Self hate after cheat meal
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perkymommy wrote: »Don't look at it as a cheat meal and just look at it as any other meal but don't do it often if you feel bad afterwards. This is a lifestyle choice so eat realistically. It's okay to eat what you want like that.
I agree. I used to call Friday my cheat day, but no longer do this as the thinking promotes a negative view about my food. I've taken.a bit of a longer view and consider my change in nutrition a life choice about what and how much I eat. When I choose to eat something that is rich in fats or sugar (ex. Molten lava cake or a nice single malt scotch) I savor it to the max, log it in and move on.0 -
1: Don't have cheat days/meals, if they bother you.
2: Tell your trainer straight-up, "this doesn't work for me. I'm not going to do it." If he's good, he'll work around it. If not, then get a new trainer - one that will listen to you and work with your particulars.3 -
While I agree the whole idea of a cheat meal or cheat day is bad because it links emotions to food, I disagree with the idea that there is no such thing as good or bad food. Some food, i.e. Fast food( McDonalds, KFC, Chipotle, Panda Express), is clearly bad and should only be eaten if the only food on the planet and you'd starve to death without it. I tend to categorise these foods as "food like substances" or "not food" in my mind. If it's not food, then it follows there is no point eating it whatsoever as it's harmful to my health...to me it would be equivalent to drinking a bottle of draino..poisoning myself. I don't even crave these bad foods, zero temptation to "cheat." I don't have a cheat meal or cheat day...I just eat healthy. At times I will treat myself...as in a big multi course dinner with a dessert....but it's not cheating so much as planning how I want to spend my daily calories.
You are going to find a lot of people on here who disagree with you. While I agree that McD's is disgusting, that's my personal opinion. And places like Chipotle and Panda Express use fresh, mostly "whole" ingredients. So much so, that at Panda you can see the beautiful containers of fresh veggies they have prepped along with containers of fresh meat. Don't demonize all food that can be prepared quickly and encourage others to do so as well. If you don't want to eat at those places, fine, that is absolutely your call, but don't tell others that food from those places is akin to poison and should only be eaten if there are no other options. Sheesh.7 -
nightengale7 wrote: »While I agree the whole idea of a cheat meal or cheat day is bad because it links emotions to food, I disagree with the idea that there is no such thing as good or bad food. Some food, i.e. Fast food( McDonalds, KFC, Chipotle, Panda Express), is clearly bad and should only be eaten if the only food on the planet and you'd starve to death without it. I tend to categorise these foods as "food like substances" or "not food" in my mind. If it's not food, then it follows there is no point eating it whatsoever as it's harmful to my health...to me it would be equivalent to drinking a bottle of draino..poisoning myself. I don't even crave these bad foods, zero temptation to "cheat." I don't have a cheat meal or cheat day...I just eat healthy. At times I will treat myself...as in a big multi course dinner with a dessert....but it's not cheating so much as planning how I want to spend my daily calories.
You are going to find a lot of people on here who disagree with you. While I agree that McD's is disgusting, that's my personal opinion. And places like Chipotle and Panda Express use fresh, mostly "whole" ingredients. So much so, that at Panda you can see the beautiful containers of fresh veggies they have prepped along with containers of fresh meat. Don't demonize all food that can be prepared quickly and encourage others to do so as well. If you don't want to eat at those places, fine, that is absolutely your call, but don't tell others that food from those places is akin to poison and should only be eaten if there are no other options. Sheesh.
Mmmm, Panda! Veggies and double orange chicken = 880 calories. I can easily fit that for dinner most days!
I agree with @nightengale7, food is food. They are not "bad" or "good." They are neutral.4 -
While I agree the whole idea of a cheat meal or cheat day is bad because it links emotions to food, I disagree with the idea that there is no such thing as good or bad food. Some food, i.e. Fast food( McDonalds, KFC, Chipotle, Panda Express), is clearly bad and should only be eaten if the only food on the planet and you'd starve to death without it. I tend to categorise these foods as "food like substances" or "not food" in my mind. If it's not food, then it follows there is no point eating it whatsoever as it's harmful to my health...to me it would be equivalent to drinking a bottle of draino..poisoning myself. I don't even crave these bad foods, zero temptation to "cheat." I don't have a cheat meal or cheat day...I just eat healthy. At times I will treat myself...as in a big multi course dinner with a dessert....but it's not cheating so much as planning how I want to spend my daily calories.
This is not a very healthy or realistic way to look at food. You can eat well rounded meals at most of those places with a little effort. It is much more about the amount of these foods you allow yourself than abstaining altogether. I am a food professional btw so I know for a fact that the places you listed have decent options for people who are counting calories. There are very healthy people who eat at those places from time to time. Moderation is key.5 -
The occasional day eating what you like is no disaster. Hating yourself over it makes no sense, just don't allow yourself to use it as an excuse for giving in and doing it the next day etc. Once a week is fine when losing as you are - consider it a reward for progress day not cheating. And if someone has a McDonalds on that day, so what! I have one every few months... I have lost 18lb over 2 months doing similar...0
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matthewhumpherys582 wrote: »Yeah. Definitely! I've been thinking just to cut them out. The deeper question is how do you rebound after eating something that you probably shouldn't??
How do you rebound? If you feel that bad about it. Use that as a motivator to push that much harder at the gym.0 -
While I agree the whole idea of a cheat meal or cheat day is bad because it links emotions to food, I disagree with the idea that there is no such thing as good or bad food. Some food, i.e. Fast food( McDonalds, KFC, Chipotle, Panda Express), is clearly bad and should only be eaten if the only food on the planet and you'd starve to death without it. I tend to categorise these foods as "food like substances" or "not food" in my mind. If it's not food, then it follows there is no point eating it whatsoever as it's harmful to my health...to me it would be equivalent to drinking a bottle of draino..poisoning myself. I don't even crave these bad foods, zero temptation to "cheat." I don't have a cheat meal or cheat day...I just eat healthy. At times I will treat myself...as in a big multi course dinner with a dessert....but it's not cheating so much as planning how I want to spend my daily calories.
You do understand that there is a fundamental difference between fast food and Draino, right? There's no amount of Draino that is safe for human consumption, but there is certainly an amount of food from any of those restaurants (even McDonald's) that is not only safe for human consumption, but is health-promoting in the right circumstances and amounts. So let's drop the hyperbole, because it isn't going to help the OP's struggle with demonizing food.
If I'm at home and make myself a bowl of brown rice, black beans, sauteed veggies, guacamole and lettuce, that's certainly healthful. I get a bunch of fiber, some protein, some good fats, etc. But if I go to Chipotle and order that exact same thing, suddenly it's poison? Are they adding some extra toxinz, or is it just the fact that they make it more quickly than I typically can that makes it suddenly bad for me? It might have a few extra calories, but either I plan for that or I leave off the rice if I can't fit it in that day.8 -
OP, some people do well with a planned cheat meal, whereas others might do better incorporating smaller treats more often. Either way is fine, and you should talk with your trainer about switching up your plan if it's really causing you that much anxiety.
If you imagine having, say, 200 calories of treat foods every day, how does that feel? If it causes you the same amount of anxiety as when you imagine having a full cheat meal, that's a red flag that your relationship with food might be getting a little unhealthy. If it's a case of "I can comfortably eat a wide variety of foods, but the cheat meal plan just doesn't work," that's one thing; if it's a case of "I can only comfortably eat a narrow range of foods that I consider to be 'clean' or 'healthy'", that's a totally different thing.2 -
I'm going to ignore some of the posts in this thread and just address the OP.
Your trainer is likely sticking to the concept of the refeed or diet break concept in order to keep some of your key hormones from becoming depleted while dieting.
What you eat for this meal is up to you.
There has been some research done on dietary compliance (I believe I've seen this cited by Lyle McDonald ... ah found an article, but he didn't cite the research with a link: http://www.bodyrecomposition.com/fat-loss/flexible-versus-rigid-dieting.html/ ) that people who restrict foods most of the time but plan indulgences weekly are more likely to stick to their diets than those who try to white knuckle things the whole time and cut things out entirely.
So, the answer is to maybe change your thinking and trust the research and be kinder to yourself.
If you're not going over your calorie goals, it's okay, in the context of an overall nutritious diet to have a few indulgence foods once a week. That's part of a healthy mindset about food. Focusing too much on being perfect isn't a good attitude to have.1 -
That is why I hate the term cheat meal. If you are trying to lose weight and eating most days at a deficit that is "corrective action" to fix a health problem, like medicine, not normal eating, but everyone treats it like it's normal and then call the normal day one day a week a cheat day or meal. That is backwards. The one day a week to eat up to normal should be planned up to normal maintenance, and it's not cheating, it's normal eating, it's what you are SUPPOSED to eat. It helps keep your hormones stable. It helps keep you from binging in the long term. But you have to plan it out first. Enter the food you think you want in your diary FIRST, then make adjustments. I call it maintenance calories but I think MFP has TDEE or something somewhere and that is similar. It's just a mindset shift. Normal eating not cheating. Eating is not cheating.2
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I absolutely hate the term cheat meal / cheat day. Hate it.
If I want a treat that is higher in calories/ lower in nutrition than I normally eat while trying to stay on plan, I try to allow for it while staying in a deficit (i.e. eating a little less next meal or next day or exercising a little more to bank extra calories)...or if I go over a little then I go over a little...no big deal.
This is life. And I hate the negative energy attached to treats!!! I don't "punish myself" with exercise if I over eat. I don't see it that way...I just see it as a way to EARN extra calories for a treat if that makes sense.
As to clean eating, food is food. Almost all foods, even ice cream...provide nutrients. Some are just better than others at doing it. Lol.3 -
I know exactly how you feel. For me, I had to stop treating things that I ate as "bad" or "cheating". It may be a deviation from what you and your trainer are working on but changing the language helps a lot. Also, if it bothers you *that* much... consider doing something non-food related for your off-day. As someone who is dealing with an eating disorder, it's important to treat food as fuel and not as the enemy. There are things that are going to give you the best energy and fueling and there are going to be things that gunk up your engine, so to speak, and make you feel like crap. If you know something is going to be triggering or make you feel bad, it's best to avoid it. Eat what makes you feel good and you should have less trouble with the post-indulgence hate-fest. Food is not the enemy. YOU are not the enemy. I know that if I have certain foods I feel awful all around so I just don't have them. It's not a deprivation or control issue... it's just knowing my body and listening to it. Good luck
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cerise_noir wrote: »
Excellent point! I went to the movies this weekend and for me, its just not a trip to the movie theater without a tub of buttered popcorn. I adjusted for the day, having a later breakfast and then a fairly low cal stir fry for dinner. I have no intentions whatsoever of giving up the occasional popcorn or ice cream. I just have to train myself to adjust when I do. Life's too short to feel guilty about the occasional splurge. Especially when you've planned for it.
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here's an article I found over the weekend about cheat days written by one of the guys I'm working with for my nutrition
https://www.muscleandstrength.com/articles/how-to-incorporate-cheat-meals-into-diet0 -
The bottom line is, if it doesn't feel like a reward or something you can relax and enjoy, there's really no point to it. But keep in mind if your cals for the week are still in a deficit, why even consider it a "cheat?" If you plan your day or week accordingly and can make that meal fit in your goals, there's no reason to feel bad or guilty about it. It's actually something to be somewhat proud of.0
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If your trainer has factored in these 'cheat days' then I'd say don't feel guilty and enjoy whatever you choose to eat or drink on those days. Personally, I don't have 'cheat days' - I just eat. Some days will be healthier than others but as long as the unhealthy days aren't daily and I'm sensible, I'm happy with what I'm doing. This is how I intend to eat for the rest of my life, so I'm not depriving myself if I'm out with friends but I'm also not regularly eating stuff that I know, deep down, is nutritionally worthless. If I want a snack, I now grab some fruit or a handful of nuts rather than a packet of crisps. Conversely, if I want a glass of wine with my meal, I'm going to have one. If I've had a big night out (or got one planned), I may spend a bit longer in the gym the next day. Every few days, I look at my Average Net for the past week. My aim is to be averaging something close to my Goal, but definitely lower than my TDEE.2
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Well, ultimately the cheat meal is designed to help satisfy cravings and bring your hormone levels back in line so that your body doesn't enter starvation mode after being g in a caloric deficit for a prolonged period of time. I personally physically feel terrible after mine, but mentally I know they are a necessary evil and just accept it.0
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My husband is a personal trainer as well as my coach and support. He recommends cheat meals weekly. I don't think you should look at it as being "bad"or something to punish yourself over. If your trainer programmed it into your training, chances are it's beneficial to your progress. Many believe it helps keep you on track the rest of the week and some even say it's like a reset for the body.0
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While I agree the whole idea of a cheat meal or cheat day is bad because it links emotions to food, I disagree with the idea that there is no such thing as good or bad food. Some food, i.e. Fast food( McDonalds, KFC, Chipotle, Panda Express), is clearly bad and should only be eaten if the only food on the planet and you'd starve to death without it. I tend to categorise these foods as "food like substances" or "not food" in my mind. If it's not food, then it follows there is no point eating it whatsoever as it's harmful to my health...to me it would be equivalent to drinking a bottle of draino..poisoning myself. I don't even crave these bad foods, zero temptation to "cheat." I don't have a cheat meal or cheat day...I just eat healthy. At times I will treat myself...as in a big multi course dinner with a dessert....but it's not cheating so much as planning how I want to spend my daily calories.
Sorry for your disordered and unhealthy relationship with food. I hope the OP realizes this is an extreme, unnecessary and completely unfounded viewpoint, as it could otherwise undoubtedly have an adverse effect upon his future outlook. A healthy diet is best regarded in its overall state, with context and dosage taken into consideration - not by individual foods/meals in isolation.11
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