very important at the end of the day that not only you.. the OP but everyone else participating in these discussions gets real, valid information, scare tactics with misinformation can often push a person further into the hole they are in.. if shes already been starving herself in attempts to lose weight she might also believe that its too late now and she really messed up. When in reality she hasn't yet, she has TONS of opportunity here to take hold and change her views on herself to see the beautiful person she is.

    The reason why it's important to correct for the lurkers is because people pick and choose which information they take in and which they don't.. if there is nothing correcting information given, most peoples deduction is that the information must then be valid, they accept it as valid and then go on to share this information with others..
    @Look_Its_Kriss
    I was trying a different approach to try to get through to this girl. She isn't responding to anything anyone is saying.
    kenyonhaff wrote: »
    As a former competitive swimmer....I trained with a team that produced an Olympian in my team...you can't be competitive on that few calories.
    As a swimmer, I remember when I was in high school, I wouldn't eat lunch so I could be skinnier at swim practice. Swim workouts are tough. Most doctor's offices have dietitians that can help you get the right balance of what to eat to help you swim better. This will help you get the right balance of proteins and carbohydrates for your muscles. Then you will learn what foods turn to sugar and fat in your body. There are certain foods that can help your nails get stronger and your hair as well. I would try to find a doctor and ask about a dietitian. Not all foods are equal and this way you can make the best of your calories.

    When you don't eat enough calories or the right calories, your body will store its own fat and go into protection mode. You cannot lose weight this way. This isn't what you want either. Take a step in the right direction. It will help your swimming and your weight.

    @nickiphillips1
    Please do not take this as me trying to negate the positive effect you are trying to have on the OP but some of your information is misinformed and i feel like not only the OP could benefit from this correction but also yourself as well.

    There are no certain foods that get specifically turned into fat, fat is made when you eat more calories then you burn and the body then turns it to fat to be stored for later use, we gain weight because we keep eating in a calorie surplus, thus never getting to the point of using that stored energy.

    Also there is no such thing as starvation mode or protection mode, the body does not store fat this way, if this was the case there would be no anorexics, eating less does not cause the body to store fat, Weight loss will happen with less calories. too few calories often means nutrient deficiencies and it can also mean lean muscle loss resulting in a lower BMR, having a lower then normal BMR can cause weight gain if you ate a normal amount of calories as someone else at the same age, weight and height. But this is not starvation mode either, this is just simply the result of not giving your body what it needs and your body using itself to get it. This does not happen based on a few times of eating too little, this is from a prolonged period of time of under eating.
    As a swimmer, I remember when I was in high school, I wouldn't eat lunch so I could be skinnier at swim practice. Swim workouts are tough. Most doctor's offices have dietitians that can help you get the right balance of what to eat to help you swim better. This will help you get the right balance of proteins and carbohydrates for your muscles. Then you will learn what foods turn to sugar and fat in your body. There are certain foods that can help your nails get stronger and your hair as well. I would try to find a doctor and ask about a dietitian. Not all foods are equal and this way you can make the best of your calories.

    When you don't eat enough calories or the right calories, your body will store its own fat and go into protection mode. You cannot lose weight this way. This isn't what you want either. Take a step in the right direction. It will help your swimming and your weight.
    usmcmp wrote: »
    You need to talk to a doctor about how you see yourself. Eating 850 calories and having 2 hours of swim practice per day is destructive. At 19 years old you are in the process of destroying your body and that will have long term consequences. Please go seek help.
    https://myfitnesspal.desk.com/customer/portal/articles/1575987-eating-disorder-resources
    misskarne wrote: »
    OP, please book an appointment with a health professional IMMEDIATELY. You need to get help with your incredibly disordered thinking.
    I track it on this app. I have my daily calorie limit set at 850 and it ranges between 750-1100. I track every single calorie, I obsess over it, it consumes my mind, so I know it is accurate. But I am just so ugly and so fat and I hate myself because I used to be so much thinner- weighing approximately 121 lbs and now I can't seem to get back down to that. I feel suffocated and trapped and I don't know what to do. I hate myself. I hate how fat I am and what I look like. I try to limit my eating but I can't and then I beat myself up relentlessly for failing .

    All of this is deeply troubling. 140 lbs is right in the middle of a healthy weight range for someone who's 5'7". Your very low calorie diet is both unhealthy and it's not providing you with nearly enough calories to fuel your swimming workouts, which is also very unhealthy. Equally concerning are the thoughts you have about yourself and your weight.

    You're on a path that is both physically and mentally/psychologically destructive. Please speak to your doctor or a qualified therapist as soon as possible.
    mitch16 wrote: »
    You really need to talk to someone about this--whether it's your parents, your coach, or your doctor... You are legally an adult, but you need to take the first step in getting this sorted out before it becomes dangerous.
    It pains me to hear people speak so negatively about themselves.
    We have so many people in our lives who try to tear us down... But the only person who shouldn't be tearing you down is you. Self Love is a hard thing to learn OP and if i could see my 19 year old self the things i would tell her now as a 31 year old.. You are Young, and undoubtedly beautiful inside and out and smart and a person with qualities like that should definitely take charge of herself and learn to acknowledge and appreciate these things early on even if it means finding someone to talk to and teach you how to see these things.
    malibu927 wrote: »
    There are so many things in your post and reply that worry me, OP. Please speak with a professional.


    ^^^ thank you for the concern everyone. I am ashamed to get help and I don't want to become even fatter than I already am by going to therapy and being forced to eat more. I have to lose at least 25 pounds.

    No, you need to get better, not lose more weight

    Thank you for all your responses. I have been so busy I haven't been able to respond. I hope you can all understand that I cannot just change how I view myself in one night and I can't go to therapy, I don't have time or the money to pay, and I am not going to ask my parents for the money or tell them I need therapy. I will be fine. I just need to continue to work out and lose all the weight. Thank you for the concerns though.

    Hopefully you'll learn to have time for your health soon.

    Losing weight won't help.
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
    As your performance drops eventually your coach will notice. It is your choice whether you pick the help you get or it gets forced on you.

    You can either get help with your thinking while you are still at a healthy weight or spend years or never repairing the damage. (Heart, gall bladder, digestion, teeth, muscle tone, hair).

    Are you going to college or anything? There should be free counselling there.
  • wellthenwhat
    wellthenwhat Posts: 526 Member

    Thank you for all your responses. I have been so busy I haven't been able to respond. I hope you can all understand that I cannot just change how I view myself in one night and I can't go to therapy, I don't have time or the money to pay, and I am not going to ask my parents for the money or tell them I need therapy. I will be fine. I just need to continue to work out and lose all the weight. Thank you for the concerns though.

    Will you have the time or money to be admitted into the hospital for eating disorders? I also struggle with eating disorders. I am 20 years old, 5' 4.5" and 133 pounds. I just gained 3 pounds because I've started working out more. The lowest ideal body weight for your height is 135. That weight is for someone with very little muscle mass. As an athlete, you need that muscle mass! I would guarantee you that if you posted a picture of yourself, we would all say you are already plenty slim. But I get the body hate. I also struggle with it. I've gained 10 pounds in the last year because of a job change, and seeing my body get softer, less flexible, and more heavy was devastating. Im even heavier now, but I'm looking better because of my muscle mass.
  • Erswim10
    Erswim10 Posts: 134 Member
    Erinswim92 wrote: »
    I am a swimmer and a coach, please do not think of yourself as fat. Number 1 reason: you are at a normal weight for your height. Number 2 reason: Much of your weight, especially if you are practicing and running comes from your muscle mass, and trust me as a swimmer this is NOT something you want to lose. If you are swimming and running you should be eating more calories than you are to maintain a healthy weight that will help you with your swimming and other activities. If you were to look at swimmers who are healthy and fast, their caloric intake for the day exceeds those of other sports activities. I would encourage you to talk to a therapist, they are professionals that can help you.
    @nickiphillips1 I understand that.. thats why i said not to negate anything positive you were trying to do..
    However there are a lot of people who lurk boards and it's very important at the end of the day that not only you.. the OP but everyone else participating in these discussions gets real, valid information, scare tactics with misinformation can often push a person further into the hole they are in.. if shes already been starving herself in attempts to lose weight she might also believe that its too late now and she really messed up. When in reality she hasn't yet, she has TONS of opportunity here to take hold and change her views on herself to see the beautiful person she is.

    The reason why it's important to correct for the lurkers is because people pick and choose which information they take in and which they don't.. if there is nothing correcting information given, most peoples deduction is that the information must then be valid, they accept it as valid and then go on to share this information with others..
    @Look_Its_Kriss
    I was trying a different approach to try to get through to this girl. She isn't responding to anything anyone is saying.
    kenyonhaff wrote: »
    As a former competitive swimmer....I trained with a team that produced an Olympian in my team...you can't be competitive on that few calories.
    As a swimmer, I remember when I was in high school, I wouldn't eat lunch so I could be skinnier at swim practice. Swim workouts are tough. Most doctor's offices have dietitians that can help you get the right balance of what to eat to help you swim better. This will help you get the right balance of proteins and carbohydrates for your muscles. Then you will learn what foods turn to sugar and fat in your body. There are certain foods that can help your nails get stronger and your hair as well. I would try to find a doctor and ask about a dietitian. Not all foods are equal and this way you can make the best of your calories.

    When you don't eat enough calories or the right calories, your body will store its own fat and go into protection mode. You cannot lose weight this way. This isn't what you want either. Take a step in the right direction. It will help your swimming and your weight.

    @nickiphillips1
    Please do not take this as me trying to negate the positive effect you are trying to have on the OP but some of your information is misinformed and i feel like not only the OP could benefit from this correction but also yourself as well.

    There are no certain foods that get specifically turned into fat, fat is made when you eat more calories then you burn and the body then turns it to fat to be stored for later use, we gain weight because we keep eating in a calorie surplus, thus never getting to the point of using that stored energy.

    Also there is no such thing as starvation mode or protection mode, the body does not store fat this way, if this was the case there would be no anorexics, eating less does not cause the body to store fat, Weight loss will happen with less calories. too few calories often means nutrient deficiencies and it can also mean lean muscle loss resulting in a lower BMR, having a lower then normal BMR can cause weight gain if you ate a normal amount of calories as someone else at the same age, weight and height. But this is not starvation mode either, this is just simply the result of not giving your body what it needs and your body using itself to get it. This does not happen based on a few times of eating too little, this is from a prolonged period of time of under eating.
    As a swimmer, I remember when I was in high school, I wouldn't eat lunch so I could be skinnier at swim practice. Swim workouts are tough. Most doctor's offices have dietitians that can help you get the right balance of what to eat to help you swim better. This will help you get the right balance of proteins and carbohydrates for your muscles. Then you will learn what foods turn to sugar and fat in your body. There are certain foods that can help your nails get stronger and your hair as well. I would try to find a doctor and ask about a dietitian. Not all foods are equal and this way you can make the best of your calories.

    When you don't eat enough calories or the right calories, your body will store its own fat and go into protection mode. You cannot lose weight this way. This isn't what you want either. Take a step in the right direction. It will help your swimming and your weight.
    usmcmp wrote: »
    You need to talk to a doctor about how you see yourself. Eating 850 calories and having 2 hours of swim practice per day is destructive. At 19 years old you are in the process of destroying your body and that will have long term consequences. Please go seek help.
    https://myfitnesspal.desk.com/customer/portal/articles/1575987-eating-disorder-resources
    misskarne wrote: »
    OP, please book an appointment with a health professional IMMEDIATELY. You need to get help with your incredibly disordered thinking.
    I track it on this app. I have my daily calorie limit set at 850 and it ranges between 750-1100. I track every single calorie, I obsess over it, it consumes my mind, so I know it is accurate. But I am just so ugly and so fat and I hate myself because I used to be so much thinner- weighing approximately 121 lbs and now I can't seem to get back down to that. I feel suffocated and trapped and I don't know what to do. I hate myself. I hate how fat I am and what I look like. I try to limit my eating but I can't and then I beat myself up relentlessly for failing .

    All of this is deeply troubling. 140 lbs is right in the middle of a healthy weight range for someone who's 5'7". Your very low calorie diet is both unhealthy and it's not providing you with nearly enough calories to fuel your swimming workouts, which is also very unhealthy. Equally concerning are the thoughts you have about yourself and your weight.

    You're on a path that is both physically and mentally/psychologically destructive. Please speak to your doctor or a qualified therapist as soon as possible.
    mitch16 wrote: »
    You really need to talk to someone about this--whether it's your parents, your coach, or your doctor... You are legally an adult, but you need to take the first step in getting this sorted out before it becomes dangerous.
    It pains me to hear people speak so negatively about themselves.
    We have so many people in our lives who try to tear us down... But the only person who shouldn't be tearing you down is you. Self Love is a hard thing to learn OP and if i could see my 19 year old self the things i would tell her now as a 31 year old.. You are Young, and undoubtedly beautiful inside and out and smart and a person with qualities like that should definitely take charge of herself and learn to acknowledge and appreciate these things early on even if it means finding someone to talk to and teach you how to see these things.
    malibu927 wrote: »
    There are so many things in your post and reply that worry me, OP. Please speak with a professional.


    ^^^ thank you for the concern everyone. I am ashamed to get help and I don't want to become even fatter than I already am by going to therapy and being forced to eat more. I have to lose at least 25 pounds.

    No, you need to get better, not lose more weight

    Thank you for all your responses. I have been so busy I haven't been able to respond. I hope you can all understand that I cannot just change how I view myself in one night and I can't go to therapy, I don't have time or the money to pay, and I am not going to ask my parents for the money or tell them I need therapy. I will be fine. I just need to continue to work out and lose all the weight. Thank you for the concerns though.

    Please know that we are all trying to help you, and we understand your mindset will not change immediately, we are just worried for you.
  • fitnessfreak2537
    fitnessfreak2537 Posts: 9 Member
    jgnatca wrote: »
    As your performance drops eventually your coach will notice. It is your choice whether you pick the help you get or it gets forced on you.

    You can either get help with your thinking while you are still at a healthy weight or spend years or never repairing the damage. (Heart, gall bladder, digestion, teeth, muscle tone, hair).

    Are you going to college or anything? There should be free counselling there.

    I am currently attending Columbia, majoring in biology and following a pred-med course.
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