Is it rude to decline friend requests?

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  • LovesDogsAndBooks
    LovesDogsAndBooks Posts: 190 Member
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    I would just decline without sending them a message as to why you don't find them worthy of your friendship. Maybe that's ruder though but I think when we start over explaining that's when things go haywire.

    I just reread my op to figure out how you got the idea that I deem them unworthy of my friendship. That's certainly not what I think at all.
  • LovesDogsAndBooks
    LovesDogsAndBooks Posts: 190 Member
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    try2again wrote: »
    Is it rude to decline to become friends with every person you meet IRL? I'm sort of baffled that you've been on here a day, with a generic avatar, and are already receiving requests. What did you post yesterday? ;)

    When I started on MFP, I reached out to a few women my own age, with similar goals, and most of those women are still active with me on here today as we continue to try to transform our bodies & health. They've been very helpful and encouraging to me, but not everyone wants that. Nowadays I rarely extend or accept FRs, especially if they don't include a message explaining why that person is interested in being friends with me. I'm sort of old-fashioned that way... I want to have something in common with a person, not just collect avatars on my friends page. :)

    I opened one thread asking questions about the food logging feature, and answered another newbie in their post, that's all.
  • Rhody_Hoosier
    Rhody_Hoosier Posts: 688 Member
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    I would just decline without sending them a message as to why you don't find them worthy of your friendship. Maybe that's ruder though but I think when we start over explaining that's when things go haywire.

    Yeah i don't send a reply when I decline requests. This is the internets...we not friends.
  • try2again
    try2again Posts: 3,562 Member
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    try2again wrote: »
    Is it rude to decline to become friends with every person you meet IRL? I'm sort of baffled that you've been on here a day, with a generic avatar, and are already receiving requests. What did you post yesterday? ;)

    When I started on MFP, I reached out to a few women my own age, with similar goals, and most of those women are still active with me on here today as we continue to try to transform our bodies & health. They've been very helpful and encouraging to me, but not everyone wants that. Nowadays I rarely extend or accept FRs, especially if they don't include a message explaining why that person is interested in being friends with me. I'm sort of old-fashioned that way... I want to have something in common with a person, not just collect avatars on my friends page. :)

    I opened one thread asking questions about the food logging feature, and answered another newbie in their post, that's all.

    I was just teasing you ;)
  • besaro
    besaro Posts: 1,858 Member
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    nope
  • malibu927
    malibu927 Posts: 17,565 Member
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    Not rude at all. I don't accept many requests anymore. But I'm also not a person who interacts with my feed much.
  • VeryKatie
    VeryKatie Posts: 5,952 Member
    edited March 2017
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    I decline anyone who doesn't send a message with the invite. But I also state that right on my profile. I don't think it's rude. A lot of people don't want 1000 friends, they just want ones that help them go toward their goals. Some people do benefit from having a lot of friends though. Personal preference.
  • LovesDogsAndBooks
    LovesDogsAndBooks Posts: 190 Member
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    I opened one thread asking questions about the food logging feature, and answered another newbie in their post, that's all.[/quote]

    I was just teasing you ;)[/quote]

    Got it!

    And what you said about not wanting to just collect avatars on your friends page resonated with me. Thanks!
  • rainbow198
    rainbow198 Posts: 2,245 Member
    edited March 2017
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    Not at all! In fact I felt the same way as you when I first came here. I was here just for the forums.

    Then I slowly started meeting some amazing people and eventually made some really great friends!

    The support is great too. I lost half of my weight (about 40 pounds) all on my own, then I found MFP. It was great meeting like-minded people that were into health & fitness just as much as I am.

    But the choice is all yours!
  • ilfaith
    ilfaith Posts: 16,769 Member
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    In my early days on MFP I accepted every friend request I received. Eventually, I stopped accepting requests from anyone with a blank or private profile (unless I had already interacted with them in the forums or through private messages), and I posted on my own profile that I would only accept friends who sent a message along with their request. I never actually decline anyone, which is why I have 200+ MFPers sitting in friend request limbo (perhaps that is ruder than outright declining them).

    For the past few months I have been unable to access my friend requests, so sadly, anyone who does send one is being ignored.
  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
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    I don't accept friend requests because I signed up on MFP 6 years ago to help support several family members. At the time, we agreed to only friend one another so we could use our feed as a way to communicate personal family stuff while working on our health and fitness. We still do this. I used to spend a lot of time explaining to people why I was declining their friend requests, but I don't bother anymore. I've been here for 6 years and I don't have time to do that. Don't even worry about it. You can do plenty of socializing without having any "friends."


    (I may not accept friend requests, but I always respond to friendly PM's.) B)
  • hapa11
    hapa11 Posts: 182 Member
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    I use MFP for forum motivation and the diary, and only have one friend--an actual friend in real life. I don't think it's rude to decline requests.
  • caroldavison332
    caroldavison332 Posts: 864 Member
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    People don't say yes to friend requests? Surprised. It's just words on a screen.
  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
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    pinuplove wrote: »
    It's not as if they get a notification when you decline their request. You just never show up on their friends list. Decline away!

    That's good to know. I always wondered what happened when I declined...
  • amyr271
    amyr271 Posts: 343 Member
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    I would just decline without sending them a message as to why you don't find them worthy of your friendship. Maybe that's ruder though but I think when we start over explaining that's when things go haywire.

    Also, you don't owe strangers on the internet an explanation as to why you don't want to be their friend.

    Maybe I'm just unsociable
  • MonkeyMel21
    MonkeyMel21 Posts: 2,395 Member
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    VeryKatie wrote: »
    I decline anyone who doesn't send a message with the invite. But I also state that right on my profile. I don't think it's rude. A lot of people don't want 1000 friends, they just want ones that help them go toward their goals. Some people do benefit from having a lot of friends though. Personal preference.

    This is me. I get a couple FR's a week but still have less than 30 friends. If I think someone who sends a request with out a message my benefit me on my list then I'll send them a message and chat them up first before I make my decision. Some people are completely over the top on their news feeds and some people are almost invisible, so I get rid of those people quickly if they find their way to my friends list.
  • Ready2Rock206
    Ready2Rock206 Posts: 9,488 Member
    edited March 2017
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    I would just decline without sending them a message as to why you don't find them worthy of your friendship. Maybe that's ruder though but I think when we start over explaining that's when things go haywire.

    I just reread my op to figure out how you got the idea that I deem them unworthy of my friendship. That's certainly not what I think at all.

    Was just teasing a bit. Not really thinking you find them unworthy. :) and since you posted this you are obviously caring about how others are feeling. You're good to decline, don't feel guilty.
  • ShrinkingViolet1982
    ShrinkingViolet1982 Posts: 919 Member
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    I have accepted as usually it's because they saw something I said that resonated, and we get along. I do remove people now and again like if they're gone for a year, or if they start behaving in a way that bothers me.
  • Ready2Rock206
    Ready2Rock206 Posts: 9,488 Member
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    Theo166 wrote: »
    I would just decline without sending them a message as to why you don't find them worthy of your friendship. Maybe that's ruder though but I think when we start over explaining that's when things go haywire.

    I'll add if they didn't include a note, you should feel zero guilt in refusing the request.

    However if you've bantered in the threads or they included a note with their FR, it would be kind to explain why you are declining.

    I don't disagree. That would make more sense to send a reason for declining if there's been done back and forth established.

    I do accept friend requests so those with a note usually get accepted. Those without it just depends on my mood at the moment.
  • megzchica23
    megzchica23 Posts: 419 Member
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    Having friends can be a great way to get support and motivation. Seeing your friends status updates with exercise and below calorie days can help to get you to push yourself. Doesn't work for all but it sure does for people like me who are competitive. Also, when my friends post statuses with their struggles it helps me to feel not so bad when I struggle and realize I'm only human and tomorrow is a new day. Also, it is nice to have people support and cheer you on. It makes you want to succeed more because most people enjoy praise. But it is all up to you whether you need that or not. It is never rude to decline. It is you life, not theirs. I am picking with who I accept and that is ok.