Looking less than what you weigh?
Replies
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All this talk about US size 8! I'm a US size 8. I weigh a lot more than people think I do.
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It's always skewed and each person is different. Me & my sister in law both weighed exactly the same just after Christmas. Both were 11st 13. However; I am a UK size 10-12 and she is a UK size 14. Both roughly the same height give or take, she is a couple of inches taller maybe. I do cardio 3 times per week and do extensive weight lifting 3x per week. My sister in law didn't do any form of exercise. Our bodies couldn't look anymore different, but our weight was exactly the same.3
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I read all these posts....maybe I'm just a terrible judge too.
No, I think you are like that Stacy example people post from NerdFitness -- you look much thinner (er, leaner) than I did at the same weight (I'm 5'3), because of strength training. My former trainer was 140 and 5'3 and looked much smaller too (much like you, and that's a compliment).
And you ARE lean, I'm sure, if you know your BF%.
What I think is useless is for someone 50-100 lbs overweight and genuinely with a lot to lose, and they know it, to worry about whether they look their weight. No one knows what particular weights look like and people's perceptions are off in all kinds of ways.3 -
No, i think most people who think they look less have no idea how a normal non-overweight body looks anymore. I've never seen someone who looks more or less than they actually weigh.2
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I'm short and people always think I way 120 max. I wish! I'm 140. Also, the fattest part of me is my stomach and I do a pretty good job at hiding it which is probably another reason people think I'm thinner than I am. I have pretty thin legs and arms so if I dress well, I look a size or two smaller. I remember many times going from weeks of wearing crappy outfits to dressing nice and everyone asks if I've lost weight! Clothes can make a world of difference.2
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@jodietownsend03 Wow! You look awesome!
@SierraFatToSkinny Damn! You kinda remind me of Jodie because you guys both seemed to have lost the weight in pretty much one area (Jodie in her hips, you in your waist). It's incredible! You guys look amazing!
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This post reminds me of a pastor who told the story of being at a hospital and seeing a lady step on a scale to weigh herself. "Do you mind if I guess your weight?"
She told him she didn't and when she discovered that his guess was just a few pounds off she asked, "How did you do that?"
"Oh, it was easy," he said, "I used to weigh hogs."
When my weight was floating around 270, I had convinced myself that I really wasn't that much overweight. I think we all tend to do that. And most of our friends are too kind to say, "you look like a big fat hog." Instead, they say things like, "You could lose a few pounds, but you don't look bad." We look in the mirror and see one part of the body that we focus on. For me it was my belly, but we don't notice other things, like our legs or our arms, or our face. We may experience health issues, like shortness of breath, sore knees, acid re-flux, or a general tendency to fill ill, but we tend to say things like "I'm just not as young as I used to be" rather than saying, "I'm obese."
From experience I can say that I don't believe a person who is overweight is far enough removed from the situation to say that they don't look as heavy as they are. Once they lose the weight and get down to the weight they thought they looked like they were, they are much more likely to say, "I can't believe I thought I looked this weight!"2 -
From my perspective, I've never looked less than I weighed. Other people either said nothing or made insulting remarks. Currently, people don't believe I've lost 180#. Yeah, okay, I'm totally lying.2
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TimothyFish wrote: »This post reminds me of a pastor who told the story of being at a hospital and seeing a lady step on a scale to weigh herself. "Do you mind if I guess your weight?"
She told him she didn't and when she discovered that his guess was just a few pounds off she asked, "How did you do that?"
"Oh, it was easy," he said, "I used to weigh hogs."
When my weight was floating around 270, I had convinced myself that I really wasn't that much overweight. I think we all tend to do that. And most of our friends are too kind to say, "you look like a big fat hog." Instead, they say things like, "You could lose a few pounds, but you don't look bad." We look in the mirror and see one part of the body that we focus on. For me it was my belly, but we don't notice other things, like our legs or our arms, or our face. We may experience health issues, like shortness of breath, sore knees, acid re-flux, or a general tendency to fill ill, but we tend to say things like "I'm just not as young as I used to be" rather than saying, "I'm obese."
From experience I can say that I don't believe a person who is overweight is far enough removed from the situation to say that they don't look as heavy as they are. Once they lose the weight and get down to the weight they thought they looked like they were, they are much more likely to say, "I can't believe I thought I looked this weight!"
It was actually incredibly freeing to admit to myself that I was obese and that yes, I looked the weight. Coming to terms with the fact that I had 50kg to lose helped me actually lose the weight.
I actually shocked people when started applying that word to myself. There seems to be something taboo about using it to describe one's self. Yet being realistic about where I was and where I need to go helped me get on the way there.
Oddly enough, 30kg later and my brain is once again lagging behind. Now that I'm at the weight I thought I was at (BMI 29), my brain is still thinking I'm at the weight I was actually at (BMI40). Leads to some funny situations in changing rooms when I pick up items several sizes too large just because my brain hasn't made the latest switch.
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Tangential anecdote: When I was pregnant, I got an ultrasound. The tech looked at my chart before she started and actually gasped. She had assumed I was newly pregnant. I was actually fully loaded -- overdue by a week. We decided it was because I'm tall with broad shoulders and a larger chest. I'm sure also being overweight contributed as well, but she was too tactful to say so. The baby was just tucked right in there.
I think people don't have a good eye for it. That said, some people are just more dense. My son and daughter are the same height and about the same slender size, but she is significantly heavier. We always joke that she's made out of lead.4 -
No, at 5'5" you do not look like you weigh 274lbs. You probably have dense bones or more muscle than the average person your height and weight. I have always weighed about 20lbs or so more than most people would guess. I don't really know why but I've lossed and gained weight a few times and I can say that I notice my body measurements are very similar to what I weighed when I was less heavy but exercised a lot less so I attribute it to muscle. You carry your weight well --that's a good thing. You're not delusional or skewed. Every body is different. Focus on your personal fitness goals and not on other people's perception or solely on the number on the scale.1
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Even my doctor thinks I weigh less. Its hilarious when they go to weigh me and I say " you are going to need that quite a bit more to the right ." I tend to have a flat tummy , small waist and carry my weight through hips, thighs, butt. Also I have friends that weigh a lot less than me ( I mean by 40-50 pounds) and we wear the same size clothes. The pants are loose on my waist but tight through thighs, butt and on them they are tight on waist but loose on legs and butt.4
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I think most people are just being polite which is a good thing.8
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Yess! This is a real problem. I am overweight for my height and my family does not agree and disrespects my food choices by always sending me home with desserts and junk food because I "don't need to lose weight". Okay. Firstly, any one who doesn't see me in my birthday suit doesn't know how disgusted I am with myself. Secondly, I know my BMI and I am overweight! I tried explaining to them I can't eat all this crap like they did and they're "fine". Well we have a more sedentary life style than you know, people over 80 years old did. And how dare they tell me they are fine and I need to eat MORE, when they have diabetes! I guess misery loves company and my own family wishes for me to suffer with them.. Because of this I have only lost 13 pounds and have 31 more pounds to go! I should already be at my goal weight but I am being held back by family and sometimes even friends. Everyone always wants you to eat, eat, and eat some more. Ugh!1
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br1tt3rb33 wrote: »Yess! This is a real problem. I am overweight for my height and my family does not agree and disrespects my food choices by always sending me home with desserts and junk food because I "don't need to lose weight". Okay. Firstly, any one who doesn't see me in my birthday suit doesn't know how disgusted I am with myself. Secondly, I know my BMI and I am overweight! I tried explaining to them I can't eat all this crap like they did and they're "fine". Well we have a more sedentary life style than you know, people over 80 years old did. And how dare they tell me they are fine and I need to eat MORE, when they have diabetes! I guess misery loves company and my own family wishes for me to suffer with them.. Because of this I have only lost 13 pounds and have 31 more pounds to go! I should already be at my goal weight but I am being held back by family and sometimes even friends. Everyone always wants you to eat, eat, and eat some more. Ugh!
You know, you can say no and don't eat it.6 -
br1tt3rb33 wrote: »Yess! This is a real problem. I am overweight for my height and my family does not agree and disrespects my food choices by always sending me home with desserts and junk food because I "don't need to lose weight". Okay. Firstly, any one who doesn't see me in my birthday suit doesn't know how disgusted I am with myself. Secondly, I know my BMI and I am overweight! I tried explaining to them I can't eat all this crap like they did and they're "fine". Well we have a more sedentary life style than you know, people over 80 years old did. And how dare they tell me they are fine and I need to eat MORE, when they have diabetes! I guess misery loves company and my own family wishes for me to suffer with them.. Because of this I have only lost 13 pounds and have 31 more pounds to go! I should already be at my goal weight but I am being held back by family and sometimes even friends. Everyone always wants you to eat, eat, and eat some more. Ugh!
I would just keep being belligerent. I know especially for non-assertive types this is difficult, but if you don't act like your life is on the line, they may never take you seriously. I had to do this with my family. My mom used to get frustrated by me weighing everything because it was "messing up" her system for serving dinner. I just kept doing it. Now, she admires me for being so dedicated. I even got her to start logging and losing weight! Keep pushing. Throw the sweets in the garbage right in front of them if you have to. Be aggressive.1 -
It depends on who you ask. There are a lot of people IRL who know me and think I weigh too little. I've had to stop talking to some people about how I'm still trying to lose those last few lbs. of fat because they just argue with me. This is based on appearance alone, which is only the parts they can see. I hide my belly fat pretty well, and that is where all of my remaining fat seems to be located. My arms are so thin that I can see veins regardless of how well I'm hydrated, but I still have this huge gut!
Recently, I had this conversation with my endocrinologist (I have type 1 diabetes and see an endocrinologist for that) as I'm trying to make changes to get rid of the remaining fat. He started to argue with me about whether I still needed to lose weight, obviously based on appearance. So he used my weight / height and did a quick BMI calculation, which showed I'm within the "normal" range, but at the high side. He still couldn't believe it because I apparently appear really thin. I didn't take off my shirt, but if I had, he would realize how fat I really am.
Though I have fat left to lose, it is all concentrated in an area that is covered pretty well. Everyone else seems to think I weigh too little. They are wrong, and I know something they don't - that there is a big chunk of belly fat.
Also, I believe the proliferation of obesity in the U.S. skews perception. Because a large majority of the population is overweight or obese, it has become considered "normal" and "healthy" to be overweight.0 -
br1tt3rb33 wrote: »Yess! This is a real problem. I am overweight for my height and my family does not agree and disrespects my food choices by always sending me home with desserts and junk food because I "don't need to lose weight". Okay. Firstly, any one who doesn't see me in my birthday suit doesn't know how disgusted I am with myself. Secondly, I know my BMI and I am overweight! I tried explaining to them I can't eat all this crap like they did and they're "fine". Well we have a more sedentary life style than you know, people over 80 years old did. And how dare they tell me they are fine and I need to eat MORE, when they have diabetes! I guess misery loves company and my own family wishes for me to suffer with them.. Because of this I have only lost 13 pounds and have 31 more pounds to go! I should already be at my goal weight but I am being held back by family and sometimes even friends. Everyone always wants you to eat, eat, and eat some more. Ugh!
take said dessert, get it home, put it in the bin... or take it into work the following day.. job done.
or just don't take it. your choice!
don't talk to your family about your weight, and then they wont have chance to comment.2 -
I have just started the throwing food away approach as of recent after talking with one supportive friend. She and I both have a hard time throwing food away coming from a childhood where we've known hunger. Other than that I don't know what to do so that I am not rude. I can't be aggressive towards certain family members and wasteful. I really struggle with choosing to throw food away.2
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I am still technically obese...my goal is to lose maybe 20 more pounds
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nataliecg926 wrote: »I probably do look my weight, just have a skewed idea of what weight actually looks like because everyone always underestimates I think
By your pictures you are a beautiful curvy woman. You carry your weight well ( not all in one spot). And others will always see what they want; but as long as you are working on you and are happy in your skin.. that's ultimately what matters0 -
br1tt3rb33 wrote: »I have just started the throwing food away approach as of recent after talking with one supportive friend. She and I both have a hard time throwing food away coming from a childhood where we've known hunger. Other than that I don't know what to do so that I am not rude. I can't be aggressive towards certain family members and wasteful. I really struggle with choosing to throw food away.
Yeah, I get that. My mom used to guilt me with the "starving children in Africa". But remember to things: that food is going to waste anyways whether it goes in the bin or on your thighs. Also, that food is already made. Would you be able to reasonably donate it to a third world country? If it's a canned good, maybe, and if that makes you feel better than go for it! A cupcake though? There's really nothing that can be done.
And I know being assertive is hard, but you just gotta take a leap of faith and go for it. Otherwise, your family will dictate your health every step of the way. Say no now and it will get easier down the line. And, hopefully, at some point, they'll stop pestering and mind their own business!0 -
br1tt3rb33 wrote: »I have just started the throwing food away approach as of recent after talking with one supportive friend. She and I both have a hard time throwing food away coming from a childhood where we've known hunger. Other than that I don't know what to do so that I am not rude. I can't be aggressive towards certain family members and wasteful. I really struggle with choosing to throw food away.
if you hav esaid 'thanks but i don't want it, if i take it home it'll just end up in the bin' and they keep saying 'take it, take it, take it' then they are being wasteful, not you.
or portion it out into amounts that you can fit into your weekly calories and freeze the rest?
life is too short to never have dessert and there is nothing wrong with 'junk' in moderation if overall you have a healthy diet.2 -
I understand what you are saying--I weigh 373 pounds (lost 7 pounds last week--yay!) and when doctors see my weight on the chart they always say, "go weigh again, that can't be right; it's too high." I don't know if my fat cells are more compressed (lol!) or what but I'm glad of it!0
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TavistockToad wrote: »br1tt3rb33 wrote: »I have just started the throwing food away approach as of recent after talking with one supportive friend. She and I both have a hard time throwing food away coming from a childhood where we've known hunger. Other than that I don't know what to do so that I am not rude. I can't be aggressive towards certain family members and wasteful. I really struggle with choosing to throw food away.
if you hav esaid 'thanks but i don't want it, if i take it home it'll just end up in the bin' and they keep saying 'take it, take it, take it' then they are being wasteful, not you.
or portion it out into amounts that you can fit into your weekly calories and freeze the rest?
life is too short to never have dessert and there is nothing wrong with 'junk' in moderation if overall you have a healthy diet.SparklyBubblyBabe wrote: »br1tt3rb33 wrote: »I have just started the throwing food away approach as of recent after talking with one supportive friend. She and I both have a hard time throwing food away coming from a childhood where we've known hunger. Other than that I don't know what to do so that I am not rude. I can't be aggressive towards certain family members and wasteful. I really struggle with choosing to throw food away.
Yeah, I get that. My mom used to guilt me with the "starving children in Africa". But remember to things: that food is going to waste anyways whether it goes in the bin or on your thighs. Also, that food is already made. Would you be able to reasonably donate it to a third world country? If it's a canned good, maybe, and if that makes you feel better than go for it! A cupcake though? There's really nothing that can be done.
And I know being assertive is hard, but you just gotta take a leap of faith and go for it. Otherwise, your family will dictate your health every step of the way. Say no now and it will get easier down the line. And, hopefully, at some point, they'll stop pestering and mind their own business!
Thanks it's just good to know there are like minded people out there and I appreciate the support! Funny how with the internet we turn to strangers for that sort of thing when it should come from people we love. This is my struggle and I know it seems a silly thing but for me it is extremely frustrating.0 -
I understand what you are saying--I weigh 373 pounds (lost 7 pounds last week--yay!) and when doctors see my weight on the chart they always say, "go weigh again, that can't be right; it's too high." I don't know if my fat cells are more compressed (lol!) or what but I'm glad of it!
Well that's gotta make you feel good!1 -
ladyreva78 wrote: »TimothyFish wrote: »This post reminds me of a pastor who told the story of being at a hospital and seeing a lady step on a scale to weigh herself. "Do you mind if I guess your weight?"
She told him she didn't and when she discovered that his guess was just a few pounds off she asked, "How did you do that?"
"Oh, it was easy," he said, "I used to weigh hogs."
When my weight was floating around 270, I had convinced myself that I really wasn't that much overweight. I think we all tend to do that. And most of our friends are too kind to say, "you look like a big fat hog." Instead, they say things like, "You could lose a few pounds, but you don't look bad." We look in the mirror and see one part of the body that we focus on. For me it was my belly, but we don't notice other things, like our legs or our arms, or our face. We may experience health issues, like shortness of breath, sore knees, acid re-flux, or a general tendency to fill ill, but we tend to say things like "I'm just not as young as I used to be" rather than saying, "I'm obese."
From experience I can say that I don't believe a person who is overweight is far enough removed from the situation to say that they don't look as heavy as they are. Once they lose the weight and get down to the weight they thought they looked like they were, they are much more likely to say, "I can't believe I thought I looked this weight!"
It was actually incredibly freeing to admit to myself that I was obese and that yes, I looked the weight. Coming to terms with the fact that I had 50kg to lose helped me actually lose the weight.
I actually shocked people when started applying that word to myself. There seems to be something taboo about using it to describe one's self. Yet being realistic about where I was and where I need to go helped me get on the way there.
Oddly enough, 30kg later and my brain is once again lagging behind. Now that I'm at the weight I thought I was at (BMI 29), my brain is still thinking I'm at the weight I was actually at (BMI40). Leads to some funny situations in changing rooms when I pick up items several sizes too large just because my brain hasn't made the latest switch.
Oh, this is so true, so very true! I don't know that I would have progressed as far as I have if I had not been able to connect with that fundamental truth.
I too am stuck with the image of where I am now, brain lag, and progress. I want to lose a little vanity weight, and now that I'm smaller than I think I am, there's a little devil on my shoulder telling me it's okay to loosen up some of the controls I had in place. Silly, silly devil.4 -
ladyreva78 wrote: »TimothyFish wrote: »This post reminds me of a pastor who told the story of being at a hospital and seeing a lady step on a scale to weigh herself. "Do you mind if I guess your weight?"
She told him she didn't and when she discovered that his guess was just a few pounds off she asked, "How did you do that?"
"Oh, it was easy," he said, "I used to weigh hogs."
When my weight was floating around 270, I had convinced myself that I really wasn't that much overweight. I think we all tend to do that. And most of our friends are too kind to say, "you look like a big fat hog." Instead, they say things like, "You could lose a few pounds, but you don't look bad." We look in the mirror and see one part of the body that we focus on. For me it was my belly, but we don't notice other things, like our legs or our arms, or our face. We may experience health issues, like shortness of breath, sore knees, acid re-flux, or a general tendency to fill ill, but we tend to say things like "I'm just not as young as I used to be" rather than saying, "I'm obese."
From experience I can say that I don't believe a person who is overweight is far enough removed from the situation to say that they don't look as heavy as they are. Once they lose the weight and get down to the weight they thought they looked like they were, they are much more likely to say, "I can't believe I thought I looked this weight!"
It was actually incredibly freeing to admit to myself that I was obese and that yes, I looked the weight. Coming to terms with the fact that I had 50kg to lose helped me actually lose the weight.
I actually shocked people when started applying that word to myself. There seems to be something taboo about using it to describe one's self. Yet being realistic about where I was and where I need to go helped me get on the way there.
Oddly enough, 30kg later and my brain is once again lagging behind. Now that I'm at the weight I thought I was at (BMI 29), my brain is still thinking I'm at the weight I was actually at (BMI40). Leads to some funny situations in changing rooms when I pick up items several sizes too large just because my brain hasn't made the latest switch.
I went shopping recently with my sis-in-law and picked up a couple of dresses to try on. She gave me a very quizzical look and said, "er, I think you might need a smaller size". She was right. I'm 25lbs down and my brain has definitely not caught up yet.2 -
MyBodyGallery.com is good for this. They post pictures of women at all different heights and weights. There is also a quiz on there to show how hard it is to guess someone's weight, I highly recommend taking it because it'll change your prespective.0
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Tiny_Dancer_in_Pink wrote: »br1tt3rb33 wrote: »Yess! This is a real problem. I am overweight for my height and my family does not agree and disrespects my food choices by always sending me home with desserts and junk food because I "don't need to lose weight". Okay. Firstly, any one who doesn't see me in my birthday suit doesn't know how disgusted I am with myself. Secondly, I know my BMI and I am overweight! I tried explaining to them I can't eat all this crap like they did and they're "fine". Well we have a more sedentary life style than you know, people over 80 years old did. And how dare they tell me they are fine and I need to eat MORE, when they have diabetes! I guess misery loves company and my own family wishes for me to suffer with them.. Because of this I have only lost 13 pounds and have 31 more pounds to go! I should already be at my goal weight but I am being held back by family and sometimes even friends. Everyone always wants you to eat, eat, and eat some more. Ugh!
You know, you can say no and don't eat it.
This. People say stuff like that all the time, to most of us. You just nod and smile and ignore it or say "no thank you" or if you get food shoved in your hand after saying no give it away or toss it (which is really okay).
No one can make you eat something.
It's not disrespecting you or trying to sabotage you, it's just thinking you don't really mean it and trying to be nice, usually, or really having perceptions that are off.1
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