Is it wrong not to comment or like a private diary
perfect_storm
Posts: 326 Member
I have a number of friends who have private diary's so I do not know how they did when I see they were under so I don't comment or like bec I feel I can not accurately support them if I can not see their progress is that rude?
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Replies
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In 4.5 years I don't think I've ever commented or "liked" anyone's diary when they close it out...I'm not really a pat on the back for every little thing kinda guy...16
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I have like several hundred friends, most of whom i never comment, like, or even acknowledge on the food diary entires/logged exercise, etc.
Back in the day we couldn't even "like" these posts and i preferred it that way.
My opinion? It is completely inconsequential. Or maybe i'm just a terrible MFP.
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No, I think you are right. You can't comment on what you don't know. You could maybe say 'well done for being under'. If you feel better doing that.1
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No, I think you are right. You can't comment on what you don't know. You could maybe say 'well done for being under'. If you feel better doing that.
Hmm. But sometimes being consistently under is actually someone undereating. I couldn't/wouldn't support that.
But I'm also one who never likes or comments on diary closes and exercises. I don't really see the point, I don't need to be cheerlead on those things so I don't do it to others. In fact I haven't closed my diary aside from a couple of times way back when.3 -
Eh. Unless someone asks me what I think, I don't comment. I have no idea what they do in their life or if their diary is 100% accurate.
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perfect_storm wrote: »I have a number of friends who have private diary's so I do not know how they did when I see they were under so I don't comment or like bec I feel I can not accurately support them if I can not see their progress is that rude?
I never comment on closed diaries. I don't have many friends with locked diaries. I would generally ask why it's locked.1 -
perfect_storm wrote: »I have a number of friends who have private diary's so I do not know how they did when I see they were under so I don't comment or like bec I feel I can not accurately support them if I can not see their progress is that rude?
No, it is not rude.
I don't think it is necessary to like or comment on someone completing their diary even if you can see it unless they ask for input.
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I don't think most people care, but I'm like that too, in that I don't like to approve of something I can't see. Also, even though I believe in "if it fits your calories", I have a hard time "liking" diaries full of junk or that are otherwise unhealthy in some way (but I don't think people should "like" my days like that either ) 3
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I just want to give my 2 cents as someone with a closed diary that no, I don't think it's rude at all! I used to have my diary open, but I found that it resulted in more frequent comments on my dietary choices than I was comfortable with (be it during a discussion in the forums or from friends on my page). As an example of what I mean, sometimes I will weigh out a proper serving (according to package directions), then find that the MFP entry doesn't have it by weight. However, I know that I weighed out the gram equivalent of a 1/2 cup based on the package so logging it as such results in the same calories/macros being recorded without my having to re-enter the whole thing. Other users see this "1/2 cup", assume I'm not weighing and offer a diatribe on the inaccuracy of measuring cups. This discouraged me, so I cut out the cause.
Having said all that, I also recognize that many people are suspicious of a closed diary and hesitant to congratulate an accomplishment they don't have any information on! And further, I get the impression most people don't expect congratulations on these auto-generated posts anyway
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I just want to give my 2 cents as someone with a closed diary that no, I don't think it's rude at all! I used to have my diary open, but I found that it resulted in more frequent comments on my dietary choices than I was comfortable with (be it during a discussion in the forums or from friends on my page). As an example of what I mean, sometimes I will weigh out a proper serving (according to package directions), then find that the MFP entry doesn't have it by weight. However, I know that I weighed out the gram equivalent of a 1/2 cup based on the package so logging it as such results in the same calories/macros being recorded without my having to re-enter the whole thing. Other users see this "1/2 cup", assume I'm not weighing and offer a diatribe on the inaccuracy of measuring cups. This discouraged me, so I cut out the cause.
I do that too. I find it hard to believe that people give others on their friend's list a hard time about their logging/choices. Sometimes if I know someone is new and choosing inaccurate database entries I will point it out, but otherwise, unless they ask, I try to abide by, "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all" 4 -
I just want to give my 2 cents as someone with a closed diary that no, I don't think it's rude at all! I used to have my diary open, but I found that it resulted in more frequent comments on my dietary choices than I was comfortable with (be it during a discussion in the forums or from friends on my page). As an example of what I mean, sometimes I will weigh out a proper serving (according to package directions), then find that the MFP entry doesn't have it by weight. However, I know that I weighed out the gram equivalent of a 1/2 cup based on the package so logging it as such results in the same calories/macros being recorded without my having to re-enter the whole thing. Other users see this "1/2 cup", assume I'm not weighing and offer a diatribe on the inaccuracy of measuring cups. This discouraged me, so I cut out the cause.
I do that too. I find it hard to believe that people give others on their friend's list a hard time about their logging/choices. Sometimes if I know someone is new and choosing inaccurate database entries I will point it out, but otherwise, unless they ask, I try to abide by, "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all"
I completely agree. I will offer suggestions if someone is looking for guidance and/or if intervention of some sort seems necessary, but unless I see something dangerous or wildly inaccurate, I view it as yet another item on a long list of things that aren't my business.
I think you're right to abide by that even when we must say something, there is no reason why we must say it in a patronizing or unfriendly way! 1 -
I just want to give my 2 cents as someone with a closed diary that no, I don't think it's rude at all! I used to have my diary open, but I found that it resulted in more frequent comments on my dietary choices than I was comfortable with (be it during a discussion in the forums or from friends on my page). As an example of what I mean, sometimes I will weigh out a proper serving (according to package directions), then find that the MFP entry doesn't have it by weight. However, I know that I weighed out the gram equivalent of a 1/2 cup based on the package so logging it as such results in the same calories/macros being recorded without my having to re-enter the whole thing. Other users see this "1/2 cup", assume I'm not weighing and offer a diatribe on the inaccuracy of measuring cups. This discouraged me, so I cut out the cause.
Having said all that, I also recognize that many people are suspicious of a closed diary and hesitant to congratulate an accomplishment they don't have any information on! And further, I get the impression most people don't expect congratulations on these auto-generated posts anyway
Ugh. This why I a) closed my diary, b) turned off the newsfeed posts for it, and c) rarely even "complete" it anyway. Had a few jelly bellies logged and got a lecture on how the candy industry is evil and it's all a conspiracy to keep us addicted and all this nonsense. Like "Hey, I just want some damn jelly beans. Get off my *kitten* about how I want to spend my last 24 calories for the day, huh?"
The only time I like or comment on someone's newsfeed post is if I know that they need the encouragement for whatever reason. Either they're new, having trouble, been down on themselves or whatever. I assume most people are as annoyed by the flood of notifications they have to clear from their phone as I am when they haven't really done anything special.7 -
perfect_storm wrote: »I have a number of friends who have private diary's so I do not know how they did when I see they were under so I don't comment or like bec I feel I can not accurately support them if I can not see their progress is that rude?
I don't think anyone cares about comments on their diary. I wouldn't even bother.2 -
I don't think I would like anyone to comment on my eating whether I am under my calories (which would be frequent because I don't eat all my calories from activity) or over or if I had eaten something others may feel is 'bad'. It is the main reason my diary is private if I want an opinion about my eating I would ask for it on the forum.6
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PaulaWallaDingDong wrote: »I just want to give my 2 cents as someone with a closed diary that no, I don't think it's rude at all! I used to have my diary open, but I found that it resulted in more frequent comments on my dietary choices than I was comfortable with (be it during a discussion in the forums or from friends on my page). As an example of what I mean, sometimes I will weigh out a proper serving (according to package directions), then find that the MFP entry doesn't have it by weight. However, I know that I weighed out the gram equivalent of a 1/2 cup based on the package so logging it as such results in the same calories/macros being recorded without my having to re-enter the whole thing. Other users see this "1/2 cup", assume I'm not weighing and offer a diatribe on the inaccuracy of measuring cups. This discouraged me, so I cut out the cause.
Having said all that, I also recognize that many people are suspicious of a closed diary and hesitant to congratulate an accomplishment they don't have any information on! And further, I get the impression most people don't expect congratulations on these auto-generated posts anyway
Ugh. This why I a) closed my diary, b) turned off the newsfeed posts for it, and c) rarely even "complete" it anyway. Had a few jelly bellies logged and got a lecture on how the candy industry is evil and it's all a conspiracy to keep us addicted and all this nonsense. Like "Hey, I just want some damn jelly beans. Get off my *kitten* about how I want to spend my last 24 calories for the day, huh?"
The only time I like or comment on someone's newsfeed post is if I know that they need the encouragement for whatever reason. Either they're new, having trouble, been down on themselves or whatever. I assume most people are as annoyed by the flood of notifications they have to clear from their phone as I am when they haven't really done anything special.
Who are these people?! Granted, I have a small friends list, but I've had a few crazies in there at one time or another and no one's ever criticized my food choices!
In imitation of a couple of friends on my list, I recently turned off the notifications on my diary, but left it open so friends can see it if they want to for some reason. It really has cleaned up the news feed so you can see more significant posts. But I think some people want someone to read their diary every day to help keep them accountable4 -
I feel a newsfeed 'like' is a back pat for hitting the goals they set. It's their business, not yours as to whether their goal is adequate.
The only time a closed diary is rude is when/if they've specifically asked for food plan advice or input on why they aren't achieving their goals.
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I deliberately turned off notifications for posting when I close my diary because it is on private and I don't need someone randomly cheering for me when they have no idea what I ate that day. I kinda feel like if your diary is closed but you get annoyed if people don't like or comment when you close it, you're being a bit of a goose, frankly.
And my diary is closed because I have no need or desire to have people comment on my food choices. If I ever feel the need to ask advise I might open it, but I really don't see that happening.4 -
I'm glad you asked this. I've got a few friends who have locked diaries, but then complete it so it posts on the newsfeed, why why why? What's even more confounding is the likes and 'good job' comments they get :huh: I have never liked or commented on a locked diary, because i have zero idea what the hell it is I'm liking!!!!1
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Christine_72 wrote: »I'm glad you asked this. I've got a few friends who have locked diaries, but then complete it so it posts on the newsfeed, why why why? What's even more confounding is the likes and 'good job' comments they get :huh: I have never liked or commented on a locked diary, because i have zero idea what the hell it is I'm liking!!!!
Because they don't know that you can change your settings to not post, or don't care enough not to, I suppose.4 -
I dont. How do u comment on something u have no idea about....1
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Lmao cause i could drink 1200 calories of red wine and close out my diary itll say I'm under pat me on the back lmao they don't want accurate help apparently i wish someone would be like bro you can't keep eating buttery popcorn trying to fit it into macros just eat veggies1
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nefudaboss wrote: »Lmao cause i could drink 1200 calories of red wine and close out my diary itll say I'm under pat me on the back lmao they don't want accurate help apparently i wish someone would be like bro you can't keep eating buttery popcorn trying to fit it into macros just eat veggies
Nothing wrong with popcorn. And people aren't always....I'd even say aren't usually looking for help.4 -
nefudaboss wrote: »Lmao cause i could drink 1200 calories of red wine and close out my diary itll say I'm under pat me on the back lmao they don't want accurate help apparently i wish someone would be like bro you can't keep eating buttery popcorn trying to fit it into macros just eat veggies
Right, but this is only an issue if someone specifically asked for your help. I, for example, don't ask for or want any help in the form of dietary advice, so I keep my diary private to avoid comments from people who feel the need to offer it unsolicited anyway.2 -
Alatariel75 wrote: »I deliberately turned off notifications for posting when I close my diary because it is on private and I don't need someone randomly cheering for me when they have no idea what I ate that day. I kinda feel like if your diary is closed but you get annoyed if people don't like or comment when you close it, you're being a bit of a goose, frankly.
And my diary is closed because I have no need or desire to have people comment on my food choices. If I ever feel the need to ask advise I might open it, but I really don't see that happening.
I didn't realize we had this control until reading the thread. Have now turned off most of my notifications to stop spamming my friends. Wish MFP had them turned off by default, a clean newsfeed would help to see what friends are actually saying.7 -
Alatariel75 wrote: »Christine_72 wrote: »I'm glad you asked this. I've got a few friends who have locked diaries, but then complete it so it posts on the newsfeed, why why why? What's even more confounding is the likes and 'good job' comments they get :huh: I have never liked or commented on a locked diary, because i have zero idea what the hell it is I'm liking!!!!
Because they don't know that you can change your settings to not post, or don't care enough not to, I suppose.
I complete my diary most days so that it is a mental signal that I'm done eating for the day! I didn't realize there was a way to turn it off, frankly. I thought it just auto-generated that update on my feed.
Also, I usually click "like" to celebrate with people that they met their calorie goal. I rarely, if ever, go into my friends' diaries to look at entries and would never judge what they were eating! Just like I hope they aren't judging my food choices. But, I never expect people to "like" any of my feed. Who has time for that drama?4 -
Christine_72 wrote: »I'm glad you asked this. I've got a few friends who have locked diaries, but then complete it so it posts on the newsfeed, why why why? What's even more confounding is the likes and 'good job' comments they get :huh: I have never liked or commented on a locked diary, because i have zero idea what the hell it is I'm liking!!!!
Perhaps they like the 5-week prediction?
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Honestly I have a closed diary and I would find it weird if people were commenting on closed entries for me- who knows what I have going on in there haha
The only time I bother to comment on open diary friends' entries is when they ate something interesting and I want to know if it was good or not!1 -
Alatariel75 wrote: »I deliberately turned off notifications for posting when I close my diary because it is on private and I don't need someone randomly cheering for me when they have no idea what I ate that day. I kinda feel like if your diary is closed but you get annoyed if people don't like or comment when you close it, you're being a bit of a goose, frankly.
And my diary is closed because I have no need or desire to have people comment on my food choices. If I ever feel the need to ask advise I might open it, but I really don't see that happening.
I didn't realize we had this control until reading the thread. Have now turned off most of my notifications to stop spamming my friends. Wish MFP had them turned off by default, a clean newsfeed would help to see what friends are actually saying.
I pretty much abandoned my feed when we were getting spammed by "X is now friends with Y" messages. This was turned on by default in an update. I think it might be turned off now but was so annoying as to make the newsfeed unusable.1 -
I normally don't have the time to read everyone's meals. In addition, I don't want to get hungry right before I go to bed. lol I tend to only "like" and not comment on my friends diary even if they are over in calories. The way I see it, they are logging to make themselves a healthier person and staying true to themselves. That is what the "thumbs up" means to me. I'm not their judge. What works for one doesn't work for the other. My mfp friends are a huge support and I never mind being someone's cheerleader or even a motivator. It's reciprocated so nothing bad can come from having friends.
With that said, for those who have their diaries open and I have time to read a few, something positive comes about. I may find a recipe I can ask someone about or someone was a guinea pig and tried out a new food product. Overall, a diary opened or closed never bothered me in a negative way.
Now I wish we can control what we see on our own news feed aka friend's becoming friends with others. That gets to be a little too much.4 -
perfect_storm wrote: »I have a number of friends who have private diary's so I do not know how they did when I see they were under so I don't comment or like bec I feel I can not accurately support them if I can not see their progress is that rude?
I have a few people in my friends list who I know are under-eaters. I stopped liking their diary completions because I feel this gives them positive affirmation for unhealthy behavior. Then, I stopped liking everyone else's as well unless I was going to look at their diary which I am not unless asked.0
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