Is it rude to decline friend requests?

2

Replies

  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
    I don't accept friend requests because I signed up on MFP 6 years ago to help support several family members. At the time, we agreed to only friend one another so we could use our feed as a way to communicate personal family stuff while working on our health and fitness. We still do this. I used to spend a lot of time explaining to people why I was declining their friend requests, but I don't bother anymore. I've been here for 6 years and I don't have time to do that. Don't even worry about it. You can do plenty of socializing without having any "friends."


    (I may not accept friend requests, but I always respond to friendly PM's.) B)
  • hapa11
    hapa11 Posts: 182 Member
    I use MFP for forum motivation and the diary, and only have one friend--an actual friend in real life. I don't think it's rude to decline requests.
  • caroldavison332
    caroldavison332 Posts: 864 Member
    People don't say yes to friend requests? Surprised. It's just words on a screen.
  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
    pinuplove wrote: »
    It's not as if they get a notification when you decline their request. You just never show up on their friends list. Decline away!

    That's good to know. I always wondered what happened when I declined...
  • amyr271
    amyr271 Posts: 343 Member
    Ready2Rock206 wrote: »
    I would just decline without sending them a message as to why you don't find them worthy of your friendship. Maybe that's ruder though but I think when we start over explaining that's when things go haywire.

    Also, you don't owe strangers on the internet an explanation as to why you don't want to be their friend.

    Maybe I'm just unsociable
  • MonkeyMel21
    MonkeyMel21 Posts: 2,396 Member
    VeryKatie wrote: »
    I decline anyone who doesn't send a message with the invite. But I also state that right on my profile. I don't think it's rude. A lot of people don't want 1000 friends, they just want ones that help them go toward their goals. Some people do benefit from having a lot of friends though. Personal preference.

    This is me. I get a couple FR's a week but still have less than 30 friends. If I think someone who sends a request with out a message my benefit me on my list then I'll send them a message and chat them up first before I make my decision. Some people are completely over the top on their news feeds and some people are almost invisible, so I get rid of those people quickly if they find their way to my friends list.
  • Ready2Rock206
    Ready2Rock206 Posts: 9,487 Member
    edited March 2017
    LovesDogsAndBooks wrote: »
    Ready2Rock206 wrote: »
    I would just decline without sending them a message as to why you don't find them worthy of your friendship. Maybe that's ruder though but I think when we start over explaining that's when things go haywire.

    I just reread my op to figure out how you got the idea that I deem them unworthy of my friendship. That's certainly not what I think at all.

    Was just teasing a bit. Not really thinking you find them unworthy. :) and since you posted this you are obviously caring about how others are feeling. You're good to decline, don't feel guilty.
  • ShrinkingViolet1982
    ShrinkingViolet1982 Posts: 919 Member
    I have accepted as usually it's because they saw something I said that resonated, and we get along. I do remove people now and again like if they're gone for a year, or if they start behaving in a way that bothers me.
  • Ready2Rock206
    Ready2Rock206 Posts: 9,487 Member
    Theo166 wrote: »
    Ready2Rock206 wrote: »
    I would just decline without sending them a message as to why you don't find them worthy of your friendship. Maybe that's ruder though but I think when we start over explaining that's when things go haywire.

    I'll add if they didn't include a note, you should feel zero guilt in refusing the request.

    However if you've bantered in the threads or they included a note with their FR, it would be kind to explain why you are declining.

    I don't disagree. That would make more sense to send a reason for declining if there's been done back and forth established.

    I do accept friend requests so those with a note usually get accepted. Those without it just depends on my mood at the moment.
  • megzchica23
    megzchica23 Posts: 419 Member
    Having friends can be a great way to get support and motivation. Seeing your friends status updates with exercise and below calorie days can help to get you to push yourself. Doesn't work for all but it sure does for people like me who are competitive. Also, when my friends post statuses with their struggles it helps me to feel not so bad when I struggle and realize I'm only human and tomorrow is a new day. Also, it is nice to have people support and cheer you on. It makes you want to succeed more because most people enjoy praise. But it is all up to you whether you need that or not. It is never rude to decline. It is you life, not theirs. I am picking with who I accept and that is ok.
  • HonuNui
    HonuNui Posts: 1,464 Member
    I have this statement on my profile page:
    "MFP is a tool for me to log food and exercise. So, thanks for your friend requests, but I decline them as I don't use MFP to get or give support other than what I may post on the forums very occasionally.

    Good luck on all your fitness goals!"

  • SoulRadiation
    SoulRadiation Posts: 1,060 Member
    I'm relatively new to these forums...but if you aren't using the "friends" feature you might be missing out.

    There are comedians here..
  • tinamarie6624
    tinamarie6624 Posts: 182 Member
    I don't think it is rude to decline a friend request. Personally I try to give back to as many people as I can because we all need encouragement. I love my friends on this site who have helped me a great deal. I started at 378 Lbs and have lost 182 Lbs leaving 81 left to go so I do understand the struggle and want to help others to hopefully achieve their own goals.

    I wish you success in all of your endeavors.
  • LovesDogsAndBooks
    LovesDogsAndBooks Posts: 190 Member
    Ready2Rock206 wrote: »
    LovesDogsAndBooks wrote: »
    Ready2Rock206 wrote: »
    I would just decline without sending them a message as to why you don't find them worthy of your friendship. Maybe that's ruder though but I think when we start over explaining that's when things go haywire.

    I just reread my op to figure out how you got the idea that I deem them unworthy of my friendship. That's certainly not what I think at all.

    Was just teasing a bit. Not really thinking you find them unworthy. :) and since you posted this you are obviously caring about how others are feeling. You're good to decline, don't feel guilty.

    I think I need to loosen up a little, this is the second time I didn't get the teasing!
  • LovesDogsAndBooks
    LovesDogsAndBooks Posts: 190 Member
    HonuNui wrote: »
    I have this statement on my profile page:
    "MFP is a tool for me to log food and exercise. So, thanks for your friend requests, but I decline them as I don't use MFP to get or give support other than what I may post on the forums very occasionally.

    Good luck on all your fitness goals!"

    That is a good idea, maybe I'll post something similar to this!
  • LovesDogsAndBooks
    LovesDogsAndBooks Posts: 190 Member
    So for now I'll just stick to not accepting FRs. There is plenty of information in the forums, and a ton of helpful people, I don't feel like I need more than that at the moment. Also, I don't want to come across as someone who is just seeking help here without giving anything back, but I think I can do that in the form of forum posts, if I have anything helpful to contribute. Thanks all for your opinions!
  • AllOutof_Bubblegum
    AllOutof_Bubblegum Posts: 3,646 Member
    You don't owe anybody anything. Decline requests if you want to and move on. No explanation owed or needed. Nothing to feel bad about, and if they get butthurt over it, well, that just proves you made the right choice to decline in the first place.
  • shellyld2016
    shellyld2016 Posts: 288 Member
    It isn't rude. I generally accept requests if they aren't creepy. I'm here to work on my fitness. I have great friends here that do the same and support each other. I just delete anyone that posts a lot of drama, is not active, or is here for other reasons. It's your news feed.
  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 34,225 Member
    Maybe other people who love dogs and books saw your user name and sent you a FR? ;)

    No, it's not rude to decline.

    One thing you might want to consider: Some people put on the profile page that they don't accept friend requests, or don't accept them unless there's a "why I want to be friends" note. That may make it easier for people to understand where you're coming from.

    Me, I pretty much accept everyone. I've "met" some very interesting and inspirational people that way.
  • Rocknut53
    Rocknut53 Posts: 1,794 Member
    I don't even have friends in real life.... ;)
  • miinanov
    miinanov Posts: 37 Member
    I decline people all the time lol
  • AnvilHead
    AnvilHead Posts: 18,343 Member
    I usually don't accept friend requests unless it's somebody I've interacted with and established some sort of rapport with in the forums.

    With that said, the MFP newsfeed function is so borked that I rarely ever post anything on my feed other than the auto-posts about completing my diary or workouts or how may days I've logged in or whatever.
  • Xvapor
    Xvapor Posts: 1,643 Member
    I don't see the point of friends and I don't reply to friends or messages
  • JeanieWww
    JeanieWww Posts: 4,037 Member
    edited March 2017
    Personally, if I have played a game or two in the forums with them to "feel them out" then yeah, I'll probably accept. If I haven't seen them before, chatted, or done a forum game or two with them, I'm tentative and wait. If they don't send a message, I have no idea why they chose me or how, so I'm leery. If they send a message, I often respond. Many reasons and ways to feel if you get and FR. It's up to you. Don't let others make you feel bad if you decline. With this many people in MFP, they are bound to find someone to be friends with.
  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
    I don't think it is, but some people do. I reject at least half of the FR I get.
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,423 Member
    Not rude. Not necessary to send a message explaining you declined.
  • TonyB0588
    TonyB0588 Posts: 9,520 Member
    LovesDogsAndBooks wrote: »
    I just started posting here yesterday and got some friend requests which I declined, explaining that for now I want to stick to the forums for information and motivation. I cannot be the only one who'd rather not do the friend thing online? To be honest, I don't even understand what it entails to be MFP friends.

    In the early stages I ignored the requests because I really am not a "Facebook" kind of person. Really don't get how people say they have 1000 Facebook friends. Then I started to accept a few, but I always examine their profile first to make a decision. There's one friend I deleted a few weeks ago after the posts and type of activity didn't seem like anything I wanted to associate with.

    If its well handled, you'd expect to be sending each other direct messages, commenting on their posts in the forums, and reading the daily updates on their wall.
  • PAV8888
    PAV8888 Posts: 14,254 Member
    ilfaith wrote: »
    For the past few months I have been unable to access my friend requests, so sadly, anyone who does send one is being ignored.

    Ha, me too! What the heck is with that? not that I've done anything about it because the reality is that I like interacting with my friends which means that I can only afford to have a small number given how much time is wasted scrolling!
  • ccsernica
    ccsernica Posts: 1,040 Member
    edited March 2017
    No, it's not rude. If it helps you feel better, you can put your general explanation of why you don't accept friend requests in your profile.

    If they don't at least look at your profile before sending a friend request, that's not your problem.
  • johnw83
    johnw83 Posts: 6,219 Member
    I take all friend requests all the time more info the better
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