Is it rude to decline friend requests?
Replies
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No, it's not rude. If it helps you feel better, you can put your general explanation of why you don't accept friend requests in your profile.
If they don't at least look at your profile before sending a friend request, that's not your problem.
Yeah, in my profile, I tell people to leave a message telling me who you are and why you want to be my friend. If you don't introduce yourself, chances are your friend request will be declined.
I also tend to decline people who have over about 500 friends. No way they're actually keeping up with 500+ people.
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Then I started to accept a few, but I always examine their profile first to make a decision. There's one friend I deleted a few weeks ago after the posts and type of activity didn't seem like anything I wanted to associate with.
I do that too! Even if they do include a message (which I ask for on my profile but not everyone bothers to do so), I'll go and check out their profile if the name isn't familiar. I also look at their existing friends list to see who we have in common, and if I'm still unsure I might even search the forums to see what they've been posting about lately.
I do accept some in spite of a lack of info, but I have no qualms about removing people again if all they ever do is post auto updates about their diary and logging 500 calories' worth of housework...
Claiming you must be in starvation mode, or raving about the latest bit of trendy woo, will also get you deleted!
I appreciate the friends I've made here who are helpful and supportive, and I try to be the same in return. Personally I enjoy having others on a similar journey to share my successes and woes with, but other people don't want any part of that and that's absolutely fine. 0 -
JustMissTracyToo wrote: »You will understand, given some time. Lots of people don't have many/any MFP friends, and just use the forums or diary. I'm not one of those people...lol...I LOVE my MFP friends, and have come to count on and value them just about as much as I do my friends IRL. xo
I'm with you MissTracy, I love my MFP pals and have made some really good friends from all over the world and have actually travelled to meet some face to face, had a wonderful weekend in Durham when 6 of us who had never met before all met up, great memories and totally off diet!!!
But I totally respect it if someone does not want friends and wants to do it alone.
Linda
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No, it's not rude. If it helps you feel better, you can put your general explanation of why you don't accept friend requests in your profile.
If they don't at least look at your profile before sending a friend request, that's not your problem.
Yeah, in my profile, I tell people to leave a message telling me who you are and why you want to be my friend. If you don't introduce yourself, chances are your friend request will be declined.
I also tend to decline people who have over about 500 friends. No way they're actually keeping up with 500+ people.
500?? Good grief, I couldn't keep up with 100!0 -
I try to keep my friends list to no more than 60, I would cut more off that list if I was having trouble keeping up with their posts but as it is, that number works fine as only about 10 of them post daily to their newsfeed. I decline lots of FR's but if a person has went to the trouble of writing me a little message with the request, I can't not accept them.
I quite enjoy the banter and camadarie of having MFP friends - I would say in the beginning few years of being on here they were the reason I probably had the weight loss success I did, they motivated and spurred me on.1 -
NARCISSISTIC_PUP wrote: »No.
Why do I need to explain myself to someone I've never met?
Lots of creepers on here so need be careful
This is the only right answer0 -
Yuck, friends.1
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Yes, it's incredibly rude*
*not really0 -
Not at all. I find "friends" on MFP worthless. Especially if they're people you don't even know. I also find the "information" on the forums worthless, as they contain an overabundance of self-righteous, judgmental people spouting nonsense and misinformation. If you want diet advice, go to real experts, instead of these armchair nutritionists. You will find yourself much better off.2
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HeidiGrrrl wrote: »Not at all. I find "friends" on MFP worthless. Especially if they're people you don't even know. I also find the "information" on the forums worthless, as they contain an overabundance of self-righteous, judgmental people spouting nonsense and misinformation. If you want diet advice, go to real experts, instead of these armchair nutritionists. You will find yourself much better off.
You sound like a blast.7 -
HeidiGrrrl wrote: »Not at all. I find "friends" on MFP worthless. Especially if they're people you don't even know. I also find the "information" on the forums worthless, as they contain an overabundance of self-righteous, judgmental people spouting nonsense and misinformation. If you want diet advice, go to real experts, instead of these armchair nutritionists. You will find yourself much better off.
FR sent!!4 -
No, it's not rude. If it helps you feel better, you can put your general explanation of why you don't accept friend requests in your profile.
If they don't at least look at your profile before sending a friend request, that's not your problem.
Yeah, in my profile, I tell people to leave a message telling me who you are and why you want to be my friend. If you don't introduce yourself, chances are your friend request will be declined.
I also tend to decline people who have over about 500 friends. No way they're actually keeping up with 500+ people.
500?? Good grief, I couldn't keep up with 100!
I've had a few friend requests from people I didn't recognise from the forum here, but somehow they had managed to acquire over 800 friends, and one person had over 1000!! I came to the conclusion that some people are just "friend collectors" ... kind of like, the person with the most friends wins or something.
I'm just not interested in that.0 -
My profile states I don't do the friends thing. Still get friend requests. Hell I don't have any friends on facebook, not even my wife. Just not my thing. I enjoy the forums though and have joined a couple of groups. But for now I'm letting my friend requests pile up.1
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I decline most friend requests because I am a really lousy friend. I have a total of 2 friends - one is a relative and one is someone who I couldn't refuse because I love their posts. But all my notifications are turned off so nothing gets posted to my feed (except my occasional rude comments), my diary is closed and I am just not a "rah-rah" person. But I've never felt rude declining a friend request.
Besides that, my sense of humor tends to earn me a lot of uncomfortable stares and can get me in trouble!1 -
Tacklewasher wrote: »My profile states I don't do the friends thing. Still get friend requests. Hell I don't have any friends on facebook, not even my wife. Just not my thing. I enjoy the forums though and have joined a couple of groups. But for now I'm letting my friend requests pile up.
Gosh, now I kinda want to send you a FR so I can live in your friend requests pile!0 -
LovesDogsAndBooks wrote: »I just started posting here yesterday and got some friend requests which I declined, explaining that for now I want to stick to the forums for information and motivation. I cannot be the only one who'd rather not do the friend thing online? To be honest, I don't even understand what it entails to be MFP friends.
I don't see how it could be construed as such. I am not here for friends, and I don't accept those requests. I don't think I am rude. 1 -
I accept anyone who doesn't have an eating disorder. But once they haven't logged in for a week, they're gone.1
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In my early days on MFP, I accepted friend requests a lot. It felt nice to have people liking it when I had a good day. It felt good to be like "GO YOU!" and get them in return from people when I exercised. It just felt really supportive and awesome.
It grew and I eventually had people giving me more support than I needed in a way that made me feel like I was being judged for bad days. Other times, I felt really disconnected from people I had friended because while we had the same goal (lose weight) oftentimes our life situations were so different that it was hard. When I found friends who had the same goals and similar lifestyles....well, I was just burned out socially between all the things I do with my personal life, as a hobby, and for work online.
I have some remaining friends. We don't interact much. Do what is best for you. If you want to try having the friends and the support that way, that's awesome especially if it helps you to have a supportive community that way. But if you prefer to ride solo and check in on the forum when you want people to weigh in... that's ok too. It's your journey and you can ride it how you want.0 -
HeidiGrrrl wrote: »Not at all. I find "friends" on MFP worthless. Especially if they're people you don't even know. I also find the "information" on the forums worthless, as they contain an overabundance of self-righteous, judgmental people spouting nonsense and misinformation. If you want diet advice, go to real experts, instead of these armchair nutritionists. You will find yourself much better off.
This right here is delicious. I'm actually giggling instead of lol'ing.1 -
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