What do you do when you feel unattractive?
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When I'm feeling unattractive I give myself a makeover. First I make a hair appointment. I get a nice trim and some blond highlights.
Then I go to the make up counter and splurge. You can get a makeover from the nice ladies at the make up counter in a major shopping center. They can show you how to use the products properly. That's how I learned to do makeup.
Then I buy myself a nice new outfit. Or at least a new purse.
Then I take pictures of myself looking fresh and post them all over my social media.
When the comments come rolling in, I'm like - yep, I look good.
This might seem a little self centered, but I don't really care. I'm only living this life once, and life is too short to look dowdy.
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My husband finally convinced me that I have absolutely no idea what I am doing with makeup. It took multiple interventions, but I've finally decided to embrace my natural beauty. If I could find a class or something I would take it in a heartbeat though. I love watching videos where ladies who do know what they are doing give themselves a whole different look with a few brushstrokes. When I try to imitate it never goes as planned.
As for hair. Keep trying different stylists until someone does a good job. I've been going au natural in the hair department since moving six months ago and my weird hair is getting to me. A good stylist is worth their weight in gold! Find one. I need to take my own advice on that.
My favorite feel pretty move is to put on an outfit that fits and flatters me well. If there is nothing in the closet that fits that description I need to go shopping. Nothing makes me feel frumpy like too big shapeless clothes. If all hope seems lost there are always shoes.3 -
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I feel like this all the time. I figure that life isn't all about looks, which is a good thing. I can keep living my life regardless of how I look. I think about being healthy and work on appreciating what I do have. Sometimes I will make before and current picture comparisons to make myself really see how far I've come. It helps sometimes. Mostly I figure it just doesn't matter what I look like as nobody is looking in my real life.
You're adorable though. Love those dimples!0 -
When I have those thoughts in my head, I shower and I get ready as if I'm about to impress the most amazing person on this planet ....Except the only one I end up impressing is myself. I end up feeling pretty and those negative thoughts leave.1
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I have found that most of the time it is caused by me feeling ugly about myself on the inside.
I go out and do some random act of kindness and tell the "your ugly" rant to shut it!
Who can feel ugly when they have just something nice.3 -
I love Roald Dahl...he is a master of making children understand big ideas!kristikitter wrote: »OP! I am in one of these spirals right now too!!
I also leave you with this, one of my favourite quotes ever - because sometimes, all it takes is a great personality (which it sounds like you have) -
But Roald Dahl aside, I learned how to put on eye makeup from a 13 year old Asian girl on YouTube when I was 30ish. I prefer no makeup--as I sometimes feel it is false advertising--but I also realize I need to color my life sometimes. I have dysmorphia, so there are more off days than on days, but I embrace that motto "fake it til you make it." At least when it comes to how I look. There are some things you should never fake.
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I so enjoyed the male version of this that I was woefully disappointed by the female version. WTH? I definitely think the crazy zone for men should be JUST as big if not bigger than the one for women (but who is going to argue with a man that is teaching with a 22 on his waist)!!Tweaking_Time wrote: »I watch the Hot-Crazy Matrix video on You-Tube
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Take pills that stop me from feeling that way0
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dylans1789 wrote: »Take pills that stop me from feeling that way
I've considered this but mainly because I'm not sleeping well. It's hard to work 12 hour night shifts with little sleep.0 -
I think most people have days where they feel like you have described.
Honestly (it’s a bit cliché, I know) I learned a long time ago to find things to like about myself rather than how I look. I don’t feel attractive or unattractive, just neutral. Knowing that I am average and having a feeling of humility helps me. I find comfort and confidence in my mediocrity.
There were lots of good suggestions above about asking people for help with clothing, hair, make-up and the “fake it till you make it” idea. Excellent suggestions if that stuff makes you feel more confident.
As far as “shaking it off” I just have to wait ‘till my mood changes. I try to make sure that I have an appropriate clothing choice for every occasion, a “go to” outfit. For those days where you don’t feel awesome about yourself, having a wardrobe selection that doesn’t make you have to think about it too much can help (I think). Also a “go to” hair style (French braid, easy up do, etc.) can help too. If you like make-up, maybe try a light handed look, that you are comfortable with, rather than a bold style that may make you feel even more self-conscious when your confidence is low.
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Avoiding the mirrors like a plague & not going anywhere near it especially the whole body mirrors. I make sure that my phone is constantly open because its screen will resemble a mirror once its in sleep mode then I just think of my talents & all my positive qualities that I get from people like my discipline, maturity, resourcefulness, resilience, practical, a reliable person, wise, level-headed, being responsible, organized etc. (just writing these traits alone already makes me feel better). My confidence is still a work in progress. I'm not a flashy type who is into fashion & make-up, an all black (black is my fave color) tee & jeans or dress plus a loose powder & lipstick or lip balm is more than enough for me though people tell me that I'm actually good in putting it everything together whenever they see me in a formal gathering.
EDIT: Replace negativity thinking with your positive traits & share your talents for free like tutoring your kid or offering to tutor your friend's child on a subject that you're passionate at or if you're good at dancing or you like dancing then offer free dance classes around your neighborhood, they'll enjoy themselves & at the same time they'll get fitter. There's nothing more fulfilling in life than to share your blessings.0 -
If I feel unattractive or fat/gross, I go to Wal-Mart. I always leave feeling more confident about myself after witnessing what lurks out in the world. Everyone has those days. They suck.
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Kasner1975 wrote: »I don't believe I've ever had a legitimate feeling of attractiveness... possibly one or several of these comments will prove useful in changing that.
You have a beard how could you possibly be unattractive! Honestly though this life isn't about being attractive as long as you're happy with yourself at the end of the day that's all that really matters. Having a pretty soul is worth more than having a pretty face.1 -
Having a pretty soul is worth more than having a pretty face. [/quote]
Good point!0 -
I avoid the mirror for the rest of the day and try to focus on what I like about myself and my accomplishments.0
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I Google "How to lose 10 lbs in 1 minute"1
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@HelloNewman01 wrote: »I walk around with a cut-out of Ryan Gosling's face and tape it onto mine.
Not gonna lie that's kinda creepy0 -
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zachbonner_ wrote: »@HelloNewman01 wrote: »I walk around with a cut-out of Ryan Gosling's face and tape it onto mine.
Not gonna lie that's kinda creepy
but cheaper than ryan gosling's real face
But isn't it always best to have the real thing1 -
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I get in here and try to hit up some peeps for a chat1
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Very, very fortunate to have been raised with a dad who daily boosted the self-esteem of my sisters and I. The most loving, caring, thoughtful and selfless man on the planet. Because of this, I don't ever feel unattractive. I don't think I'm super hot or anything, but I never feel badly about my appearance.2
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Very, very fortunate to have been raised with a dad who daily boosted the self-esteem of my sisters and I. The most loving, caring, thoughtful and selfless man on the planet. Because of this, I don't ever feel unattractive. I don't think I'm super hot or anything, but I never feel badly about my appearance.
That's awesome! I'm trying to do the same for my girls.2 -
Take a shower...that usually helps!0
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I never considered myself much of a head turner.
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JukeboxHeroine wrote: »That's awesome! I'm trying to do the same for my girls.
They will thank you forever!
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