Too fat to EVER get pregnant?

PatriNina · April 2017

Too ashamed to talk it out with family and/or friends, so I’m seeking some support/advice here!

A bit of a background story:

Lost 100lbs on MFP a few years ago; went from 275 lbs to 175lbs.
Gained all of it back plus more over the course of 3 years, due to an initial “happy relationship” gain (after moving in with my now husband) and then total neglect of the healthy habits I had taught myself.

New starting weight: approx. 305 lbs
Current weight: 295 lbs

Now for my… concern

Went to a gynecologist after a 10 day TOM, after not having my period for months. This has been a problem for 2 years now, and we’ve been trying to conceive in the meantime.

Told the dr. I wanted to check if everything was ok downstairs, and then I’d go to a dietician and/or endocrinologist to get some input on my infertility, hair loss and generalized fatigue.

He told me verbatim: “That will do nothing for you. Look at yourself! You’ll get to 400 lbs in no time and have family members wash you and take you from doctor to doctor. Get stomach reduction surgery, then you can talk to me about wanting to get pregnant. Here’s the surgeon’s name… Look for him first thing tomorrow!”

What? Left bawling my eyes out and with a million things racing through my mind; which for a chronic over-analyzer and depressed individual can get pretty dark, really quick.

I’m all for tough love from family and no sugar coating at the doctor’s office, but that? He reacted as if I had told him he has to get me pregnant, and got instantly disgusted.

Got back on MFP, been going just fine for about 2 weeks.

My concern is…
Is getting pregnant impossible when you’re obese?

I know it comes with more risks and can be a huge strain on the body, but is it such a far fetched idea?

I’m giving myself a year to lose as much as I can and then start trying to conceive again (we’re not preventing it either).
But if even in the 220’s I can’t get pregnant, will it still be because of my weight, or would I be safe to go back to a gyno and not get traumatized by their response?

Thanks in advance to anyone taking the time to leave their 2 cents!

kommodevaran · April 2017

My two cents: I'm shocked your doctor suggested bariatric surgery. I don't think the habits you had taught yourself were healthy, if you just started to neglect them. I think they may have been restrictive habits, that you were just waiting for an excuse to stop. Good thing you can lose and keep weight off just by eating a little less.

PatriNina · April 2017

kommodevaran wrote: »

My two cents: I'm shocked your doctor suggested bariatric surgery. I don't think the habits you had taught yourself were healthy, if you just started to neglect them. I think they may have been restrictive habits, that you were just waiting for an excuse to stop. Good thing you can lose and keep weight off just by eating a little less.

My habits were tightly connected to using MFP. I'm in the small % that will have to use calorie counting even years into maintenance at a certain weight, or I will gain it all back.
I can eat 1500 kcal per day and not feel starved or restricted when I'm logging. But if I let that grip go, I won't hold myself accountable. Unfortunately self-control isn't among the habits I can teach myself

Thanks for chiming in!

Zipbsky · April 2017

Get checked by a PCP, there are multiple conditions that can negatively affect fertility. But even if you had those conditions it's still possible to concieve. Keep working on your weight as you are. Dont worry about surgery unless and until your PCP tells you that your weight is so dangerous that you need it.

zyxst · April 2017

That doctor is an asshat. Obese women can get pregnant. Being obese doesn't "help" a pregnancy, but you (general you) can get pregnant at about any weight.

Loug1983 · April 2017

The doctor sounds like a tool, but you are right a pregnancy while obese does come with greater risks so for that reason I think your plan to wait a year before trying again is a good one.

Focus on building healthy habits that will see you reduce your weight, but also that you can carry through your future pregnancy. When you get down to 220 I would think you'd be safe to go back to a (different) doctor and discuss it again.

RuNaRoUnDaFiEld · April 2017

I think he's getting a back hander from the other Dr he is referring people to.

Start tracking your food again, stick to it then see what happens. If in around 9 months time you haven't fallen pregnant get investigations done as to why.
In activity is as bad as being obese. So also start walking and moving more.

Best of luck to you

PatriNina · April 2017

Logging and moving more is definitely my game plan

and having patience.

The dr.'s reasoning is all out of whack, regardless of what's behind it. Surgery as his first recommendation after spending just 5 minutes talking to me is some serious bs.

Thank you all for the advice!

ckf76 · April 2017

I think it is really important to find a good and thorough doctor who can do a full workup on you. The part of your post that concerns me is hair loss and fatigue. So many underlying problems are missed because a doctor takes one look at you and all they see is fat. If you can find a doctor who looks beyond that, while at the same time encouraging you by helping you with your weight loss journey, then you will be well on your way to a pregnancy and good health! Best of luck.

RaenaLynn · April 2017

You can get pregnant at any weight, but it does carry additional risks such as preeclampsia, gestational diabetes, increased risk of needing a c-section, and some other things. Of course those things can happen to any woman, but you would be at a higher risk for them being obese.

Your Dr was rude as hell. Perhaps find another one? But waiting a year couldn't be bad thing. For some women extra weight can screw with their fertility, throwing off their menstrual cycles and make conception difficult.

Duchy82 · April 2017

First find a new gynae he is about as useful as a chocolate teapot (what I want to say will be *kittened* out) that is not the way to deal with a patient with a genuine concern.
Then when it comes to the fatigue, hairloss, etc go to your general practitioner now to get that checked just to make sure there aren't any underlying health problems there. Things like anaemia or hypothyroidism or pcos can certainly affect fertility and/or pregnancy so best to rule them out.
I will be honest when I went to the gynae with fertility issues at my heaviest 237lb the first thing they told me is to start losing weight as it will help with fertility but it definitely doesn't mean you can't get pregnant when obese.

So starting now is great then you have a head start, give yourself a year of actively trying to conceive and lose weight alongside it then go to a different gynae with your concerns, hopefully with the weightloss your period become regular again. But don't let that horrible gynae you saw discourage you!

ruqayyahsmum · April 2017

First port of call is a new doctor, yours is a douche

I have pcos and hypothyroidism. I was told i couldnt have more children ( i have an 11 year old) and based on experience it looked like that was the case.......

I lost 13 stone and fell pregnant. Sadly we miscarried at 13 weeks but fell pregnant again on what would have been my due date and now i have a baby boy

Catawampous · April 2017

Here's what I would do.

1. Fire that doctor immediately.
2. Find someone who will work with you
3. Get a thorough blood panel including all possible thyroid markers. Hair loss and fatigue can be associated with that. So can other things, of course but it's the first thing that jumps in my head
4. Don't worry about conceiving and concentrate on you for right now. Healthy mommas make happy mommas ☺
5. See where that takes you when you get to a good place.

I am not an MD. I am not giving medical advice. I am giving my 2cents as asked. This is just what I would do. You do you. ☺ Good luck!! You can do this!!

jennifer_417 · April 2017

Maybe in his tiny little brain has thought he was "helping." But wow there's about a million ways he could have said or done it better.
Losing the weight will certainly help your health in a myriad of ways, and I'm glad you're not immediately opting for surgery. Congrats on taking the 1st in improving your health.
If you can get a different doc, I'd do it.

LessCookiess · April 2017

I do recommend trying to lose more weight because it will help make the pregnancy easier if you ever chose to. Right now you would be considered high risk eat at a deficit, work out, and eat back half of the calories.
I wouldn't worry about pregnancy right now enjoy your marriage.
Sorry about the doctors comments it was super rude feel free to go to a different doctor instead for your hair loss and fatigue issues. And also about the fact you haven't had your period in a little bit it.

ugofatcat · April 2017

Obese women can and do get pregnant. However, being obese and trying to get pregnant is not in the best interest of the health of your baby. You have so many more risks including gestational diabetes which can lead to very large birth weights and vaginal tearing, preeclampsia which can lead to seizures, and overall risk of C-section.

While your doctor was cruel, they also see all the things that can and do go wrong with people when they make decisions without considering the consequences.

JeromeBarry1 · April 2017

Of course it is possible for obese women to become pregnant and deliver a healthy full-term baby. It is then highly probable the child will grow up first chubby, then fat, then obese, and have a lifetime struggle with obesity.
I know you want to have a child. Please get into 'momma bear' mode and fight for the wellbeing of your future child by doing the things necessary to attain a healthy weight before initiating your pregnancy.

I am not credentialed to give medical advice, nor did I sleep at a Holiday Inn Express or any other place last night. But I want to point out that losing weight with bariatric surgery is accomplished by forcing yourself to maintain a calorie deficit for tens of thousands of dollars while losing weight without bariatric surgery is accomplished by forcing yourself to maintain a calorie deficit for free.

wellthenwhat · April 2017

Doctor was an *kitten*. However, obesity makes one less fertile, and greatly raises the chances of a lot of problems during pregnancy. My mom works in the field, and one of the first things they recommend for infertility is to lose weight if you are obese, and don't stress about it.

jgnatca · April 2017

1. Get checked for PCOS. You have a few markers.
2. A few of my post bariatric buddies have gone on through successful pregnancies.

You are a strong and competent woman.

ashleyminnich1 · April 2017

I have low progesterone, and have a hard time getting/staying pregnant. I have found that when I lose I get pregnant MUCH easier. That does not mean I don't need help staying pregnant, though. I had to do supplement with progesterone this last pregnancy, because it was super low. i have not been a big as you are currently, but I have had doula clients your size before. I will say that labor and birth are much harder when you are overweight.

For that doctor to say that is just beyond helpful! You have lost before. You can do it again.

SafioraLinnea · April 2017

First: he was a jerk and you need a new doctor
Second: I got pregnant at my highest adult weight at the time. It's possible but riskier compared to a healthier weight.
Third: you personally may have underlying fertility issues unrelated to weight. However, obesity is linked to reduced fertility for some women.
Fourth: you are you own best advocate. You know yourself best. Be strong and build a team that supports you and your needs.

Best of luck!

Too fat to EVER get pregnant?

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