Mean Things People Said That Ended Up Motivating You
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"Nothing tastes as good as thin feels." which is true if you think about it.. But rude to say to a child!!1
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"Nothing tastes as good as thin feels." True, but still, rude to say to a child.0
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A good friend of mine said something like "you are turning into a fat cow". She was 100% correct, and I now appreciate her blunt, direct way of letting me know I was getting too fat.0
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My ex-husband and I are still friends, we do lunch about once a year just as a catch up.
When we were together it was "I love you in spite of your weight"
He was always thin but a couple of years ago when we had lunch he'd put on a bit of weight (he's late 40's now). He laughed and said "yeah if I keep going by this time next year I'll weigh as much as you."
He does not mean these things to be nasty. And he wonders why we are divorced.4 -
The meanest things I've heard came from my ex:
"You need to lose weight"
"Why are you eating that" (shakes head in disgust)
"You need to stop, you can't eat what I eat"
"You are too big, like for real"
Then when I lost 45lbs
"Why you wearing that skirt, those are my legs all these dudes don't need to see them"
"Why you showing cleavage, those are mines"
He pretty much made me feel bad either way. The things he said hurt me pretty bad and I know that's why I didn't feel as beautiful as people said I was most days.2 -
My Dear (not) Mother-in-Law decided to call my adult children and try to stage an "intervention" for me because of my "health". She's never been nice to me, and she certainly doesn't care about my health, but it made me SO very angry, and then very sad, then depressed, then angry again, then motivated!
Now the reality is, no matter how much more I lose (I'm down 20) she will NEVER acknowledge it, but I'm going to get healthy enough to live long enough to see her pass.
My other goal? Live long enough to see my grandchildren disappoint their parents (my adult children) LOL~7 -
This girl i really really liked said "Being around you makes me sad. I wouldn't think of dating you unless you changed"... i was 220lbs
185 lbs now. Weirdly enough, i feel nothing for her now lol9 -
You can't do it.2
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Mine wasn't so much something somebody said as it was what they did. I remember being at a 711 one night grabbing some stuff like milk, slurpies, and a few other odds and ends and I had my arms full of stuff. I walked up to the counter and 2 guys literally went in front of me like I was invisible. Not once despite the fact that they saw my arms were full and I was stuggling to hold on to everything did they move over so I could put anything on the counter also while we waited to be helped by one of the 2 clerks, which wouldn't have been so bad had they not looked right at me and kind of smirked at me. Then this really pretty thin woman walks in goes to stand behind me and then looking at me they offered to let her go in front of them (while they are still blocking me from being able to put literally anything on the counter simply because she was good looking. It was like they were deliberately trying to make it harder for me. Now I don't pretend that a random stranger would have their day made by being that disgusting to somebody that they didn't know, but the feeling it gave me was one I never wanted to feel again.7
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An old man, stranger in the public bus, said that I need to live in a different country because this one is bad for me. I'm too fat from all the food. I was so shocked I didn't know what to say. It hit me hard. Also once in a grocery store with my 4 year old son a man said "whoa fat *kitten* isle". My son asked me what a fat *kitten* was. I was ashamed and I have been loosing weight since. I am halfway to goal now.2
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Where do I begin?
My Mom in my early 20's. "You'll never find a husband if you don't lose weight!" She had always been close to my size.
My Dad: "You're too pretty to be so heavy. You ever drop that weight, you could have any boy you want!"
Guy I dated 17 years ago (who was also heavy):
I love you and want to marry you, but if you don't lose like 100 lbs, I'll have to say goodbye! Besides, I want you to be able to make a baby!"
I punched him and said..."Let me save you the trouble...BYE!"
About 2 years ago, my nephew, who was 7 says..."Are you gonna die?" When I asked what would make him ask such a question he says, "Well MawMaw (my Mom) said if you didn't lose weight, you are gonna die!"
Add many other insults over the years. None of them really motivated at the time. It just made me more depressed and the end result would be overeating. What really did it for me was the embarrassment of getting so winded walking on the beach last summer with my hubby and two year old. It was a switch that went off. I've since dropped 69 lbs...hitting my halfway mark. BUT, as I started kicking butt, I did reflect on those hurtful things people said and chose to push harder out of spite.7 -
This happened a couple of weeks ago. I had gone to a shop to purchase new trackpants so the saleslady was showing me stuff. She showed me a pant that was apparently couple sizes to small so the owner asked her to measure my waist which is 40" and yelled her that I will tear the pant if I try it on. Felt bad, didn't eat a candy bar just took a vow to lose 4" of my waist!!!!2
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I was picked on big time in junior high! This bully would chase me around calling me a f***ing fat cow!
But what really made it real for me was seeing my moms health go downhill... and because of her weight, that led to depression, depression led to more weight gain, which led to my parents marriage falling apart. My dad left her for a younger, fitter, funner & more attractive woman. That's when the light bulb came on for me! I wanted to be healthy, inside & out! Not just with weight, but my mental/spiritual/emotional health as well... I promised myself that I would never let myself go or create unhealthy habits that would destroy my relationships...
and because there are such strong feelings attached to this decision, it becomes a lifelong conviction...9 -
It wasn't meant as a motivator, but a limitation when a doctor told me many years ago that I would never weigh under 200 lbs "from carrying around all that weight all those years." That was probably 18 or 19 years ago and wasn't the impetus for immediate change but for some reason it pops in to my head quite frequently these days. Over the years I gained a good 50-80 lbs (I truly can't remember what I weighed at that time) but I am now 30 lbs below where he said I'd never be. For some reason I want to take a full-body picture of myself flipping him off and send it to his office, where he is still a practicing endocrinologist.
I have had so many rotten comments directed at me when I was super morbidly obese that it's hard to come up with a specific instance but for some reason I think back to high school when I had a broken leg and this sh*tty girl repeatedly said that she heard I sat on it (I ignored her). The punchline is that she is super morbidly obese now. Karma!7 -
I was bullied an awful lot through primary school and high school. A girl in my year told another girl that I was sort of friends of not to talk to me because I was fat. This same girl tormented me for years, no matter what I did she would find a way to ridicule me and remind me of how fat I was. Guys in my school would ask me out as jokes and it's made me very insecure and if someone asks me out I think it's a joke. I've been with my boyfriend for 10 months now and when we were first together I kept asking if he really wanted to be with me! School was miserable and it made me incredibly insecure about myself. I went to college and hung out with some girls that were smaller than me. One girl made me feel bad by constantly bragging about how she never puts on weight. I felt awful.
Been determined to prove them all wrong now!2 -
rachelr1116 wrote: »It wasn't really something mean but eye opening. I'm 5' 11" and once when I was out shopping with my 5'2" 115 lb friend I said something about not being able to shop at the same stores she could because they didn't carry my size (I was a size 18 or 20 then). She said "you're just bigger because you're tall" and that made me think about 15 years ago when I was the exact same height but a size 9. So, no, I wasn't just bigger because I'm tall, I was bigger because I had gained 70 lbs.
Oh yes, I have a friend of the same size. She's as sweet as they can be but also very very unaware of how she can say things that come across all wrong. Her younger sister is very large, about 280 pounds and she said she was the same size as me. Thanks...also I was 60 pounds lighter.1 -
I recall teachers at school thought I'd be a failure. I was 12 and the form teacher looked at one of my 'report' cards and said: "Do you want to live to be 13" - my geography teacher poking fun of my heritage/family and coming up with rude comments that today would probably have him suspended from his job if not sacked but back in the 90's it was acceptable in grammar schools.... I had little interest entertaining their BS so never really paid attention to their curriculum and was often not turning up. Yet I still was one of only 2 of us to go to Oxbridge in my year. Was asked to return and do a 'talk' as if it would encourage like minded kids who had their souls crushed by grown adults suffering from their own insecurities and failures in life; and pretend that it was all chirpy? I wrote a letter back telling them to shove it. My mother was not pleased but screw it. Never signed up to their 'old boys club', either, and the best thing I ever did was a little bit of mischief a few years later on an English teacher's.... well, anyway: the guy was a complete twit who thought he was some master author just because he had some book published about classical motorcycles. Racist. Sexist. Xenophobic. In my heart of hearts and given the state of him back then health and age wise - I'm inclined to believe he's a gonner so that's 2-0 to me.3
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"No one will look at you whilst you're this fat."
a) Wrong
b) So what
c) Thanks for the awesome motivation anyway
Signed,
Gonna Be Hot!2 -
I moved into a building in 2012 when I was 20 kilos heavier than I am now. I've had the same next-door neighbours since then, but only became friends with them a few months ago. Once they asked me, after having dinner together: "How long have you been living in this building?" and I said "For 5 years now". They were shaking their heads and telling me that no, that was impossible, because before me there was a really obese girl living in this flat. "Do you remember her?" one says to the other. "She was a freaking mammoth".
That was me. The mammoth. Same person, only thin now. It hurt me they wouldn't even recognise me, notice my face or other features of my body/personality. The only thing they saw - and still see - is my weight.
I put on a lot of weight in a matter of months (6, 7 or something like that) and once I was strolling about a shopping centre and bumped into an old acquaintance of mine, a guy my age. First thing he said when he saw me was - sounding like he was completely disgusted by my appearance: "WHAT happened to you?!?!"
My ex-boyfriend, with whom I hadn't had the friendliest of break-ups, sent me a message through Facebook asking me how I managed to become so "large". That was the only purpose of the message. To ask me that question.
One of my closest female friends came over to my place around Easter a few years back. Upon her request, I had made pizzas from scratch. She'd told me she had a craving for pizza and that she loved the way I made them so there I was, making her wishes come true. She brought me a huge Easter egg as a present, left it on the table and then proceeded to stand next to my kitchen door, while watching me knead the dough. Lit up a cigarette, watched me from head to toe and said, unapologetically, "I am your friend so I've got to tell you this: you are FAT. You've gained a lot of weight recently. You should stop EATING."
Back at the time all these things really hurt me, but at the same time I feel like I used them as motivation to start working out again, eating healthier and "making them shut their mouths".
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My six year old brother said he does not like me as I am too fat to play with him, not for one second did I get angry at him, its my own fault, he would love for me to take him to the park or run around the garden with him, so I am doing this for him and my family.2
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Everytime my mom visits (2-3 times per year) she comments on how fit my dog looks and how my dog doesn't look like she's gained weight.1
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tabletop_joe wrote: »
Haha I suppose not!0 -
DaniMedina1 wrote: »I moved into a building in 2012 when I was 20 kilos heavier than I am now. I've had the same next-door neighbours since then, but only became friends with them a few months ago. Once they asked me, after having dinner together: "How long have you been living in this building?" and I said "For 5 years now". They were shaking their heads and telling me that no, that was impossible, because before me there was a really obese girl living in this flat. "Do you remember her?" one says to the other. "She was a freaking mammoth".
That was me. The mammoth. Same person, only thin now. It hurt me they wouldn't even recognise me, notice my face or other features of my body/personality. The only thing they saw - and still see - is my weight.
I put on a lot of weight in a matter of months (6, 7 or something like that) and once I was strolling about a shopping centre and bumped into an old acquaintance of mine, a guy my age. First thing he said when he saw me was - sounding like he was completely disgusted by my appearance: "WHAT happened to you?!?!"
My ex-boyfriend, with whom I hadn't had the friendliest of break-ups, sent me a message through Facebook asking me how I managed to become so "large". That was the only purpose of the message. To ask me that question.
One of my closest female friends came over to my place around Easter a few years back. Upon her request, I had made pizzas from scratch. She'd told me she had a craving for pizza and that she loved the way I made them so there I was, making her wishes come true. She brought me a huge Easter egg as a present, left it on the table and then proceeded to stand next to my kitchen door, while watching me knead the dough. Lit up a cigarette, watched me from head to toe and said, unapologetically, "I am your friend so I've got to tell you this: you are FAT. You've gained a lot of weight recently. You should stop EATING."
Back at the time all these things really hurt me, but at the same time I feel like I used them as motivation to start working out again, eating healthier and "making them shut their mouths".
Wow. The people in your life have no tact or subtlety whatsoever. Humans can definitely suck.2 -
No one believed that I could become strong until I proved all of them wrong then later they started asking me how I did it. It's actually motivating when someone says u can't do it because now u have a challenge and go all out to prove them wrong. PEACE1
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I talk to and about myself way worse than anyone else possibly could.1
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The mean things people have said to me do nothing to motivate me - I'm super stubborn and I would HATE letting someone think that their nasty comments were what spurred me to change. I'm a chronic starter and stopper, but my biggest motivation right now (other than not looking like an orc in my wedding dress) is the fact that every time I bring up something about working on C25K or getting a cute workout outfit or whatever, my mom completely ignores me and changes the subject. Historically she's been my biggest detractor, always making disparaging comments about my size, clothes, body, etc. I want to get to my goal to look good, feel good, and live a long and healthy life with my future husband.
But I'd be lying if I said a little part of me can't wait to shove it in her face and force her to acknowledge that I've finally done it, with no encouragement from her and that her hurtful comments over the years were not the catalyst.
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I've been asked when I was due as well (by my company's HR no less when I was going on leave for an injury, they thought I was going on leave because I was due soon, ugh!)0
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Years ago, I found out my bf of 5 years (ex afterwards) was cheating. He tried to deny that he was sleeping with her, and did the same thing in regards to me. She said he told her that he would never touch someone who was as big as me, so I must have been lying about it. Meanwhile, she was even bigger than I was, but that is beside the point.
After years of drama while we were together, somehow finding out was the breath of fresh air that I needed. I literally was mad for about 2 days and then said screw it, I am going to focus on myself. A year later I was down 90 pounds and so much better off. I ran into him at the club a year or so after that, and he seemed so pathetic. By the way, he now has 3 children (2 by her and 1 by another woman), and still lives the bachelor life. He used to reach out to me randomly, asking for another chance, but I finally changed all of my info and emails about 5 years ago, so he couldn't do that anymore. Best part of it...I have my Mr. Right and a beautiful family, I am healthier and better than I ever was with him.11 -
The most recent comments were from my boyfriend's kids (5 and 6) who each have told me I was fat.
I have grown up with comments though. From family: "You'd be so much prettier if you lost weight" "I'll buy you that dress if you lose weight" "I refuse to buy you any more clothes if you gain anymore and have to shop in plus sizes". From peers: "you'll never get the guy you want looking the way you do" and jokes being played on me at my expense. To even exes: "I can't touch you because of how much weight you've gained" (meanwhile he was about 50-60 lbs overweight himself).
Then I lost weight. And the comments didn't stop. "You've lost too much" "do you have an eating disorder?"
So I gained it back. And the negatives returned. It's a huge cycle.
But I do have a boyfriend who loves me for me. I gained 30 lbs while being with him and when I mentioned I was ready to lose weight he said he didn't even notice I had gained.
My problem is that I don't use these things for motivation at all. I don't use compliments for motivation either. I can't let go of the negative or accept the positive.4
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