the alien overlords have arrived

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Replies

  • dpwellman
    dpwellman Posts: 3,271 Member
    Philly cheese steak.

    That is all.
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  • Jonesingmucho
    Jonesingmucho Posts: 4,902 Member
    edited March 2017
    I would use my 24 hours to try to show him the duality of our nature - the yen and yang. We are violent and destructive, but we are also peaceful and creative. Maybe if he sees our good side, he would help us tame our bad side.

    I'd start with the classical arts: poetry, dance, music, painting, architecture, and sculpture

    Melodies from the world that evoke our emotions - lullabies, symphonies, national anthems, movie soundtracks, operas, and Justin Bieber

    Masterpieces from the world like Michelangelo's Sistine Chapel, Van Gogh's Starry Night, Renior's Moulin De La Galette, Botticelli's Birth of Venus and Collidge's Dogs Playing Poker

    I'd share how we live. Everything from cooking - the art of baking...the thrill of grilling...distilling (I wonder if aliens get drunk. Let's give him alcohol. ) - to family traditions, vacation plans, ceremonies, weddings, funerals

    I'd show our daycares with all the cute babies and our schools and universities - show how humans are always capable of growth and learning. (Offer him more alcohol...)

    I'd show him the movie ET and teach him a drinking game - Each time someone says 'Elliott' we'd have to do a shot.

    ....and I'd show him porn...all the porn...well maybe not the 50 Shades / BDSM stuff...

    I would go all 'Captain Kirk-sleeping-with-the-alien' on him since he is kinda red hot and horny with a dangerous bad boy vibe - NOT because I'm going to enjoy it! But, You know, to totally save the planet.

    I'd tell him I loved him.

    I'd either wake up the next day with alien babies cracking out of my chest OR he'd be gone leaving just a pillow note saying it was fun and he'll call sometime. Either way I think Humanity lives. #You'reWelcome
  • dpwellman
    dpwellman Posts: 3,271 Member
    Jonesingmucho wrote: »
    #You'reWelcome
    You forgot the duality of getting cheesesteak wit or witout.

  • theemsicle1986
    theemsicle1986 Posts: 20 Member
    I would point out the irony of destroying a destructive and violent race with the use of violence. I'd then seal the deal with oreos and pop tarts.
  • Steam_Powered_Awesome
    Steam_Powered_Awesome Posts: 301 Member
    Tell him "we are well on our way to destroying ourselves why wast the time and materials doing it yourself? With your advance technology you probably live longer so in a blink of the eye we will be gone." If that doesn't work show him how to crochet then strangle him with said scarf. If I'm going down I'm taking at at least one with me.
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
    _har_T_Swallow wrote: »
    what do you do to convince the alien race to spare our planet and save every person on it?

    tumblr_mfn384Xuds1s00ydeo1_500.gif


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  • Carbkiller1970
    Carbkiller1970 Posts: 3,289 Member
    RegaliTea_69 wrote: »
    _har_T_Swallow wrote: »
    RegaliTea_69 wrote: »
    _har_T_Swallow wrote: »
    lstrat115 wrote: »
    Do aliens have boobs?? If not we line up a bunch of women. Boobs always seem to render men unable to function

    this particular alien race is at an evolutionary dead end. they are the last of their kind and will not reproduce anymore. and so they cannot be tempted by your womenly wiles.

    the alien overlord is technically a "he". he also happens to sound exactly like Charles Dance from Game of Thrones. if anything, you'd be the one who is seduced.
    We should show them that the joys of our womanly wiles are not simply for reproduction on our planet.

    basically- they've bred beyond the point of sexuality.
    Mmm bread, we should give them bread!
    God no!!!!!!!
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  • Carbkiller1970
    Carbkiller1970 Posts: 3,289 Member
    RegaliTea_69 wrote: »
    Carbkiller1970 wrote: »
    RegaliTea_69 wrote: »
    _har_T_Swallow wrote: »
    RegaliTea_69 wrote: »
    _har_T_Swallow wrote: »
    lstrat115 wrote: »
    Do aliens have boobs?? If not we line up a bunch of women. Boobs always seem to render men unable to function

    this particular alien race is at an evolutionary dead end. they are the last of their kind and will not reproduce anymore. and so they cannot be tempted by your womenly wiles.

    the alien overlord is technically a "he". he also happens to sound exactly like Charles Dance from Game of Thrones. if anything, you'd be the one who is seduced.
    We should show them that the joys of our womanly wiles are not simply for reproduction on our planet.

    basically- they've bred beyond the point of sexuality.
    Mmm bread, we should give them bread!
    God no!!!!!!!
    You keep your bread hater ways to yourself or I'll offer you as sacrifice.

    *Stomps on a loaf of wonder*..... and scene.
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  • Carbkiller1970
    Carbkiller1970 Posts: 3,289 Member
    Carbkiller1970 wrote: »
    RegaliTea_69 wrote: »
    Carbkiller1970 wrote: »
    RegaliTea_69 wrote: »
    _har_T_Swallow wrote: »
    RegaliTea_69 wrote: »
    _har_T_Swallow wrote: »
    lstrat115 wrote: »
    Do aliens have boobs?? If not we line up a bunch of women. Boobs always seem to render men unable to function

    this particular alien race is at an evolutionary dead end. they are the last of their kind and will not reproduce anymore. and so they cannot be tempted by your womenly wiles.

    the alien overlord is technically a "he". he also happens to sound exactly like Charles Dance from Game of Thrones. if anything, you'd be the one who is seduced.
    We should show them that the joys of our womanly wiles are not simply for reproduction on our planet.

    basically- they've bred beyond the point of sexuality.
    Mmm bread, we should give them bread!
    God no!!!!!!!
    You keep your bread hater ways to yourself or I'll offer you as sacrifice.

    *Stomps on a loaf of wonder*..... and scene.

    Lol it would help to type the word bread I should try proof reading before posting
  • RavenLibra
    RavenLibra Posts: 1,737 Member
    The premise lacks logic.. what is Maleficent ( IE Angelina Jolie) going to do? come umpteen light years to threaten 7 billion+ hairless apes without a unified leader? with 24 hours left on the planet, I gather the family, have a nice dinner and pop champagne. stop at the local convenience store for a pack of cigarettes... then open my best bottle of Chateauneuf du Pape. sit on the porch with a big glass ... light up a smoke and reflect on my life.

    ANY alien presence in the universe that could make the trip would be so vastly superior they would hardly provide an option. The only reason to embark on a journey from one "system" to another would be to acquire resources. to that end 7 billion hairless apes at between 120 and 300 lbs... would probably fill their freezers quite nicely.
  • Carbkiller1970
    Carbkiller1970 Posts: 3,289 Member
    Consider this: what if they had infertility issues and needed us to procreate?
  • Carbkiller1970
    Carbkiller1970 Posts: 3,289 Member
    I offer no apologies for betraying bread bread is my enemy and with that said I would probably die in a Turkish prison DEATH BY CARBS
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  • LiftingRiot
    LiftingRiot Posts: 6,946 Member
    _har_T_Swallow wrote: »
    RavenLibra wrote: »
    The premise lacks logic.. what is Maleficent ( IE Angelina Jolie) going to do? come umpteen light years to threaten 7 billion+ hairless apes without a unified leader? with 24 hours left on the planet, I gather the family, have a nice dinner and pop champagne. stop at the local convenience store for a pack of cigarettes... then open my best bottle of Chateauneuf du Pape. sit on the porch with a big glass ... light up a smoke and reflect on my life.

    ANY alien presence in the universe that could make the trip would be so vastly superior they would hardly provide an option. The only reason to embark on a journey from one "system" to another would be to acquire resources. to that end 7 billion hairless apes at between 120 and 300 lbs... would probably fill their freezers quite nicely.

    honestly, I posed this question just wondering if enough people would comment on it, with like more serious answers like this you know? i was hoping people would share something personal in a way, maybe a book that helped them, or like a song that saved their life once, or a just a profound moment that they'd want to share in the face of hopelessness. something *anything* that might reach the heart of an alien being and cause him to see hope in the human race.

    and also just because i'm getting an ulcer from people saying there isn't anything worthwhile on chit-chat anymore.

    I think my response was legit.
  • EZDUZIT68
    EZDUZIT68 Posts: 1,168 Member
    Perform a rousing tap dance routine singing "Pine Top's Boogie Woogie".
  • megteg
    megteg Posts: 97 Member
    I think I'd show them the scene from the Fifth Element where Lulu goes through this exact quandary.

  • LittleHearseDriver
    LittleHearseDriver Posts: 2,677 Member
    lstrat115 wrote: »
    I would spend the next 23 hours doing unmentionable things with any guy(s) I wanted by reminding them that we are all about to perish.

    Are we related? :D

    :love: Between "sessions" I would be stuffing my face with pizza, philly cheesesteaks, peanut butter banana milkshakes, frisco burgers.....

    Dammit, now I'm hungry!
  • LiftingRiot
    LiftingRiot Posts: 6,946 Member
    lstrat115 wrote: »
    LiftingRiot wrote: »
    _har_T_Swallow wrote: »
    RavenLibra wrote: »
    The premise lacks logic.. what is Maleficent ( IE Angelina Jolie) going to do? come umpteen light years to threaten 7 billion+ hairless apes without a unified leader? with 24 hours left on the planet, I gather the family, have a nice dinner and pop champagne. stop at the local convenience store for a pack of cigarettes... then open my best bottle of Chateauneuf du Pape. sit on the porch with a big glass ... light up a smoke and reflect on my life.

    ANY alien presence in the universe that could make the trip would be so vastly superior they would hardly provide an option. The only reason to embark on a journey from one "system" to another would be to acquire resources. to that end 7 billion hairless apes at between 120 and 300 lbs... would probably fill their freezers quite nicely.

    honestly, I posed this question just wondering if enough people would comment on it, with like more serious answers like this you know? i was hoping people would share something personal in a way, maybe a book that helped them, or like a song that saved their life once, or a just a profound moment that they'd want to share in the face of hopelessness. something *anything* that might reach the heart of an alien being and cause him to see hope in the human race.

    and also just because i'm getting an ulcer from people saying there isn't anything worthwhile on chit-chat anymore.

    I think my response was legit.

    They always are

    Im glad you agree
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
    edited March 2017
    Since this is based on supposition, suppose I pointed out to them that they are totally being politically incorrect and that I would inform the ACLU. Then I'd point out that Planet Earth Lives Matter. I'd threaten to get a petition together and ban them from all Social Media. Then I would make a sign and protest.
  • theemsicle1986
    theemsicle1986 Posts: 20 Member
    _har_T_Swallow wrote: »
    lstrat115 wrote: »
    _har_T_Swallow wrote: »
    lstrat115 wrote: »
    _har_T_Swallow wrote: »
    RegaliTea_69 wrote: »
    _har_T_Swallow wrote: »
    lstrat115 wrote: »
    Do aliens have boobs?? If not we line up a bunch of women. Boobs always seem to render men unable to function

    this particular alien race is at an evolutionary dead end. they are the last of their kind and will not reproduce anymore. and so they cannot be tempted by your womenly wiles.

    the alien overlord is technically a "he". he also happens to sound exactly like Charles Dance from Game of Thrones. if anything, you'd be the one who is seduced.
    We should show them that the joys of our womanly wiles are not simply for reproduction on our planet.

    basically- they've bred beyond the point of sexuality.

    Well that all my plans are no good. Apparently all I know how to do are use my feminine wiles.
    Warm brownies then. They must eat, right? And back to puppies. Always puppies

    they also eat puppies.

    SO then the puppies were a fantastic idea

    you've inspired me. let's now say- the only way to save humanity is to offer this puppy:

    bbk9jk4r5e1i.jpg

    as a delicious meal to the alien overlord.

    you have to stay and watch the meal to its conclusion. the alien overlord has great table manners though. he would also like to hold a conversation with you while consuming said puppy.

    would you do it, if it meant saving the world?

    Could we give them a puppy that is outwardly adorable but has a terrible disease that basically means if anyone ingests it, they'd die a shocking death, thus saving humanity and putting the poorly puppy (who was in agony and going to die anyway because there's no cure for its terrible disease) out of its misery.

    Or maybe an evil puppy cursed by a demented witch? And the only way to save it from eternal damnation is by eating it but no human could bear to because they get hyponitsed by its adorable eyes. And the aliens are the only ones immune to the adorable eye trick. They eat it and become cursed and die and then the puppy miraculously comes back to life as a lovable little scamp somehow, and the whole ordeal is forgotten for all time and everyone lived happily ever after...apart from the aliens of course...

    But what if the request to eat a puppy was just a test to see how rotten the human race really is and they kill us all because we said we'd be willing to sacrifice an innocent ickle puppy? Didn't think of that, did ya?!
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