Unsupportive partners/spouses?

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  • grapaj
    grapaj Posts: 136 Member
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    sjwert wrote: »
    I'm dealing with this right now. We moved in together not to long ago. He's a chef, so everything is about food. If I don't eat something he makes, he makes me feel guilty like I don't support him.
    Recently when I noticed my weight just kept climbing I finally decided to just say no. If he got upset, sorry dude. You'd be more upset if I died young because of my weight.
    It been rough, he says he's all for me losing weight, but complains when I don't eat dinner with him, or go out to eat with him, or have a beer with him, or go to the gym.
    Any suggestions on making him understand how important being healthy and losing weight means to me?

    Oooh a chef. Could you put a spin on this and challenge him to cook more in line with your diet? Like find some recipes and be like "hey baby, wanna make this up for me?"
  • kevinf2380
    kevinf2380 Posts: 256 Member
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    kclaar11 wrote: »
    My hope is that things get better for those that do not get the support. I posted earlier in this thread about the lack of support my fiancee was giving me including projecting her unhappiness on to me. I have since talked to her about things and how I felt, and it has been a complete turnaround. She may not enjoy some of the foods I eat and worries about overdoing it, but she has since been super supportive including doing some workouts with me last night. Sometimes, it can get much better in a short amount of time. Keep up the hope!

    ^ This
  • RaenaLynn
    RaenaLynn Posts: 87 Member
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    My husband is supportive but his own food choices sometimes rub off on me. I do have a history of ED so when he sees me weighing food and anxious to burn off calories he immediately thinks I'm headed downhill. I'd love for him to join me at the gym but with such a young kid at home one of us has to usually stay behind. He's not motivated to go so he keeps our child. And that's his excuse for not going. As if we don't have family who practically begs to keep the kid :|

    He unintentionally tries to sabotage me as well. If it's been a long week he'll ask me to skip that gym day because he wants to spend time. Or let's go out to eat because we're doing well. Or bringing me my favorite sugar loaded frozen drink because he was thinking about me, it's hot and the baby was probably giving me a hard time. He tells me I'm perfect how I am (I'm not) but on the other hand he does celebrate my losses and accomplishments with me. Do I think he's purposely sabotaging me? Not at all. But if he realized how tempting and damaging those tokens of affection were that'd be great.

    He's admitted today that he needs to make a lifestyle change. So fingers crossed we can find some common ground and start this journey together :D
  • Truvanessa
    Truvanessa Posts: 327 Member
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    Happy Sunday!
  • Truvanessa
    Truvanessa Posts: 327 Member
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    Good morning!
  • VonTinka
    VonTinka Posts: 89 Member
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    My boyfriend always buys cakes and cookies and all sorts. Its my own fault for trying to eat them though to be honest! :disappointed:
  • kenzienal
    kenzienal Posts: 205 Member
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    Wow, I knew my boyfriend was great at being supportive, but I really feel for some of you. I truly do.

    I just want those of you struggling to realize that there is a guy out there who WILL support you, who WILL encourage you. Who will think you look great now, and look great then.

    Maybe its the guy you are with now, maybe its not. Sometimes it just takes time to find your groove with your SO. Sometimes there is just no groove.

    Only you know.

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