I guess this is my low

singletrackmtbr wrote: »

sonia_mt wrote: »

singletrackmtbr wrote: »

I won't pile on as it is all good advice, but I will add a different approach.

People who want to change due to approval/disapproval of others often aren't able to sustain the changes. Why? Because if you determine your value and direction using external factors, it can often mean you don't value yourself the way you should. Also, using external approval/disapproval as motivation can lead to unpredictability as everyone around you is different, and individuals can be different from one moment to the next. There is simply too much variability.

Do you love yourself? Forget about your physical appearance for a minute and ask yourself this one question. If the answer is "no," I suggest surrounding yourself with people that do, and who will help you realize and remember all the reasons you should. It isn't unreasonable for some people to seek out a professional to help them get to this place.

If the answer is "yes," then realize you deserve the best for yourself and make changes aimed in that direction. Make attainable goals, and find ways to achieve them that you enjoy. Embrace the process and be proud of your changes, rather than only thinking about goals.

There are many studies out there that show most people who lose a significant amount of weight regain it back (and more) within a year. The most reasonable explanation is they couldn't sustain whatever method of suffering (physical or emotional) they put themselves through. Another possibility is they did it for someone else, or to achieve a short-sighted goal (a wedding or event, beach season, etc) and didn't know what to do when that moment passed by.

I hope you make some lifestyle changes you enjoy and can be proud of, as those will be the ones that stick. Good luck in your journey!

No I don't love myself, I haven't in years.. it's hard to see anything good... not to sure how much detail I should go into, but, I guess I just don't feel like I'm a good person

For me this is the crux of this discussion. You can love or hate your body but it isn't really who you are, despite what some might think.

If you feel this strongly, you might be dismayed to find that losing 100 pounds won't change it. I hope you seek out support and eliminate negative people from your circle. When you do it for you, you will succeed, and it will feel really good!

estherdragonbat wrote: »

One thing to keep in mind: the closer your weight-loss eating is to the way you'll be eating when you reach your goal, the likelier you are to keep going and keep the weight off.

Personally, I'm trying to develop my own healthier relationship with eating. I'm not perfect, but I'm trying to be 'real'. So, it's stuff like recognizing that I'm an introvert who isn't usually good at making small talk at parties and tends to gravitate to the food. And when I'm at a birthday party, yes I want cake and I will not be happy no matter how many pieces of canteloupe or celery sticks I pile on my plate. So, it's learning to realize that the cake isn't inherently 'bad'. What's problematic is having the cake, having seconds, and then going for the ice cream, the chips, the jelly beans, etc—partly because I'm already feeling guilty about the cake when I 'promised' myself I was going to stick to the melon and veggies. What works? Fitting a piece of cake into my daily calories, logging it, and moving on. It's like giving myself permission to have the indulgence, seeing it in the tracker and realizing that it wasn't a 'cheat', but a choice 1) eliminates the guilt and negative self-talk (There you go, off the rails again. Blew the diet. May as well just live it up now cuz today is shot.) 2) Makes it that much easier to stop at the cake. 3) I've found that even if I end up eating a bit more than I thought I would, it's way less than I would have in the past.

There are no foods that are inherently 'good' or 'bad'. Well, okay, I still haven't found a way to love brussels sprouts, but I'm working on it! Unless you are planning to NEVER eat [insert name of food here] again as long as you live, eliminating it entirely may be counterproductive in the long run. Because if what's gong through your head is "once the weight comes off, I'm going to have that pie; I'm going to have a double-scoop sundae..." that's going to make this feel like a temporary punishment, not a lifestyle change. Find out the calories of the foods you love and figure out how to fit them into your weight-loss plan*. I know there are people on MFP who set aside 1-200 calories a day for treats. Or eat a hundred or so calories below goal 6 days a week and then use those 'banked' calories for a weekly indulgence. And it works.

You can do this.




*Note: Most people do have a few foods that are hard to moderate. You might want to refrain from having them temporarily or not keeping them in the house, except for what you can consume at one sitting. Jellybeans are one of mine. If I want to indulge, I buy a small packet; I don't get a large bag.

tealtortoise wrote: »

To the OP, Your story is a strong example as to why I prefer dogs over people. I am sorry you had to go through that experience.